Sustingus

They/Them 21 if you must know Dear lord, I have to clean up my scrap tumblr account pls don't make me T_T This account is just tape and cardboard with zero structural integrity

[fconvicted]

Please vote for Tenna

[generously-general]

Tumblr Sexyman Subgenres

I've been wasting time and being a freak on this website for 10+ years. I've witnessed the rise and fall (and crash and burn) of empires. And now, as we crest into the dawn of the Poll Era, I'm doing Very Serious Research into the evolution and expansion of the "Tumblr sexyman" label. Behold, my magnum opus on a shocking case of divergent evolution:

Tumblr Classic (Evil Twinks)

Loki (MCU)

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)

Bill Cipher (fanon human version courtesy of the incomparable @itsscaredycat) (Gravity Falls)

The Onceler (The Lorax)

The 2013/2014 "my ovaries are exploding" forefathers of the genre. Suits or black tie fashion important but not required. Punchable or ambiguously evil, because teenaged you (and possibly adult you) had some kind of a thing for assholes. More rarely encountered than other Tumblr sexymen these days, but certainly not a dead category (hello Hazbin enjoyers).

Wet and Pathetic (Men Who Whimper)

Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)

Howl Pendragon (Howl's Moving Castle)

Jesus Christ (The Bible)

Will Graham (NBC Hannibal)

The most direct line of evolution from the classic Tumblr sexyman, and the most conventionally attractive. Set off from traditional heartthrobs by the fact that they are one metaphorical dropped ice cream cone away from a sobbing meltdown, a villain origin story, or a legendary crashout. This is a punching bag of a man that a fandom grips tightly in its fist and shakes around in a mad fit of cuteness aggression. Put that man in the microwave/torment nexus/soup.

Old Men (or middle-aged, or prematurely aged, or whatever)

Stanley and Stanford Pines (Gravity Falls)

Dr. Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb)

Gomez Addams (The Addams Family)

Senshi (Delicious in Dungeon)

Symptom of Tumblr's daddy issues and aging user base. These men tend to be somewhat more in line with the unhinged-ness of the Classic sexymen—not necessarily evil, but with a slightly higher tendency to be a weird, off-putting little freak than the Wet and Pathetic type. This is probably the result of a more settled identity, which is very attractive to those of us with back problems and a desire to stop masking all the damn time. You want him to take care of you or you want to take care of him (and sometimes taking care of him still means putting him in a hydraulic press, because you're on Tumblr and you can't act normal about your favorite characters).

That is Not a Human (for Monsterfuckers Et al.)

Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)

Bill Cipher (canon version) (Gravity Falls)

Caine (The Amazing Digital Circus)

Kermit (The Muppet Show)

Does this one need explanation actually. This website is monsterfucker central. Includes object head characters, assorted pixels, monsters, aliens, cryptids, muppets, Transformers, faceless entities (you can argue for Cecil Palmer here), and literally anyone else that doesn't fall under the umbrella of "this person could theoretically pass as a human." Most broad and flexible Tumblr sexyman category.

Much like animal classification and other forms of taxonomy, these categories have wiggle room and crossover. (See Bill Cipher's placement into multiple categories above, for illustrative purposes and because I am a Gravity Falls fan who thinks he's neat.) Fellow Tumblr veterans and scientists: comments are open and debate is encouraged. We gotta peer review ts

(Also hiii @mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026 if you see this please know that poll participants and your followers are the intended audience of this post and that's why it's in the sexyman poll tags. Ily thank you for hosting and enabling all this nonsense <3)

AND NOW A POLL:

Which Tumblr Sexyman subgenre is your favorite?

Classic Sexyman (Evil Twink)

Wet and Pathetic

Old Men (or Middle-aged, etc.)

That is Not a Human Character

Remaining time: 6 days 12 hours

[shroomzie]

Vote Tenna! (if that wasn't already very obvious from the comic)

[internetsomebody]

if Senshi wins i need him to sit down Grace and Tenna and make them a filling meal

[nocturnalkartoonist]

VOTE TENNA FOR TUMBLR SEXYMAN 2026‼️‼️‼️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Post by @mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026 · 1 poll

💬 6213  🔁 24219  ❤️ 32186 · Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

bonus drawing:

[merrnnnnnnnnn]

@mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

I’d be lying if I said this didn’t make me giggle to myself

[spmtnlove]

Tumblr Sexyman Tenna

[crimson-snek]

Tenna para presidente 2026!!!

Meus caros brasileiros, eu lhes imploro do fundo da minha alma, votem no Tenna, pensem no potencial memeiro, com nossos apresentadores de tv favoritos...

Para todos os nossos aliados caídos, saibam que seu esforço não é em vão, continuemos em frente, rumo a vitória!!!

Nosso querido Tenna precisa de vocês, VAI BRASIL!!! 🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷

(Translation: Tenna for president 2026!!! My dear Brazilians, I beg of you from the depths of my soul, vote Tenna, think of the meme potential, with our favorite tv hosts... For all our fallen allies, know that your efforts aren't in vain, let's move forward, to victory!!! Our dear Tenna needs you, GO BRAZIL!!!)

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

It’s crazy knowing that no matter who wins there’ll be porn of the winner posted to celebrate cause I’ve seen people promising nsfw art of all three if they win

[justapersoncarryon]

Tenna for Tumblr Sexyman 2026!

(please consider voting for him, I worked very hard on this drawing)

Some reasons to vote for Tenna:

He made a huge cultural impact online, spawning many AU's, fanfiction, fanart, ASMR Videos, a dating sim fangame and much more! People are feral for this TV!

He's middle aged, past his prime and terrified of becoming obsolete (so we must show him that he's loved!)

He's bad with modern technology and doesn't even know what an e-mail is

He is a deeply flawed, relatable comfort character for many

He'd be the FIRST object head to win the contest!

He is canonically queer

He canonically whines when he's asking for a walk

He introduced a lot of people to wireplay and contributed a lot to the entire robo smut genre (a lot of new tags exist solely because of him)

He is around 15 feet tall and can shrink to the size of an ant ("Tall enough to be a giant, handsome, apron- wearing older husband, and small enough so he can be like a glooby, cute pet that can be kept in a cage.")

He was originally supposed to look more like an Ant and had four arms in his early concept drawings

He'd do ANYTHING to entertain you and is desperate for validation

He has abandonment issues and deeply misses his ex who also happens to be a tumblr sexyman

He's emotionally unstable and has rapid moodswings

He would definetly cry and be depressed for weeks if he lost the contest

He's a single dad who loves his daughter

He is traumatized and just wants to be loved

Vote for Tenna here if you love TV!

Post by @mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026 · 1 poll

💬 8661  🔁 29146  ❤️ 37462 · Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

[imlostinwalmart]

I love you all, you can all be sexy men.

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round

Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)

Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)

Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)

Remaining time: 1 day 10 hours

Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

[mango-salt-spice]

VOTE FOR TENNA, WE MIGHT GET OFFICIAL FANFICTION BY TOBYFOX

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round

Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)

Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)

Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)

Remaining time: 1 day 10 hours

Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

[theultimaterewatcher]

havent rlly wanted to be on tumblr today but my tenna figure got here today!!!

therefore VOTE TENNA!!

also look at the cat how could you say no

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round

Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)

Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)

Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)

Remaining time: 1 day 10 hours

Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

[justapersoncarryon]

To those saying we need more variety in the winners consider this: Stanley and Sans weren't built skinny and Tenna would be the FIRST object head to win (plus him being a twink is a misconception, he is middle aged and top heavy)

Tenna also had the biggest cultural impact on the internet so far, spawning many AU's centered around him, selfshippers, ASMR videos, a dating sim fangame, and he singlehandedly introduced a massive amount of people to wireplay and the robof*cking community while expanding on the genre.

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round

Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)

Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)

Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)

Remaining time: 1 day 10 hours

Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

[dj-inthehouse]

WE CAN DO IT

JUST A BIT MORE EVERYONE

WE CAN DO THIS!!!!

[food-cake]

Oh God I can't watch

I just know that if we win, we gotta celebrate

If we lose I'll try to be a good sport about it

And we'll probably celebrate getting 2nd place anyway

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round

Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)

Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)

Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)

Remaining time: 1 day 10 hours

Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

[theultimaterewatcher]

havent rlly wanted to be on tumblr today but my tenna figure got here today!!!

therefore VOTE TENNA!!

also look at the cat how could you say no

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round

Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)

Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)

Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)

Remaining time: 1 day 10 hours

Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

[bootsandcara]

I need to share this to the world:

Aughhhh, this is so funny to me, I was CACKLING—