summary: He loved you just as much as you loved him. You thought he would have stayed. Yet, he left with a goodbye and your heart still in his hands.
tags: doomed relationships, angst, hurt no comfort, Bendy may be Ooc, Bendy pushes reader away EVEN THOUGH HE LOVES THEM, chat is normal to cry because a fic you legit wrote
Your heart beat differently around him.
But not in the typical rapid fashion. Your heart would flutter, then ache. Like your heart itself knew it wasn’t a good idea to love a demon. That holding affection this deep would wound you badly in the end.
Yet, you embraced him anyway.
He held a charm that would make anyone swoon. A smile bright and slightly mischievous, yet alluring all the same. And glimmering eyes that would soften the moment they landed on you. Gentle hands that would often intertwine with yours.
Frequent moments where you both lay under a sea of stars, mumbling wishes of how the future would play out, soft giggles leaving you two as jokes and comments were shared. And he’d smile at you, the kind of smile that tells you they meant every word of affirmation. It brung a feeling of warmth to your chest. It felt as though the coziest blanket was being wrapped around your heart.
“Ya’ know… I feel like I can tell you anything.” He’d speak up, voice delicate like the fallen petals of a rose. “I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt that way with anyone.” Sincerity sunk deep within his words.
“The feeling is mutual.” You respond, shifting your position to be closer to him. “I love you too.”
Your words stung his heart far more than he would have preferred. He knew it was dangerous to fall this hard, to love you this much. Yet, he remained beside you anyway.
Resting beside him, bathed in the fabric of the glistening moonlight, you felt whole. Beneath the shimmering ocean of night, the constellation spelled out your names on the headstone of fate. You believed it would stay like this. You were convinced he’d stay.
It felt colder since he left, like your body wasn’t used to his missing warmth. Moon lit nights where stars performed a shining dance over the streets had suddenly grown dimmer. Sentences of sentiment slowly wilted into dry, brown petals who have lost their original beauty.
Slow and romanic music twisted into an unrecognizable melody that lost its rhythm. Wishes and desires have faded into nothing but ash and dust. The heartfelt writing within dedicated love poems scattered into blurry lines and letters that held no meaning.
The space beside you felt empty when there was no one to fill it. You turn your head in hopes of seeing his relaxed stance, that familiar smile, and his eyes gleaming with a hint of mischief behind them. Yet you were met with only the ghost of the tenderness you once felt.
You were reaching out for a presence that wasn’t there. His voice still echoing through every fiber of your body. The vibration made you shiver, even when you knew the sound originated from your imagination. The slow burn of your heart provides no consolation. You let out a shaky sigh in attempt to soothe some of the ache.
You hated yourself for it. Why must you feel this strongly? Why did your heart wither when you remember how he left? Were your feelings truly that fragile? Or did he mean so much more to you than you realized…?
“Did I do something wrong? Please, I won’t know if you don’t communicate with me.” You plead, hands clasped together like a guilty sinner.
Bendy paused, eyes flickering over to you, before he shakes his head. “No, no… you didn’t do anything. I…” His words reach a dead end as he avoids your gaze once more.
“Then.. why have you been so distant? You keep giving me the cold shoulder…” You’re deeply hurt by his recent behavior, and the hesitation laced between each word only draws the velvet curtains further. “I’m sorry if I’m being a burden, I don’t mean to be, I’m just trying to help you. I… I know this whole blot situation is incredibly scary and difficult for you, and I just… I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
Reluctantly, his eyes meet yours. For a moment, he just gazes at you. His eyes still glimmered with the tenderness and regard he held for you, but they also held something far heavier, deeper, sadder. “I know.. and that’s what makes it worse…” His voice held a tremble of pure vulnerability, a part of himself he often kept locked behind a frame of charm.
“What?” Your brows furrowed in confusion, yet your tone softened with concern.
"You care so much for me.."
"And thats supposed to be a bad thing?"
"No," He said, although it sounded more like a breath than a reply. A dry chuckle left him, but there was no contentment behind it.
"Then.. why do you keep pushing it away?”
Silence hang heavy like glass about shatter under pressure. It was difficult for him to push out the words when they felt like thorns against his throat. He never wanted to hurt you, and may whoever superior being curse him if he ever did so on purpose.
“Because it’s not your fight. You don’t need to be constantly worrying about when I might break, about how many years I have left before I succumb to this illness..”
“You don’t deserve to be in a constant state of anxiety just because of me.” His words came out slow and painful, like poison beginning to carefully thread its strings of death.
Any other audible noise faded into a buzzing hum. It was deafening— ringing in your ears like a blazing alarm. Your breath got caught in your throat, and you almost choked.
“Bendy, I want to worry, I want to help, I want to stay by your side because I love—”
“Please…” Your words were intercepted by his fragile plea. “Please don’t love a man who could die at any moment.” His voice was delicate, gentle, yet his words felt like sharp broken shards carefully stabbing at your already aching heart.
You take his hands into yours, he doesn't oppose. "Why can't I?" The words almost got caught in your throat. "I'll end up grieving you one way or another." Your response causes him to freeze. He intertwined his hands with yours, fingertips brushing the back of your hand like you were something divine.
"Because," he begins, voice shaky and dripping with woe, "maybe this way, letting me go will be easier." His hands raised to cup your face, his thumb wiping away tears you didn't know fell.
His lips met yours for the last time.
You still feel his touch lingering on your skin. You swore it never left. When his touch faded into a shadow of what was, you felt the ache from before. From the day you fell for him, from the day you watched him leave. He wanted you to let him go, but you were unsure if it was possible when he left the way he did.
You wished he would have stayed.
