Spoiled Rotten

Hi, I'm Hunter. I'm from Maine. Let's be friends.

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

I just…I feel so ashamed. I should have remembered. I should have done something amazing for you. 

It’s not too late to do something amazing. Show me. Show me how much you love me.

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

Maybe not…initially, but over time? Are you sure you wouldn’t feel some sense of…relief? 

I’m certain. I would rather have you and all the frustration you come with than to be without you.

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

I don’t know. So often I feel everything would benefit from not having me around. I am a constant disappointment to the people that care about me. I wish I could disappear so you wouldn’t have to suffer this anymore. 

That wouldn’t make me happy.

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

I make too many mistakes, a lot of which you have to suffer from. 

What should we do?

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

I didn’t. I didn’t hurt you intentionally! I never sought to make you miserable. I feel that’s somehow worse. That I just…was thoughtless. That’s all it amounts to. Carelessness. How could I have been careless with you? I don’t know. Selfishness, I guess. I thought I could escape it, but I can’t. I’m horribly, inescapably self-involved. I never cared until I fell in love with you and I wish, I wish I deserved you. 

Then you made a mistake. That’s all.

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

What matters here is what I did, how I made you feel. I can’t believe I would’ve been so thoughtless. I don’t deserve you in the least. Or Rachel, or anyone. 

If you weren’t thoughtless, then...why? Give me an honest reason, not some self-deprecating answer, as to why you would have intentionally hurt me.

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

No, I’m not! I did a horrible, horrible thing to you when I should have known better! On top of everything else I’ve put you through…

It’s not as though I haven’t put you through the ringer.

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

…I’m no better than them. 

Jesse, no. You are better than them, I just...I’m trying to be honest about how it made me feel.

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

…can we? I feel like you’re putting on a brave face when…you’re hurting in a way you won’t tell me. 

I’m...trying to not overreact. I know you’re not my parents, you’ve been far better to me than they ever have. But...this is something they’ve done to me. And I appreciate the effort to fix it, which is also more than they’ve ever done, but...all day when I sat there wondering if someone was going to say anything and then no one did, it just brought back those feelings.

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

I know…I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know how I can even show my face after this. 

It’s alright. Let’s just...have the party. We can work through this.

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

Of course I would, if it would make you happy. Would it make you happy? Be honest. 

It...would. I...I suppose selfishly it would have made me happier if it had happened on my actual birthday, but...it’s too late for that now.

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

We’ve already discussed this. I’m with you and Rachel, you’re with me and Dr. Williams. I don’t think anyone is disputing our right to do that. That’s not what this is about. I forgot because I’m selfish and absentminded. 

If you’re certain. Nate suggested throwing a party of some kind. He said it was your idea as well. Would you still want that?

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

I…no. It would, perhaps…be a lie to say that I haven’t felt jealous about it from time to time, I suppose, but…I love you and I want more than anything for you to be happy. Whether or not it’s with me. 

I want to be with you. Selfishly, I...want to be with both of you.

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

Of course not…what would you have done in the first place?

I...I thought perhaps me being with Nate might have...put the final nail in the coffin.

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

It’s not okay. I made you think I didn’t love you. I want to try to make this up to you…even if you’re done with me after this. I wouldn’t blame you…after everything I’ve done. 

I have no intention of casting you aside. If you want to have a party to make it up to me we can. Just...promise me this really isn’t because of anything I’ve done.

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

Yes, but that’s not an excuse. I should have never forgotten something so important. 

It’s...okay. It happens.

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@Jesse

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fallenstarjesse:

No! God, no, darling. Never. I’m an idiot and a horrible partner, that’s why I forgot. 

Were you...busy?