[dogpuppy]

[tosharchives]

i have the kind of melancholy that attracts me to large bodies of water.

[energyprison]

the way i feel about retirement is similar to how suicidal teenagers feel about getting to 25

[toddsolondz]

when you’re having a laugh with your dad but then you suddenly remember that he’s going to hell

[theprincehamlet]

topical

[toddsolondz]

oh my god hamlet

[sideburnsbrigade-blog]

[dorothylarouge]

[charl0ttan]

im glad we're in the internet backwaters i think if dove chocolate or something replied to my post i would just keep reporting them for terorism again and again and again

[neenarchive]

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

[neenarchive]

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

[elektrashocktherapy]

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

[bpnguyenart]

just a pretty boy soaking up vitamin d

[justsomeguycore]

lesbian scifi is so easy. here’s a woman in cargo pants and a tank top on a spaceship. are you with me

[justsomeguycore]

maybe it’s not even cargo pants. maybe it’s coveralls rolled to + tied around the waist. maybe she even has fuckoff boots

[ohnoproblems]

i call this joke "chuuni margarine". thank you

[sailatina3]

[darkspaceboytoy]

Look I think it is commendable to write a book. That takes work no matter what. But man are there some bad ones out there.

[darkspaceboytoy]

Folks I won’t say it again all authors must be killed

[6mayhem]

wait i just found out you can be nice to people and be their friend i thought we had to kill them all cause i was raised in a lab to be a living weapon

[frontrowraisins]

homosexuals be upon ye

[not-lupus]

he's quoting hamilton pre-hamilton

[loumandivorce]

devestating news for you

[malcolm-f-tucker]

[szaywian]