Untitled

[k-eke]

Little treat.

[boredkitty]

accurate representation of me

[shitpostinguniverse]

[boredkitty]

same

[prokopetz]

The reason the heroes are always so easily able to infiltrate the bad guy’s secret base isn’t because evil minions are stupid. I mean, they may well be, but that’s not why.

Rather, it’s because effective operational security depends on establishing and enforcing norms. No behaviour is suspicious in the abstract; that judgment can only be made with reference to some accepted code of conduct.

And if you’re a minion? You basically have no point of reference, because working for an evil overlord is, scientifically speaking, weird as hell.

You had to fight a giant squid as part of your orientation. You’re pretty sure Alice over in engineering is a version of you from a parallel universe, but neither of you have ever had the guts to bring it up. Your supervisor wears a horned helmet in the goddamn break room.

So when you’re confronted with that “new hire” who’s really, really obviously three raccoons in a trenchcoat, you’ve gotta ask yourself: is this… normal? Should I be reporting this to someone?

More importantly, do I want to make this my problem?

And for those who make it as minions, the answer very quickly becomes no, no I do not.

[kate-read-that]

Urban fantasy!!

City faes that meet in vegan restaurants to talk about the last trends in twitter because they’re all social media addicts. They dye their hair a thousand colours and always wear glitter for their selfies. They study philologies, arts and literatures and share notes full of neon markers.

Warlocks sell potions and charms in dark alleys and go party in small pubs no one knows about. They get into a trend when it’s no longer modern and talk about movies and books that just went out of fashion. They smell weird and have tattoos that make sense to no one but themselves, and they write tumblr text posts that spiral down to madness.

Werewolves eat pizza in crappy restaurants with their leather jackets on and compete about which one has the better bike. They choose a different forest to hang out each full moon and drink beer around a fire, sharing adventures and stories that happened when they were still human. They hang their bios in tinder and try to guess which girls are supernatural and play football in the weekends.

Vampires work in music shops and discos and videogame arcades. They wear elegant dark clothes and have goth instagram profiles because following a vampire is trend. They go to expensive restaurants for the finest italian food and human blood given freely. They adopt exotic pets and teach in their profiles how to take care of them.

Shapeshifters cross the city on their skates and bicycles and surf on the weekends, doing incredible tricks no one else can with their animal extremities. Their eyes switch colours with their moods and they hang you tube videos playing truth or dare. They transform into animals in the middle of the street to scare people and make them laugh, and they adopt animals to fool people into thinking they’re friends.

[boredkitty]

cool

[shittybannanas]

[boredkitty]

the ghost of the procrastination past, present and future

[memeuplift]

[boredkitty]

no truer words have been typed