welcome to my directory of all the shane hollander/ilya rozanov stories I love! all writing credit belongs to each individual writer, and if you resonate with any story, make sure to show that author some love on ao3! reader discretion is advised, so be sure to check the warnings.
ʚɞ rabbit holes - @Who_Needs_Reality
if you can't figure out your situationship.... Google him.
ʚɞ we'll be afraid of nothing - @/satorussuguru
He settles for: “You were kind of an asshole.”
ʚɞ I Don't Need Drugs ('Cause I'm Already High Enough) - @lipstickliterature
Shane has an emergency wisdom tooth extraction.
Ilya takes care of him.
ʚɞ and if i didn't know better. - @Joooceee
Ilya wishes on a star. The universe helps it come true.
ʚɞ Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) - @satansliteraryhero
Shane and Ilya's first Halloween as a public couple. It's about as normal as you'd expect.
ʚɞ first-person plural possessive - @oliviacirce
"Sorry, what?" Shane tore his eyes away from Ilya.
Wyatt snorted, amused. "You know you can go over there, right? The days of gazing longingly at each other and hoping nobody notices are behind you, buddy."
ʚɞ Fanning the Flames - @cjr2
Shane and Ilya are granted an opportunity to come out on their own terms. Sort of. And in they do it in a very Ilya way. (Surprisingly, it is Shane’s idea)
ʚɞ fall in love again and again - @galacticsukki
after some team chirping at Shane's expense, Ilya accidentally interrupts a few of his potential dating prospects and then keeps on doing it less than accidentally
ʚɞ home, where my music's playing - @Mathgeek12
The Centaurs stage an intervention.
ʚɞ i'm waiting for it (that green light, i want it) - @sevendawn
Ilya tells Shane not to come until they see each other again in three weeks.
ʚɞ Dialing You (Sorry, Darling You) - @hollano_ov
Shanes works in IT.
Ilya's computer always seems to be fucked up.
ʚɞ My Only Wish is You - @/moonchild1998
Ilya Rozanov has everything he's ever wanted. He has Shane Hollander. What the hell is he supposed to wish for now?
ʚɞ Lessons in PDA - @garden_songs
5 times Shane Hollander makes a conscious effort to publicly display his affection for Ilya Rozanov, and 1 time he doesn't need to think so hard about it.
ʚɞ carve your name into my bedpost - @/dykeries
It was a tough loss in Boston. Shane knows how to make Ilya feel better.
ʚɞ Compatible - @jewelledfoxes
Ilya's blood has always run hotter than Shanes.
Or: Yay Hollanov free use! Everybody cheered!
It seems Ilya fucking Rozanov adheres to a daily schedule of tomfoolery. He’s always finding ways to irritate Shane with the stupidest shit.
ʚɞ the only ones who understood me then - @ygrainette
Ilya introduces Shane and Svetlana, and gets a little more than he bargained for.
ʚɞ all the things he did - @blankjournals
4 times Shane was strict with Ilya and the 1 time he wasn't ft Ilya having an emotional crisis over it.
ʚɞ surrender - @vemod
shane and ilya are roommates and bad at feelings.
ʚɞ layers of honey - @sushiwriter
Once, belied by the notion of a city teeming with other Russians, he spent the day going from bakery to bakery in New York City, trying to find a cake that would even come close. It was the dead of winter, and he blamed any teariness on the way the wind whipped at his face. He ignored texts from everyone but Shane.
ʚɞ Reward - @lovy_shilya
Ilya is injured, but that wasn’t going to stop Shane from getting rewarded for their win.
ʚɞ Wherever I'm with you - @SatsumaSegments
the cottage, Ilya's version: an extended ep 6 featuring my take on what happened in the gaps we didn't see.
ʚɞ without changing a part of me - @gurlsrool
5 times Shane didn’t plan on stealing Ilya’s clothes, +1 time he absolutely did
ʚɞ feel you vanish like sugar into tea. - @Joooceee
5 times Hayden started understanding Shane and Ilya's relationship, and the 1 time he finally told Shane he did.
ʚɞ Together at the Top - @kaijuerotica
It's 2026 and NHL players are finally returning to the Olympics. It's time for a do-over. It's time for redemption. It's time for Hayden Pike to get a fucking break from these losers.
ʚɞ from the cold - @stammiviktor
The Hollanders have a new son to take care of. Ilya has no idea what’s going on.
ʚɞ Cabane à sucre - @bubbleomatic
Harris organises a team field trip to a cabane à sucre — sugar shack — to gather content for the Ottawa Centaurs’ social media. Ilya doesn’t understand why Canadians are so obsessed with maple syrup, but Shane is there to make the weird cultural experience more memorable.
ʚɞ we keep it secret (won't let them have it) - @poppypickle
Five times someone unexpected keeps Shane and Ilya’s secret, and one time they don’t have to. Featuring the Pike twins, Zane Boodram’s pregnant wife, Ilya’s neighbors, and more.
ʚɞ The Shane Hollander Thing - @fandom_commitment_issues
Cliff Marlow has been on Boston’s team with Ilya Rozanov for the last seven years. Last week, he figured out the Shane Hollander thing.
ʚɞ Funny How It Found Us - @tippitytap
The 5 times Shane and Ilya share a domestically boring task together for the first time.
ʚɞ when the sun came up, i was looking at you - @justhockey
a perfect afternoon at the cottage.
ʚɞ death wish - @moubrip
“Barrett, your turn. What did you think of Hollander?”
Troy must have had more to drink than he thought. Or he makes bad decisions without Harris right next to him. Or he must have a death wish. That has to be the reason why he says what he does: “I thought he was a fucking babe.”
ʚɞ Backbone - @Content_Scrapbooker
5 times Ilya Rozanov ruined his Shane Hollander’s “good boy” image & the 1 time he does it himself.
ʚɞ you could never lose me - @virtual_typewriter
after a night out with J.J. and Hayden, Shane wakes up, certain that he has cheated on Ilya. (Spoiler alert: he hasn’t)
ʚɞ where the hell is my husband? - @justhockey
5 times Ilya calls Shane his husband, and 1 time Shane calls Ilya his husband.
ʚɞ you're so pretty when you take control - @Little_White_Lie
But if Shane wanted to try something new, Ilya could indulge him. This was Shane after all, Ilya’s sweet, desperate bottom. What harm could it do? It wasn’t like they didn’t both know how this would end, with Shane face down on the bed, begging for Ilya’s cock.
ʚɞ apply pads (shock now!) - @/blongblong
shane just wants to do his job and ride the ambulance. ilya thinks shane should be riding him, instead.
ʚɞ won't be alone for the rest of my life - @daydreamnelson
ilya basically adopts luca aka the ottawa centaurs found family trope we all need.
ʚɞ Provider - @/Moami
Ilya starts giving Shane gifts at every opportunity. Shane investigates, and retaliates.
ʚɞ Reluctantly supportive - @CherryPieO
Hayden should have known better than to insist that Shane have a drink. Now he's stuck with his best friend drunk and gushing over his asshole boyfriend, while they're waiting for said asshole boyfriend to show up. Best birthday ever.
ʚɞ Over for Dinner - @find_me_in_the_ivy
David and Yuna coming over for dinner after Shane and Ilya's visit. Ilya gets to know Shane's parents and realizes just how much he loves being a part of a family.
ʚɞ Study Habits - @ThePromptWasntThisLong (shredded_potato)
Ilya stares at the screen, realizing Shane has been conducting independent research on how to be the perfect sub for him.
ʚɞ you make it so easy (to fall so hard) - @/brunettereader
five times that Shane loved Ilya in his quiet way, and one time that he loved Ilya loudly.
ʚɞ Ilyusha - @boysquipleurent
Shane decides Ilya should also have a nickname.
Since it's Shane, this quickly becomes the language equivalent of "Started making it, had a breakdown, bon appétit!"
ʚɞ better whip me if i misbehave - @evilrussianprincess
The jealous Shane/pathetic top Ilya fic where Shane makes Ilya beg for it
ʚɞ Strip It Down - @inexplicablymine
Shane does a Calvin Klein campaign, Ilya has feelings about it.
ʚɞ seeing stars - @beautifullyblue
Ilya rails Shane into the headboard (literally)
or
Shane gets his bell rung - again.
ʚɞ a drag path, etched in the surface - @justhockey
Ilya starts giving Shane gifts at every opportunity. Shane investigates, and retaliates.
ʚɞ this is not enough (i am not enough) - @/blankjournals
inspired by the fight in the long game when ilya had told shane he could have sex with other men because he did not believe in cheating.
welcome to my directory of all the shane hollander/ilya rozanov stories I love! all writing credit belongs to each individual writer, and if you resonate with any story, make sure to show that author some love on ao3! reader discretion is advised, so be sure to check the warnings.
ʚɞ rabbit holes - @Who_Needs_Reality
if you can't figure out your situationship.... Google him.
ʚɞ we'll be afraid of nothing - @/satorussuguru
He settles for: “You were kind of an asshole.”
ʚɞ I Don't Need Drugs ('Cause I'm Already High Enough) - @lipstickliterature
Shane has an emergency wisdom tooth extraction.
Ilya takes care of him.
ʚɞ and if i didn't know better. - @Joooceee
Ilya wishes on a star. The universe helps it come true.
ʚɞ Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) - @satansliteraryhero
Shane and Ilya's first Halloween as a public couple. It's about as normal as you'd expect.
ʚɞ first-person plural possessive - @oliviacirce
"Sorry, what?" Shane tore his eyes away from Ilya.
Wyatt snorted, amused. "You know you can go over there, right? The days of gazing longingly at each other and hoping nobody notices are behind you, buddy."
ʚɞ Fanning the Flames - @cjr2
Shane and Ilya are granted an opportunity to come out on their own terms. Sort of. And in they do it in a very Ilya way. (Surprisingly, it is Shane’s idea)
ʚɞ fall in love again and again - @galacticsukki
after some team chirping at Shane's expense, Ilya accidentally interrupts a few of his potential dating prospects and then keeps on doing it less than accidentally
ʚɞ home, where my music's playing - @Mathgeek12
The Centaurs stage an intervention.
ʚɞ i'm waiting for it (that green light, i want it) - @sevendawn
Ilya tells Shane not to come until they see each other again in three weeks.
ʚɞ Dialing You (Sorry, Darling You) - @hollano_ov
Shanes works in IT.
Ilya's computer always seems to be fucked up.
ʚɞ My Only Wish is You - @/moonchild1998
Ilya Rozanov has everything he's ever wanted. He has Shane Hollander. What the hell is he supposed to wish for now?
ʚɞ Lessons in PDA - @garden_songs
5 times Shane Hollander makes a conscious effort to publicly display his affection for Ilya Rozanov, and 1 time he doesn't need to think so hard about it.
ʚɞ carve your name into my bedpost - @/dykeries
It was a tough loss in Boston. Shane knows how to make Ilya feel better.
ʚɞ Compatible - @jewelledfoxes
Ilya's blood has always run hotter than Shanes.
Or: Yay Hollanov free use! Everybody cheered!
It seems Ilya fucking Rozanov adheres to a daily schedule of tomfoolery. He’s always finding ways to irritate Shane with the stupidest shit.
ʚɞ the only ones who understood me then - @ygrainette
Ilya introduces Shane and Svetlana, and gets a little more than he bargained for.
ʚɞ all the things he did - @blankjournals
4 times Shane was strict with Ilya and the 1 time he wasn't ft Ilya having an emotional crisis over it.
ʚɞ surrender - @vemod
shane and ilya are roommates and bad at feelings.
ʚɞ layers of honey - @sushiwriter
Once, belied by the notion of a city teeming with other Russians, he spent the day going from bakery to bakery in New York City, trying to find a cake that would even come close. It was the dead of winter, and he blamed any teariness on the way the wind whipped at his face. He ignored texts from everyone but Shane.
ʚɞ Reward - @lovy_shilya
Ilya is injured, but that wasn’t going to stop Shane from getting rewarded for their win.
ʚɞ Wherever I'm with you - @SatsumaSegments
the cottage, Ilya's version: an extended ep 6 featuring my take on what happened in the gaps we didn't see.
ʚɞ without changing a part of me - @gurlsrool
5 times Shane didn’t plan on stealing Ilya’s clothes, +1 time he absolutely did
ʚɞ feel you vanish like sugar into tea. - @Joooceee
5 times Hayden started understanding Shane and Ilya's relationship, and the 1 time he finally told Shane he did.
ʚɞ Together at the Top - @kaijuerotica
It's 2026 and NHL players are finally returning to the Olympics. It's time for a do-over. It's time for redemption. It's time for Hayden Pike to get a fucking break from these losers.
ʚɞ from the cold - @stammiviktor
The Hollanders have a new son to take care of. Ilya has no idea what’s going on.
ʚɞ Cabane à sucre - @bubbleomatic
Harris organises a team field trip to a cabane à sucre — sugar shack — to gather content for the Ottawa Centaurs’ social media. Ilya doesn’t understand why Canadians are so obsessed with maple syrup, but Shane is there to make the weird cultural experience more memorable.
ʚɞ we keep it secret (won't let them have it) - @poppypickle
Five times someone unexpected keeps Shane and Ilya’s secret, and one time they don’t have to. Featuring the Pike twins, Zane Boodram’s pregnant wife, Ilya’s neighbors, and more.
ʚɞ The Shane Hollander Thing - @fandom_commitment_issues
Cliff Marlow has been on Boston’s team with Ilya Rozanov for the last seven years. Last week, he figured out the Shane Hollander thing.
ʚɞ Funny How It Found Us - @tippitytap
The 5 times Shane and Ilya share a domestically boring task together for the first time.
ʚɞ when the sun came up, i was looking at you - @justhockey
a perfect afternoon at the cottage.
ʚɞ death wish - @moubrip
“Barrett, your turn. What did you think of Hollander?”
Troy must have had more to drink than he thought. Or he makes bad decisions without Harris right next to him. Or he must have a death wish. That has to be the reason why he says what he does: “I thought he was a fucking babe.”
ʚɞ Backbone - @Content_Scrapbooker
5 times Ilya Rozanov ruined his Shane Hollander’s “good boy” image & the 1 time he does it himself.
ʚɞ you could never lose me - @virtual_typewriter
after a night out with J.J. and Hayden, Shane wakes up, certain that he has cheated on Ilya. (Spoiler alert: he hasn’t)
ʚɞ where the hell is my husband? - @justhockey
5 times Ilya calls Shane his husband, and 1 time Shane calls Ilya his husband.
ʚɞ you're so pretty when you take control - @Little_White_Lie
But if Shane wanted to try something new, Ilya could indulge him. This was Shane after all, Ilya’s sweet, desperate bottom. What harm could it do? It wasn’t like they didn’t both know how this would end, with Shane face down on the bed, begging for Ilya’s cock.
ʚɞ apply pads (shock now!) - @/blongblong
shane just wants to do his job and ride the ambulance. ilya thinks shane should be riding him, instead.
ʚɞ won't be alone for the rest of my life - @daydreamnelson
ilya basically adopts luca aka the ottawa centaurs found family trope we all need.
ʚɞ Provider - @/Moami
Ilya starts giving Shane gifts at every opportunity. Shane investigates, and retaliates.
ʚɞ Reluctantly supportive - @CherryPieO
Hayden should have known better than to insist that Shane have a drink. Now he's stuck with his best friend drunk and gushing over his asshole boyfriend, while they're waiting for said asshole boyfriend to show up. Best birthday ever.
ʚɞ Over for Dinner - @find_me_in_the_ivy
David and Yuna coming over for dinner after Shane and Ilya's visit. Ilya gets to know Shane's parents and realizes just how much he loves being a part of a family.
ʚɞ Study Habits - @ThePromptWasntThisLong (shredded_potato)
Ilya stares at the screen, realizing Shane has been conducting independent research on how to be the perfect sub for him.
ʚɞ you make it so easy (to fall so hard) - @/brunettereader
five times that Shane loved Ilya in his quiet way, and one time that he loved Ilya loudly.
ʚɞ Ilyusha - @boysquipleurent
Shane decides Ilya should also have a nickname.
Since it's Shane, this quickly becomes the language equivalent of "Started making it, had a breakdown, bon appétit!"
ʚɞ better whip me if i misbehave - @evilrussianprincess
The jealous Shane/pathetic top Ilya fic where Shane makes Ilya beg for it
ʚɞ Strip It Down - @inexplicablymine
Shane does a Calvin Klein campaign, Ilya has feelings about it.
ʚɞ seeing stars - @beautifullyblue
Ilya rails Shane into the headboard (literally)
or
Shane gets his bell rung - again.
ʚɞ a drag path, etched in the surface - @justhockey
Ilya starts giving Shane gifts at every opportunity. Shane investigates, and retaliates.
ʚɞ this is not enough (i am not enough) - @/blankjournals
inspired by the fight in the long game when ilya had told shane he could have sex with other men because he did not believe in cheating.
Hi! Do you have any fic recs of Shane struggling with internalised homophobia, and especially with being a bottom?
Thanks!
Internalized Homophobia
🏒 Questions and Answers | 1.1k
Ilya and Shane admitted their feelings for each other and are officially boyfriends. However, Shane still has some feelings of internalized homophobia and has some questions for Ilya about sexuality. Ilya answers his questions and comforts him.
🏒 Add To Cart | 1.3k
Shane Hollander, who is definitely still straight, attempts to buy a dildo. For research purposes of course.
🏒 not flawed (just a little under-rehearsed) | 1.3k
Shane cannot remember a time when he didn’t think he was broken.
🏒 am i gay? | 1.8k
Shane Hollander takes an "am I gay?" quiz
🏒 I've Been Careless With a Delicate Man | 2.1k
“You can’t have both, Ilya. You can’t make me wear your jersey while you fuck me and..and…and ask me to stay over and buy me dinner and cook me things and ask me to fucking emotionally invest so much with you. Why’d you fucking pursue me back then, huh? You chased me, remember? This wasn’t my fucking fault, it was yours.”
🏒 one of a million | 2.1k
Shane doesn't want to do this. No part of him wants to get out of his car, walk to Hayden's front door, and have this conversation. But he has to - because it’s the right thing to do, because Hayden is his friend, because he’s tired of hiding.
🏒 Wrong For So Many Reasons | 2.6k
Shane and Ilya finally talk about Shane's friendship with Rose. This brings up some unresolved insecurities for Shane
🏒 Impossible, Intimidating, Undeniable | 2.6k
🔒 Shane has a very serious problem after leaving the gym. He deals with it extremely calmly
🏒 Only Then I am Clean | 2.9k
He was a laughing stock. All star Hall of Famer Shane Hollander is in love with another man. Best in the league, a millionaire at twenty, three Stanley Cups, Rookie of the Year, once a well-respected captain. Children all over Montreal wore his name like a branding. What a shame that at the end of the day he goes home to a man. What an embarrassment.
🏒 The To-Don't List | 3.3k
This thing with Rozanov had been going on long enough. Shane hadn't been able to put a stop to it yet, but maybe he could try a new approach. He could write a list: "why this has to be the last time"
🏒 okay, i knew (but. i wouldn't admit it) | 3.4k
that night with Rose comes back to haunt Shane when he least expects it, and leads him to some devastating revelations.
🏒 All the Things He Said (This is Not Enough) | 3.7k
Ilya leaves the club alone but gets a call from Shane in crisis. Shane sleeps with Rose after seeing Ilya at the club and realizes he might be gay. Even though they're not on speaking terms, the only one he has to talk to about it is Ilya.
🏒 Shane Hollander, Pro Level Cowboy | 4.2k
Ilya grapples with top privilege and Shane gets to embrace bottom pride in the locker room.
🏒 Shane Hollander Has a Thing | 4.7k
In which Shane Hollander acquires and uses a thing he can’t bring himself to name.
🏒 wear the costume before it becomes the clothes | 4.7k
the one where Ilya wants to take Shane to pride night, and Shane learns how to cope with his queerness.
🏒 becoming yourself | 5.0k
Shane has a lot of feelings about being gay. A night in New York City, a chance encounter, and a new friend may help him work through them.
🏒 This Is Like Every Hockey Player's Wet Dream | 5.2k
Shane wants to tell Ilya he wants to come out, Ilya goes down in a game - Shane tells him in front of the Centaurs instead.
🏒 Up and Down the Line | 7.8k
🔒 Shane starts having strange dreams. He turns to the women in his life for answers.
🏒 "am i gay quiz" (1,000+ results) | 8.6k
Shane breaks up with his high school girlfriend after the draft. He spends the rest of the summer trying to do anything other than think about Ilya Rozanov. He fails miserably.
🏒 Worth a Shot | 10.8k
An alternate take on Shane's sexuality crisis coming to a head
🏒 dragging you down, down, down | 12.6k
Shane Hollander thinks he's just a straight man with anxiety. His hypnotherapist thinks otherwise and is willing to prove it in every single way.
🏒 Showing Results For | 12.7k
5 times Shane takes an "Am I Gay?" quiz, and 1 time he retakes one.
🏒 diamonds in the dust | 13.2k
in which Yuna and David try to figure out what's going on with their son through the years while trying to be good, supportive, non-overbearing parents.
Sexuality -> Bi/Gay Awakening | Internalized Homophobia | Shane Comes Out AU | Shane Comes Out To Team | Queer Community/Pride | Queer Ilya | Trans Hollanov | TransMasc Shane
Feel free to add in comments or reblogs and I'll add it to the list!
Make sure to check out other fic rec request here -> Requested Lists
Description: You’re spider-man’s closest thing to a friend since the world forgot his name. Helping him with gadgets, cleaning his wounds…all without him ever taking the mask off. His true identity has always been a barrier between you two, but what happens when he gets hit with the pollen, and not only him, but the creature lurking inside him fixates on the only person he gets to call home?
Tags/warnings: sex pollen smut, fem!reader, porn with plot, whiny desperate peter >>>, dry humping, piv, riding, oral fem!rec, fingering, dark!peter taking over for a bit, orgasm denial, prone bone, so much yearning, mask stays on…or does it?
Note: You have no idea how giddy it makes me to write him again. He had NO business looking that good in the movie so I had to get this out of my system. Enjoy 🤍
Masterlist
You've seen spiderman hurt many times. When you signed the lease of the first apartment you could afford as a recent graduate, you never thought that would become your new normal.
The first time it happened was completely accidental. He’d arrived at the building in the middle of the night, bruised, bleeding and too disoriented to realize that the window he’d come through was not his.
That night, the noise of a heavy body collapsing onto the floor woke you up. For one terrifying moment, you believed someone had broken into your apartment, only to switch on the lamp and find the city’s superhero groaning and pressing his hands to his side. His suit was torn there, and blood soaked through the ruined fabric onto your rug.
He barely lifted his head when he heard you gasp, the lens of his mask focusing on your figure standing there with wide eyes, wearing only an oversized shirt.
“Wrong window,” he choked, then tried to hold himself up but immediately collapsed again. “Dammit,” he cursed, waiting for you to freak out any second now.
You could have, but instead you rushed to him and knelt beside him.
“Oh my god, are you okay?” Your hands hovered helplessly over his body, trying to see how bad the damage was in the dark. “You need a hospital–”
“No!” He snapped, trying to turn away but failing miserably. “I’ll be fine, I heal quickly.”
“You still need to stop the bleeding,” you countered, folding your knees under your body so you could rest on your calves. “Listen, I can help you. I took some medical courses last year and I have a kit somewhere.”
You looked at him with pleading eyes. He’d saved the city so many times, the fucking world, it was the least you could do to give something back.
He considered his options for a second, and to be honest he didn’t have many. His body was betraying him, and he couldn’t even get up to fix it himself like usual.
The blood loss made him nod, and you wasted no time in getting up and finding said kit. The blood loss also made him drift in and out of consciousness as you tended to the wounds on his ribs as much as you could.
It did not make him less cautious of you though. When you noticed the rip on his mask over a nasty gash on his neck and reached for it, his hand closed around your wrist and even half conscious, his grip was strong.
“Please,” he whispered. Pleaded. “Keep it on.”
The fear in his voice made you promise you would. Even if you couldn’t get to that gash properly. Even when he fell asleep on your floor and didn’t wake up for six whole hours.
The next morning, he opened his eyes and found you sitting on your bed, still staring at him.
His hands patted his chest, and confirmed his arachnid powers had done its job and healed him mostly. But most importantly, his mask was still in place. With no warning from E.V of it being removed. He learned that you’d spent the night making sure he was still breathing without seeing his face.
That had been one year ago.
After thanking you profoundly for helping him, he’d repaired your window, apologized several times, and disappeared into the apartment next door. He then considered moving into another building, but the thought was brushed away very quickly when he remembered the balance in his bank account.
So he acted more careful instead. For a while, he only turned back home when your curtains were already closed, or he only left the apartment when you had already left for your job (because yes, he absolutely researched the hell out of you after that night.)
Then he moved to the attic of the building. Bigger space, no neighbors, no risks. No you. Or at least he thought.
Because some nights…some delirious nights he still found your window a few stories down, and the accidental visits became less accidental. When he was too badly injured to care for himself, he came to you, even after you confessed your degree had nothing to do with medicine.
When he noticed you understood about his equipment malfunctioning, he’d bring it for you to inspect. When he became too reckless with himself you talked his ear off about how being difficult to kill did not make him immortal.
Somewhere along the way, you became spiderman’s friend.
Spiderman was safer. With you, spiderman was the only part of him he could let you see. Because that was the thing, you only knew the masked superhero.
He’d spent so much time blocking away his identity, making peace with the fact that there was no longer anyone in the world who would call him Peter and know exactly who that person was. That name only belonged to the people that once knew him, and no longer existed, so he never gave it to you.
Never showed you more than a sliver of skin when his mask rode up or glimpses of his abdomen when you tended to his wounds. He always kept that barrier and you respected it, even on those nights he was too weak to stop you. Even if sometimes not knowing the color of his eyes kept you up at night.
A promise was a promise.
Maybe that’s why he kept coming. Why he trusted you with a certainty he couldn’t understand. Why he eventually showed you his new living quarters in the attic and let you spend time with him. Why half a year ago, he added another chair next to his desk so you could work together, or help him when he was out patrolling and needed an extra set of eyes.
“I’m officially the girl in the chair, spidey,” you joked that time as you sat next to him, spinning around in your chair.
He’d gone quiet immediately, his body tensing up enough to make you frown, but then managed a small smile and said you were. You pretended you didn’t notice him being too quiet as he worked on his inhibitor after that.
He was wearing a hoodie, sweatpants and the mask. Always the mask that didn’t quite let you see through him. After a moment of quiet, you rolled your chair closer to his and nudged his arm playfully.
“You know I can’t keep calling you spidey forever, right?”
He snapped out of his trance, and the chuckle that came from under the fabric was unmistakable.
“Why not?” He nudged your arm back, but still focused on the device he was hunched over. “I like spidey.”
You put your elbow on the desk, resting your cheek on your hand so you could lean a little closer.
“I like it too, but it feels ridiculous after having my hands all over your body almost every night.”
The moment the words left your lips, you realized how bad that sounded. He straightened up, turning toward you.
“Wow.” Even if you couldn’t see the smile on his face, the lenses of his mask were quite expressive sometimes. He was amused.
“That came out very wrong,” you said immediately, before he bursted into laughter. He had been laughing more since you entered his life. “You know what I meant,” you whined, laughing too with heat flooding your cheeks.
“I think I know,” he chuckled, making you roll your eyes.
“I’m being serious though,” you added, a little more quietly. “You don’t have to say your real name. Just give me something.”
“Mmm…” he acted like has considering it, going back to tinkering with the piece of metal between his fingers, but then his eyes drifted to the flowers he’d bought that morning, and the name came out of his lips before he could think twice about it. “You can call me Maynard.”
“Maynard?” You repeated, suppressing a chuckle. “You don’t sound like a Maynard. That’s like an 80 year old man’s name.”
“That’s all I can give you,” he shrugged playfully.
You had a feeling it went deeper than that, but you’d also learned not to push it with him.
“Alright. Maynard,” you nodded, “but don’t expect me to use that name unless you’re dying. Guess I’ll stick to spidey for now,” you chuckled, going back to your own work as he hummed in agreement.
The conversation ended there. With him trying not to think about your hands all over his body in…different conditions.
Peter didn’t know exactly when his gratitude became longing. He could not identify the moment the friendship, the closeness, or just your smile, shifted into something he craved everyday.
Despite the mask and the fake name, he knew that after years of being no one to everyone, he had become someone to you. And you had become everything to him. Even if it was behind walls he’d built, you were the person who knew him better than anyone alive.
Which is why, the night he lost control of himself after an unknown dust was thrown at him in a fight, he chose not to crash land into your room.
Peter hit the floor of the dark attic with a loud thud, as his senses went overboard. His suit was sticking to his body uncomfortably due to the sweat coating his feverish skin. The fabric was intact, with no visible wounds in his body, just that burning sensation of something running through his veins.
And that dark part of him he’d managed to lock down with the inhibitor, trying to claw its way out.
“What the…what the fuck is going on,” he cursed, clutching his heaving chest as he panted against the worn wood floors. “I can’t–I can’t breathe…”
The computer’s monotone voice broke through the silence.
“You have arrived injured. I’m letting her know–”
“NO!” He cut the AI off, “EV, don’t tell her–”
“Message already sent.”
He glanced up at the digital clock on his desk. 2:18 am.
He groaned, grabbing his head when a wave of migraine hit him. He knew what came after that. The black eyes. The desire to break. To take. But this time something felt different. It was like a pull, looking for something or someone…for…for you?
Oh fuck.
You were going to come in and you were going to see him like this. No, no–
“Spidey?” You asked from behind the door, knocking exactly twice before opening it anyways.
The air changed the exact moment you walked in, and that something inside him shifted too. It became aware that the only thing it craved to survive was in the room now.
He needed to get to you. He needed to pin you down and–
“Don’t!” He managed to scream, holding his hand up weakly when you scrambled toward him.
You stopped right in your tracks, eyes wide and running all over him, searching for torn fabric, blood, or anything that would explain why he looked like every breath was painful.
“What happened?” You frowned, when you couldn’t find any source. “Did you get hurt?”
You instinctively stepped forward, but he waved his hand in front of him again.
“Stop, stop, stop,” he said quickly, “don’t come any closer.”
The harshness in his voice caught you off guard, but what sealed the deal was him dragging himself further away from you. It was barely more than a clumsy, desperate crawl, but he managed to put a decent distance between you before collapsing against the side of his thrifted couch.
He avoided looking at you. The oversized shirt covering your body, the comfy shorts you were probably wearing, the way your hair looked messy from rolling out of bed as soon as you got EV’s warning even if you had work the next morning.
You stayed right where you were, watching him. His suit had always fit him like it was painted on his skin, but every pant made his chest rise and fall beneath the fabric so violently that you wouldn’t be surprised if it ripped at the seams.
This reminded you too much of the changes that happened in him months ago.
It started with a sharpened temper, then the heightened sensitivity to everything, the black covering his eyes, and moments during patrol when his reactions became simply frightening for someone who had as much strength as he did. But you were supposed to have stopped it.
“Is it the inhibitor?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest, “is it failing?”
“I–I don’t know…I was hit with some dust out there,” he breathed. “I think it’s tampering with it…my head is killing me. Everything is too much.”
You nodded, turning toward the workstation.
“I will check the programming. Just hold on.” Not your best attempt at reassuring him, but he groaned in acknowledgment.
“EV?”
The computer woke when you touched the keyboard, illuminating the dark attic in a wash of blue light.
“Online.”
“Please run a diagnostic on the inhibitor and any possible interference.”
“Beginning diagnostic.”
You waited impatiently for the results, tapping your fingers on the desk while you watched him from the corner of your eye.
Over there, he…he was doing his best trying to breathe.
This obviously wasn't his first time having sensory overload. When the animal tried to take over the human part of him, everything in the city became impossible to escape. Not a single movement, or sound, or simple existence within miles was unnoticed by him.
But this time? The rest of the city had disappeared. There were no sirens in the distance, or voices coming through the walls, or every heartbeat in the building pounding in his head.
There was only you.
Your rapid heartbeat echoing inside him. He felt every tap of your fingers against the wood, every slight catch in your breathing each time he made another involuntary and pathetic sound from his spot on the floor.
Your scent…God, your scent filled the entire apartment.
The scent he found himself coming back to so often that it scared him. He didn’t want the attachment. The possibility of having someone again only to risk losing them again.
That same scent was making every muscle in his body react in a way he didn’t understand. It made him, and the other him, wanna do things to you he had only dreamed of in his wildest fantasies. Things he wasn’t proud of, things he wouldn’t dare to say out loud, even if he looked at you through the lenses of his mask and you couldn’t see the black in his eyes.
He pressed the back of his head against the couch harshly.
This was wrong. So wrong.
His senses were supposed to consume everything when the change came. Instead, they had fixed themselves entirely on you.
He could feel the heat of your body from across the room as though you were still in front of him. Could remember with sickening detail how soft your hands looked when they reached for him. Could almost feel the burn of the touch that had never landed because he stopped you.
What if he’d let you? What if he’d felt the way your hands ran all over his body? What if you’d moved them lower, and lower, as your mouth–
“Diagnostic complete.”
Your heads snapped toward the screen.
“There’s no external damage affecting the integrity of the device. I detected a foreign biotoxin in the bloodstream that may be bypassing the inhibitor, activating the suppressed arachnid hormones.”
“What biotoxin?” You frowned.
“Unknown. No matches found in available databases.”
Great. He thought. He had no time to take a bath with Yelena Belova to find out what the stupid dust was.
Tiny, microscopic potato, she would say.
The screen changed, displaying a model of his nervous system. There were yellow bright lines pulsing quickly, running all the way from the base of his brain down the length of his spine. Something unknown was moving through his blood, altering the part of him he had spent months forcing into submission.
He sucked in a breath as he watched you read the screen. Your eyes were focused, and a bead of sweat made its way down the side of your forehead.
He suddenly felt the need to lick it off.
Wanted to run his tongue from the base of your neck to the back of your ear. Wanted to fist your hair and make your heart beat out of your chest from how good he knew he could make you feel–
“The effects remain within his enhanced tolerance. However, prolonged exposure to certain hormones can cause extreme distress without relief.”
“What hormones?” Your voice, worried and unknowing of his thoughts only made him feel guiltier.
It took him a second to realize what you asked, but EV threw him under the bus before he could say anything.
“There’s a significant rise in reproductive hormones. The unknown toxin is inducing a strong mating response in him.”
Mating response. He stopped breathing.
Your eyes slowly moved from the monitor to him, and he saw the moment your attention dropped lower to the tent of his pants.
That suit concealed nothing on a good day. On one like this? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck–
He shifted almost immediately, but the movement only worsened the pressure, pulling a helpless groan from his throat that made your pulse jump. You looked away at once, turning back to the computer.
“Is there a way we can…umm…stop it?” You asked hesitantly.
“The subject is experiencing severe sexual arousal with a fixation on a nearby individual,” she explained, because fuck him if he wasn’t the unluckiest individual on earth. “Acting upon it can be a positive option to relieve sexual tension.”
He wished the floor would open beneath him, swallow him, and never ever EVER spit him back out again.
Your pulse was absolutely hammering after that. He caught the sudden change in your scent. There was a sharp spark of surprise, nervousness, and something else beneath it that his altered senses fed on immediately.
You kept your eyes fixed on the monitor, although the data had stopped meaning anything the moment you heard fixation on a nearby individual.
“Is that what you really feel?” You asked softly after a moment.
His head fell forward, catching it between his gloved hands. He didn’t know how to answer without making everything worse.
Although, after what EV said, could it really be worse?
“…Yes.” The word came out rougher than he expected. Yet still not enough for what was happening inside him. “It’s like…I can only feel you. All of you.”
Heat rose to your face once again.
“What does that mean?”
Don’t say anything, don’t–
“I can smell you.” Great start, idiot. He cleared his dry throat before continuing. “I can smell your shampoo…the lotion you use…the ink on your hands from your favorite pen.”
He chose not to mention he could also smell the adrenaline on you. The heat gathering slowly beneath your skin.
Your eyes dropped to your hands, and under the dim light of the computer, you caught the ink stains in them from your journaling session before bed.
“I can hear your heartbeat changing every time I speak,” he added. Okay, that one slipped out.
You swallowed. And god, he felt that in his own throat.
The suit was suffocating him at this point. He wanted to rip it off as much as he wanted to rip off the fabric covering the goosebumps on your skin.
“Is it only because I’m nearby?” You asked, gathering the courage to turn your chair to him.
White lenses met you across the room. He dragged in another shaky breath of oxygen made of you as he thought about his next words. He could’ve lied. He should’ve lied. But instead, chemically overwhelmed and stripped of every defense he possessed, he gave you the truth.
“No.”
His voice was firmer this time. No hesitation in it despite the thousand red alarms pounding in his head telling him to shut up.
“It picked you–no, I picked you for a reason,” he added. “And it’s not just me. The other…the other me wants you too.”
His voice went lower on the last part, that told you how much it cost him to admit that.
The silence following his confession was heavy. For a moment he wished he could read your mind. For all he could feel of you, your thoughts were unreachable.
His own mind was a mess. The impulses didn’t feel like thoughts anymore, just his body feeding him instructions.
Get up. Cross the room. Touch her. Breathe her in.
His palms shook with the urge to close around you. His teeth ached with the need to graze your skin. His eyes burned with the desire to see beyond fabric.
Every part of him seemed convinced that the small distance between you was a mistake he needed to correct. That he needed to breathe you in until his lungs burned. Drag his mouth along the inside of your wrist and taste the pulse there.
He hated it.
He hated that something inside him could look at the person he cared for the most and reduce her to an answer for his pain.
“EV, how long is this state going to last?” He asked the computer, followed by a weak cough as he clutched his side.
“Your enhanced physiology is struggling to break down the toxin’s structure. I estimate a time between ten to twelve hours before it’s metabolized. However, neurological collapse is expected before that timeframe.”
“What?” You looked at him. “There’s no way we’re letting that happen. Maybe I can–”
“Don’t even start,” he cut you off, shaking his head profusely.
“So what? I’m supposed to sit here betting on whether your body collapses on hour three or hour six?”
“I’ll just pass out, big deal. I’m not putting you in danger because of this. I can handle it.”
“You’re barely handling it now. There’s no danger in trying–”
“You don’t understand what’s happening inside me right now,” he argued, raising his voice. “This other thing, the one the inhibitor controls it’s…awake. That part of me doesn’t think like I do. It doesn’t care if you're scared, or hurting–”
“You wouldn’t hurt me–”
“You don’t know that!” He snapped, his fist struck the floor next to him, hard enough to make the worn wood crack beneath his knuckles.
The sudden noise made you flinch. He smelled the flash of fear moving through your body for only a second.
One second enough.
“Fuck–that is what I mean,” he cursed, covering his lenses with his hands. “I don’t…I don’t know if I’d be gentle. I can’t risk this, I can't…shit, I can’t risk you.”
The words, said with so much pain, and honesty, seemed to settle somewhere deep in your chest.
“Okay,” you nodded, settling deeper in your chair. “But I’m not leaving you like this. I can’t risk you either.”
He shuddered a painful exhale. His head dropped to the couch again, shutting his eyes in preparation of what the next hours of torture would be.
Except…he didn’t even last ten minutes.
The suit was killing him, so he decided he’d be better without it. He reached desperately behind his back, clumsily undoing the zippers that tied the suit together.
He could feel your wide eyes on him as he tugged the fabric off his shoulders, peeling it off his sweaty arms. He groaned when he lifted his hips and the suit grazed his swollen crotch. In a matter of seconds that felt like eternity he managed to break free from the spandex, and threw it away somewhere in the room. He’d undressed down to his dark boxers, mask still in place, revealing the marble sculpture of his body.
You let out a shaky breath from your spot, eyes raking over a body you’d only seen partially. He was covered in wounds most of the time, but this time, he only had faint bruises from the night before decorating his chiseled abs.
His tight muscles flexed with every rise of his chest, his bulge straining harder the more you devoured him, pressing against his pants, making him curse quietly.
You noticed, and returned your eyes to the screen to track his vitals.
He felt grateful that you’d given him that grace, but just you being in that room made it very hard for him to think of anything other than your existence.
Too hard.
Before he knew his hand drifted down the growing ache in his crotch, trying to feel some relief, but every rub he made over the fabric of his boxers sent a jolt of pain through his body instead of pleasure.
It only made it worse when he realized you were tense at the desk, trying very hard to keep your focus on the screen and not on the whines he was letting out.
“…I’m sorry,” he apologized instantly, breathlessly, moving his hand away. “I didn’t–”
“Don’t apologize,” you shook your head quickly, eyes still on the screen. “You…you can do whatever you need.”
He didn’t say anything, just whined in pain again, so you took it as a chance to say it before you regretted it.
“But my offer still stands, spidey.”
What a polite way of saying ‘I’d let you fuck me into next week so you can control your horny arachnid hormones, spidey.’
Fucking hell.
“I’m okay I just–God I didn’t–I didn’t think it would feel this way…” He laughed humorlessly, staring at the ceiling. “But I–I got this. Yes.”
You kept quiet, hearing him mumble to himself about a hundred times about how he had this.
“I’m okay…I’m good…it’s fine…”
He wasn’t.
“Fuck I don’t…I’m going to die…”
For God’s sake.
“I think I can help.”
By the time he registered the words and looked back at you, you had already moved from your chair and shortened the distance between you, kneeling in front of him.
His senses went from one thousand to one million. He forced his hands behind his back, trying to keep the animal from grabbing you and getting it over with.
“What–what are you doing?” He stammered nervously, the lenses of his mask going wide.
“Maynard,” you said quietly, ignoring the way his body tensed up at that name. “Would it make you feel better if I put my hand here?”
You placed your hand right in the center of his chest, and your cold palm met his overheated skin. He gasped, feeling every individual fingerprint on his skin. He wanted them marked on him. Tattooed.
His back arched from the couch, with a strangled gasp breaking from beneath the mask. The relief hit him all at once, through a simple contact that felt like salvation.
Your hand steadied him for only a glorious second, but now that you had touched him, his body knew precisely what it had been denied.
It wanted more.
His own hand closed around yours so suddenly that you almost pulled back, but he loosened his grip the instant he realized how tightly he was holding you.
“Sorry–”
“Don’t apologize.” You pressed harder.
He was burning.
The heat beneath your palm scared you, but what scared you more was the violent pounding of his heart beating against your hand so so quickly.
“Better?” You asked quietly, trying not to bite your bottom lip at the image of him crumbling under your palm.
“So fucking better,” he said breathlessly, pressing your hand tighter against his chest. “I…dammit–”
“Breathe,” you reminded.
His head fell back against the couch. Chest rising up and down, up and down, up and down.
Just take her, man, she’s right there–
Your free hand accidentally brushed his neck, right where the border of the mask started, snapping him right back. He grabbed your hand, not harshly, but firm enough to make your breath hitch.
“Please.” Was all he said.
Leave it on.
It brought you back to that first night he’d crashed into your life.
“I wasn’t planning on removing it,” you whispered, leaning closer. “You can keep it on. But let me help you…I really want to.”
See? She wants it. She needs it so bad.
He hated that the other guy was right. He knew you meant what you said because he could smell the proof pooling between your thighs.
Fuck it.
In a sudden movement he reached for your waist, dragging you forward so you were straddling his lap. The bulge you landed on made you gasp, hands instinctively grabbing onto his sweaty biceps for balance when he let out a broken groan that vibrated against your core.
His hand cupped your jaw, bringing it closer to his face, and your dilated pupils reflected on the white of his lenses.
“I can feel that you want this,” he mumbled, tilting his head to the side. “Please, say it again…”
You shifted your hips, barely, so minimal yet he felt it travel through his whole body. He hissed, tightening the grip on your jaw.
“I want this,” you repeated firmly, moving your head closer to his ear. “You can take whatever you need…”
You moved your hips again, more deliberate this time, pulling a broken whine from him. The toxin made every contact feel like electricity racing down his spine, straight to the heavy, aching weight of his cock under you.
“Yes…yeah just like that…” he panted. “Just let me…”
His hands landed on your waist, moving you back and forth at a quicker pace over his bulge. You gasped at the friction, fingers digging into his shoulders, while he let out a collection of muffled words you could barely understand.
“...M–more…” he whined, throwing his head back against the couch. “I can’t–I need…”
“What do you need? More what?”
“More contact.”
His hands left your waist to grab the hem of your shirt.
“Can I?” He whispered.
You nodded eagerly, gasping when his hands shifted to the collar of your shirt instead, ripping it off your body with a sharp pull.
“Oh fuck,” he cursed when he realized there was nothing under that shirt, and saw your nipples hardening instantly under the cold air.
He resisted the urge to bite them through the mask.
His hands, however, wasted no time to cup your breasts with a broken whine. His thumbs played with your nipples, tugging at them as hard as he could allow himself to without hurting you.
“Fuck you’re perfect…you’re so perfect…” he whispered, more to himself than you, pulling some soft whimpers out of you when he tugged a little harder. His hands drifted to your lower half, to the hem of the last piece keeping your body from his greedy eyes. “These too,” he said, “please, can I? I want to feel you.”
“Yes,” you nodded, already out of air.
You didn’t even know why you tried to get off his lap to take the shorts off properly, when he just did the same as the shirt: ripped it in half where it rested on your hips, yanked it off from your body and threw the ruined pieces far away.
You weren’t wearing anything underneath.
“I can smell you. God, I can smell you. You’re so–oh God…”
Now he could feel your wetness drenching his boxers, dripping onto the fabric. He could almost taste it in his mouth. He wanted nothing more than to drown in it for hours.
“Can–can I–?”
You didn’t even let him finish, you grabbed his hand and placed it right between your legs.
Water. He found water in the middle of the dessert.
His hand moved carefully through your wet folds once, twice, delighting in your warmth, the way you felt, the way you let out the prettiest sound he had ever heard in his miserable life.
“Fuck…” you cursed softly, moving your hips eagerly when he kept stroking slow. Too slow. “Touch me, please.”
He obliged, fingers finding your clit in movements that had you gripping his shoulders tighter, eyes fluttering shut so beautifully he had to bite his lip to not let out a pathetic sound.
“Been wanting this,” he mumbled. “Longer than today. Longer than tonight.”
His finger slid inside of you, making you moan when he curled it just right.
“There were…there were nights I thought about you riding my hand,” he kept going, voice cracking as he added a second finger, stretching you more. “I’ve wanted you for so long–not just because of this shit in my blood. Because it’s you.”
Every word made you clench around his fingers. Every admission pulled another shaky moan out of your throat. You were a mess already, breathless, hips rolling down to meet the thrust of his fingers.
“Oh my God–don’t stop, please don’t stop–”
“Not stopping, baby.”
He kept working you open, the white lenses of the mask never leaving your face. His free hand slid up your chest, settling between your breasts.
“I’m–I’m close,” you managed. “I’m so close–”
“Come on…you’re perfect. You’re so fucking perfect like this.”
The heel of his palm lifted to press against your clit. You were right there, right on the edge, about to come on his hand and drip down his boxers–
“Please,” he begged, unable to keep it in. “Let me fuck you after this…please. I need to be inside you. I’ve needed it for so long–just let me, after you come, please, please–”
The plea undid you.
You came with a broken cry, stopping your movements as your walls pulsed around him. The sound you made against his shoulder nearly finished him right there.
It took you a second to just breathe again, your chest synching up with his in the search of oxygen. He kept rocking his hand slowly, not just to work you through the aftershocks, but because the friction of your pussy in his hand brought the tiniest relief to him.
You just stayed there as the last soft waves rolled through you.
Once you were able to see clearly again, you let out a breathless chuckle and straightened back up.
He needed you. He needed you so badly you really thought he was going to die if you didn’t help him.
You placed one hand on his chest as the other reached under you, slipping inside the fabric of his boxers without breaking eye contact.
The second your bare fingers brushed him, his hips jerked hard under you.
“You said please,” you whispered breathlessly.
You wrapped your fingers around him and pulled him free.
His cock sprang out, heavy and flushed between your bodies, so thick and hard and painful. The head was red and shiny, with precum dripping down the vein that ran along his length. The tip brushed the skin of your stomach, leaving a warm, wet patch that made the hair on your arms go up. He could smell the small flicker of intimidation sparking inside you, but the want that followed was stronger.
You stroked him a few times, slowly just as he’d touched you at first.
“Oh my God, your hand–your hand–”
Another thick bead of precum welled up and spilled over your fingers. Whether it was the toxin or just his enhanced physiology, he was dripping for you.
Flustered wasn’t enough of a word when you had his leaking cock in your hand.
His hands slid down to your hips, gripping tighter, guiding you up as if he was about to lift you then pulling you back down immediately.
Fuck her. Fuck her right now.
“Please, I need–I need to feel you…” he cried out. “Let me…let me…”
You nodded just as desperately, lifting yourself up as he helped, steadying you with shaking hands until the thick head of his cock nudged against your entrance. You both exhaled hard at the same time when you started to sink down, taking him inch by inch.
He was big. Almost too much. The burn of it made your breath hitch, but the way he cursed under his breath multiple times, completely at your mercy, made you keep going until he was buried balls deep.
You sat there for a moment, breathing heavily, and so full of him.
When the initial sting faded away, you started moving. He let you set the pace as you adjusted, holding back his need of thrusting up. His fingers dug on your skin, not lifting just holding you, but the more that you moved, the more that control started to waver.
He could feel it coming. The change.
You kept moaning, bouncing on top of him, completely unaware of his self restraint crumbling away.
His grip slowly tightened when his eyes began turning completely black under his mask. That careful, pathetic boy who’d been begging disappeared beneath something more…primal.
Fuck. Whatever had been holding him back finally snapped.
The next thing he knew, his hands slid under your thighs with sudden strength. He lifted you up in one motion until only the thick head of him remained inside you, held you there for a second as the last part of him tried to remember how to be gentle–then snapped his hips up hard.
That first thrust pulled a sharp moan out of you, but there was no chance to adjust this time. He set a relentless pace almost immediately, using pure strength to bounce you on his cock while he drove up to meet every drop of your body, buried so deep it stole your breath every time he bottomed out.
“Oh my–May…Maynard–” the name you barely used on him slipped out in the middle of the frenzy, but his hand reached behind your head to pull your hair back slightly as he kept thrusting up.
“Don’t call me that,” he snapped, his voice so different from just minutes earlier. “It’s Peter. Call me Peter when I’m inside you.”
He didn’t even give you time to process, still lifting and dropping you onto his cock at the exact hard rhythm he wanted. The only one that satisfied the need inside of him. Your hands instinctively reached for the edge of the arm of the couch he was leaning against, fingers digging into the worn fabric as he hit that spot inside you over and over again.
“Of fuck…Peter–fuck…yes…”
“That’s better,” he approved. “I was right, you’re so so perfect…taking every inch like you need it as bad as I do…”
A desperate sound slipped out of you at the praise, he could feel your walls clenching tight around him as your body went for that second orgasm, your eyes were fluttering shut, almost there–
“Nuh–uh,” he denied immediately, stopping mid thrust, holding you pressed against him as you gasped, surprised and confused.
“What–what happened? I was about to–”
“I want you to hold it for me. I know you can.”
That twisted part of him enjoyed the slow realization on your face.
Even if you couldn’t see his eyes, you knew the same spiderman he’d been without the inhibitor, was the one with your body at his mercy now.
Good.
He stayed buried to the hilt for a moment, breathing hard behind the mask. When your breathing finally slowed down and accepted that the high never came, he stood up. Still inside you, he walked you to the bed in the corner of the room.
His bed.
He pulled out with a wet sound that made both of you groan, then laid you down roughly near the edge of the mattress. He kneeled down, strong hands hooking behind your knees and dragging your legs over his shoulders, folding you open for him completely.
“Look at the ceiling,” he ordered. “Don’t look at me.”
You obeyed, staring up at the wood beams high above you while he tugged the bottom of the mask just high enough to free his mouth.
Peter leaned down and pressed a few soft kisses to your swollen folds. He wasn’t necessarily eating you out, just giving a few loud smooches that felt good enough to make you grip the sheets.
“M’sorry, you were so perfect there…” he mumbled condescendingly against your most sensitive spots. “But I need you to hold on a little longer. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?”
You nodded, eyes still fixed on the ceiling. Maybe too eager. Maybe too pathetic. Just like he’d been. Had he pumped that toxin into you?
Either way, you didn’t care. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t like this version of him.
He laughed right over your clit when you moaned loudly, after he moved his tongue in a slow, torturous swipe over it.
“Was back there too much?” He cooed. “Maybe I just need to stretch you more...”
Two fingers slid inside you, so easily, but the sudden stretch still dragged a whine out of your throat. He curled them immediately, finding the spot that made your hips jerk.
“Peter…”
“Huh?” He acted coy, pumping his fingers with a rhythm that kept you right on the edge without letting you tip over. He added a third finger, making your back arch from the mattress. “Keep holding it in.”
Every shake of your body fed the stupid toxin inside him. Having you like this…really trying to keep your body from coming apart because he said so.
God. He was never going back.
“You just took my cock. I think you can take three fingers with no problem.”
He kept the same relentless pace, chuckling when your body started twitching again.
“Shhh, you’re perfect, absolutely perfect…”
“Peter…” you called out again, hand dropping the sheet to find his shoulder instead. “I need…need…”
“Need what?”
“Need you inside me…please I won’t–I won’t hold for much longer just–fuck me.”
He stopped altogether, a smirk you couldn’t see stretching the corner of his mouth. He pulled his fingers out with a wet pop, licking them clean before tugging his mask back in place and standing up.
“Yeah?”
Your legs dangled off the edge of the bed for a moment before his hands gripped your hips and turned you over. He moved you higher up the bed, grabbing one of the pillows, and shoving it under your hips, tilting your lower body up for him.
He then climbed onto the bed behind you and knelt between your spread thighs, the mattress dipping under his weight as one hand stroked down the length of your spine.
But something made him stop.
“This fucking mask–” he cursed under his breath. “It’s suffocating me.”
The sweat on his forehead had pooled under the mask, making it so sticky over his eyebrows that it was affecting the lenses he was trying to see you through.
“I need you to be a good girl for me,” he added breathlessly, yet still commanding enough. “Keep your head on the mattress. Ass up. Don’t turn around.”
You nodded. Too eagerly again. Couldn’t care any less again.
He didn’t think twice, just yanked the mask off and tossed it aside. It landed near you, making you bury half your face on the sheets as if staring at the mask alone would be disobeying his commands.
The sound he made when the cool air hit his face was pure relief. He swiped the sweat off with his forearm, finally seeing you clearly. Face down. Eyes squeezed shut. Already clutching the sheets.
“You look so pretty like this,” he mumbled. “All spread out for me…waiting.”
“Peter…” you whined, lifting your ass slightly from the pillow.
“I know, I know. You’re okay.” He couldn’t keep the smirk away when he added, “you said please.”
He reached between you, guiding the thick head of his cock between your thighs until it nudged against your entrance. You were still soft and ready and perfect.
Peter pushed in slowly, letting you feel every inch as he sank deep and deep and deeper.
He braced one hand beside your head and kept the other on your hip, pushing you into the mattress as his thighs hit the back of yours. Slap. Slap. Slap. The position left almost no space between your bodies, with Peter pressing his chest against your back.
“Fuck…you feel so good like this…so pretty taking me.”
He kept going, making the mattress creak and the base of the bed hit the brick wall repeatedly. Your desperate moans ran through his body like electricity, making something inside him crack open again.
What? What is–
The moment his rhythm stuttered, he shook his head, trying to clear it. Beads of sweat flew from his hair to your back.
“God–you…you’re making me–” The roughness of his thrusts slowed down immediately, inhaling a sharp intake of air as he felt the change again. “I can’t, I can’t…”
He lifted his gaze to the window behind the bed and noticed his eyes had turned back to its original color.
“Oh my god,” he gasped, stopping altogether. He straightened up, still kneeling and inside you, but panicking. “I’m…I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened I–“
“Peter!” You cut him off, pushing yourself back, closer to him, without turning around. “Shut up and fuck me.”
The order left your mouth breathless, pushing back against him even more to make the point clear. His hands twitched when they gripped your hips again.
“Okay, okay…” he panted, groaning when you dropped back on the bed and his cock almost left the warmth of your pussy. “I’m sorry–if I was too rough, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”
He picked up the pace again, but the words tumbling out of him now were pure pleading Peter again.
“Don’t turn around–don’t turn around–fuck, fuck…” slap, slap, slap. “You can come now. Please. Please, I want to feel it–you’d come apart so pretty on me, I know you would…pleasepleaseplease–”
His final permission and the desperate way he said it made you crash harder than the first time, crying out into the mattress. The second he felt you coming around him, he knew he couldn’t last much longer either.
“Can I–inside…please, can I??…let me fill you up–”
“Yes–inside, Peter, do it inside me…”
He buried himself to the hilt with a strained groan and finally came. The orgasm tearing out of him was harder and longer than anything he’d ever felt, holding you there, filling you up.
You gasped against the sheets, breathless, as the waves of cum seemed to go on forever, flooding you with warm and thick ropes in every spurt as he emptied himself inside you.
“Thank you…thank you…” His forehead dropped between your shoulder blades, sending broken gasps against your skin as he kept coming. “You are so perfect–fuck…so perfect…thank you…”
The pollen wrung him dry until he could barely breathe, and even then he kept rolling his hips weakly, chasing the last of it while he slowly softened inside you.
When it finally eased, the pain, the need, the hunger…he pulled out slowly with a whine, and half collapsed over you. His arms held most of his weight as he planked above you, but you could feel every ridge of his muscles brushing your sweaty skin.
Peter’s eyes fluttered shut, feeling exhausted and aching in the best way, almost lulled by the sounds of your agitated breaths.
You both felt the warm trail of liquid leaking out between your bodies and neither of you moved or said anything for a while. He could’ve stayed like that forever, really. With your naked body under him, no masks, no barriers, just your swollen pussy leaking out his seed–
“Successful ejaculation brought down the arachnid hormone levels immediately. Inhibitor working within regular parameters now. Congratulations, Peter.”
EV’s monotone voice cut through the silence.
It took two seconds of shock before you both broke into breathless laughter. His teeth grazed your back as your bodies vibrated in sync from the amusement and overall flustering after everything that happened.
“Thank you, EV,” Peter muttered.
“You’re welcome. I gathered data and the released semen volume exceeds standard parameters by two hundred and twenty six percent due to the high hormonal concentration. Hydration, clean up and rest are advised.”
“For fucks sake…” Peter cursed under his breath.
“Oh god…” you mumbled against the sheets.
That was your call back to reality.
Peter felt you move under him, reaching blindly to the side until your hand found the mask. You lifted it over your shoulder, offering it to him without looking.
“I don’t want to,” he said, too quickly, then cleared his throat. “I…I don’t want to put it back on.”
“Then I’ll close my eyes,” you offered instead.
“No–I mean…you don’t have to. I don’t want to wear it around you anymore. Not after…all of this,” he admitted sheepishly.
“But you told me to not turn around,” you reminded him, dropping the mask on the mattress again. “And that was you, not the darker you.”
He chuckled, nodding even if you couldn’t see him yet.
“Yeah, because if I saw your face while I was balls deep inside you I would’ve busted before you came.”
There it was. He said it. No turning back now.
At least it got a chuckle from you too.
“Listen I…I meant everything I said. Everything. The wanting, the nights I thought about you,” he confessed. “I don’t want you to feel like I just used you when…when there was always a reason why I needed you like oxygen tonight.”
Your breath hitched, and his hand found your waist, pulling you closer to him, and when you didn’t push away…he exhaled in relief behind you.
“So maybe…you can turn around now. If–if you want to. Know the real me.”
“I would really like that,” you whispered without hesitation.
You tried lifting yourself up to turn around, but he did most of the job, moving away the pillow he had placed under you and helping you roll onto your back. You closed your eyes, at least until you were facing him completely, and took a deep breath. Holding onto his biceps for moral support, you finally opened them again.
Seeing his face for the first time felt so intimate, even after everything you just did.
There he was. The same guy who just fucked you into next week, looking more shy and boyish than you could’ve ever imagined.
Brown eyes. Dark, curly hair sticking to his forehead. A nervous smile tugging at the corner of his gorgeous mouth.
So young. So earnest. So yours.
Not spidey anymore. Just Peter.
Your Peter.
Thank you so much for reading 🤍 I used to write Peter so much back in the day (shoutout to my starktonyx era) and I’ve missed him dearly.
hiiiii any recs of hollanov being together and out since rookie season? it’s something i’ve been thinking about but any ones i find are of them being in a relationship but it’s still being a secret!
Hmm I don't think there is too many on this, but I still went ahead and made a list. Hopefully it'll grow as more stories are being written. You can also check out my Drafted to Same Team list because this might have something similar.
Early Relationship Start
🏒 when I think about you (I touch myself) | 4.4k
After becoming best friends their last year of high school, Shane and Ilya promise they will see each other every year for a group boys' trip. A decade later, in Vegas, Ilya walks in the hotel room he shares with Shane and finds the shower immediately. That is because it is smack dab in the middle of the room. What ensues is the resolution of 10 years of pining.
🏒 the world in my arms | 4.5k
In the first year that they're hooking up, Shane goes into subdrop as Ilya is leaving. Somehow, this is the best thing that ever happened for their relationship.
🏒 We Keep This Love In A Photograph | 5.1k
Entering an actual relationship near the very beginning of when they first meet, Shane is still paranoid about pictures of them getting shared so Ilya buys him a Polaroid camera instead to document their relationship all the way back from 2012. The only problem is that he never intended for Yuna to find the album.
🏒 The Coast Is Not Clear | 8.2k
Shane lies, that first night, to keep Rozanov to himself a little longer. The changes spiral out from there.
🏒 Lily Hearts Jane | 15.9k
Ilya gets a tattoo. Shane is very calm about it.
🏒 From His Lips To God's Ears | 17.3k
: Instead of just hooking up at the CCM shoot, Shane and Ilya start a serious relationship the summer before their rookie season. They are not public about their relationship, but Ilya sees no reason to lie when people ask him what he thinks of his biggest rival. Maybe it’s the Russian accent, though, because for some reason, everyone thinks he's joking.
🏒 Code 8124 | 19.0k
Ilya shows up at Shane’s Montreal apartment for one of their regularly scheduled hookups. He intercepts a home intruder hurting Shane.
🏒 The Early Days | 34.4k
What if Shane and Ilya had much more explicit yearning and wanting at their first International Prospect Cup in Winter 2008 and at the draft in Summer 2009? What if this builds and builds to them hooking up for the first time at their second International Prospect Cup in winter 2009 instead of waiting until 6 months later at the CCM shoot? (They are both still 18+!!!) What if there's a blizzard and Shane and Ilya have to share a hotel room? What if they were super super soft lil love sick guys? What if they hook up again at the CCM shoot?
🏒 I Wanna Be Somebody To Someone (Someone To You) | 36.1k
the fic where Ilya and Shane get married in 2014 and Ilya is forced to care about Scott when he's traded to New York in 2016. So he noticed things. And he's there, on the ice, when Scott kisses Kip for the whole world to see.
🏒 I Keep You Safe | 40.0k
One moment, he was on the gym floor not staring at Rozanov's gorgeous sweaty body. Then Shane was standing up, but his legs were weak for some god forsaken reason and Rozanov was there, just an arm around his waist to keep him upright, and now...
🏒 Team Building Activities | 41.1k
What if Shane and Ilya had been drafted to the same team and fell in love as teammates instead of rivals? Shane and Ilya are both drafted to the Minnesota Nomads. What begins as new teammates building a friendship slowly deepens into a quiet, intense love neither of them expected.
🏒 The Game Plan | 64.0k
No one will ever suspect, let alone find out, that the NHL’s greatest rivals are secretly married. And there’s certainly no risk of feelings getting involved. They have a game plan.
🏒 The Ten Step Plan | 95.7k
Thanks to Shane's small lie the first time they hooked up, Shane and Ilya are together years earlier. Now, they have to figure out what to do about it.
🏒 There Is No Heart For Me Like Yours | 154k
Ilya Rozanov has been drafted by Boston, the number one pick overall, but his father doesn't want him moving to America and so takes steps to block his visa. He's going to have to go back to Russia and stay there forever and that, thinks Shane Hollander, is wrong. It's so wrong that Shane can't stop himself from doing something about it. Even though that something is the most reckless, the only reckless thing he's ever done in his life. He marries Rozanov in secret, to keep him out of Russia and put him on a path to Canadian citizenship. Shane's got a five-year plan to get him there and when you have a plan nothing can go wrong. Right? Right. When you have a solid plan and a marriage that's on paper only there's no risk of feelings getting involved. Not on Rozanov's part and certainly not on Shane's.
🏒 Frequently, Secretly Fond Of Each Other | 222k
A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.
🏒 From His Lips to God's Ears | WIP
Instead of just hooking up at the CCM shoot, Shane and Ilya start a serious relationship the summer before their rookie season. They are not public about their relationship, but Ilya sees no reason to lie when people ask him what he thinks of his biggest rival. Maybe it’s the Russian accent, though, because for some reason, everyone thinks he's joking.
🏒 Rookie Season | WIP
Shane and Ilya actually did fall in love and acknowleged their feelings during their rookie season and how it all went up and down hill from there.
Feel free to add in comments or reblogs and I'll add it to the list!
Make sure to check out other fic rec requests here -> Requested Lists
Relationship Status -> 2017 Break Up Rewrite | Boyfriend Era Pt. 1 | Boyfriend Era Pt.2 | Breaking Up & Making Up | Cheating w/ Each Other | Different First Meet | Early Relationship | Exes to Lovers | Fake/Pretend Relationship | Getting Back Together | Getting Together Later In Timeline | Married Hollanov Pt 1 | Married Hollanov Pt 2 | Married Hollanov Pt 3 | Pre-Relationship | Situationship Era
The Favourite Son | Teen | 8.2k | by @hellyeahheistbooks
Sometimes, knowing that despite having worked so hard for success and approval and perfection, your parents may not be joking when they say they prefer your husband, hurts in a way you don't know what to do about.
at your service | Mature | 18.1k | by @penandinkprincess
Losing your team and your captaincy and the approval of the general public fucking sucks, and its hard to hide how much it hurts. Maybe its too hard to hide, even from a service dog that failed training, definitely from your husband who knows the firsthand benefits of getting a dog.
he turns off the big light | Mature | 9.1k | by @gurlsrool
Maybe you think your long time situationship has autism, maybe you tell him to consider getting diagnosed. Have you told him this doesn't mean he's weak? Does he know that?
we'll be afraid of nothing | Teen | 8.0k | by satorussuguru
Shane knows he's strange, he isn't oblivious to what people think of him. Still, it hurt, knowing that Ilya thinks he's strange too, the way a punch you know is coming still manages to surprise you upon impact.
Such a Pretty Crier | Teen | 10.6k | by Bruja_oscura
Sometimes when everything else is spiraling out of control, restricting the amount of food he eats and blocking off the world is the only thing that makes him feel like he still some power over his own life. Unfortunately he's not yet added Ilya to this equation.
I have discovered the genius idea of using a screen reader to listen to HEATED RIVALRY fic while doing my chores or putting a puzzle together. There is seriously nothing like listening to Shane Hollander getting absolutely railed while I'm putting away laundry and sweeping the floors. It's what he would want. In my defense, I had to start doing this because the amount of absolutely incredible fic in this fandom is so insane that I can't keep up with it and definitely not because I have a fic addiction problem. I don't know what you mean. Anyway, here is a bunch of phenomenal fic that had me shriek-laughing and/or crying into my freshly washed clothes because the gay hockey show got me in the feelings place real hard.
HEATED RIVALRY - NO I WON’T BE CHILL ABOUT THE GAY HOCKEY PLAYERS SHOW:
Boston Boys by xpityx, ilya/shane & bears, NSFW, 58k wip
When the unsentimental financial imperative of the NHL sees Shane traded to the Boston Raiders, he and Ilya are thrown into closer extended proximity than ever before. As they adjust to life as teammates, they are forced to contend with the nature of their relationship -and must answer for themselves: is it even a relationship at all?
Phone call from a Boston jail by FlamesToDust, ilya/shane, NSFW, 16.4k
Shane gets himself into some unlikely trouble and needs to be bailed out of a Boston jail in the middle of the night. There's really only one person he can call, and it's the last person he wants to face... Set post-tuna melt in a universe where Rose doesn't happen.
high on hockey by goldengalaxies, ilya/shane & cast, 4.4k
Ilya Rozanov: Is true. You are so beautiful. I cannot believe you exist. So pretty. And I get to have you and love you and be your boyfriend- [Shane slams his hand over Ilya’s mouth, his expression panicked.] Shane Hollander: This interview is over! Cut the cameras, now! (the players at all-stars 2018 eat spiked brownies. cue a chaos + a hollanov reveal)
(Oh I believe in) Yesterday by queengoose, ilya/shane & wyatt/lisa & troy & centaurs, 9.4k
Time loops are just a fact of life to Wyatt, insane as that sounds. He’ll happily settle in for a repeat day every couple of weeks. Chances are he’ll wake up tomorrow morning and go to regularly scheduled practice. A teammate probably pissed off their wife, which is an easily fixed problem. Or, the Wyatt-Hayes-centric-time-loop-Boxing-Day-fight-fix-it-fic
biphasic by PenAndInkPrincess, ilya/shane, nsfw, 25.1k
“I’m sorry,” he says, turning heel and resisting the urge to just book it right for the front door only because he’d rather not have to explain to Hayden why he returned from a hookup with Boston Lily in men’s clothes that he certainly didn’t leave in. It’s not until he makes it halfway up the stairs to Rozanov’s bedroom that it occurs to him in a cold rush that it isn’t just anxiety that makes it this hard to breathe. “No,” he tells himself firmly, white knuckling the bannister and trying to take a deep breath just to prove that he can. It wheezes. (how the tuna meltdown is averted through the power of food allergies and anaphylaxis)
Busted by AC91, ilya/shane & hayden & j.j., NSFW, 13.2k
Hayden just wanted to surprise Shane with a guy’s night in. Shane had been flat lately, and he and JJ thought it would be nice to distract him with friendship. How they ended up stuck in a fucking closet watching Shane get dicked down harder than anyone in the history of the world has ever been dicked down, Hayden would never quite understand.
Influential by 409_conflict, ilya/shane & david/yuna, 13.9k
The problem is, no one knows how to market Ilya Rozanov's (in his own words) sexy Euro masculinity to an audience of white straight men. He needs the best. And if it happens to be his secret lover’s mother who despises his very existence, so be it.
Crushed by CoffeeDragon87, ilya/shane & troy/harris, 2.4k
Harris needs Shane Hollander to crush a watermelon with his thighs. For charity. OR "Is charity watermelon. Has rules."
One True Love by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle, ilya/shane & troy/harris & centaurs, 23.8k wip
In which Troy doesn’t immediately post Harris on his socials after coming out, and Ilya is inspired to come out shortly after. The result? An unfortunate misunderstanding, which leaves everyone thinking Baranov is the cutest couple in hockey. Everyone other than Shane and Harris that is.
Centerfold by FlameHazel18, ilya/shane & david/yuna, 4.8k
"I knew it!" Ilya crows much too loudly, smacking Shane in the chest with the magazine. "Shane Hollander, did you buy this to jerk off to?!" Or: Ilya is tasked with helping Shane clean out his childhood bedroom. He is totally, completely, extremely normal about this.
Montreal Metros Go Broke For Woke by 409_conflict, ilya/shane & voyageurs & bears, 16.7k
They may not have any idea how to do it, but there’s no way in hell the Montreal Metros are going to risk losing their Captain to a more accepting team. Full of determination, grit, open hearts, and absolutely no savvy, this team is going to learn how to be allies, come hell or high water.
Barbe-Q&A by prailock, ilya/shane & centaurs, nsfw, 7.7k
In their first summer after being outed, Shane finally accepts that invite to Bood's backyard barbecue. It could have been a relaxing night. But Ilya's brought vodka. And the Centaurs brought questions. Might as well rip off the band aid before he signs with Ottawa. Or How many shots is it worth to know what your Captain likes in bed?
multitasking by spelling__bee, ilya/shane & cast, NSFW, 7.3k
I am in hell, Ilya thinks. He's awkwardly hard in his cup and layers of gear. He can't focus. How the fuck is Hollander functioning like this? Is he actually so gifted at hockey that he can play at this level and still have space to let the sex demon in his brain run rampant? Is this what he's like all the time?
Eye of the Storm by Lily_wing, ilya/shane & david/yuna, NSFW, 20.9k wip
When Montreal is hit by a bad storm on the night of their game, Ilya thinks Shane might let him stay the night. What neither of them knows is that Shane's parents, also caught in the storm, have had the same idea.
the top 1% (of lovers) by Anonymous, ilya/shane, NSFW, 3.5k
He and Shane are in bed together, Ilya’s lips attached to Shane’s neck as they lazily grind against each other, when Shane says, “So you’ve slept with like eight hundred women.” Immediately, Ilya stops. He releases Shane’s neck—even though it makes Shane whine unhappily—and pulls back so he can meet Shane’s eyes. “What?” “You’ve slept with eight hundred women,” Shane says. He’s a bit pink in the cheeks, but that might just be the arousal. “I did the math."
macro by PenAndInkPrincess, ilya/shane, 19.4k
(shane has a habit of sending his team's dietician his meals for approval) (the problem with this habit? he forgets to tell ilya exactly what it is that melissa does) (how the tuna meltdown is AVERTED through the power of miscommunication)
I'm Reading Your Lips (You're Speaking My Language) by some1_around, ilya/shane & david/yuna & svetlana & hayden, nsfw, 30.4k
Despite an inauspicious start, when Russia’s Ilya Rozanov learns that Canada’s Shane Hollander is fluent in Russian at their first World Junior Championships tournament, it changes everything and sets them on a different course. Instead of being branded as rivals from the very beginning, Ilya and Shane start off as friends. And, after all, a little friendly rivalry never hurt anyone, did it?
Two-Four-Eight-One-Oh-Eight (Ilya Hollander. Shane Rozanov.) by persimmonysnicket, ilya/shane & david/yuna & cliff, 4.8k
“He’s not sleeping.” Shane flares his nostrils—another gesture Yuna hasn’t seen in so many years. “He’s waiting for me to call a third time. Mom. Please. He’s—he’ll be so worried.” Yuna shifts her thumb and lets it drop. Is Yuna a bad mother if she hopes "Lily" doesn’t pick up?
quick, he needs more hockey! by SafelyCapricious, ilya/shane & scott/kip & carter, 10.5k
Kip sometimes teases Scott for how he prefers to stay off social media. But after some of the responses to his very public coming out, it's a survival mechanism more than not caring. Even Kip is less connected online than he used to be. So the first sign Scott has that something had happened is when his coach catches him after practice — he stayed late to help two of the rookies — and tells him that management wants to talk to him as soon as possible. Shane Hollander has been traded to the Admirals.
Boston's Shining Star by whenpigssoar, ilya/shane, 13.6k
Ilya Rozanov has decade-long beef with Boston’s other star athlete. Told in vignettes.
MORE RECS UNDER THE CUT because I have more to yell about and shove at you all in an attempt to make you drown like I'm drowning. I'm good at sharing like that.
in between a thousand and one kisses by elumish, ilya/shane & centaurs, 1.7k
Yes, Shane is like the sun come down to earth, but for hockey. Yes, he married Ilya. Thank you for noticing.
Shoe box by EtoileGarden, ilya/shane & svetlana, 12.2k
He hadn’t meant to keep them. To make it a collection. But the shoe box shoved under his bed, (next to the shoebox full of family and hockey photos, and another box of random memorabilia from his childhood,) had been getting heavier and heavier.
Shane Hollander’s Gay Sex TedTalk for Hayden Pike by isto4u, ilya/shane & hayden, nsfw, 3.8k
Shane and Hayden get drunk together and Shane lets Hayden ask all the nasty questions he’s always had about gay sex.
what happens in vegas by kryptonian, ilya/shane, NSFW, omegaverse, 7.1k
“You are in heat at award show? Why would you hide this? Why would you not call out sick? Are you—are you insane? You care this much about trophy?”
Bet On It by Airuna, ilya/shane & hayden & voyageurs & bears, 7.8k wip
JayJason @Youdon’tknowme ‘Losing a bet’ would have let them get away with so much, though… Like why are you at your rival's game? I lost a bet. Why are you wearing your rival's jersey? I lost a bet. Why are you hanging out together? I lost a bet. Why are you making him breakfast in bed? I lost a bet.
Ilya's Weird and Wonderful (Canadian) Playlist by WatermelonTuesdays, ilya/shane & ryan/fabian & david & wyatt & troy/harris & dykstra & cast, 10.5k
A 6 + 1 with six of Ilya's experiences with Canadian music, and one experience with Russian music. Featuring a LOT of Canada-isms.
animal by makemegentle, ilya/shane & cast, nsfw, suicidal ideation/themes, 3k
On the way home from dropping Sveta off at the airport, Ilya thinks about killing himself.
A League of His Own by Promised_ivy, ilya/shane (& background shane/other & ilya/other) & nhl cast, 11.1k
Shane Hollander comes out as gay after a video of him talking to Rose Landry is leaked the week before he has to go to All-Stars 2017. Shane is not going to let a bunch of homophobes scare him. Although, as Ilya Rozanov is starting to figure out, they might not be as homophobic as they all seem...
the proposal by UglyGreenJacket, ilya/shane & cast, 5.9k
Ilya: I think Shane is going to break up with me. Bood: I’m sorry…what? Hayes: You think Shane Hollander is going to break up with you? Hayes: Shane Hollander. Hayes: The Shane Hollander who learned Russian for you? Bood: The Shane Hollander who drives back and forth from Montreal any chance he gets to see you?
boring? never heard of it by noisehues, ilya/shane, NSFW, 3.5k
Shane shouldn't care about what the Centaurs have to say about sex life years into marriage. They say it's normal for it to get boring, and he can't help but disagree with how far from the truth that statement is. Until he sees Ilya laughing with Haas about it. That's when he starts to spiral. or: Shane thinks Ilya finds their sex life boring. Ilya thinks he's insane. They fuck about it.
toss and turn without me, boy by sterica, ilya/shane, nsfw, 4.2k
Shane and Ilya start sleeping over. It still takes them years to figure everything out. Or, 5 times Shane & Ilya have illicit sleepovers and 1 time they realise they can have nights like this for the rest of their lives.
"Why did I say that?" and other unhelpful 3AM ponderings by aimee_s, ilya/shane & scott/kip & carter, 1.2k
"I’d show up for any dude who’s that brave." Carter Vaughn has never said anything homophobic in regards to Shane Hollander. He even sent him a message of support after him and his now-husband got outed. Knowing that doesn't really help right now, though.
Antipathy by AC91, ilya/shane & david/yuna, 9.7k
Yuna can’t help it. There’s just something about Ilya Rozanov that rubs her the wrong way.
Yuna Hollander Figures It Out by beautifulduckweed, ilya/shane & yuna, nsfw, 2.1k
Yuna is waiting for her son to finally come out and tell the truth: that he's in love with his teammate and best friend of the last eight years, Hayden Pike.
Frottage at the Cottage by dntat, ilya/shane & wyatt & hayden/jackie & david/yuna, NSFW, 17.1k
5 times Ilya tries to fuck his husband, and 1 time he actually does.
Little Brother by fandom_commitment_issues, ilya(/shane) & alexei, 4.3k
Leaving after his father's funeral is the last time Ilya plans to be in Moscow. Alexei comes to say goodbye.
#OneGoalDoesNotBuiltACareer by Airuna, ilya/shane & hayden & troy/harris & bears & centaurs, 9.8k
But Ilya’s not here. And Shane is bored. Or. Shane spends a post game interview explaining that his husband is the best captain in the league and accidentally starts a hashtag.
on tuna melts and first names by UglyGreenJacket, ilya/shane & centaurs, 2.8k
“Today,” he says loudly. “Today, I will tell you about the time Shane got jealous because Tro–” “NO, Ilya,” Shane interrupts him, and Ilya greatly enjoys watching Troy’s head snap towards Shane, who glows like a freshly picked tomato. And that’s fine, really. Being Shane Hollander’s husband means he has so much material to work with. “Okay, well, what about the time you bought us a sex building?” he asks, and barely gets the sentence out before Zane Boodram makes a loud exclamation.
Breaking News: Your Mutual Is Ilya Rozanov by thingcalledlove, ilya/shane & harris, 1.4k
Ilya sends out a tweet...from the wrong account.
afraid, yes, but by spelling__bee, ilya/shane & david/yuna & irina & svetlana & galina, NSFW, suicidal ideation/themes, 14k
This was what tended to scare Shane the most, when Ilya was unwell: the gradual loss of him, despite being physically there. He would go quiet, blank, slow to speak and slow to respond, nothing like the pulse of intense energy and liveliness that sparked in him at his baseline. Shane missed him, when he was away in that place. It was not a place Ilya could always describe, and it was not somewhere Shane could rescue him from, or even join him in for company. So Shane waited, every time, for him to come back. He always came back. That was the only relief in it.
the tricks out of our sleeves by outherenow, ilya/shane & scott/kip & cliff & bears, NSFW, 54.8k wip
“Is Boston even interested.” Ilya scoffs at him like Shane is an idiot. “Is sky blue? Is water wet? Is English stupid language? Yes, Hollander, of course we want best player in the league.” Ilya mutters more in disgruntled Russian and Shane gets up off the couch to Google Russian lessons on his ipad while continuing their conversation. Or, a Shane goes to Boston story.
Centaur of Attention by MeesterHollander, ilya/shane & hayden & cast, 10.6k
The missing scene before TLG where Ilya gets traded to Ottawa, and Hayden starts to get suspicious. Set before "Dinner with Hayden"
lost in translation by constellaetions, ilya/shane & hayden & anya & cast, NSFW, 19.2k wip
Ilya Rozanov has a gift. He can speak to animals, which has earned him an incredibly successful career as a pet psychic, and far too much information about what people do when they think their pets aren’t watching. Shane Hollander has a problem. His cat, Pork, is permanently miserable. After exhausting every sensible option, Shane turns to the supernatural for assistance. After their first appointment, Pork grows visibly happier - his cat’s found a hobby and renewed sense of purpose for achieving his only goal: to destroy Ilya for good.
Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Idea by niinis, ilya/shane, nsfw, 5.6k
“Just stick your dick in. Make it fit. Can you do that?”
Access by AC91, ilya/shane & hayden/jackie & david/yuna & j.j., nsfw, 7.8k
Shane makes some changes to protect his privacy. People notice. *5+1 of Shane establishing his boundaries. AU where Shane and Ilya were never caught at the cottage.
Troy Barrett vs The Babies by hollanddays, troy/harris & ilya/shane & ryan/fabian & scott/kip, omegaverse, 15.8k
Five times Troy (unwillingly) held someone else's baby, and the one time he held his own. or: please don't let Troy Barrett hold your baby.
I love all the love you guys are giving me, but I need you to listen to this part. Because this is for all of you [in the audience] and this is for all of you [watching at home]. Sometimes the comeback is even better than the dream.
🏒 my mouth hasn't shut up about you since you kissed it | 3.6k
5 times Shane’s oral fixation gets him and Ilya in trouble +1 time it’s just for them.
🏒 What Happens in Vegas | 3.7k
Shane and Ilya are back in Vegas. Ilya is going to give Shane a very special reward.
🏒 ̶H̶e̶l̶p̶f̶u̶l̶ Advice | 4.0k
five times Shane gives relationship advice his friends disagree with, and one time he doesn’t.
🏒 time to write the book on you | 4.0k
🔒 Ilya and Shane sneak in a cottage getaway after All-Stars 2021, between chapters 28 & 29 of The Long Game
🏒 You look at me like a problem, you like the way I misbehave | 4.0k
Shane sexts Ilya during a team dinner to get back at him for making them late and forcing them to sit apart
🏒 Use Me | 4.6k
Ilya tied up and blindfolded while shane uses him as a dildo
🏒 Logistically Efficient | 4.8k
Shane invents advanced blowjob positions with his own beautiful freaky mind, thereby unintentionally turning Ilya into a danger to himself and others
🏒 Match My Freak | 4.8k
five times their teams find out they're freaks + one time they find out that they're freaks together
🏒 i'm your biggest fan, mr. hollander | 4.8k
Ilya turned slowly, grinning, and showed off the HOLLANDER spreading across his back and Shane’s number branding him. “You played so well, Mr. Hollander. I’m such a fan of you.”
🏒 Written In Ink | 6.1k
Shane gets Ilya's number tattooed on him
🏒 Settling the Score | 6.4k
Ilya Rozanov does not like to lose, especially to Shane Hollander. And when the Montréal Metros crush the Boston Raiders in a humiliating 8-3 score, a certain team captain shows up at his door with a toothy grin and little too much pride in himself. So now, off the ice, it's Ilya's turn to show Shane just how fun it can be to settle a score
🏒 Be My Video Obsession | 6.4k
Shane and Ilya make a sex tape.
🏒 coins and cats | 6.9k
Shane gets himself a set of pretty lingerie as revenge, and Ilya comes all over his pretty panties embarassingly fast
🏒 sandcastles (all the pleasure, none of the burden) | 7.4k
Shane plays four-dimensional chess to get Ilya to fuck him even when he tells him no, for Shane-typical control freak reasons, in Shane-typical convoluted ways, with Shane-typical unawareness of this being a sex freak thing. Ilya provides, of course
🏒 Shane & Ilya Make a Sex Tape | 7.5k
Shane proposes an idea...
🏒 mine out of ten | 8.4k
🔒 Hayden: Every time he gets jealous and you have 29383 hickeys, you must be an active participant in that, right?
🏒 Shaking Fists and Bloody Teeth | 8.5k
Five times Ilya fights someone for Shane on and off the ice, and one time Shane fought for Ilya.
🏒 Bound to your touch, the way that you use me | 8.7k
5 times Shane free uses Ilya +1 time Ilya gives himself over to Shane
🏒 Shane and Ilya Film a Sex Tape | 9.4k
Shane and Ilya are so obsessed with each other they have to make a sex tape about it.
🏒 Super Virgin | 9.6k
Shane is a virgin, and then he’s not.
🏒 5 Times Shane and Ilya Matched Each Other's Freak (+1 Time They Kept Things Completely Vanilla) | 10.0k
Shane and Ilya are very, very compatible
🏒 too much (is never enough) | 10.0k
how hollanov can ethically, monogamously, have a threesome.
🏒 i just thought you might like it | 10.1k
shane’s birthday is next week. ilya has gifts for him.
🏒 My body's yours and you know it too | 10.5k
5 times Ilya marks Shane and 1 time Shane marks Ilya aka the hickey fic
🏒 a riot in between our lips | 10.6k
Shane gets aroused when listening to his husband, and they got a final to win.
🏒 #HollanderxRozanov | 11.6k
Ilya films a collaboration with Porsche and goes viral for being hot. Shane’s solution? Surprising Ilya with lingerie, naturally
🏒 untouched | 12.0k
“Don’t—this isn’t a fucking joke, alright?” Shane snapped. “Shut up. I want it to be different. Or, no—the same, but more. I want you to just make me fucking take it. Shit. I don’t know how to ask you for this.”
🏒 They kinda like being caught | 12.5k
five times they are walked in on and one time they walk in on someone else.
🏒 what a man (a mighty good man) | 14.3k
five times that Shane is overwhelmed by his husband's masculinity and one time that Ilya realizes he is not the man of the house.
🏒 Sexting (It Isn't Sex It's The Next Best Thing) | 14.5k
Four times Shane torments his husband via weaponized lace and photography, and one time Ilya gets to enjoy it up close.
🏒 happy wife, happy life | 14.8k
5 times ilya ragebaits shane because being yelled at by his husband turns him on, +1 time shane realizes he’s doing it on purpose
🏒 Try, Try Again | 26.6k
Shane and Ilya navigate their sexual relationship, now that they're finally a couple
Fic Rec Masterpost | Freak4Freak Part 1
Smutty -> Accidental Voyeurism | Ass Play Ilya | BDSM/TPE AU | Bottom Ilya | Collared Shane | Dom/Sub Dynamics Pt. 1 | Dom/Sub Dynamics Pt. 2 | Exhibitionist Hollanov | Freak4Freak Pt.1 | Freak4Freak Pt. 2 | Needy Shane | Premature Ejaculation | Puppy Play | Safewords & Aftercare | Sexual/Non Sexual Submission | Sex Ban | Sex Toys | Size Kink | Soft Dom Ilya | Subdrop Shane | Submissive Ilya | Submissive Shane | Subspace Shane | Team Submissive
Here it is, the promised HR fanfiction rec list! As it often happens with my rec lists, it might grow later ;)
all the things he did by HR (blankjournals)
Summary:
4 times Shane was strict with Ilya and the 1 time he wasn't ft Ilya having an emotional crisis over it.
and i spit out the seeds by linearity
Summary:
A video of Shane sucking Ilya’s dick is leaked. Over the next twenty-four hours, Ilya goes on an odyssey.
at the lonely end of the rink, you and me by vahosi
Summary:
The first time Ilya coughed up a flower, he was kneeling over a toilet in the penthouse of the Fontainebleau Las Vegas, for entirely the wrong fucking reason to be kneeling over a toilet in Vegas.
There was no point in trying to pretend it wasn’t happening. He wasn’t an idiot. Hadn’t he seen his own mother waste away, coughing up clumps of clean white chamomile stained shocking scarlet? Hadn’t he known, on some level, that he was fated to follow in her footsteps one day, to throw his entire heart and soul into loving a person who would never — could never — love him back?
No, Ilya knew what this was. He also knew he’d never set foot on the ice again if anyone found out.
Blindly, he reached for the toilet paper, wiped his mouth, and then flushed the whole thing. Petals, too. He didn’t want to know what kind they were. Pizdets. It should’ve been a fucking maple leaf.
❁ ❆ ❁ ❆ ❁
the Hanahaki AU, in which Ilya loves Shane Hollander’s stupid face so much it makes him sick (literally)
NEW The Bench Bay by hotpocketss
Summary:
“You know,” Ilya adds, like he’s continuing a casual thought, “Hotel was good idea. It’s warm, no ice, no… audience.”
Shane’s grip tightens on the strap of his bag, but he still doesn’t respond. He keeps skating, eyes fixed ahead, pretending the words don’t land even as heat crawls back up his neck.
“But no,” he continues, clearly enjoying himself. “You choose rink, very bold.”
“Fuck off,” Shane exhales through his nose.
Ilya keeps talking as they slow near the boards, skating lazy circles around Shane like he has nowhere else to be. “Next time,” he says mildly, like he’s already planned it, “We use a hotel. I promise, much less… scandal.”
_____
Shane and Ilya get freaky on the ice, LIKE LITERALLY on the ice during the All Star Game week.
be neighborly! by steelknuckles
Summary:
Ilya's new neighbor is annoying. Sucks that he's ridiculously handsome, and good at cooking, and Ilya might be falling in love with him.
Big fish, little fish by penpen_xo
Summary:
Shane had schedules to stick to, regimens to maintain, plays to study, drills to perfect.
He needed to eat the same thing, every day. Train in the best way to keep his mind and body fit by keeping to strict programs. He needed to stick to his plan so that he could ensure that everything also went, well…to plan.
He needed all of these things to fall in place otherwise— well he tried not to think too hard about the otherwise. He couldn’t let otherwise happen.
Basically he’d treated his body like a fucking temple for majority of his life and had no problems with it yet— And then he turned 30.
Broken Glass by prinny_a
Summary:
When a visit to his father turns violent, there's only one place Ilya wants to go.
set post-rose breakup and pre-all stars game.
Canon Compliance by ThePromptWasntThisLong (shredded_potato)
Summary:
Ilya discovers RPF. Naturally, he decides the best course of action is to read the filthiest scenes aloud and then meticulously reenact every single one.
Shane is mortified. He is also very, very turned on.
can't rush the dawn before it is time by Wretchedheart
Summary:
It was supposed to be a joke, okay? It was supposed to be funny, and they were all supposed to get a laugh out of it. Despite all of his protests, Hayden had thought he could get Shane to see the humor in it once he gave in. Except the longer Shane decidedly didn’t find it funny, the less entertaining it became for Hayden as well.
Hayden hadn’t ever actually done a deep-dive into the whole Hollanov internet obsession. He wasn’t prepared to have the cornerstone of his worldview be destroyed by a youtube compilation video.
--
The Montreal team watch a Hollanov compilation on youtube, for fun, and realize some things.
careful all the time by Anonymous
Summary:
“I was thinking about the honeymoon phase thing.”
“Yes?” Ilya said.
“I think it’s different for us. I don’t want us to be all blissful and then only start fighting when we’re back to barely seeing each other. I think it’s good if we figure things out now, when we have the time. Whatever needs figuring out. So we have a solid foundation going into the season. Sort of like training camp.”
“So this means you will keep getting mad at me for things,” Ilya said.
Shane smiled, rolled his eyes. “Yeah, exactly,” he said.
“Good, I find it very hot,” Ilya said, and kissed him.
An insecure over-thinker and a self-destructive secret-keeper walk into a relationship.
clear to a hedgehog by magneticwave
Summary:
Every Boston Raider knows that although their captain has a girl in every port, he’s got a soft spot for the one in Montreal. Dr. Shane Hollander knows it’s better to have a semi-regular source of casual sex than try to make a relationship work during residency. Ilya Rozanov knows that the doctor he’s fucking in Montreal is unaware that he plays hockey, and in fact probably thinks he’s Bratva.
Concussion Protocol by cjr2
Summary:
Instead of Shane, it is Ilya who suffers a concussion during the Boston-Montreal game in April 2017. Dazed and agitated, Ilya briefly starts speaking and responding only in Russian and the medics can’t calm him down. Luckily, Shane started studying Russian after Ilya spoke to him in Russian on the phone from Moscow. For no particular reason. Certainly not because he’s fallen in love with Ilya Rozanov.
In Montreal with lingering concussion symptoms, Ilya is advised not to fly home for a few days, and the hospital won’t release him without assurances that he has someone to stay with him until his symptoms improve. Luckily, Shane conveniently has a condo in Montreal no one knows about and a few days before he has to travel again.
But Ilya’s symptoms don’t resolve after a few days. Which is okay; Shane can handle it. He can take care of Ilya, study Russian, lead his team into the playoffs, and keep Ilya’s continued presence in Montreal a secret. He can do everything, no problem. He is Shane Hollander after all.
or
A whump fanfiction that is secretly a fix-it.
Detained by FestiveFerret
Summary:
"Did you see what happened to Rozanov after the game?"
Shane's head snapped up and he lost his rhythm on the rowing machine. He slowed to a stop so he wouldn't hit himself in the face. One of the weight benches exploding wouldn't be enough to pull his attention away from his teammates' conversation.
"No, what happened?"
"Dude got fucking arrested."
Dig Two Graves by devovitsuasartes
Summary:
There’s no humor in Shane’s voice. It’s cold, hard, determined. “When we meet them on the ice next season, I want to fucking destroy them.”
After a moment, he feels Ilya nod thoughtfully behind him.
“Is good plan. Let’s fucking destroy them.”
The Montreal Voyageurs won't stop slinging mud at Shane in the press, so Shane and Ilya decide to get revenge the best way they know how.
enforcer by @moonlitsgarden
Summary:
Ilya knows there is a thing about himself he has to always keep hidden in the deepest recesses of his body, behind his molars and in his core. He thinks Shane Hollander might be the same, except the thing about him he cannot hide.
Ilya Rozanov is the biggest hockey talent of his generation. So is Shane Hollander.
But over the years Ilya notices that the vicious media and the clamouring fans and some of his more foul-mouthed teammates treat Hollander differently than any other hockey player.
everything that kills me (makes me feel alive) by asocialconstruct
Summary:
The photo is blurry, timestamped 2:17 AM, but there's no mistaking Ilya Rozanov walking into Shane Hollander's building the night Boston wins in Montreal.
By morning, it's everywhere.
--
For five years, they've been careful. But one fan with a camera phone unravels it all, and suddenly Shane and Ilya have to answer questions about what they are besides rivals. Shane's team wants him to deny everything. Ilya's family demands the same.
Canon divergence where the secret comes out three years early, and Shane and Ilya have to decide if what they have is real under intense media pressure. Set right before the tuna melt game would have happened.
NEW for a split sec, I was a train wreck by Anonymous
Summary:
Never mind the next two weeks, the next eight hours stretched endlessly in front of him. He had no idea how to occupy his time. His house was basically empty, which sounded sad but was really a good thing, evidence he’d built himself the life he wanted – where he always had something to do, outside and with other people. Ilya had been restless for as long as he could remember, had never been able to sit still. He’d gotten in trouble for it as a kid at the dinner table and he got in trouble for it as a full grown man on the team bus. He’d gotten in trouble for it when the doctors had been trying to take the x-ray, his leg jumping without his permission.
Ilya gets injured, stops leaving the house, loses his mind, learns to read tarot, and sends Shane Hollander a lot of photos.
from the cold by stammiviktor
Summary:
It’s winter in Ottawa and Ilya has hunkered down in his big, empty mansion to weather a nasty flu. Then his phone buzzes.
— Guardian™ Security Alert: Movement detected at front door
— (1) Missed Call: Yuna Hollander
Or: The Hollanders have a new son to take care of. Ilya has no idea what’s going on.
Gold Rush by joannabobanna
Summary:
It’s usually on nights like tonight, when sleep evades him, that the worry starts to creep in.
Because what about a year from now when the Centaurs have just barely eked through another season with the barest handful of wins and the Voyageurs have won themselves yet another cup? Or in three years from now, when Shane is closer to his forties than his twenties, and he realizes that his entire list of carefree, youthful romps with his preferred gender is made up of one nervous fumble with Mexico top and Hollywood blowjob guy each and then all the years with Ilya?
And somehow, somewhere between the inky darkness of Ilya’s sleepless night and the bright, early morning trip back home to Ottawa, Ilya resolves to propose...an arrangement.
Because what did it matter if Shane had meaningless sex with other men as long Ilya held his heart, right? And if it preserved Shane’s happiness in the long term…if it kept the already delicate Jenga tower of factors that dictated their relationship from finally toppling over…then it was the obvious choice.
Right?
Or the one where Ilya proposes opening up their relationship: a deep dive on that one scene in chapter twenty-one of the The Long Game.
Holding Patterns by thecouchsofa
Summary:
“Do you want to know how it feels?”
Shane let his hand fall back to the couch. He pushed himself up onto his elbows and lifted a brow at Rozanov. “What – holding the Cup? You’ve already made that joke once.”
“No.” Rozanov’s fingers encircled Shane’s wrist and then he was pulling Shane’s hand between his legs.
Or: Shane tops.
i can take a little bit more by bee_slut
Summary:
It starts out like a good night would. Shane pressing him against their bedroom wall, kissing alongside his jaw and his neck, it’s usually an indicator of when a good time is about to turn even better.
Except.
Today has been…off.
Ilya Rozanov vs. Canadian Vocabulary by Honeybees_n_flowers
Summary:
“You named your coin after the stupid wolf bird?”
“I didn't. The country did, I guess. I don't know, I never really thought about it.” He paused for a second, then smirked. “A two dollar coin is called a toonie.”
Or: Four times Ilya Rozanov thought a Canadian word was stupid, and one time he was on Canada's side.
i see you, i know you, i love you by allapologies
Summary:
"Whose dick was Hollander gonna fuck her with anyway?” O'Connell says.
“What’d you mean?” the other guy asks.
“Asian dick, man.” O’Connell pinches his forefinger and thumb together. “No fucking chance that thing is big enough.”
Is plenty big, Ilya nearly says, before catching the tip of his tongue between his teeth.
is it the same for you? by notwritinganovel
Summary:
Shane releases what feels like his first exhale in forever—Ilya Rozanov, taken out by the common flu. Not ignoring him. Not ending anything. Still, the knot in his chest doesn’t ease completely with the vision of Ilya unwell and alone in Shane’s head.
JANE
Are you at your house?
LILY
Where else, Jane?
JANE
Don’t fall asleep. I’ll be there soon.
LILY
No, am sick. I told you.
JANE
I heard you. I’ll be there soon.
Or, Ilya’s sick and Shane wants, and wants, and wants.
Learning Curve by AutumnFoxed
Summary:
The first thing Ilya’s brain processed was the text in the search bar.
normal amount of touching while watching a movie
how to initiate intimacy without being awkward
is asking “is this okay” too much
Shane accidentally leaves his laptop open. Ilya discovers an extensive Google search history on how to be a good boyfriend.
Ilya conducts a very thorough performance review.
Little More Close by maplesalad
Summary:
“Okay. You want to say no, you want to fight me. Pretty boy, all alone in his glass house. You want me to force you?”
He didn’t need Shane to answer, really; Shane was fully hard against Ilya’s thigh and pink under his freckles. But it was best to be direct about these things. And he wanted to hear Shane say it, anyway.
“I—yeah. Make me. Is that too weird?”
The Long Way Home by kooksie
Summary:
Shane can’t stand his college roommate and teammate, Ilya Rozanov. Can’t stand his arrogance and his messiness and his constant sleeping around.
But then the entire team, Shane included, welcomes their families to campus for Parents Weekend.
And Shane also can’t stand that Ilya is alone.
NEW lover of the russian queen by satorussuguru
Summary:
Ilya cannot help the wide smile that breaks out across his face. "You ran here," he says, reaching out to smooth Shane's rumpled clothes, fingers working the chewed-up hoodie string free from his mouth while he sits very still and watches Ilya with wide eyes. "Across many states and up four flights of stairs—where are your grandma candies?—to ask if I have secret baby.”
loving this body by beetlesandstars, kryptonian
Summary:
Ilya picks up on the third ring, breathing heavily into the phone. Shane hears a door slam shut through the device. “Do not yell at me.”
Shane stares at the half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. “You suck.”
“I suck? I scored hat-trick! In your stupid body! I have not eaten in six hours, Hollander. I have not pissed. I have not laid down. I want to go home.”
“Rozanov–”
“Your mother has called twenty times. Your manager has called thirty times. Your father text me picture of crossword puzzle and ask for help. Clue is about American President from the 1980s. I cannot help!”
OR: the hollanov bodyswap fic.
the lucky one by beetlesandstars
Summary:
Tomorrow, he'll call Shane and apologise. He'll fix what he broke. He doesn't want Shane to be angry at him anymore.
He doesn’t remember swerving to avoid a merging truck.
He also doesn’t remember hitting the tree.
Or: Ilya gets into a car accident. Shane is there to pick up the pieces.
magnolia & heartache by magicjohnson
Summary:
“When did you start feeling like this? Did it come out of nowhere or you think something happened?” she asks.
“It started in Detroit in December, last year. I do not remember it from games in Vancouver and Edmonton before that.”
“Do anything out of the ordinary then?”
“No, I do not—” he comes to a complete stop, and Ash walks ahead of him for a few steps before turning.
“What? What is it?”
The picture swirls in front of him like vibrant water colours splashing on a canvas. Cliff beckons him over to where he and Victor are perched on their bikes, and Victor holds his phone out to him. The headline is clear: Is Rose Landry dating MLH star Shane Hollander?
A pit forms in Ilya’s stomach, cramping uncomfortably as if carved with a rusted knife, and distantly he recalls feeling the same way back in December.
There is no fucking way that’s been the problem.
or, hot off the press from my tl after episode 4: ‘ilya is the first alpha to go through rejection sickness’
morality clause by canadadry
Summary:
Morals Clause: A contract provision that may be used in endorsement, spokesperson, and similar agreements to give the advertiser the right to terminate the deal, seek damages, or remove branding if the individual engages in actions bringing disrepute, scandal, or negative attention, protecting the brand's image and financial interests.
Yuna does her research—apparently, a morals clause is common, in contracts like this.
It bothers her, a little, how vague it is, but ultimately, she doesn’t see an issue with it—at least, not really.
Shane is many things, and she is so, so excited to see how much more he becomes… but, for all of the many things she imagines in his future, she doesn't think he's capable of doing anything that could be accurately described as scandalous.
She's wrong.
NEW 911, Jackie speaking by camiii
Summary:
“Jackie?” Shane’s question cuts through the silence, and Jackie winces at the frantic rasp of his voice.
“Right here, honey.” She tries to keep her voice light, wrapping her hand around Hayden’s wrist and meeting his worried gaze over the phone. “What’s going on?”
“I need your help.” Shane croaks out. “They called, but they won’t - I need to know if he’s okay, but they won’t tell me.” The end of his sentence disappears in something so close to a sob it makes something in Jackie’s chest freeze over.
no one noticed by residentrookie
Summary:
It's the night of the Boston vs Montreal game, and Shane Hollander isn't letting whatever illness he's contracted stop him from getting out on the ice, no matter how sick he actually is. Ilya Rozanov, it seems, is the only person who notices.
Whatever that means.
Off day by mareastralis
Summary:
Ilya knows he has to get up, soon, but he doesn't feel up to the task today. Shane notices.
The only one who's getting me (Don't call me, just text me) by gossipdaddy
Summary:
Drunk Ilya decides to call Shane.
Our Captain, Their Problem by Bruja_oscura
Summary:
Ilya Rozanov has a "tiny car accident" (his words). Shane Hollander has a full-scale, system-shutdown panic attack about it. Meanwhile, a horrified Hayden is praying for someone to throw him in a lake and tell him that this is all just a big joke, or maybe for a meteor strike; he is really not picky. J.J., on the other hand, is trying to bleach the image of his sweet captain making out with Ilya fucking Rozanov from his brain.
It's a very normal day for the Montreal Canadiens.
Pike Children to the Rescue by Skaboom
Summary:
When Hayden misinterprets Shane having a panic attack on the phone, he decides that nothing could help Shane calm down cheer up like a surprise visit from his best friend and four very adorable, very loud children.
or
Hayden thinks Shane is having a panic attack during their phone call while Ilya is blowing him, and proceeds to drag his children to the cottage to surprise Shane, only to find Ilya Rozanov is already there. Hayden finds out about them, and has to reconcile his hate for Ilya with his affinity for his best friend.
please leave a message by Ravenesta
Summary:
Sarah
Does anyone have the number for Shane's girl from Boston? I feel bad that they've been seeing each other for this long and we've never added her here.
Jackie
Oh good point! Let me ask Hayden.
Jackie has added Lily to the conversation
Lily
what
what is this
Or: Ilya Rozanov is, apparently, one of the girls.
r/OmegaHelpDesk: Nesting Advice Needed by inexpiate
Summary:
r/OmegaHelpDesk:
Nesting Advice Needed
u/gingerale_slick24: How do I ask my alpha for his clothes without sounding needy? I’m nesting. Pre-heat is kicking my ass. Burner account because he found my main. Fucking asshole.
Shane Hollander's Reddit History by leaveittome
Summary:
r/Bottoms
First Time Bottoming…
Shane_Hollander24: 7 years ago
shaneswood: 2 days ago
ur telling me shane hollander has been on reddit this whole time talking about bottoming and we only JUST found out?
a simple case of mistaken identity by LiarsandThieves22
Summary:
"What could Hollander possibly need with Boston social media lady?” Rozanov asked.
“Shane’s in love with her,” Hayden said.
Rozanov’s face did something very weird.
--
Or: after becoming a bit obsessed with solving the Mystery of Boston Lily, Hayden thinks he finally has it figured out. She must work for the Boston Raiders. Now all he has to do is find her next time he's in Boston and tell her that her and Shane shouldn't have to hide their relationship.
Problem is, the only person he can find is Ilya Rozanov, and Rozanov is being a real dick about the whole thing.
NEW Sinking While Swimming by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle
Summary:
“Maybe you don't have to-”
“Uh-uh. No backtracking now.” Hayden pointed a finger at him. “If you tell Shane, fantastic. Would love that, quite frankly, but until you do, I want those goddamn pictures, Rozanov. Am I clear?” Ilya wanted to make some quip about Pike trying to get a different kind of picture out of him, but given the circumstances... He just nodded. “Good. My kids tragically love the fuck out of you, so figure this out.” Ilya nodded again. “Alright then.”
Silence followed. Ilya eventually got up, and Hayden awkwardly walked him to the door.
“Ilya,” he said, surprising him with the first name. “I know what I say doesn’t particularly matter, and I am mainly just a fail-safe for this situation, but…” He opened the front door and clicked his tongue. “For what it’s worth, you’re a good guy and don’t deserve the shit your brain apparently puts you through.”
"I'm a married man, Pike."
Or
Ilya’s depression shifts into some self-harming tendencies, despite how well he can justify most of it. An unexpected cavalry comes together.
(AKA I found a story filled with sex and decided to hone in on my other favorite things: mental health and complex family dynamics)
something you can fix by some1_around
Summary:
Maybe if the video ended there, Shane thought, it would be okay. Okayish. Still incriminating. Still a fucking disaster. Still embarrassing, to have his breakup with this beautiful actress filmed and disseminated on Reddit of all fucking places, but not a nail in his coffin, burying him alive. But the video didn’t end there.
“Can I ask if you’ve ever been with another guy?” she had to ask.
And he, tears visible in his eyes, had to nod.
Just once. Just a single nod.
Why did he have to nod?
“Have you ever told anyone that before?” He shook his head. “Was it different? With a guy?”
“Of course.”
Of course.
“Was it better?”
“Yes.”
+++
Shane’s conversation with Rose is secretly recorded. Months later, after the All-Star game and Ilya’s confession in Russian, the video gets leaked online. Shane is outed to the world while Ilya is in Russia, and must now finish the 2016-2017 season with the entire world in on his secret.
the soviet montage by pressuretoparty
Summary:
"You have to come to the locker room. Now."
Shane frowns. Holds up his notebook. "I'm busy."
"Forget that, man. It's all over the news. Ilya Rozanov has just defected from the Soviet Union."
Red Army superstar Ilya Rozanov defects from the Soviet Union. A Cold War-era hockey au
spectrum by Adrenochrome
Summary:
A study on how Shane Hollander exhibits signs of autism.
or;
Five times Ilya didn't pick up on the signs and one time he did.
Strip It Down by inexplicablymine
Summary:
Ilya can’t believe his eyes. There is a huge twenty-foot-tall photo of his— of Shane Hollander in a pair of Calvin Klein briefs giving the camera his “come fuck me” look.
Or, Shane does a Calvin Klein campaign, Ilya has feelings about it.
NEW Sun in an empty room by theaa (WIP)
Summary:
Shane wanted to hold Ilya’s hand. He wanted to touch something that wasn’t the edge of the exam table, which he currently had in a white-knuckled grip, fingers curled around the edge. Ilya was worried, and Shane had made a mistake in banishing him, and he felt bad about that, and about the oddly sympathetic way the doctor was looking at him. Shane had never felt comfortable being pitied.
“My knee’s fucked,” Shane continued, a little more flatly; under control. It’s what he’d suspected deep down, after all. “And so I can’t play hockey. I’m done.”
they say it's my fault but I want (him) so much by HR (blankjournals)
Summary:
He needs to move, maybe get Rozanov’s attention before he loses his nerves.
And then the room tilts. His vision narrows, red light smearing into pink and white streaks. Shane staggers. The beer slips from his fingers. It shatters, foam splashing his shoes, glass skittering away. His knees give out like someone kicked him, and his hands shoot forward to hold himself upright.
His left palm lands in broken glass, though he doesn't feel it. What he notices is the certainty that everyone sees, that they can smell him—something sour and wrong. His scent, despite patches and care, has turned exposed.
OR: What if we took the club scene from episode 4 and had Shane collapse from experiencing Omega Rejection Syndrome after seeing Ilya dancing with someone else?
Til They Retire Your Number by technicallyverycowboy
Summary:
They lapse back into a comfortable silence. Shane looks at Ilya as he is and thinks about Ilya as he was at seventeen, smoking in the back of a Saskatchewan parking lot. The image is almost unbearably tender for Shane, where his own seventeen year old thrill at seeing Ilya Rozanov meets all the things Shane knows about that lonely boy now.
Shane thinks: Do you love number 81 more than you love this man?
"Hey," Ilya says, brushing his knuckles over Shane's cheek. "Whatever I do, I will be there when you come home."
Ilya decides to retire. Shane is very normal about it.
u might want to get tested by toomuchplor
Summary:
Lily: U might want to get tested
Jane: Hilarious. Fuck you.
===
Set in the liminal situationship timeline between episodes 3 and 4.
United Front by kooksie
Summary:
After Russia crashes and burns at the Olympics, six months pass where Ilya cuts Shane out completely, refusing to answer his texts. So when they both get booked for yet another ad campaign, Shane arrives on set with a strict plan to ignore Ilya entirely.
But then he learns the premise of the entire campaign: making fun of Ilya’s English.
It will take a lot for Shane to forgive him, sure. It won’t take nearly as much for Shane to stand up for him.
we'll be afraid of nothing by satorussuguru
Summary:
“Game is over,” he says. “You won. I lost. I was annoying. Normal.”
“That’s not—” Shane starts, then stops, because he actually doesn't know how to finish that thought without sounding like an idiot. His jaw works, teeth grinding together.
That's not what I meant. That's not the point. You said I was boring and you were right and I need you to say it again so I know where I stand, so I know what you think of me, so I can stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.
He settles for: “You were kind of an asshole.”
Well, That Happened by Franks22
Summary:
“Jesus Christ.” Shane says with feeling.
“Mm, Jesus Christ.” Ilya Rozanov’s voice pipes up behind him.
“Oh god.” Shane says with feeling.
“Yes. Oh god.” Ilya Rozanov’s voice pipes up from behind him.
“Oh shit. Holy fucking shit.” Shane says, swaying a little where he stands. “Am I dying?”
“Pretty sure is panic attack. Place head between knees.”
It was placing his head between knees that got them into this predicament in the first place.
Or
How far can Shane spiral after accidentally bonding with his hockey rival?
Apparently, quite a bit.
white collar crimes by Anonymous
Summary:
So Shane Hollander is, how do you say in English, a dirty little thief. A clothing thief, to be precise. Ilya can't say he saw that coming, but he also can't pretend he's all that mad about it.
His shirt looks good on his Shane. On Shane. On Hollander.
