I Am Both; Poison And Antidote @bothpoisonandantidote - Tumblr Blog

If you’re going through some shit, I won’t tell you to have a good day.

Instead, just have a day. Stay alive.

Eat your meals. Drink water. Breath deeply. Wear something comfortable.

It’ll get better.

But until then, just have a day.

You know what I‘m grieving most?

It’s not even the fact, that I am 23 and I have never been in a relationship.

I have just realised, that even if I’d find someone at some point, I will never be anyone’s first love. I never get to be their first kiss or first anything-else.

That’s the part I’m grieving most.

#couple #love #feelings #latenight thoughts #first love #first kiss #heartbreak #relationship #losing

I wasn’t made for love. Or to be loved. Or to feel love.

And I think, I’m starting to be ok with it.

I might not be able to share my stories with my grandchildren one day, but I’ll write them down.

Maybe one day - in a hundred years time - someone will read them. And maybe that’ll make them realise, that they’re in love with somebody. But just like always… that somebody won’t be me.

And that’s ok, because I’ll be long gone by then.

So yeah, I’m ok with it. I was proven right - that I am just not meant to be loved - so many times. Hell, people even keep telling me, that they can’t imagine someone being in love with me.

I love love and I’d be more than grateful, if I can live a long and healthy life and witness other people’s love. Knowing they’re content, will be enough.

I just know it.

#couple #unloveable #love #ok #hopeless romantics #feelings #my thoughts #sad thoughts #latenight thoughts

Can’t wait to finally reach a weight that is deserving of love

#th1n$po #disordered eating thoughts #to the bone #4norex1a #i wanna be thinner #sk11ny #ed but not sheeran

Someone once told me that I am not someone that you’re in love with or someone that you love endlessly or someone that you would see yourself in a relationship with. I am someone that feels safe and warm and friendly.

I know he meant it in a nice way but I’ve been thinking about it every day and I can tell that it’s starting to hurt more and more everyday.

What do I have to do to be someone that you can actually love - not just like

#alone.#lonely #sad.#crying #depressed.

webelieveinglinda

im so sick!!!! of being mentally ill!!!!!! i wanna be fucking normal!!!! want a normal brain that isnt trying to kill me all the time!!!!!! i wanna be able to go an entire week without a meltdown!!!!!! i did not ask for this!!!!!

I know this might be a lot to read for some people but believe me when I tell you that it’s worth it!

#skinny #thinspo #body #thin #thinspiration #fat #weight loss #ed #ugly #meanspiration #alone #lonely #lost #sad #anxiety #crying #scared #loser #anxious #depressed

toastbutteregg

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for taking up space on this planet. Someone else would probably deserve it more than I do. No, they definitely deserve it more than I do.

I realized just how much I lost myself in these past few months, when my mom got really excited that I put on makeup.

I used to love it but now I feel like I’m just wasting the products because there is nothing that could make me feel better or that could convince me that I might be pretty.

It just doesn’t anymore.