spookyspiritking:
trcshymemes:
GAME GRUMPS SENTENCE STARTERS.Ā
ā God, what if we just fucked one day? ā
ā Donāt sass me in front of the internet. ā
ā Follow your stupid fucking dreams. ā
ā Come at me scrub lord, Iām ripped. ā
ā I just wanna have sex with space. ā
ā Get in the tub with me, daddy. ā
ā Will you just relax and let me kill for money? ā
ā That sounds like your problem. Fuck you. ā
ā Stay in school. Donāt do drugs. Eat your teeth. āĀ
ā Make like a tree and fucking die. ā
ā Dude justā¦just pity laugh at least. ā
ā Man, Club Penguinās gotten weird. ā
ā We are like the Stephen Kings of stupid. ā
ā Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so? ā
ā Do I have to jerk you off to blow your mind? ā
ā I havenāt had so much fun since I killed my parents. ā
ā Unfortunately I had sex with a guy/girl over the weekend. ā
ā Whatās a vegetarian zombie say? GRAAAAAAAINS. ā
ā Revenge is a best dish served fuck you. ā
ā Who wears pants anymore? So 2015. ā
ā I need an ice cream sandwich and a gentle blowjob. ā
ā Donāt let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. ā
ā The bananas has gone bad! ā
ā I cared for those bananas! I raised them with my own two feet! ā
ā Did you know Iām a professional joke? My life is a joke. ā
ā What if everyone just had constant helicopter dick? ā
ā [ name ], does getting me wet fill you with determination? ā
ā I canāt prove that someone ISNāT a reptilian. ā
ā Wouldnāt it be funny if, like, you lost a family member? ā
ā These balls are coming at me fast and furious. Itās like that movie, āSpeedā. āĀ
ā Call me One Direction ācause my relevancy is dropping by the day. āĀ
ā One time I killed a person and I didnāt report it to the police. ā
ā I wanna take a girl to the Grand Canyon, fuck her, and throw her in. āĀ
ā Nothing like a gunshot wound to the face to really mellow someone out. āĀ
ā If I canāt be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst! āĀ
ā [ name ], Iām on a date with a guy/girl right now and youāre embarrassing me. ā
ā Iāve made a decision. Iām gonna in the kitchen, gonna open the dishwasher, and Iām gonna climb inside. ā
ā I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified. ā
ā I could pee on this couch, right now, no problem, while looking you directly in the eyes.āĀ
ā Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyoneās like āyouāre making dad jokes.ā ā
ā All of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are blue, except for three of them. And there are four. āĀ
ā And Abraham said unto Moses, āBro, dude, aliens.ā ā
ā Iām gonna throw you out the window. We donāt even have any windows in this roomā¦Iām gonna carve out a window and throw you through it. āĀ
ā DO IT YOU SACK OF SHIT! ā Sorry. That didnāt come out as encouraging as I meant it to. ā
ā [ name ], if thereās one thing I can be totally honest about, itās that I would happily lie to your face.ā
ā If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else. ā
ā Next time we make love, [ name ], would you please refer to me as your sweet cakey treasure? ā Ā Ā
ā I try to show at least one other human-being my butt hole every single day. ā
ā The only people who donāt like sluts are the people who donāt get any. āĀ
ā Have you ever though of a career in driving people fucking insane? Because you are already a PRO at it. āĀ
ā I am actively looking for ways to get you to shut the fuck up. ā
ā First of all, you have to stop calling it āMary Jane.ā Thatās the first rule of stonerdom. People will think youāre a fucking narc. ā
ā First of all, no one says āpot-eyesā, you fuckinā narc. ā
ā If by OK you mean like on the inside Iām just going āAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!ā then yes, Iām quite OKĀ ā
ā When you walk outside there are three elements of nature that you must avoid: snow, wind, and bees. āĀ
ā Could you imagine if you unlocked outfits in real life? Like, āCongratulations you wiped your ass, hereās a new shirt.ā ā















