random twitter posts x Heated Rivalry part 3/?

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random twitter posts x Heated Rivalry part 3/?
I think sheâs using me for my terrible looks and bad penis and no money
can i come over and touch your things and belongings
you know how sometimes people find their purpose in life and it's so obviously the thing they were put on this earth to do? like those people who are crazy good at tossing pizza dough or solving rubiks cubes or reciting a million digits of pi from memory? yeah that's hudson williams with simulating orgasms on camera
Activated them like sleeper agents
eva stratt they could never make me hate you
there are songs i hear and go âman there is no way anyone actually listens to thisâ and then you hear it on the radio 300 times a day and the album is nominated for a grammy and there are fans who spend every dollar they have on merch and concert tickets to sold out stadiums of people who all love that song. and you wonder if maybe youâre the one whoâs wrong but then you hear it again and decide that nope, youâre right and everyone else has lost their minds
I keep laughing at this screencap I took of a comment in the world cup subreddit btw
when god closes a door you reach your little paws under it and go mrrwwaaaooow mmreeaaow
bringing this one back for morale
There are many people who donât share this sentiment, but I have an appreciation for when a fanfic is so separated from canon that it couldâve easily been its own original novel, and yet the author was only ever going to put that much energy into it if their favourite characters got to be there
I think thereâs a difference between âthe author stripped the media of everything it had to replace it with something easyâ and âthe author thought up a concept they really really like and are bestowing it upon the character like a medalâ
I don't smoke but I think smokers have the right idea going outside for 10 mins every few hours to participate in a vice. I think regardless of what the vice is that is the only way to stay sane
I think Emily Wilson just killed Christopher nolan
someone tell OP i did it, i spent about 3 hours on it
One flag to rule them all
Rose is going Yeah I really hate giving head & kind of prefer it when a guy just goes down on me so I can just zone out the entire time. I hate when they have a beard though haha but I really like long hair. It just sucks because they always wanna talk to me during. Itâs like oh my god the girls Iâd make out with during theater camp were always so much better at this yâknow? And Shane is googling ârestaurants where I can have a private conversation near meâ
Shane takes her to a nice restaurant with low lighting & not many people around & gives her the same âI donât think men are really doing it for youâ speech. & Rose is just giggling going âokay sure Shane. Come on look at me, I donât even look, yâknowâŠâ & Shane is like babe you canât even say the word. Thereâs no way to LOOK gay, do I look gay? & Rose rolls her eyes (sheâs still giggling so hard almost frantic) & says that itâs different for girls. You can always tell with girls. & Shane says thatâs so illogical & he can prove it. He pulls up Svetlanaâs instagram & slides his phone over the table to her. âThatâs Ilyaâs BISEXUAL best friend, does she look, âyâknow.ââ & Rose is giggling even HARDER but her cheeks are bright pink & her eyes are a little panicked. She slides the phone back over to Shane & thanks him for a lovely meal but says she just remembered she has a shoot in the morning. He should send her Sveltanaâs instagram though. For no reason.
My new period-appropriate crack headcanon is that the boston raiders once used akinator to figure out who montreal jane is and it kept telling them if was shane hollander and they kept thinking it was the weirdest fucking bug