dah bouncing penguin

i will be a penguin someday. but for now i just have a tumblr.

[bouncingpenguin]

My version of Straight White Men would be called "Stale Pale Males"

But it would be about three leftover breadsticks at Olive Garden.

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There's nothing gay about Hippolytus.

Sarah Kane, Phaedre’s Love

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How to Write a Eulogy, or What I Learned from 2018

1) It hurts. 2) Water has healing properties. Rain. Sea. To swim, to sweat, to sob. 3) But healing is not erasing or fixing. Scars can hurt less but you can still see them. 4) You cannot heal those who are no longer with us. 5) But remembering also has healing properties. For you. And maybe others. 6) Take your time. See point 1. 7) There is no such thing as the "right words," so just pick the ones you like. There are, however, funnier words. For example, bamboozle. 8) To miss someone is an impossible and strange thing. 9) Sometimes the world cranks out hideous creatures called humans. Sometimes the world also gifts magnificent unicorns called souls. Be grateful for the souls. 10) Ask for help. There is no such thing as "cost" for people who love you to help you. And if they can't help you, it's not because they don't love you, it's because they have their own shit to deal with and the world is a turd. 11) Speaking of which, timing can suck sometimes. 12) Try. Go. Smell. Listen. And end with a joke or a song.

Goodbye, 2018, you cruel, gorgeous, crazy, generous earthquake. You gave me new heights to "highs" and "lows", introduced me to some beautiful people and places that I will not forget, and reunited me with so many people and places I still cherish. See you, never.

My New Year's resolution is 2560 x 1440 😎

[bouncingpenguin]

I miss my mother. She is extraordinarily gone.

Lisa D’Amour, Anna Bella Eema

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Please, Mother, don't be obscure! William Faulkner can be obscure, but NOT YOU!

Lisa D’Amour, Anna Bella Eema

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I am only 10 years old but she fills me with the rage of a powerless middle-ages man.

Lisa D’Amour, Anna Bella Eema

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I think of the entire universe as a spot of mildew on the leaf of a sycamore tree, floating on thin air--in an absolutely gigantic soup tureen.

Mac Wellman, Murder of Crows

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I always imagined God as a great, big, shiny, black radio. A radio a mile square, made out of something really light and durable, Bakelite maybe.

Mac Wellman, Murder of Crows

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Fun with Engl(/r)ish Sorta

So there is this Japanese comedy show that I watch called Mechaike led by this comedy duo I love called Ninety-Nine. The show is just plain silly but my FAVORITE thing is every year they surprise Japanese celebrities with a pop quiz–actually it’s a pop exam that tests middle-school-level material in 5 standard school subjects: Japanese, Math, Science, Social Studies, and of course, my absolute favorite, English. They then go over some of their individual incorrect answers and the poor “students” have to endure the humiliation. The answers are, um, creative sometimes, but hey, do you remember anything you learned in middle school? Below were the highlights from this year’s English section (with my commentary) because they are just so ridiculous and I need to share them with someone. If you ever wondered why so much of printed English in Japan is incorrect, well, now you know. If “(Japanese)” comes before it, I translated the answer/question from Japanese.

Please answer the following English question in English Question: How are you? Answer 1: I hain saikyou Answer 2: You are you?

I love that “I hain saikyou” is like barely the gist of the vowel sounds in “I’m fine, thank you.”

Please translate the following Japanese words into English (Japanese) Breakfast    Lunch      Dinner Answers:    Brekfast      Toofast     Midnightfast

(Japanese) 1      10      100         1000 Answers:     One Ten    Oneten   Onetenten

(Japanese) January February March April May June July August September October November December Answers: Anvarsar Randret Chainareu Aprlru Feverare Ohdorey Juraai Oktpas SheShenbar Oktowbay Daibay Fainal

I HIGHLY recommend saying these out loud.

Please translate the following Japanese phrases into English (Japanese) What will be the result be if I roll the dice? Answer: This saikoro to naniga.

“Saikoro” is Japanese for “dice”, “naniga” means “what”.

Please translate the following English phrases into Japanese Failure teaches success. Answer (Japanese): Teaching soccer with a flute.

Killing two birds with one stone. Answer (Japanese): On top of a bird for two years, on top of a stone for one year.

The teacher put it nicely when he said, “If you can sit on a bird for two years, why could you only sit on the stone for one? Isn’t sitting on a bird more difficult? It’s probably dead by then, right?”

Damon took a bath after he had done the dishes. Answer (Japanese): After his birthday, his head exploded.

They provided a nice visual aid for this one:

Christina’s job is to read the news clearly and carefully. Answer (Japanese): Cheese works great with this cauliflower curry.

The teacher kindly made this guy a cauliflower curry with cheese in it. It was apparently delicious.

[bouncingpenguin]

This is Kara. She’s from a small town in Vermont. She’s a cocktail waitress in the club and a model and a former ballerina. Her long toned legs go on for miles. We’re friends but just standing next to her makes me feel like a human potato.

Susan Soon He Stanton, we, the invisibles

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You can't get on the train just because the door is open! It might be taking you in the wrong direction!

Virginia Grise, Siempre Norteada: Always Late. Always Lost.

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Silence. There is a noise as if an immense wheel were turning and moving the air. A hurricane separates them. At the same time, two Stars are seen colliding and from them fall a series of legs of living flesh with feet, hands, scalps, masks, colonnades, porticos, temples, alembics, falling more and more slowly, as if in a vacuum: then three scorpions, one after another, and finally a frog and a beetle which come to rest with desperate slowness – nauseating slowness.

Antonin Artaud, Jet of Blood

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My Theatrical Favorites of 2016

Done. I can’t believe I did the thing.

[the-movemnt-deactivated20170912]

Jessica Williams gave a speech the protesters at the Women’s March in Park City would never forget

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[bouncingpenguin]

My Theatrical Favorites of 2016

translated and translated again from William Shakespeare's Henry V, Henry VI (Parts 1-3), and Richard III directed by Ivo van Hove at BAM as part of the Next Wave Festival

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My Theatrical Favorites of 2016

written by Suzan-Lori Parks directed by Lileana Blain-Cruz at Signature Theatre Company

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My Theatrical Favorites of 2016

written by Qui Nguyen directed by May Adrales at the Manhattan Theatre Club