yooo i love ur writings sm dude! thank u for providing the MUCH needed and appreciated rolan n dammon food ! if ur still accepting and willing to write for a more masc reader, would u do hcs with rolan (and/or dammon, idc :>) with a top/dom inclined reader? :]
BLESS your patience, anon! I got lost in writing a smut fic for this request this week. But you asked for headcanons, so it doesn't feel fair to make you keep waiting! In thanks, please expect a Rolan x m!Tav oneshot soon. 🖤
Rolan x top/dom M!Reader: Relationship Headcanons
[SFW + NSFW both under the cut]
SFW
This wizard has a serious case of oldest sibling disorder
Rolan can be downright bossy, because a lot of his self identity rests on feeling powerful and in control of things
On a deeper level, Rolan is just used to being the one taking care of the people he loves. Having the scenario flipped—being taken care of for once—it throws him off balance
Falling for a guy who takes the lead and takes initiative might honestly cause Rolan a mild identity crisis without him realizing. He’ll deny the feelings for a week or two, stewing and blushing and unintentionally broadcasting his crush to anyone around him
This was not the plan. So why does he keep daydreaming about you picking him up princess style and tossing him down onto your bed
Inside Rolan’s dying to get swept off his feet and lavished, he just doesn’t know it yet
Maybe it finally clicks for him the first time you pull Rolan close and murmur all your appreciation into his pointed ear
Rolan is so weak for praise and so, so hungry for it, especially from you
He can’t help but melt inside when you tell him how good he is, how clever and competent, how much he deserves to feel incredible and how much you’d enjoy being the one to make him feel that way
Kiss him afterward and feel Rolan whimper softly against your mouth as he goes a bit limp in your arms. He’s entirely yours
He’s not only falling in love with you, he’s discovering a whole side of himself he never gave himself time or permission to explore
But you? You make him feel loved and completely safe
Rolan will occasionally come to you to pout or complain about trivial things, just to get a kiss and hear you assure him you’ll take care of it for your sweet little mage
He’s still flustered by how much he enjoys it at first, even more so when he feels himself flush and stiffen under his robes
Rolan also becomes addicted to the feeling of being wrapped up in your arms
Your arm draped on his shoulder: your hands looped around his waist to keep him tucked in close while you’re kissing: and especially your forearms caging him in against the wall while you grind against each other
Rolan’s still proud, so it’s not easy for him to admit or ask for these things out loud unless you’re alone
But even in a public setting, he will sometimes appear close beside your shoulder and glance over at you with a wordless request that means please hold me a bit, I’m tired/lonely/needy for you
If you don’t notice fast enough, Rolan might softly brush your hand or loop his tail low around your calf to get your attention. You’re the one who awakened these feelings in him, and by the hells he’s not going to be ignored now
Face it: you have unleashed needy sub Rolan upon yourself, you’ll just have to dom up and deal with the consequences
NSFW:
When you’re fucking him, Rolan can be somehow vulnerable and teasing/demanding all at the same time
Old habits die hard…so might Rolan if you don’t give him what he needs
Rolan knows the right word from you or the right gesture pinning his wrist or thigh can get him dangerously close to losing it, and some nights that makes him feel rebellious
He has a smart mouth even in bed, and provoking you excites him sometimes
‘Gods, I bet I can finish myself before you do—’ Rolan’s grip closes around his own hard cock as your slickened fingers gently and slowly prepare him
Other nights he has absolutely zero fight in him. Just a soft pile of Tiefling clinging to the man he loves as he kisses across your shoulders, asking you to take him while you tell him that he’s more than good enough
Rolan may try to hide it (that or he’ll make zero effort), but he’s weak for any time you order him around or direct him
‘Get on your hands and knees’ ‘Spread for me like a good boy, Rolan’ ‘Stop biting your lip or I’ll bite it for you—go on and let everyone hear who makes you feel this good, that’s it—’
It all gets him so needy for your cock that he can’t say no to any of it until you’re filling him
His favorite positions are usually the ones that let him hold onto you for even more closeness—missionary, against his desk in the Tower, etc.
Of course, those don't give him a chance to hide his reactions from you, so you’ll occasionally see him blush dark or squeeze his eyes shut or bite back the sounds you coax out of him
Alternatively: just tell Rolan he thinks too much and fuck him into his mattress so hard he can’t think about anything else at all including his own ego
The way he clutches your shoulders for dear life and pants your name will let you know how much Rolan loves it (and you)
I am a firm believer that Raphael either really very sucks at aftercare or doesn't do any at all. Fortunately, Haarlep is here and he's good at it as least, but could also be king of aftercare at best
Hey Anon, sorry this took so long for me to get to life has been crazy.
I think that objectively Raphael would suck at aftercare, especially at the beginning of whatever arrangement he has with Tav. Raphael is a selfish lover, he is definitely the type to wanna take his partner apart and not deal with the aftermath. Tav is lucky to have Haarlep there, I believe that he would be the type to find pleasure in the aftermath of sex and enjoys the intimacy of cleaning and taking care of his partners.
I do think that over time as Raphael became begrudgingly attached to his little mouse that he wouldn’t be so quick to return to his work. Haarlep would still be the main caretaker, but Raphael would be stick around to let Tav seek him out and give some hellishly warm cuddles.
Raphael would also learn that his little mouse is much more pliable and willing when he partakes in their silly mortal needs. And he doesn’t have to tackle the fact that maybe a part of him enjoys it as well.
Searing pain rips through your core with each crack of the leather strap against your ass. Thwip! You cry out, head falling forward between your shoulders. Haarlep grins at your reactions, arm rearing back to land another deliciously hot blow to your bruised skin. Thwip! Trembling hands search the silk sheets beneath you for a place to hold onto. Anything to distract you from the well deserved lashes. Your legs tremble beneath you, barely holding up your bent over frame.
"You've stopped counting, Mouse. Shall I begin again?"
You shake your head furiously, sweat dripping from your brows and into your eyes, dark hair falling around your shoulders and face, slick with sweat.
"N-No.. That was f-fifteen.."
Haarlep leans down towards your smarting flesh, tongue flicking out to collect the little beads of blood forming along the whip lines. Without warning, another smack lands against your skin and you jolt forward, hoping to escape the force of the leather strap. Thwip!
"Sixteen!"
Tears well up in your glossy green eyes, eyelashes dusted with little droplets of both tears and salty sweat. Raphael tuts from the corner of the room. He stands, approaching the scene with a slow walk, a cat stalking it's prey. Warm fingers trace along the globes of your ass. You hiss at the friction against your fresh wounds, practically purring now when Raphael's fingers dip to your dripping cunt.
"Don't let her fool you, Haarlep. Look at just how wet she is for us."
Raphael lifts his fingers, index and middle stretching apart to window pane your slick between them, the clear fluid stretching into a thin film. Haarlep groans at the sight, landing a harder lash to your left ass cheek, the very tip of the strap leaving a mark on the small of your back. Two more lashes follow in quick succession. Raphael reaches out and stops a fourth lash from connecting to your abused skin, grasping the leather strap and yanking it from Haarlep's hands quickly. Haarlep wines and sits on his knees obediently. The devil reaches down to grab a fistful of your hair, yanking your head up so the rest of your body follows. He presses your back to his chest and wraps a large hand around your throat, fingers pressing just enough to your arteries that your vision goes fuzzy. Hot lips coast along your earlobe.
"Ready to apologize for disobeying me?"
You chew your bottom lip in further defiance, a grin twisting your thin lips upwards. Haarlep giggles and points at you, grinding his hips into the firm mattress, cock straining against the small leather harness.
"Let me ruin her, Raphael. Please. Pretty please. She's not sorry. Let me make her sorry!"
You spit at the incubus and Raphael hisses into your ear, leather strap slapping swiftly against your outer thigh. A strained cry forces itself from your throat and he shoves you forward onto the bed, kicking your legs apart. Haarlep crawls towards you slowly, fingers walking their way up your arm, over your shoulder, and across your shoulder blades before snaking their way into your hair and shoving your face into the bed. You grunt at the force, hips bucking backwards towards Raphael. He lands another hit against your other thigh and you let out a muffled whine into the sheets, hands grasping in front of you to attempt to push yourself back up for air. Haarlep doubles down, pressing your face even harder into the mattress, a breathy chuckle rumbling in his chest at your pure suffering. The harsh sting of nails makes you cry out, Raphael scratching one long stripe down your spine, blood pooling in the dimples of your lower back. Haarlep growls to himself, palming at his painfully erect cock.
"Can I have her now? You've had plenty of fun.."
The incubus whines up at Raphael, earning a smack to his cheek. A quick hand reaches out to grasp the sides of his face, cheeks squishing together and lips puckering out.
"Wait. Your. Turn."
Raphael releases Haarlep's face with a rough shove and turns his attention back to you, hands rubbing up and down the sides of your thighs gently, extra pressure being applied to the swollen lines from the leather strap. In one swift motion, Raphael scoops you into his arms and tosses you fully onto the bed, body jostling around like a corpse. You grunt on impact, not daring to move any more than Raphael has already allowed you to. After the lashing you've received so far, and the plenty more to come, you consider disobeying Raphael regularly. Warm slick coats your inner thighs and you squeeze them together tightly, doing all you kind to mask your enjoyment, your cunt throbbing for release. Raphael follows you up onto the bed, shedding his coat and shirt in the process. Rough hands force your legs down on either side of him, Haarlep joining in to help restrain your wrists above your head. You wiggle beneath the two men and whimper.
"I can't wait to stretch you out, little mouse."
Two pairs of warm lips immediately attach to your nipples, tongues and teeth fighting with the sensitive buds. You tilt your head back into the bed, back bowing off of the bed, the hot pain from the marks on your ass making your legs shudder.
"Gods, p-please.."
"Gods? Aha! There are none of those here."
Haarlep chuckles against your breast and bites down roughly, leaving little pin holes in a perfect circle. Raphael eagerly kicks off his boots and leathers, angry red cock springing up, a bead of pre-cum collecting in the little slit at the tip. His hands move underneath your thighs and lift your legs up and apart as far as your hips will allow, exposing your sopping wet cunt to him. He licks his lips, thrusting his hips slowly to rub his cock against your hole.
"Beg for it, mouse."
Your hips buck upwards, begging for friction. You whine. Mewl. Cry out for his touch. You're so far beyond begging now. You need him to fuck you or you feel you might keel over.
"Please, Raphael. Please stretch me out. Make me pay for my sins."
"Oh, how delicious."
Heat rises in your spine and into your head, brain practically boiling in your skull. Raphael lands a rough smack to your clit before shoving his cock inside of you, every inch filling you up so well. Your walls tighten around him and he grunts loudly at the sudden grip. Oh, fuck. He's much larger than you anticipated. He bottoms out inside of you, the tip of his cock pressing into your cervix, sweet pain sending shockwaves deep into your belly. The air around you thickens. Time slows down. Raphael thrusts furiously into to your cunt, each movement stretching you more and more. Haarlep lays on his stomach to watch the delicious display, cooing into your ear to earn extra moans and whimpers from his words. His hand reaches down to rub agonizingly slow circles onto your clit, rearing back to occasionally land a harsh smack to the bundle of nerves. Each slap makes you tighten around Raphael and he digs his nails into your thighs, little rivulets of blood staining his fingernails. You pant heavily at the combinations of sounds and sensations. You want more. Crave more. Drool pools in the back of your throat as the devil fucks into you with delectable speed.
Haarlep sits up with a sudden idea, crawling to the end of the bed to whisper into Raphael's ear. With a grin, Raphael pulls away from you and you whine loudly at the sudden emptiness.
"N-No, please!"
"Patience, mouse. Patience. You'll thoroughly enjoy what is coming next, I swear it."
Haarlep's voice is thick and sweet like honey, gentle fingers keeping contact with your clit just enough to make you whimper. The air sizzles around you like a camp fire, heat and flames licking over your skin with a fury you've never known. You shield your eyes with your forearm. "A-Ah.." The heaviness around you makes you dizzy, lungs burning, skin seemingly melting where you lay. Haarlep claps in excitement as Raphael's human form shreds to pieces in front of you, a tall, flaming monster with massive wings and teeth to match climbing out of the husk. You gasp loudly, backing away from the edge of the bed and into Haarlep's open arms.
"Shh, little one. You're in for such a mouthwatering treat."
The large creature reaches out to you, claws burying themselves into the flesh of your plush thighs, anchoring there. You shriek at the sudden burn of pain and blood. Terror makes your heart thump audibly behind your chest as Haarlep holds you in place, the monster mounting you where Raphael once was. The boiling heat of his skin makes you writhe beneath him. Never have you been stricken with such fear as you are right now, the impending doom of being fucked into oblivion by this creature making you sweat profusely. And yet. You're aroused. Painfully and desperately aroused. Your teeth grasp onto your bottom lip and chew, wet eyes blinking up at the monster that took Raphael's place. You part your legs sheepishly, inviting it in. Haarlep groans happily, hand resuming its place on your clit, rubbing in clockwise circles. Head falling back against his chest, you close your eyes and wait. Wait for the pain. The being in front of you moves in, lining it's massive cock up with your aching cunt. With a slow thrust it begins its descent into your depths, stretching you to capacity. You cry out, Haarlep whispering little praises into your ear as you take the pain gracefully. His hand continues to work your nub.
"Yes.. So good, mouse. So obedient. So ready for Raphael. Such a good little pet you are."
You mewl at his praises, eyes rolling back into your head. The pain is intense. Delicious. Paralyzing. Raphael removes his claws from your thighs and grasps your hips, tugging you closer to him, hips rolling into you with each small thrust. Your cunt shows much resistance to his size, fiery jolts of pain zapping your spine each time he plows into you. The mix of pain and pleasure nearly makes your heart stop. You reach for Haarlep's comforting embrace, only being met with his rough hands grabbing at your wrists and holding them down, forcing you to succumb to stillness.
"Don't move. Be a good girl and stay still."
The monster above you howls into the air, thrusts losing any sense of rhythm as it rapidly nears its end. His claws find purchase in the globes of your ass and without warning, he flips you over, Haarlep carefully moving moving himself out of the way. You lift your ass into the air, keening when the monstrous being slides out of you to adjust its position. You pant into the bed heavily. Raphael lifts you up and lies down on the blood soaked sheets where you once rested, placing you carefully on top of him. Your skin sizzles on contact with his and you hiss loudly. Little heat blisters speckle your skin and you whine in pain, moving yourself away from the source.
"Poor mouse.. Would the healing pool make this easier for you?"
You nod, chewing your lips apprehensively. Haarlep eyes the monster for a moment, earning a nod of approval. Careful hands lift you up into Haarlep's strong arms and he crosses the boudoir to the large pool of warm water near the front of the room. He lowers your trembling body into the water and you hiss at the temperature before settling on the bottom, eyes fluttering closed. The wounds on your back and ass begin to heal slowly, the harsh sting of the lashes dissipating. Your skin tingles in the healing liquid. "Better?" You nod enthusiastically, soaking for just a moment more before standing and ascending the stairs of the pool. Haarlep holds a helping hand out to you and you slide your fingers into his. You eagerly climb back into the bed to Haarlep's surprise, quickly mounting the monster that lies there. Without hesitation you line yourself up with the massive cock beneath you, sliding onto it with a thunderous groan. Haarlep moves behind you to hold you steady.
"Mm, so eager. What's changed? Such a brave little mouse you are. So proud of you."
You grin and grind your hips back and forth, jaw falling slack at the overwhelmingly painful stretch of your cunt, your slick not being enough lubricant for the monster's girth. Haarlep pops a thumb into his mouth, tongue swirling around the digit to moisten it with as much saliva as he can muster. You lean forward onto the monster, breasts sizzling against his molten chest. A loud yelp bursts from your throat as Haarlep forces his slick thumb into your puckered asshole, the digit sliding in and out with plenty of resistance. The monster beneath you growls emphatically, claws digging into your thighs where they once held purchase, blood spilling from the new puncture wounds. The speed of your hips picks up considerably, fucking yourself on the massive cock stretching you so deliciously. Haarlep replaces his thumb with his own aching cock, the sudden sensation making you cry out into the air, head falling between your shoulders as his presses his chest to your back. The three of you rock in tandem. A strong hand wraps around your throat making you straighten upwards, another reaching down to work your clit in painfully fast and rough motions. First in circles, then side to side, loud moans and whines melding together into incoherent babbles.
"That's it, pet. Scream for us. Let the Hells know who you belong to!"
The slaps of skin on skin echoes through the boudoir. Hips clash, claws rip through flesh, blood covers skin and sheets alike. Your vision blurs from the ecstasy. Raphael snaps beneath you, teeth chattering as he holds you down on his rigid cock. Suddenly, molten cum spews into your fluttering walls, the creature beneath you panting and growling in pure pleasure. You grin down at him, fingertips tracing the spikes and veins on his hot skin. Flames rise around you, skin scorching at the pure heat of it all. You cry out and Haarlep holds onto you tightly. Raphael's human form reappears beneath you, naked and completely spent. He pants loudly. You gape around his softened cock, cum, blood, and slick mixing together and dripping down his hips in a deliciously grotesque concoction. He smirks up at you and holds you in place as Haarlep continues to fuck into your ass, thrusts so rough they send you lurching forward. The incubus grasps a handful of your hair and yanks your head back, the fingers of his free hand still working furiously at your clit. That very familiar knot of pleasure winds in your belly. You scream but nothing comes out. Only hot air. Raphael chuckles loudly.
"She's so close, Haarlep. Finish her off. You're doing such a good job."
Haarlep moans loudly at Raphael's praise, hips halting as he suddenly spills his warm seed into your ass, continuing his harsh thrusts to throw you over the edge. Trembling hands grasp at anything to keep you steady and you gasp, orgasm crashing over your body, hot like the very hellfire that surrounds you. You buck your hips against Haarlep's still swirling fingers. Raphael lifts you off of him carefully and Haarlep slides his cock out of you, only to switch holes. He spins you around, sweaty bodies pressing together tightly and he continues to fuck into your spent cunt. Tears spill out of your eyes, loud sobs driving Haarlep to move harder. Faster. Hungrier. Bouncing you on his still adamantine cock, he steps off of the bed, moving towards the pool of healing. He lowers the two of you into the water, a gentle hiss sounding from the water cooling your scorching skin and making steam rise around your bodies. You grasp Haarlep's shoulders, begging and pleading for him to stop. To let you breathe. Anything to calm to intense overstimulation. And yet, another orgasm builds rapidly in your depths. Your walls tighten around him, milking him to his second climax. Raphael watches from the bed, fingers playing in the mixture pooled on his abdomen.
You're thrown over the edge without warning. Nails tearing at Haarlep's shoulders, blood trickling into the otherwise clear water around you. He grunts in ecstasy, cock twitching furiously inside of you as you grip onto him before falling completely limp in his arms. He chuckles and releases you to float in front of him. You blink your eyes up at the ceiling of the boudoir, blood rushing in your ears, the soothing water calming the violent pulsating in your core. A comfortable sigh escapes your heaving chest and you steady yourself in the pool, eyes flicking back and forth between Haarlep's tired body and Raphael, who is now sitting on the edge of the bed. He stands, moving towards the pool to descend into the blood tinted liquid, exhaling heavily at the comforting release of the ache in his muscles. You paddle towards him, nuzzling up to his warm chest, fingers toying with the course hair swaying in the gentle waves of the water. Strong arms press you into him and he places a gentle kiss on the top of your head. You sigh happily in your master's arms.
"Don't think I've forgiven you for what you've done. Rest up, mouse. You'll need it."
A/N: Look, Ascended Fiend won the poll. By. A. Lot. I’ll probably do something longer later. But here’s something short. Gif is gonna. Help hide the sin under the cut.
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Ascended!Raphael x Tav/Reader (GN), 18+ Plz
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You’re shaking, and every muscle aches.
Stretched. Full. Burning.
It’s hard to think beyond that. Haarlep pets your hair, cooing to you, fingers still slick with lube. They’ve worked you open, spreading you beyond what should have been possible. The incubus tips your head up and presses their thumb to your lower lip, slick with spit. They kiss you, pressing their tongue deep into your mouth, and the pleasure screams through your body. “Good, good, you’re doing so well, little mouse.”
The creature behind you howls its approval, its grip on your hips tightening. The claws tear into flesh; it should hurt, it should, but nothing registers beyond the stretch. You claw at the stone, searching for purchase. Haarlep laughs, one hand settling on your shoulder, holding you in place as the ascended fiend fucks into you.
Too much. Too much. You have no way of knowing how much of Raphael you’ve taken, but there is always more. And gods above and below, he keeps pressing, keeps tugging you closer, keeps panting in your ear, tongue laving out to taste the corner of your mouth.
“Look at you.” Haarlep pushes you back onto the fiend's cock. “Mmm, he likes you, mouse. But you can take more, hmm? Tell us you can.” Don't disappoint them, mouse.
You nod. Your thighs ache, but you manage to spread them wider. Raphael makes a sound dangerously close to a purr, rumbling through your chest, your skull. The heat flares, pushing the limits of the fire immunity potion. You pant, working yourself back. You want more. It's good, so good, so much...you whimper, hungry as you come apart again. Raphael clutches you tighter, hips jerking in response to your pleasure. If anything, it makes him hungrier.
Haarlep clucks their tongue and bends to lick into your mouth. Nudges your legs open with their feet, hands massaging your hips. The muscles scream in protest, your mind nearly breaking at the tenderness.
The fiend takes every inch you give; takes what it needs, halfway feral. Haarlep nods to it, and it fucks you harder, leaving you screaming into the House of Hope. You can’t move; it takes too much effort, but Raphael is so happy to make up for the lapse. Conscious thought leaves you. There’s only the occasional press of Haarlep’s lips, the thunder of blood in your ears, and the fiend, the stretch, the pleasure and pain threatening to tear you apart.
Mizora turning Wyll into a devil (at least physically) has gotten me think about how Raphael and Haarlep would eventually have to make a decision on what to do with their little mortal.
Even if Tav was a long living race, hundreds of years doesn’t compare to the longevity the two face. Normally Raphael is content to not mess with the balance of life and death, not particularly caring to extend someone’s life unless it happens to aid him in some way.
Raphael decides that their little mouse can do much more serving them in life rather than death and graciously turns them into a devil. After all he did mean it when he told then they would never be leaving the House of Hope.
Tw: Bdsm dynamics, possibly not safe nor sane. GN Tav
Raphael
Is a bit of a two sided coin when it comes to his “Dom” style because while he is very strict about rules he also can’t help but hope Tav tries to fond loop holes. He finds it almost cute to watch his little mouse grasp at the little straws they do have, and he wont complain about another reason to punish them.
How strict he is is definitely dependent on his mood. On good days he will find it charming for Tav to push his buttons, but if he has had a bad day Tav better expect to feel exactly how bad it was.
Out of the two Raphael is the disciplinarian. He decides how punishments will be handed out.
We all know Raphael loves his possessions and in many ways that extends to his little mouse. His possessiveness often show itself in the clothing Tav wears and markings on their skin. Tav will always have bruises in various stages of healing on display for visitors to see.
He takes a certain pride in knowing that he was able to tame the mighty adventurer that everyone tells stories about. He doesn’t let them leave the House of Hope often, but when they do he makes sure they are clad in the finest silks with a infernal collar at the center of it all.
A very selfish lover, makes it clear that he is in control and will do as he wants until he is satisfied. Tavs overstimulated cries and whines only spur him to tease them more to hear their song.
Brat enabler, he is constantly encouraging Tav to be naughty and push Raphaels buttons.
Very “Tav-centric”, while he also loves to tease Tav he ultimately does it in a way that is more focused on the pleasure Tav is receiving.
Is almost never the one to administer discipline unless instructed by Raphael.
Much more open with his affection, has no shame in showing Tav that they are his favorite and is constantly reminding them of this fact. It isn’t rare to find them cuddling in various places in the House of Hope.
While Raphael marks them in various sadistic ways, Haarlep leaves trails of hickeys painted on Tavs skin. You can find them everywhere, crawling down their neck across their chest, and between their thighs.
One of his favorite things to do to tease Tav is shape into their form and touch himself, he can’t help but chuckle as he hears their feet pounding on the floor as they run to the boudoir.
I need Raphael and Haarlep simps in my inbox. I need your headcanons, your prompts, anything you want me to write about or simply just your horny thoughts.
If I had a nickel for every time I romanced a gruff video game character who liked to whittle, I would have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it is weird that it happened twice.
Just wanted to be gushy on main for a moment and say that I love you so much @bound-vivisection .
Choosing to message you that one day that I did brought a light to the darkness I thought was going to remain permanently there for me, but you kept reaching out and eventually, I trusted you and you helped walk me out of there.
I wasn’t exactly expecting to meet my boyfriend through his kink blog, but I did, and I was even luckier that you were somehow smitten with me too, even though I was a mess recovering from a traumatic ER stay, finding out I will be living the rest of my life with the risk of may needing a kidney transplant in the future if I don’t take care of them now, and during a time when I was very, very isolated and afraid of people for over a year after somebody I loved and trusted betrayed me, lied about me to many, told others I would never be able to change the patterns I had been working on for years, and revealed himself to have been an abusive person who took advantage of me and had an extreme power dynamic over me and he was one of the many factors as to why I got a diagnosis of PTSD early this year.
That was…a lot. And although I felt awful at the time for opening up to you during a time of extreme pain and depression, and an existential crisis and conflict from the trauma that left me lost, and you weren’t even someone I knew very well yet…
You encouraged me to talk to you.
You encouraged me to not be silent.
You made sure I took care of myself and my health.
You were there many nights when I was crying all alone and no one got back to me (which no one is ever obligated to of course, but lord, I had never felt that type of loneliness since I was a child), you’ve shown me kindness I was beginning to forget felt like.
I gradually began to fall in love with you, and it became clearer over time it was mutual, and then eventually, we told each other.
You make me smile and laugh every single day, and you’ve been extremely supportive of me this entire time as I’ve sought therapy and help, and you’re helping me see the person I actually am underneath all the pain that I wasn’t sure was there anymore, I know now I’m not defined by my past or the bad experiences in my life.
I feel alive again. I haven’t felt alive in a long time. And while a lot of that can be said was done because of myself alone, you played a huge role in helping me bloom again.
I just…love you. So much. And I’m eternally thankful for our path crossing all due to our silly shared Stranger Things ship and the need for more trans representation when it comes to sexual intimacy in media.
This isn’t normally the kind of stuff I write, so I will try not to be too cringe.
I truly believe that I am the lucky one out of this situation. Despite everything you trusted me, and that is a gift that I will always cherish. I can’t do anything to reverse the wrongs that were done to you, but I am gonna try my hardest to make sure the future treats you right.
Loving you has healed part of me that I can’t put into words. Everyday I wake up and know that I have a precious boy waiting for me, and I feel lucky that you allow me to take care of you.
I am excited to navigate the next portion of our lives together. The next few months are going to be introducing a lot of firsts for us, and I can’t think of anyone else I would rather have by my side.
I’m proud of the person you are, and the amount of growth you have accomplished in such a short time. I want to remind you that all of this hard work was 100% you, I am just happy to be a bystander and offer encouragement.
I want to continue to grow along with you for years to come. Because you reached out to me I now have a life long partner and friends, thank you for that gift.
miss seeing you on my dash, hope you’re doing okay!!☺️
Hey there! I hope you are doing well.
Honestly things have been a bit stressful. I got a new job recently, learned everything with that. It pays great and I really enjoy it. I found out a couple weeks ago that they are closing the facility (I work in the mental health field) and that the company wants to pay to relocate me.
I was wanting to move anyway, but it definitely moved the timeline closer than I thought and now I will be relocating in early December. I guess it was a little passed due that my fanfic writer luck kicked in lmao.
Steddie still has a hold on me, my life is just a bit crazy at the moment.
That being said, I greatly appreciate everyone that has been reaching out to me. ❤️
This video is making me think of Eddie who works as a haunted house scarer (because of course he would) and Steve who keeps going to the haunted house just to be chased by a certain masked man.
Is someone gonna write this or do I have to take things into my own hands?
