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instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bouquetofideas/ she/her 13

[bouquetofideas]

There is a noose that has me tied

to that place inside my mind.

It reminds me of the time

that was just the other night,

I said I would fight

I said I would sleep.

But my thoughts carried too deep,

god,

I couldn’t breathe

And by the morning there were stained sheets.

Oh, why couldn’t I just sleep?

I wake up 

I’m all alone

I lose control

And then repeat.

[bouquetofideas]

I filled myself with cherry seeds 

My lungs 

The air I breathe 

It fills me It floods me

With the poison 

 The trees they grow 

They blossom from my heart 

They spill out my mouth 

The poison is out,

 Yet I know I’m still dying 

This is but a fraction 

Of the poison I create 

I spill into words 

I stand to my feet 

Yet the cherry seeds I ate pull me back down to this hate

[bouquetofideas]

The truth is I’m not scared Just scared of what would happen, If I failed

If I failed I would have that label ‘I’m razor sick’

If I failed I would fail at the very thing that was deemed necessary on behalf of my failure

And I’m no stranger to failure Just a failure to strangers Or at least in my own mind

[bouquetofideas]

below is a bunch of shit I didn’t wanna delete 

[bouquetofideas]

today I smelled alcohol

from ironic lips

this happens sometimes

when we reach the bottom

sorry is for the morning

right now we just cope

so have a good nightmare

and deal with this fate

[bouquetofideas]

I can’t tell if the prickles in my skin Are from the wind numbing my cheeks Or from the colder thoughts That freeze my actions

There are no distractions I’m here I made it Yet I take the time to write Sitting on the edge of contemplation

The fall is something special It breaks my thoughts for a split second But I crash into the deep blue The disappointing end I begin sinking once again

[bouquetofideas]

It’s not that he’s fragile It’s not that he’s frail

It’s just the cracks are too deep His face will split

Intoxicating thoughts Arn’t all the same

They may be stronger They may live longer

But it’s not that he’s fragile They just won’t extinguish

[bouquetofideas]

Don’t tell them When we danced and kissed, And picked the flowers that grew from our thoughts. Don’t tell them When we displayed our arrangement, On the tips of our lungs. Don’t tell them When the petals fell, The thorns that were once hidden now obvious to all who deemed intrigued. Don’t tell them The pain was always beneath the surface, Never reaching the eyes of the beloved. We just don’t tell them As beautiful as our red rose that blooms from our words may appear, It was never pure.

[bouquetofideas]

There is a noose that has me tied

To the place inside my mind

It reminds me of the time

That was just the other night,

I said that I would fight

I said that I would sleep.

But my thoughts carried too deep.

God I couldn’t breathe

And by the morning there were stained sheets.

Oh, why couldn’t I just sleep?

I wake up

I’m all alone

I lose control

And then repeat.

[bouquetofideas]

I filled myself with cherry seeds

My lungs

The air I breathe

It fills me

It floods me

With poison

The trees they grow

The blossom from my heart

They spill out my mouth

The poison is out

Yet I know I’m still dying

This is but a fraction

Of the poison I create

I spill into words

I stand to my feet

Yet the cherry seeds I ate

pull me back down to this hate

[bouquetofideas]

I find myself above the town Leaning down on flashing lights

My headache echos jump over And I think that I just might

Yet as I’m falling through the sky I open up my eyes

Omnipresent in my sheets On a detested summers night

[bouquetofideas]

That single drop fell years ago

My mind it shrieked it clawed and scratched

It left the scars that altered me they limit me

I once believed,

had hopes and dreams

Oh god,

why can’t I breathe

I can’t believe,

It’s me.

My thoughts they scream

Sap the crimson from my skin

That single drop fell years ago

and I fell with it

[bouquetofideas]

These are the lives we plunder We steal their hope their smiles and tears We leave behind self-loathing It’s the feeling that makes them slit their wrists Destroy their wish What do those kids do? Those kids are me Could you be too? Those joys that they rob from us I rob from them too

The sounds of oppression convey their minds The sinister words we breathe How could you feel bad for me?

[bouquetofideas]

To stay alive You have to murder

The headaches that won’t melt Forever dilute beauty

I am impure, In every beautiful way

I am beautiful, am I not?

[bouquetofideas]

You will find me in a rosemary bush Cheeks shallow and printed There will be not even a birds call On a warm summers morning

The sky will be blue and gold As the shimmering fields sparkle You will feel upset or surprised or nothing at all Preserved in time and place

You were just on a walk I was not forgotten Yet there I lay peacefully On a warm summers morning

My clothes will be clean My hair will be soft In a better place Far from where I lay

And yet you cry out and fall to your knees The red leaves dripping with life I was always beautiful alone, yet you found me You found me in a rosemary bush On a warm summers morning.

[bouquetofideas]

*sighs* ryden why

[bouquetofideas]

Silhouette of perfection

Don't tell them When we danced and kissed, And picked the flowers that grew from our thoughts. Don't tell them When we displayed our arrangement, On the tips of our lungs. Don't tell them When the petals fell, The thorns that were once hidden now obvious to all who deemed intrigued. Don't tell them The pain was always beneath the surface, Never reaching the eyes of the beloved. We just don't tell them As beautiful as our red rose that blooms from our words may appear, It was never pure.