no, i won't live that long

bowen alexander. 24. devil's disciples prospect.

[bowcnalexander]

@cliff-kincaid !! 

Bowen hadn’t felt like this in a long time. She made sure that she didn’t feel like this, that she didn’t feel small and weak and powerless and afraid. Bowen had spent enough time in her life feeling all of those things, feeling worthless and like something someone scraped off the bottom of their shoe—she had worked hard to pull herself out of that place, to build up her self-esteem and to get away from the people who had caused that pain in the first place. 

However, it all came rushing back when she saw Nicky at the club meeting that day—it all came back like she had never really gotten rid of it in the first place. The demons she thought she had defeated hadn’t been slain at all, but instead were hiding, nursing their wounds and waiting for the best time to make sure they packed the strongest punch they could. Bowen was just starting to feel comfortable and confident in her place here, and just like that, the rug was pulled out from under her feet. 

As she liked to do whenever she needed time to think or clear her head, she zipped up her coveralls and went down to the auto shop. She didn’t expect anyone to be there at night—but then again, as a lowly prospect, she wasn’t privy to all the secret club goings-on that could be happening at any given moment, so she was just praying that no one found her there, working on her bike alone under the fluorescent lighting of the garage. 

At first, it was fine—a good way to clear her head. However, the more she cleared her mind, the more her thoughts started to drift to all the terrible things she had been trying so desperately to push down. Not only had Bowen grown up with a piece of shit father, but her half-brother, who had been her entire world when she was little, hadn’t even tried to come and find her, get her out of that situation. He knew how bad it was, and yet, he did nothing. Bowen resented him for that, but more than that, she just felt like a fool for thinking she was worth saving.

Her vision grew cloudy, and before she realized it, there were tears collecting in the corners of her eyes and dripping down her cheeks. Fuck, she couldn’t remember the last time she cried. It made her feel fucking weak. Bowen sniffled and brushed aside her tears, but she couldn’t focus anymore. Instead, she just dropped her tools, bending over where she was sitting and—careful not to get grease on her face—rested her head against the cleaner, backs of her hands and tried to collect herself.

[bowcnalexander]

💌 Bowen

Cliff: forgive me if i'm not gonna hold my breath until that happens

Cliff: because i hate to break it to ya kid but it's not gonna happen

Cliff: tell me, who's taller? you or one of willy wonka's oompa loompas? i can't really tell

Bowen: GOD YOU'RE A GOBLIN

Bowen: LET ME LIVE

[bowcnalexander]

💌 Bowen

Cliff: Yo kid

Cliff: You wanna see something funny?

Cliff: nvm you wouldn't be able to see it

Cliff: GET IT

Cliff: BECAUSE YOU'RE SHORT

Bowen: one day, i'm going to hit a growth spurt and you're going to eat your words

Bowen: ass

[bowcnalexander]

@nickycasalino !!!

Bowen thought they should probably feel guilty about how she treated Nicky during the club meeting, but there was no other way she knew how to make sure that she held onto the position she fought tooth and nail for. She had seen his name around on different documents, but she had never though that Nicky was her Nicky, was the person she hadn’t seen since they were kids. However, as soon as he walked into that meeting, she knew—this was the same person she had grown to hate over the past 20 years. 

So, when Nicky had expressed his recognition during their meeting, Bowen quickly explained—”We were neighbors when we were kids.” Not siblings, not half-siblings, no. She wanted to distance herself from him with a smile on her face and she wanted to pretend that everything that seeing him was bringing up didn’t exist. And that was why, after the meeting, when she was sure no one would notice, she caught up with him, speaking quickly and not really allowing him to get a word in until she was done. 

“I don’t want to fuck this up. This is the one good thing I’ve had in the past 20-fucking-years, and I don’t care if you hate me or didn’t want to see me or don’t want to see me again, I’ll just stay out of your way. And you stay out of mine, and we can both just be here and pretend that we’re not.” Bowen paused only to take a breath. “I’m not going to let anything fuck this up. It’s the one thing that’s mine, and I’m not going to let our fucked up family take this, too.”

[bowcnalexander]

@delaisms <3

Bowen spent far too much time getting into trouble, and usually it was harmless, but there were those rare occasions when she was in a little bit too far over her head and needed some help. However, she was not willing to admit to the Disciples that she was going to need someone to back her up—they already thought that she was a fuck-up enough without her proving to them that they had legitimate cause to believe that about her. She pressed her lips together as she sat in Delaney’s office, her features pressed into a tight line as she tried to figure out where to start with all of it. 

First things first, however, she rummaged around in her pockets and slapped down a wrinkled twenty on the desk in front of her before leaning back in her chair. “I don’t know how much more you charge, but that’s all I got right now,” she said. “I’ll sign an IOU or what-the-fuck-ever too.”

[bowcnalexander]

dahliaxwright‌:

   "sadly very true,“ she said in a sing song tone. dahlia couldn’t even try to hide the amusement the moment bowen ran her tongue over her lips. she was relieved to hear that the choice was a good one,” well being a bar tender means i should know the good stuff.“ plus she did try to sample the new products so she knew what they tasted like herself. she made sure to look down the bar to make sure that no one else was waiting. only to glance back at bowen and shrugged,” well, i mean, you have us and then hoopers,“ she said with a shrug,” i’ve only been here around four years and it is a small town but i mean, isn’t that supposed to be part of it’s charm or whatever?“

“yeah, it’s a small comfort, but at least we can all pretend that this town is normal and not think about what will happen when other people figure out what actually goes on her.” she plucked the orange slice from the lip of her glass and took a bite out of it, pursing her lips thoughtfully for a moment. “i don’t know. i grew up in a town even smaller than this one, and i think i was hoping that the extra thousand people would make it a little more exciting around here, but it’s literally just that they built 2 of everything instead of just 1.” 

[bowcnalexander]

auroragillenkerk‌:

Aurora let out a giggle, continuing to stumble down the streets in town, amazed that she hadn’t fallen on her ass at this point. She was a tall, thin individual who also was a light weight, which was a bad combination. “Would it be a good idea though? I feel like some of the guys think I’m some immature kid, I don’t want to prove that!” she exclaimed as she turned a corner, into the direction she thought the Shop was. “Are we even going the right way, dude?” she asked.

Bowen was always covered in bruises, half because she kept getting into fights and half because she usually fell down drunk trying to get back home. “They’re always going to think you’re a kid. They’re always going to think I’m a drunk fuck-up. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles!” Bowen snorted again. “We’ll prove ‘em wrong, later, now I just want to go fuck with them.” Bowen squinted into the darkness. “I’m...not sure,” she admitted. “We’ll make it there eventually. There are only, like, 3 roads in this place.” 

[bowcnalexander]

cxrlymxrris‌:

“Awe, that means a lot.” Carly playfully put a hand over her heart as Bowen complimented her. Bowen was probably one of the very few Disciples that Carly could stand to have an actual conversation with. “Yeah? The give you community service or something?” Her brow raised, “what about the other guy? Did he get in trouble at all?”

“They’re probably going to make me spit shine all their bikes or something awful like that,” she said, wrinkling her nose in disgust. “I swear, they keep coming up with new and increasingly creative punishments for my drunkenness. As if the hangover isn’t punishment enough.” Bowen didn’t care much for rivalry—Carly was her friend, and that was it. She was sure, however, that if the Disciples knew about this little friendship, they would not be for it.

[bowcnalexander]

benjimiller‌:

bowen was always late. so it came as no surprise to ben, when she showed up an hour late. ben was by no means in charge, but was currently staying at the clubhouse, helping out around the auto shop every now and then. this particular day, bowen was supposed to relieve him of his duties, so when she finally showed up he had no intention of letting her off easy,  “nice of you to grace us with your presence, princess”  he rolled his eyes, as he wiped his hands on a grease stained rag.  “oh, you swear  ?  well, that’s just great, but how about starting with showing up on time  ?  that way i might actually believe you when you swear you’ll get shit done”  he was only messing with her. bowen was annoying as hell, but he knew her dedication to the club was real and she did in fact get everything done.  “you made me miss happy hour at la luna, so i think it’s only fair that you work an hour extra, prospect”  

“hey, i always get everything done,” she replied. “of all my faults, that is not one of them.” she was annoying and flaky and she tended to get a little too drunk and show up a little too hungover, but she knew they couldn’t fault her for being noncommittal or unable to get her work done. she wanted to be here, and she knew that sometimes her penchant for partying and using substances to forget got in the way of that, but she was working on that. at least, she kept telling herself she was going to work on that. “fine. fine, i’ll work an extra hour,” she said, dropping the attitude from her tone. as much as she felt a part of the club, she knew that if any of the members thought she was too annoying or an asshole or not committed enough to the club, they would drop her easily. “and here, listen,” she rummaged around in her pockets for some cash. “i’ll even buy you a drink.” 

[bowcnalexander]

kincaidpd‌:

Normally, every day held something new in store for Charming’s police force. A particular young minx, however, was not one of them. Jordan would bet any amount of money that she could recite Bowen’s information straight from memory, given the number of times they’d run into each other. It’d begun to border on absurd in Jordan’s eyes, but she’d long since made peace with it. The girl would be who she was no matter what–she’d damn well proved that much. Still, not everyone knew how to take her on without falling flat on their face. She’d been recording plate numbers and car makes when she came upon the scene, figuring she may as well pull over and see what all the fuss was about. The rookie on duty looked increasingly flustered as she approached them, but she didn’t care to focus on him. Instead, Jordan smiled at the younger girl’s remarks and placed her hands on her hips. “Always a pleasure, kid. Looks like you’re havin’ fun there.” She spared another glance at the officer then, who grew even redder. “Can you believe this kid? What a fuckin’ mouth.” There was a glint in her eyes that appeared out of place, resembling faint deviltry. “You know, I couldn’t help but overhear, O’Reilly, and is it just me.. or does this woman appear to be resisting arrest?” 

Bowen knew that she got herself into those situations, but that still didn’t mean that she was going to take any responsibility for them. She pressed her lips together, scowling at Jordan as she spoke. “Oh, I’m having the time of my life,” she said. Bowen, despite finding these constant interactions with the police an annoyance more than anything, she still didn’t want to get into too much trouble. The last thing she wanted was for the MC to think that she was more of a hassle than she was worth, and she wouldn’t even be able to look at herself if she got kicked out as a prospect. “Go ahead and abuse your power, pig,” Bowen replied, jerking somewhat involuntarily against handcuffs. She stayed still after that, however, wanting to make sure that no one could actually claim she was resisting arrest. “Last I heard, we got free speech in this country, baby, so I can call you a pig and him a boot-licking perv all I want and you can’t do jack shit.” Of course, they could arrest her for tagging the billboard on the edge of town, but that was secondary in her mind. 

[bowcnalexander]

dahliaxwright‌:

   "well i’m okay being here in charming even with all of us crazies,“ she said with a laugh,” i’ve been here only one year less than you.“ she didn’t think twice about offering the drink on the house. she was going to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, tossing a rag over her shoulder. only to slide her hand into the others and shaking it,” why thank you,“ she said with a laugh,” dahlia, nice to meet you bowen.“ she was pretty sure she had seen her before, once or twice.

“i mean, misery loves company, right?” bowen took a swig of the beer, running her tongue over her lips afterwards to double check the taste. “you recommended a good one,” she complimented, leaning against the bar on her forearms and tracing shapes into the condensation gathering on the outside of the glass. “cheers,” she added, lifting her glass again and taking a sip before putting it back down. “so, listen: is this, like, all that’s in charming? i don’t know how long you’ve been here, but five years for me already feels like more than enough time to know the place inside and out.”

[bowcnalexander]

[bowcnalexander]

auroragillenkerk‌:

“Oh man,” Aurora breathed out, the cool air of the night sending a slight shiver through her tiny body. The disciple member had no clue what time it was now, only making the assumption that it was late. The oldest Gillenkerk had been having these kind of late night adventures since she was a teen but for some reason it hit different now that she was graduated and a young ‘adult’. Maybe it was because she was now in the good company of the Disciples and felt like she had people she could call her second family? Perhaps. “I would say we could head down to the shop, but would any of the guys be annoyed by two drunk bitches?” she joked with her, taking the bottle from Bowan and taking another swift swig of it. 

Bowen always wore a watch, but rarely consulted it—she went to bed when she went to bed, she woke up when she woke up, and she got places when she got places—which certainly was a problem when it came to fulfilling her duties as a prospect with the Disciples. “Oh, they’d hate it if we showed up there right now,” she said, shaking her head. “Which means that we should totally do it.” Bowen pointed in a vague direction ahead of them, increasing her pace—and therefore increasing their instability as they walked. “Forward, march!”

[lauraharricrs]

[bowcnalexander]

@benjimiller :D

Bowen ran in, late as always, slinging her cut labeled PROSPECT in big letters over her shoulder as she tried to juggle both her tool bag in one hand and her phone in the other, trying and failing to keep it all together and dropping her phone. “Shit!” she exclaimed. She fully put on her cut and ran into the auto shop, scooping her phone up as she ran before dropping her tool bag at her feet, completely out of breath. “I know, I know, I’m like, an hour late—” she explained, gasping for breath as she straightened her posture. “But I’m here and I’m totally going to get everything done. Swear.” Bowen usually did get everything done, even if that meant not taking a lunch break in the middle of the day or working late—despite her indiscretions, she was actually committed to the club. 

[bowcnalexander]

@kincaidpd !! 

Bowen, yet again, found herself pressed up against a police car getting searched. “Hey!” she said at the officer who slid his hands down her pants leg. “Be careful where you put those hands, buddy, I can still kick while I’m in handcuffs.” She almost considered proving it, but assaulting a police officer would have gotten her a lot more time behind bars than she was willing to give up, so instead, she just allowed herself to get searched before just leaning against the squad car. Upon seeing Jordan, she scoffed. “Of-fucking-course it’s you,” she said. “What, did you get bored today? Feeling a little restless?” She leaned in conspiratorially. “You know, I think you’d be a lot more chill if you just got laid.” 

[bowcnalexander]

@auroragillenkerk <3

Bowen and Aurora, after a long night of dancing on tables and stumbling around with whichever group of partiers had caught their fancy that night, were now trudging home, passing a bottle of whiskey between them. Bowen had an arm wrapped around Aurora’s shoulders, both of them leaning on each other to make sure they stayed upright as Bowen giggled at the review of the night’s escapades. “Where to next, then?” she asked. “I’m not ready to shut things down for the night. I don’t know about you.” She took a swig from the bottle and passed it to Aurora, the two of them zig-zagging across the sidewalk as they made their way down. It was clearly far too late for them to still be out, but Bowen didn’t quite care about that—no, as far as she was concerned, 2 am meant the night was still young, and she wasn’t willing to go home alone just yet.