salty

bow#1387

[bowttt]

I am, deep inside, a cat.

Punctuation matters.

[bowttt]

i use the sims’ needs system to remember things sometimes.

if i’m preparing for someone to come and visit me, i check to make sure all of their sim needs would be met. bladder? check. food? i should ask and get some things that they would like. sleep? check, let me clean up the guest room. fun? let me make sure there’s something planned for most of the days. social? check. hygiene? let me clean the bathroom.

it’s a great system for me, the kind of person whose adhd has me paranoid that i’m always forgetting stuff (because i usually am)

[bowttt]

i present to all ye mortals: the drollface

[bowttt]

what if instead of german it was germ man

[bowttt]

i know every order is weird when i get a perfect fresh arrangement order (designer’s choice, good price, i could walk to deliver it) and i immediately get suspicious

[bowttt]

is the one you keep coming back to the filler or is everyone else?

[bowttt]

yes i know language changes and if i know what you mean it doesn’t really matter but say the right word dammit!! native english speaker phonetic mistakes will be the death of me

[bowttt]

it doesn’t make any sense when you finally get around to reading a well-known book and someone goes “oh yeah? well i read that when i was 10 years old” like okay?

what do you want me to do about that, firstly? build a time machine so i can go and make myself read it back then?

secondly, i haven’t read it yet. it’s a good book, otherwise it wouldn’t be well-known, and if i get to a certain age without reading it, does that mean i’m just screwed? that i can never read it in my whole life? meaningless one-upmanship and contrarian gatekeeping is harmful to the progress of literary culture. plenty of people gain access to things long after it’s socially normal to access them

[bowttt]

i should start each post with “dear diary” shouldn’t i

[bowttt]

having parents that met on a video game is a weird experience because i’ve never met anyone else who can relate to it. yes my parents are gamers and yes that makes us a family of nerds and no i’m sorry that your parents met in middle european literature class and that they don’t understand the internet.

especially since they always say “wow i wish i could get my parents to play video games with me” really? my experience with that has been frustrating

[bowttt]

when people ask me whether i’ve watched death note i always say “yeah” even though i stopped watching it after the episode where (spoilers) L dies, and light winning just seemed like an appropriate ending to me. i’ve been told how it actually ends but i can’t be arsed to remember, and i internally glorify it as one of the only stories i can think of where the bad guy wins.

[bowttt]

once in 4th grade i completely forgot how to spell “of” and spent an entire day stressing over the fact that “ove” didn’t look right

[bowttt]

online roleplaying communities that mandate a minimum length of each text action bother me to no end. i understand that it’s troublesome and can be enabling of low-effort posts to leave message length to the roleplayer’s discretion, but the best roleplayer i know will oftentimes cough out a 2-sentence action of pure art, and that’s because he doesn’t feel the inclination to pack his messages with meaningless filler, dialogue, and narration.

[bowttt]

sometimes i’m sitting in the car and my visual perspective changes, so it looks like i’m sitting in a dome with two pillars instead of a metal box with three windows. it’s really freaky

[bowttt]

leslie nielsen is a treasure in the world of comedy film. i don’t believe there’s a single person in this universe more capable of realistically playing, no, actually becoming the part he plays. no one will ever be able to surpass his poker face of absolute ass-backwards ridiculousness.

[bowttt]

i find bad etymology amusing - for example, while walking a dog yesterday i came to the realization that “doff” (as in taking off armor, commonly-thought to be the opposite of don) is actually the combination of the prefix “de-” and the middle-low german word for farmstead (hof). The armor works as a farmstead for the body, holding and protecting it as an actual farmstead houses and protects its livestock. The armor protects its livestock, the body (both a living animal and as a knight, lambs for the slaughter in war), and so de-hof shortens to doff.

[bowttt]

perfect retaliation to a bodybuilding boyfriend/girlfriend you’re angry with: “the only real abs you have are backstabs”

that was one of the three memories i had this morning after getting my wisdom teeth out