i’m lowkey glad you’re not doing the f1 master post this year bc as much as i loved the insights into the drama last season. idk what you would even talk about it’s so boring by comparison. every week it’s just mclaren 1-2 and the hulk/gabi yaoi subplot FIRST PLACE USED TO MEAN SOMETHING
An Incomplete List of Things That Have Happened During The 2025 F1 Season So Far As Of Qualifying At The Hungarian GP:
-natalie pinkham saying this: "they key for williams this year is to have less crashes" (pre season testing)
-the intense pre season testing debate over what constituted a rookie driver that ended up with someone tweeting crofty that under his classification karun chandok was technically an f1 rookie (pre season testing)
-yuki tsunoda qualifying 5th in an rb (australia)
-oscar pastries sister being haunted by her brother around melbourne in ads (australia)
-oscar renewing his contract and not telling his mom about it (australia)
-lewis saying this about what impressed him the most about charles: "besides his great hair? his eyes... i mean, he's a good looking lad" (australia)
-lewis asking isack for a selfie during the drivers parade (Australia)
-lewis hamiltons dad running up to isack hadjar and talking to him after he dnf'd on the opening lap of his first race in rainy conditions (australia)
-crofty kicking off the year by utterly flaming helmut marko of red bull for calling gabriel bortoleto a "b grade driver" after gabriel (in a fucking shitbox sauber) managed to knock kimi antonelli (in a mercedes) out of q1 of qualifying in his first f1 race, after markos own driver, liam lawson, was also out in q1 for running across the gravel several times. (australia)
-alex albon p5 in a god damn williams in the opening race of the year (australia)
-kimi antonelli p16 to p5 in his first ever f1 race (australia)
-oscar piastri wrangling his mclaren from The Literal Grass after a spin in sudden and slightly unexpected rain to a points position after being a lap down and also the timing screens showing him as out with two laps to go at his home race (australia)
-nico hulkenberg scoring more points in one race than sauber did all last season (australia)
-lance stroll being above ferrari in the points standings (australia)
-this ferrari radio (australia)
-the george russell lawn mower commercial (china)
-lewis and charles both getting disqualified in china (china)
-lando and oscar saying theyre trying to emulate lewis and fernando or multi 21 this year (china)
-ollie bearman saying ciao to everyone he passed in china (china)
-franco colapinto trying to forge charles leclercs signature for some fans (and being bad at it) (china?)
-liam lawson getting the red bull axe just before japan, the third race of the season (japan)
-yuki racing in a red bull during his home race (japan)
-alex albon scoring williams points in three consecutive races for the first time since 2017 (japan)
-plus this alex albon radio: (japan)
-the many grass fires of the japanese gp (japan)
-oscar complaining about the lack of action at the japanese gp in the cooldown room (japan)
-nico hulkenbergs q1 lap time getting deleted 40 minutes late and thus belatedly promoting alex albon to q2 even though q2 had already happened, thus making alex albon want to tear everyone limb from limb (bahrain)
-mercedes exiting the pit lane too early and then blaming it on the face that their sporting director was at his childs wedding (bahrain)
-mattia binotto staring longingly at the two ferraris waiting at the pit lane exit while wearing the worlds ugliest loafters (bahrain)
-alex albon (and carlos sainz?) just casually using the toilet in james vowels's office (bahrain)
-charles and lewis telling that story about how they were playing chess against eachother and both cheating and still failing (bahrain)
-max verstappens manager yelling at helmut marko after the bahrain gp along with the statement from helmut marko that max leaving the team is a high chance plus the emergency helmut and horner meeting (bahrain)
-george slutting lando out in the cooldown room on his instagram (bahrain)
-everyone getting enraptured by the silver mercedes jacket (bahrain)
-this alex albon radio: "GUYS, DO YOU NOT SEE THERE'S A CAR RIGHT BEHIND ME AS WELL? OR ARE WE NOT THINKING
ABOUT THAT…" (saudi arabia)
-isack getting asked about being calmer on the radio and him saying that he just doesnt press the radio button anymore (saudi arabia)
-ollie barman admitting that last year he and gabi got shit faced before imola and then got a 1-2 and thus concluded that "the best preparation for a race weekend is to be completely drunk the weekend before." (saudi arabia)
-red bull racing posting charles leclerc memes including but not limited to this (saudi arabia)
-george russell saying that he had a baby in his stomach (miami)
-kimi antonelli becoming the youngest ever pole sitter and then promptly got stuck in his helmet (miami)
-max verstappen becoming a father and got to miss media day. the announcers also called him daddy (miami)
-vcarb showing up with the sexiest looking pink livery in the world and alpine getting pissed about it because Theyre Supposed To Be The Pink Car (their car is half blue) and them getting into social media battles about it (miami)
-lewis hamilton having a werthers fall out of his pocket mid press conference and getting surprised by it (miami)
-the drivers all racing full sized lego cars in the drivers parade (miami)
-lewis hamilton telling his engineers to take a tea break after they mucked up the strategy horribly and also swapped cars without telling the cars they were swapping cars (miami)
-and then this radio from lewis:
-the podium interviews taking place in the back of a truck next to fake palm trees (miami)
-oscar piastri very very badly doing the giddy after winning because he lost a bet (miami)
-flavio briatore randomly replacing team principal ollie oakes after ollie oakes's brother was weirdly inopcated in some mafia esque crime syndicate thing after briatore was previously banned from f1 for life after crash gate but then it was overturned and his first move was replacing jack doohan (a driver that he himself is the manager of) with franco colapinto for seemingly no reason other than just vibes? (post miami)
-meanwhile pierre having fun in the simulator (post miami)
-whatever this charles leclerc tiktok was: "hi everyone it's charles leclerc, the president of the world as you may already know. today i'll see what rules i approve. ordering a pizza with pineapple should get you forever banned from italy and that's it. that's approved." (post miami)
-max verstappen hopping on twitter at 12:19am to yell at someone calling his car set ups illegal with no proof after the account had basically gone dormant just because he was pissed (pre imola ??)
-the appointing of the america pope that cursed ferrari and all people italian to hell and back just before the imola gp (imola)
-kimi antonelli taking his entire class of italian students as guests to the imola gp and making them wear mercedes merch. in italy. (imola)
-no one knowing if gabi or ollie was through to q2 because of a red flag dispute (imola)
-screens accidentally showing that checo perez had an incident with lando norris (imola)
-fernando alonso and lance stroll knocking both ferraris out of q2 with medium tires and charles was so mad all he could say over radio was "my god my god my god" (imola)
-the mclaren social media team putting lando and oscar in white race suits that had vague wedding font script on them and having them pose sluttily on boats while the suite life on deck theme song played in the background (monaco)
-mercedes nearly forgetting about the "you must change tires at least twice rule" in monaco (monaco)
-george's car getting stuck in the tunnel in monaco and him having to be pushed out and down the track by the marshals while perching in the car like a diva princess (monaco)
-george's blasant cheating in monaco that he didnt try to hide at all not even a little bit (monaco)
-george demanding that alex albon take him out to dinner after monaco as an "apology" because george was stuck behind him for a billion laps and blah blah blah. alex replying on social media that he would take him to a dive through (monaco)
-george suggesting the following ways on how to make the monaco gp more interesting: ‘Add a sprinkler button to each car’ ‘Use a plane to randomly drop water from above’ ‘Fifteen pit stops instead of two' ‘Bring back the lego cars’ (monaco)
-alex albon saying that he Did take george to dinner and he Did pay the bill and george ordered lobster pasta. george saying that there was still debt because the restaurant wasnt "expensive enough" (spain)
-nico rosberg once again saying that he only calls james vowels vowels because at mercedes james only called him rosberg, but this time to his face (spain)
-max being told to give the position back to george (incorrectly by his team) and then crashing into george and receiving a penalty for it, thus only feeding their weird feud (spain)
-zak brown also getting sorts called out for following a lewis hamilton and nicole scherzinger fan account on his public instagram?? (spain)
-lando asking oscar if he used his deodorant during a press conference and oscar saying no it was chocolate flavored and he could get a better whiff if he wanted (spain)
-the stake f1 team kick sauber tire thirst trap video
-george saying this about the incident in spain with max: "We bumped into each other at the airport a few days ago on Sunday morning when I was going to Roland Garros. To be honest, I totally forgot about Barcelona because he was there with his newborn. And we were at the security machine. So he just had a quick chat and then he was busy folding the pram down to put it through the machine." (post spain)
-f1 announcing that they were moving the Canadian gp to the monaco weekend, putting it at the same time as the indy 500 and pissing off half the internet and also ruining motorsport christmas (post spain)
-charles leclerc posting another photo of himself in yet another ugly big hat (post spain ??)
-nico rosberg getting made fun of for eating cauliflower for breakfast by crofty (canada)
-nico rosberg saying that if isack hadjar gets approached by red bull he should say no and not sign for them because its as easy as saying no and it will kill his career: “and isack hadjar has been listening to me because i said if red bull calls to say no and he said on the media he’s scared….its not a difficult decision to make! you dont go next to max verstappen just say no” (canada)
-nico also telling the cringe fail story of him calling some guy from ferrari on the guys birthday to try and get a rare car and failing (canada)
-isack hadjar, tiktok king, making that tiktok with red bull cliff diver molly carlson (canada)
-nico hulkenberg absolutely scaring the shit out of davide at the wall of champions (canada)
-kimi antonelli first podium (canada)
-this charles leclerc radio: (canada)
-and this alex albon one: (canada)
-oscar and lando crashing in front of nico rosberg (canada)
-lance stroll nearly missing his home race because of hand surgery (canada)
-george and max refusing to spray eachother with champagne on the podium (canada)
-nico rosberg putting danica patrick in her place (canada)
-that video of the f1 drivers dramatically saying the lyrics to shut up and drive (idk when this was i think it was post canada)
-kimi antonelli crashing into max verstappen on the opening lap of max'a home race and max immediately going oh no he didn't mean it from straight anger after realizing it was kimi (austria)
-yuki not scoring points and doing pretty horiffically during austria, causing everyone to realize that Hm It Might Actually Be The Car (austria)
-liam lawson being the only red bull driver to get points in austria (Austria)
-gabi scoring his first points and taking victory photos with nico hulkenberg in a towel ??? (austria)
-oscar saying this after getting nearly driven into the grass by a lapped franco colapinto and getting he'd up by a lapped pierre gasly while trying to pass i think it was lando for the win: "alpine’s still managed to find a way to fuck me over after all these years later huh" (austria)
-yuki tsunoda losing his phone at lake como and posting an instagram story to his followers asking if anyone had seen it. the phone. in the lake. (post austria)
-oscar piastri (jokingly?) asking if they could swap cars after he made a mistake then later saying "Lando didn’t do anything wrong, so it wouldn't have been particularly fair to have swapped, but I thought I'd at least ask." (silverstone)
-nico hulkenberg getting his first podium EVER in a shitbox sauber in the rain at silverstone while kevin magnussen was in the garage4, getting smooched by his younger teammate gabi and also not knowing how the cool down room worked, getting a lego trophy and not getting sprayed on the podium by mclaren (silverstone)
-also several other teams bringing sauber their champagne because sauber didnt have any (silverstone)
-lewis hamiltons 13 year podium streak at silverstone ending (silverstone)
-lance saying this radio post silverstone when he was briefly in contention for a podium: "yeah, crazy is an understatement. i mean it's the worst piece of shit i've ever driven in my life, to be honest. but it's okay. 7th." (silverstone)
-people using the locations of yachts belonging to george and max and i think toto? to try and figure out who has the mercedes seat for next year (post silverstone)
-rumors of max verstappen leaving red bull becoming so rampant because the car sucks and the car sucks so bad that it might activate his exit clause that red bull decides to axe christian horner immediately after the silverstone gp, in which case he might go to mercedes, thus reigniting the george max feud (post silverstone)
-horner immediately getting replaced by rb team principal laurent mekies, meaning that even he wasnt immune to getting replaced by someone from rb/torro rosso/alpha tauri (which he loved to do to his drivers) (post silverstone)
-lewis hamilton Also posting a thirst trap before horner was fired, the prophecy continues (silverstone)
-max saying this about where hes driving next year: "There is also a possibility I don't wake up tomorrow. So then there is no driving at all. Life is unpredictable." (post silverstone)
-charles and max overtaking both mclarens at the same time with the same move in the sprint race (spa)
-ollie spending the weeks off smashing a karting record at a track in sweden i think it was and it took him three days only to have the original record holder beat his record pretty immediately (spa)
-the grid in belgium being lando and oscar (the most unserious championship rivals) on p1 and p2, then charles and max on p3 and p4, then alex albon and george russell being p5 and p6. and george saying in an interview that alex should let him by at the start because alex never did anything to thank george for putting in a good word for him at williams years ago for him to get the seat (and alex saying in a different interview that george was so close with his family at the time that he'd come to alexs house for dinner when alex wasnt there) (alex also said he wouldn't be buying george dinner this time) (spa)
-also whatever was happening here:
-charles calling max maxie in an interview (spa)
-during a rain delay nico rosberg appearing out of literal thin air and yapping endlessly about being childhood menaces with lewis hamilton, showing everyone a photo of them from when they were 13 and also telling a story about how lewis nearly died on a jet ski once all while lewis was blatantly ignoring him (spa)
-oscar being spotted running out of carlos's garage during the rain delay (spa)
-also during rain delay a graphic popping up saying that charles leclerc has never once parked his car correctly (spa)
-nico and gabi stroking each others heads with driver gloves (spa)
-nico basically revealing that valtteri bottas has a seat at cadillac next year during a track walk (spa) (this was of course after valtteri hinted at it no less than 12 million times)
-nico rosberg and jenson button doing interviews together for once and nico telling jenson that he knew all his stats because he was a big fan (spa)
-lewis hamilton launching his ferrari from p18 to p7 (spa)
-nico rosberg cursing lando norris before the start of the belgian gp (spa)
-francos 6 race contract supposed to be up before spa and despite that hes gotten no points (like jack) hes still here? no one knows why? (spa)
-charles and carlos flying together out of spa, leaving alex and lando on their own (post spa)
-ferrari needing to publicly announce that fred vasseur extended his tp contract after there being mass speculation that he was sacked (post spa)
-max supposedly confirming that hes staying with red bull for 2026?? (hungary)
-charles leclerc getting pole out of absolutely nowhere on his historic worst track and getting rendered pretty much speechless over it after fernando alonso nearly snapped it up himself for the first time in how ever many thousand days (hungary)
-oscar joking to lando about overtaking in the pitlane (hungary)
-also everyone continuing to call the "title fight" mclaren and the mild disagreement because lando and oscar are still being goofs despite the media trying to pit them against eachother but also lando is fulfilling the prophecy of driver who wins the first race of the season doesnt win the title............
Seeing Red. Different suits cuz ya girl originally painted Yuki with the Racing Bulls suit…and when the announcement of the rider change happened, had to repaint it to the Red Bulls suit. Anyways I hope he cooks in the upcoming Japan GP.
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