HEY EVERY !!! IT'S ME!!

Indie. semi-selective RP blog of Spamton from Deltarune! Please read rules before interacting. Follows and likes come from always-together.

[thebigshotman]

Hello everyone! Yes, this is indeed an rp blog for Spamton G. Spamton from Deltarune Chapter 2.

Please like or reblog this post if you would be willing to [turn off adblock] and interact with this spam mail puppet that’s been abandoned one too many times and is just a wee bit insane. I’ll be sure to check you out in return!

[[Indie and semi-selective, 3+ years experience. Crossovers welcome! Please read rules before interacting. Strings pulled by Ruby! Follows come from @always-together ]]

[clickbeetle]

swatch is going to be the next tumblr sexyman.

i’m putting this post in my drafts so i can laugh at it when i’m right.

[clickbeetle]

the….. big shot guy….? is he popular or smthing? i just finished the game but i barely remember him kghskgjd

[thebigshotman]

Apologies for the silence while I’ve been dealing with a motivation-sapping cold; I promise I’ll be back as soon as I’m feeling better! (Probably early next week in all likelihood)

[angstflavoured]

wanted everything and ended up with nothing 💔

(closeups for frames below!)

Im not sure who created the aus or not, I just listed the ones I used for reference of the design 💥

also in case anyone was wondering but I figure most ppl know, this is based off the scene from Everything, Everywhere, All at Once

My spams and in-game spams:

Dead Pixel by @a-scary-lack-of-common-sense

Deltanova by @outerspaceboyy_ on Instagram

Undertale by @spacerace127 (more active on Twitter i believe) and @soulmeshart

Swap/Ad World by @diionysan

Defernull by @underfell

Cowboy/The Contract by @cartooninsomnia

[thebigshotman]

(nose nuzzle for fame verse spamton!) Ramb flipped the pamphlet over, but the back was blank. "Hm." His ear twitches and slightly perks up. He turns towards Spamton and grins crookedly. "Oi, big man. Fancy seeing you. Hear about the nose nuzzling contest Queen's hostin'? First place gets lotta cash. 'Course, famous guy like you wouldn't need that, but it's a prestigious event." Without warning, Ramb leans forward and rubs the bump on his face indicating a nose against Spamton's. "Think we could partner up for the fun of it?"

*Oh, hey, Ramb! What’s up?

Spamton was friendly enough with the shop manager of Tenna’s green room, the one who helped keep track of contestant points and brought a relaxed enough air to help calm stressed competitors. And yet, him looking over at the salesman with that sort of smile still made him uneasy, making him tug his tie nervously.

“*Nose…nuzzling?” He feigned ignorance, repressing the memories of his collective of Addison’s doing that exact thing to cheer him up after yet another day of unsuccessful business. “*I mean…you’re right, I’m too big to worry about something small like that. But if Queen’s putting it on—”

Ramb’s sudden advance, for lack of a better word, makes him fumble the script Tenna had given him for the next episode. For a Darkner that didn’t have a proper nose-at the very least not one like Spamton’s-he was…good at this!

*R-Ramb! Don’t do something like that without warning me first! What if a contestant saw? Or…Tenna…

The pink in his cheeks only lasts for a brief moment before he shakes his head, backing away so he can collect his papers. And yet, he smirks at Ramb. If Queen was holding a contest, and no one else here was aware of it…

“*…You know what? You’re on.” He flashes one of his signature award winning smiles. “*A big shot like me should be number one even at contests like that, right? Let’s win it together!”

[thebigshotman]

“*IT’S N0THING A LITTLE [[Hyperlink Blocked]] CAN’T F1X!!!” he “explained”, beaming back his wide smile into her cold gaze. He was used to these looks by now; they were the default way people approached and interacted with him. Just like any other conversation, all he had to do was smooth talk and disorient her and-

-And she was squeezing his outstretched hand with both of hers, attitude having done a complete 180 regarding him. His glasses fizzled into static in confusion as he let her dote on him, trying to figure out where to go from here. People hadn’t been nice to him in decades. He didn’t think he’d get this far in an unknown Dark World.

It was just a half hour of tea and talking. He could handle that. He could handle that! He hadn’t slipped away completely just yet…he hoped. His glasses returned to full color with a pleasant computer chime as he tried to shake out of her hold.

“*ON [second opinion]…M4YBE U CAN HELP,” he lied. The more time she spent wondering if she could fix him, the less she spent looking for the con he was trying to pull. “*[[Tea time]] S0UNDS [[hellish]]!!! WHERE AND WH4T [[leaf]], [[dollface]]??”

[timedticket]

The static reflected in his glasses was anything but a good sign. It startled her, even. Tockette's concern had already been rising since the very first sentence he'd muttered, so, for a moment, she was tempted to reach out and perform a check-up right then and there.

But before her hands could move towards his face, Spamton seemed to have regained his ability to speak. She held back at once, delighted to simply listen to his response. A positive one, at that ! It lifted a great weight from her shoulders.

" Why, the nearest café, of course! " She chirped. Her office would be far too somber a place to entertain a guest in less-than-ideal conditions. His time here ought to be spent in peace and comfort! ... At least, until the Conductor got her hands on her favorite toolbox.

" Oh—! Pardon me, dearie. " She added, slightly flustered by her own lapse. In her worry, she had completely forgotten the formalities. " I was so focused on what could be the root cause of your glitching that I forgot to introduce myself. " Removing her hat with a graceful motion, she offered a small bow. " The name's Tockette ! Supreme Conductor and Time Master of this place. Very, very pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr. Spamton. "

[thebigshotman]

There were cafes here? All he’d encountered since he came here were train stations and the trains themselves, minus the scenery through the windows of course. It…would be admittedly nice to be in a solid, stationary business again. To spend time unwinding in a cafe again.

Her introductions pull him out of his messy thoughts, trying to gather more information about this place from her titles. Tockette, the Conductor and Time Master. So this Dark World seemed like it indeed focused on trains and punctuality above all else.

“*I’M TH3 ONE WHOSE [[pleased to make your acquaintance]],, [[tick tock, tick tock!]!!!” he responds in kind, down to copying her voice instead of trying to choke out the appropriate words himself. “*YOUR THE 0NE WHO [[please have your tickets ready]], HUH???”

*SO…WH3RE’S THIS [Her Majesty’s exclusive Color Cafe—]

He bites down hard, cutting off the ad before it has even a chance of playing out any further. The less she knows about him, the less of a chance she has to pry about his past, the better.

[thebigshotman]

That sound would be the tell-tale slam of a dumpster opening, followed shortly after by a 4’7 puppet clambering out of the assorted trash and onto the ground in front of the Addison. He promptly picked himself up in a fit of glitches, posing with his hands at his side and a bright, overly large smile as he looked up at his target.

An Addison. Not one that was part of his circle when he was still small and innocent, but he knew they had to have tons of money at their disposal. Time to wring them of every last coin.

*WH4T’S SO [[horrifying]], [All we do is Advertise!]??? SCARED?? [[Don’t be!]]!! I’M NOT GONNA [[hurt?]] YA!!! I JU$T…

He presents a hand to them, simultaneously looking like a salesman looking to make a deal and a homeless person begging for change.

*NEED A L1TTLE [[genorisity]]!!! S0ME [account details] AND TH3 KROMER IN YOUR [[spacious pockets]],, THAT’S ALL!!!

His smile widened further, if that was even possible, to sweeten the deal.

[mewsnfrills]

Body stiffened at the sight of the puppet looking Addison. Those stories...really weren't just stories to keep the younger ones in line. The protocol meant to stop any kind of discussion of this supposed boogeyman by any means necessary with the sole exception of a specific context was there for something.

He's real. He's actually real.

The grabby hands he made in request of money. Despite having to navigate whatever his speech quirk was doing, that part is obvious. Addisons were generally known to do whatever they need to in order to get a sale.

Even if it's tactics that Seafoam would rather not touch.

Seafoam wanted to flee. Yet, their body couldn't move. Frozen in fear in response; even their tail fluffing up and slightly curled up.

[thebigshotman]

His grin grew even more, if only slightly, and he lowered his hand. They were genuinely terrified of him. He had no idea what stories had been told about him since his fall from the limelight, about the successful Addison who lost everything seemingly overnight. But if their reaction cued him in at all, they weren’t good. He approached slowly, careful steps as he rubbed his ball jointed hands together.

*DON’T LOOK S0 [[31 days of Halloween]]!!! I JUST WANT [financial compensation], TH4T’S ALL!!! AN Y KROMER YOU HAVE WILL DO!!! EVERY BUDDY’S GOTTA [[it hurts…help me, please!]], YA KNOW WH4T I MEAN???

When he was right on top of them, he offered his hand again. This time as a somewhat-friendly hand to shake in greeting.

*TH3 [[name you can trust]]’S SPAM-SPAMTON G SPAMTON!!! THE 0NE AND ONLY [Number1 Rated Salesman1997]!!! YOU GOT A [[Enter_Name_Here]] TOO, RIGHT, K1D???

[thebigshotman]

Ok, before I head off for the night I'll owe up to my promise about rambling about the show I saw in NYC 😃

So I got to see one of my favorite musicals, Chicago. Now, during the four year gap between chapters I definitely spotted a few Spamton-adjacent moments and songs, like Razzle Dazzle for his fame era. But my goodness, coming back to it with fresh eyes after Chapter 3, a lot of Roxie and Velma's dynamic feels Spamton and Tenna coded.

Tenna's Velma, the veteran star of the stage, and Spam's Roxie, the newcomer with dreams of being a star as big as Velma. They have a lot of antagonistic moments with each other that I could totally imagine them having if people in Castle Town tried egging them on to perform together again. But by the end of the day/show they do indeed have a successful double act on their hands, if a very begrudging one.

They get this song at the end of Act 1 together, "My Own Best Friend", and it's a counterpoint duet "of unrelenting determination and unmitigated ego". The moments where Roxie and Velma sing together feel more like coincidence than anything lol, and I feel like after Spam abandoned Tenna I could definitely imagine this song being sung. Similarly, "I Know a Girl", which opens Act 2 and has Velma/Tenna call the other out on their lies and schemes-as if they themselves don't have their moments, too.

The connection between Razzle Dazzle and Spam's fame era is one I've mentioned before so I won't ramble about it here, but it is indeed very fitting. But something I've never seen pointed out are parallels that "We Both Reached for the Gun", a song that literally has ventriloquism imagery in the choreography, has with Gaster/Billy Flynn feeding Spam/Roxie their lines to help build them up. And it's immediately followed by "Roxie", where she's pretty much salivating as the fame goes to her head lol. Guess who else's fame went to their head, leading them to act rashly and be completely unprepared when everything went downhill?

I dunno if any of this made sense, I could go on but it's late here and I fear I'm already making a fool of myself. But TLDR: Chicago has a lot of parallels with Spamton and Tenna (and even Spam and Gaster a little bit), not just cause of the showbiz angle but also because of the clashing egos. Those two were as much caught up in their own well-beings as they were each other...that's my take on it, anyways.

[thebigshotman]

*TH3Y ALSO DON’T MIND YOUR [[freezerburnt]] TV D1NNERS EITHER!!! [Seriously, folks] THAT [[$&@!]] IS [[belongs in the trash]]!!!!

He was in too good a mood to start yelling at him right now. Mocking his meals and whatever he may or may not have chosen to mix in with them was much better!

[tv-t1me]

📺⭐🟥⭕ " Tsk! Yeah, yeah..! " He fans a hand and looks at the audience, gesturing to the salesman with his thumb. " Folks, this possum just wants you to throw it out so HE can eat it! "

[thebigshotman]

"*AND IF I D1D???" He was starting to come down from things a little bit. Sure, he probably would eat the remains of any TV dinners someone threw away, but still...that was a bit of a low blow. Especially coming from him.

*[[Imagine, if you will,]] PUTTING PIPIS IN Y0UR [microwavable meals]. [[10 things they don't want you to know]] ISN'T IT?!? IT'S SO-IT'S SO-IT'$ S0-

Annnnnnd he had worked himself up into a loop. Great.

[thebigshotman]

Oh god, the cathode’s crazy fiancé was back.

*B3TTER THAN A [[man purse]]!!! BETTER TH4N [[fruit-scened hair care products]]!!!! HAEAHEAHEAHEAHE…

And yet here he is, continuing to laugh at him and his taste in clothing.

[starfaite]

 ❝ Aw, maybe you haven't washed it because you don't own a washing machine! Let me help you with that. ❞ proceeds to point her trident back at him and hit him with a water spray so strong it sends him flying up against a wall, and it doesn't stop.

[thebigshotman]

He barely has time to react before he’s slammed into a nearby wall from the force of the water being summoned by her weapon of choice. Was forcibly being given a bath not enough for the world? He had to get power washed, too?!

*ST0P 1T—

He couldn’t even properly talk before water entered the gap between his smile and frizzed out his voice box, making his head glitch out as the water continued to pour in. Now how was he going to get out of this one?

[thebigshotman]

Sorry, CyberLayla can't help but giggle at the mental image of Spamton wearing that dress.. "I am willing to bet you looked stunning in it, a true princess."

Great, the Darkner who was obsessed with giving him a bath had taken notice of the dress. He tried to stand in front of it to block it from her view, but it was too late. He gritted his teeth in annoyance; now she had another thing to follow him around about in addition to the baths!

*W-WH0 SAYS I [modeled] THAT THING??? EV3R, AT AN Y POINT??? [[StoreIsNotResponsibleForDamagedProduct]],, TH4T’S WHO!!!

Although abruptly afterwards, he let out a long sigh and the red in his face dulled down to a soft pink. He started mumbling to himself, half of it lost in the static that was permanently laced through his voice.

*…Maybe I did. Maybe I didn’t. They seemed to think so too when they were done laughing.

[thebigshotman]

*THE [[CRT]] WE4RS [[heat resistant aprons]]!!! TH3 [[CRT]] WEARS [[elegant lace aprons for sale]]!!! HAEAHEAHEAHEAHEAHEAHE!!!!

His body is glitching from head to toe from how hard he’s laughing.

[tv-t1me]

" Well I don't know, Big Shot, my fans sure don't seem to mind it... "

[thebigshotman]

*TH3Y ALSO DON’T MIND YOUR [[freezerburnt]] TV D1NNERS EITHER!!! [Seriously, folks] THAT [[$&@!]] IS [[belongs in the trash]]!!!!

He was in too good a mood to start yelling at him right now. Mocking his meals and whatever he may or may not have chosen to mix in with them was much better!

[thebigshotman]

*THE [[CRT]] WE4RS [[heat resistant aprons]]!!! TH3 [[CRT]] WEARS [[elegant lace aprons for sale]]!!! HAEAHEAHEAHEAHEAHEAHE!!!!

His body is glitching from head to toe from how hard he’s laughing.

[starfaite]

 ❝ I know you're not talking with that dirty [$!$!$] suit you haven't washed since 1997. ❞

[thebigshotman]

Oh god, the cathode’s crazy fiancé was back.

*B3TTER THAN A [[man purse]]!!! BETTER TH4N [[fruit-scened hair care products]]!!!! HAEAHEAHEAHEAHE…

And yet here he is, continuing to laugh at him and his taste in clothing.

[glutko]

[thebigshotman]

*ahem*

*AH…

The rosy red cheek blush seems to spread out to cover the rest of his face as he’s confronted with an embarrassingly sparkly blue dress that he…may or may not have been the model for decades ago. Before the phone. Before fame and Heaven was all that mattered.

He squints his eyes. Were they seriously displaying it on a mannequin that looked like him?!

*SOR-S0R-[[Terribly sorry]] BUT TH4T’S OUT OF STOCK!!! I’D NEVER [be caught dead] W3ARING A [[glittery apr-]] I-I MEAN [wedding dress fit for royalty!] L1KE THAT!!! N0T EVEN AS A [[measurement]]!!!

He starts waving his hands around to blur the image on the pop up, as if hoping that that alone would make it go away.

*PLEA$E [leave a suggestion in our] [[filthy garbage]] IF YOU’D L1KE US TO RESTOCK!!! NOW LET’S [[stop talkin’ and start buying!]] OK?!?

[thebigshotman]

9. What’s the most unhinged late-night idea you’ve ever actually written?

MUNDAY QUESTIONS!

Dunno how “unhinged” this actually is, but when I was figuring out in my head what I wanted my Spamton to look like, I knew I wanted to go as full-tilt with the puppetization as I could. Leave no stone unturned in reinforcing how truly puppet-like he is now. This means he has no heart or stomach, he has a voice box instead of a throat, you get the picture.

Then I got to his hair, this swooping shape that doesn’t seem to move around in game at all. For a good few hours I considered making his hair a plastic shape and not actual hair. Y’know how some ventriloquist dummies like Slappy from Goosebumps have short hair that’s just kinda part of their head? It would’ve been like that, just a little larger.

But at the last second, I pivoted to an equally fun idea: His hair is now made of fake wig hair, and that fact is hidden with mounds and mounds of hair grease and gel (as well as trash from over the years). Any hair tugged out from stress or scuffles just kinda disintegrates in his hands.

He got roasted for being technically bald once years ago, which wasn’t my intention lol. But it was still a fun moment!

[thebigshotman]

*THE [[CRT]] WE4RS [[heat resistant aprons]]!!! TH3 [[CRT]] WEARS [[elegant lace aprons for sale]]!!! HAEAHEAHEAHEAHEAHEAHE!!!!

His body is glitching from head to toe from how hard he’s laughing.