[boybouncy]

𝙔𝘼 𝘽𝙊𝙔 𝙄𝙎… independent and selective je'von evans. 𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝟭𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀. au based. on this blog, je'von's match against sami zayn for the united states championship ended in a victory, making him the youngest title holder in the history of the company and skyrocketing him straight to the main roster. he's mine now. heavily affiliated with countouts, latin0cheat.

as stated above, this is an au based je'von. i'm confident a lot of his character will stay the same, it's more the situation that's new, but if you'd rather send asks to an nxt-based je'von, you can find him over on my multi, pinfalles.

au timeline: on the 26/09 episode of smackdown, je'von answered sami's open challenge and pinned him after an og cutter. this necessitated a callup, as je'von now holds the united states championship and needs to be able to defend it on the main roster.

je'von won't always be champion! at some point he'll have to lose it, but the point of this au is to explore what being a champion so young does to and for him. i'm okay with him losing at some point. could even be fun.

exclusives: all muses on countouts.

i will not interact with the following: performers deceased outside of kayfabe. kane, the undertaker, brock lesnar, chris jericho, the steiners (not you bron), jaida parker, tessa blanchard, austin theory. sabrina carpenter, melanie martinez, taylor swift fcs.

i am mutually exclusive. inbox memes/starter calls are for mutuals only.

[boybouncy]

cannot wait until je'von wins a title so i can put it absolutely everywhere. you people will not go a single second without seeing this guy with some gold

[boybouncy]

@countouts 𝙟𝙚'𝙫𝙤𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣. "everybody hates a tourist."

"tell me why you here then, goofy!" je'von's punched his ticket in one of the surest ways there is, walked into this new den with gold on his shoulder and a target on his back. he's not taking shots from old rivals when all of the new ones are so eager to pounce. "like, damn, enjoy your trip and all, but why you sightseein'? miss me already?" something in him flares when they sneer. always has, and will until he gets to an age they can respect, je'von guesses, but it's always worse with ethan. no man in boat shoes needs to look that smug. "we got good security on smackdown, brobro. you wanna push me, lemme see how fast they run on out here."

[boybouncy]

@chvmpisms 𝙟𝙚'𝙫𝙤𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙤𝙡. “you ever get that feeling that maybe change wouldn't be so…”

he looks at her for a long time, belt stretched over his jittering knees. je'von rocks on his ankles, criss-cross, palms pressed hard to keep him stable, grounded. a hard thing for the two of them, but manageable in company. so much is changing for him, and so fast, too, that he can't quite manage to put himself all the way back in sol's shoes. "it's comin'," je'von says, with the conviction that a simple truth warrants. "they eat you and your girl up every time y'all show out. 'sides, you're killing it." he nods to both of her prizes, smile widening with each bob of his head. "you about to be sol-four-belts. biggest change is gonna be gettin' through tsa with all them."

[boybouncy]

je'von hiding behind half of the women's locker room looking at you like this :P because he's instigating a fight but you can't punch him without all of the girls getting mad at you

[boybouncy]

@countouts 𝙟𝙚'𝙫𝙤𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨. "you can't manufacture a miracle."

"ain't nothin' manufactured about this!" je'von hefts the title over his head for what must be the ninth time in as many minutes. the effect is lessened somewhat by this room of stiffs and suits and ever-recording iphone fourteens, but a smattering of polite applause comes his way anyway, which is better than nothing. he's gonna have these people sighing into their sleeves before the night is up, but je'von can't help it. he's overflowing, barely able to sit still in his seat. these press scrums are rare on nxt, and the twitchy little supervisor they've assigned to him seems to be noticing this in real time. poor dude. "i'm the champ, unc! fought for it, earned it, uh, holdin' it, probably gonna polish it up a li'l when i get home..." je'von turns to face the belt in his hand, looks into his own bulging and magnified eyes tinted gold. "i'll show y'all this wasn't no miracle. if i'm champ, i'm gon' fight too. maybe we not gon' call an open challenge right away, but, you know, we defendin'."

[boybouncy]

@countouts 𝙟𝙚'𝙫𝙤𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙚𝙫𝙞. "you've come a long way."

everyone has told him some version of the same thing. even sami was complimentary, when the shock had ebbed away — je'von will always be thankful his first seconds with the belt weren't tainted by some bitter thing, though now he's faced with so much of the soft stuff he sort of feels all tucked up like a baby. swaddled, somehow, like the world's sharp edges are being filed down as he's approaching them. he smiles for evi, peeks over the rim of his belt in the hopes of making her laugh. she's always been pretty, moreso when she's smiling. "aw, c'mon, chill. you gon' make me all embarrassed or somethin'. what, you got baby pics in your bag now?"

[boybouncy]

the old heads all have a bone to pick. je'von's been dodging bozos and their dumbass opinions for years now, near enough ten of 'em, so he's used to the ducking and weaving he needs to do backstage. it feels as though ethan is every snide face he's ever laughed in rolled together, some big mushy combination of every mean old dude with too much time and too many losses. the dude's a champ in his own right, but here they are, and je'von's the one smiling brightest. "what's good, brobro? hey, ayo, pause, if you the north american champ, but i'm the u.s champ..." he holds up, finger tapping his chin, "does that mean i got america back? you reppin' for the canadians for sure, for sure, but the u.s got me now, right?" @countouts, 𝗷𝗲'𝘃𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻, ♡

[boybouncy]

simple tags <3

𝙔𝘼 𝘽𝙊𝙔 𝙄𝙎… ic.

𝙔𝘼 𝘽𝙊𝙔 𝙄𝙎… champ ver.

𝙔𝘼 𝘽𝙊𝙔 𝙄𝙎… loss ver.

𝙔𝘼 𝘽𝙊𝙔 𝙄𝙎… meta.

𝙔𝘼 𝘽𝙊𝙔 𝙄𝙎… answer.

𝙔𝘼 𝘽𝙊𝙔 𝙄𝙎… manners.

𝙔𝘼 𝘽𝙊𝙔 𝙄𝙎… out.

𝙔𝘼 𝘽𝙊𝙔 𝙄𝙎… inbox.

𝙔𝘼 𝘽𝙊𝙔 𝙄𝙎… queue.

[adoredrps]

𝗘𝗦𝗖𝗔𝗣𝗢𝗟𝗢𝗚𝗬 𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦.

stream better man (2024). feel free to adjust/edit as needed.

"i am all of the above, babe."

"i haven't got a clue what to do with you."

"what am i gonna do with this crush?"

"what am i to do, man?"

"not sure what i'm doing all day."

"i have what you want."

"if you want me, here i am."

"not sure i understand this role i've been given."

"my head speaks a language i don't understand."

"i just wanna feel real love."

"i've got too much life running through my veins."

"i don't wanna die, but i'm not keen on living either."

"i scare myself to death."

"there's a hole in my soul."

"come on, hold my hand."

"you can't manufacture a miracle."

"the silence was pitiful."

"love is getting too cynical."

"you analyze everyone you meet."

"may you find that love that won't leave you."

"something beautiful will come your way."

"all your friends think you're satisfied."

"they can't see your soul."

"i got my catholic shame."

"basically, it's all come on top for me."

"i wasn't me when we met."

"you haven't lost my respect."

"i'm here to make money and get laid."

"i'm a star, but i'll fade."

"when i'm alone, i'm too loud."

"thank you for keeping me company."

"you've all been so nice to me."

"i know much smarter men never got this far."

"i've got so many regrets."

"i've smoked too many cigarettes."

"i've had more blondes than brunettes."

"i'm not expecting your sympathy, but it's all been too much for me."

"i'm getting to grips with what you said."

"why don't we talk about it?"

"why don't we break up?"

"there's nothing left to say."

"i'm easily bored, is that okay?"

"i'll walk away."

"let's pretend we never met."

"i'll go out and find another you."

"there's just no pleasing me."

"don't fight the feeling, relax."

"the knots are in your back."

"just keep breathing with me."

"you've been thinking too much."

"you only hurt yourself."

"hello, did you miss me?"

"i know i'm hard to resist."

"it's hard to be humble when you're so fucking big."

"come and take a piece of me."

"if you don't see me, i don't exist."

"what's the point in hating me?"

"you can't argue with popularity."

"i'm just young and overrated."

"i'm not scared of dying. i just don't want to."

"if i stopped lying, i'd just disappoint you."

"don't spoil my day."

"please don't talk that way."

"you've come a long way, baby."

[adoredrps]

𝗕𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗠𝗔𝗡 (𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟰) 𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 - 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝗢𝗡𝗘.

taken from the (incredible) robbie williams biopic. feel free to adjust as needed.

"i've been called many things - narcissistic, punchable, shit-eating twat..."

"i wanna show you how i really see myself."

"don't fuck it up."

"i'm like a chainmail condom, nothing's getting through."

"nice one, dickhead."

"you really are fucking useless, aren't you?"

"you're a fucking nobody."

"where i grew up, you were meant to act small."

"my dna is cabaret."

"i came out of the womb with jazz hands."

"you've got to risk it all, whatever it takes."

"if you make it... it's paradise."

"you're either born with it or you're a nobody."

"i wouldn't change a hair on your head."

"i don't want to be a nobody."

"love, there's no such thing as a nobody."

"have you seen the fit one with the big bulge?"

"i'm going to fuck it up, i know it."

"just go out there, sing your fucking song, and walk off."

"i'm going to be found out. they'll see that i'm ugly, i'm stupid, i'm untalented."

"i'm not good at anything."

"i thought to become famous you had to be really, really good. turns out you just have to show off."

"i usually go over people's heads."

"he left us to be one step closer to his gods."

"shut the door on your way out."

"i know what i'm going to be."

"listen, don't embarrass yourself, yeah?"

"fuck me, you'd make an awful stripper."

"i thought he was going to blow you right there on the pitch."

"i don't need all that fancy shit."

"you've got a ticket to heaven and you're gonna stay here?"

"i've got a bastard of a headache."

"look at you. you've got no talent."

"it was a shock, but, you know, in a good way."

"who's this dickhead in those trainers? they are so three years ago."

"he was a genius. an actual genius."

"he sang like an angel, but he danced like a twat."

"in five years, we're all going to hate each other."

"i was fucking great, wasn't i?"

"you were a bit much, frankly."

"just remember what you rehearsed."

"i'm not bothered they say i slept with them."

"you know, i almost started to like you."

"i think he's developing a sense of humour."

"why would i want a bigger house to hide in?"

"i'm just giving the people what they want."

"i pretend the whole world is lucky to see me."

"you add nothing to this. any of it."

"you owe me a pint, love."

"i wish i'd known you were coming."

"what have you got to mope about?"

"it's like i can't keep track of who i am anymore."

"everything you have, i've given you, and you don't deserve any of it."

"you're making us look like fucking idiots."

"there's an energy to revenge, and it's very, very seductive."

"i'm going to be fucking massive."

"i just want to prove i can make it on my own."

"i told you, you wouldn't understand."

"it's not a competition. it's just hard work."

"you've missed me, haven't you?"

"i'm going to be a dad."

"if i orgasmed every time i had a number one, i'd be fucking dry."

"like he fucking knows what we're fucking talking about."

"it's how you know you've made it, fucking knobhead."

"are you going to do it, or are you going to pussy out, you fucking wimp?"

"thankfully, he wasn't in the country at the time."

"hey, twinkletoes, you coming or what?"

[unbecomemes]

kevin can eff himself sentence starters (pt one)

living in new england is just like that. warnings for drug/alcohol abuse and emotional abuse. feel free to change wording and pronouns as needed.

“i do love a planning phase.”

“nothing says 'party' like your flowcharts.”

“someone has to be responsible.”

“you ever get that feeling that maybe change wouldn't be so…”

“pick up your trash. it's not that hard.”

“i don't think this actually would really make a lot of sense for us right now.”

“ladies always do it in the movies.”

“i wanted to feel fancy.”

“can't some things just stay the same?”

“it's a fresh start.”

“we can be everything we always wanted.”

“i can see us now, lying in that bed.”

“we can finally do that thing you say we'll never do.”

“i have always wanted to have the boss over for dinner.”

“if I do this, you have to behave, okay?”

“i must be crazy coming back here.”

“it's…elegant.”

“we're having a party and you're thinking about cleaning up?”

“i never get to be one of the boys.”

“just swear. ‘eff’ is so much worse.”

“it’s a party, not death row.”

“do you ever think about maybe trying to have just a little bit of fun?”

“maybe indulge in a hard seltzer?”

“i’m tired of trying.”

“i really think if i could start over and go somewhere else and just do everything right this time, i can finally be, like, done.”

“he said that things were gonna change.”

“do i never finish things, or does he take them from me?”

“what are you supposed to do if you can't close your eyes and picture a future where everything's okay?”

“dreaming's useless with him around.”

“you know what happens when you try to be funny.”

“i never really thought of us as a ‘we.’”

“i felt sorry for you. convincing yourself all your dreams are gonna come true…it was hard to watch.”

“i'm bad with cringe comedy.”

“good boys don't get to do anything fun.”

“this is my first time sneaking out of a house.”

“why'd i wait so long to do something like this?”

“i can't believe how much time i've spent talking about nothing.”

“i don't know when i got so isolated from everyone.”

“you're the one who pulled away.”

“you wanted someone to listen and nod and agree with you.”

“i feel like i don't even know this version of you.”

“she is a sexy little contraption.”

“i'm always impressed with how you can make ‘nothing to do with you’ all about you.”

“you hate them as much as i do.”

“i learn so much being married to you.”

“why is everybody up my ass this week?”

“we're in that mutually-assured destruction territory now, yeah?”

“you're the most self-controlled person I ever met.”

“i was so drunk, i don't even remember his name.”

“people pay good money to be locked inside a room.”

“sometimes i think she thinks i'm an idiot.”

“nowhere's better than anywhere else. they're all just bad in their own way.”

“up until minutes ago, i didn't know i liked you.”

“you just watched him and laughed.”

“he didn't like that i had something that was my own, so he took it away from me.”

“the world revolves around him.”

[boybouncy]

starter/meme call for when it isn't 2am <3

[boybouncy]

starter/meme call for when it isn't 2am <3

[boybouncy]

𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐎𝐘 𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐘! — ind. sel. au based je'von evans. by dirk. follows from 𝗺𝗮𝟭𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀.