Been working on a game! Here’s some progress I’ve made. I make weekly vlogs about my progress and post them to my YouTube channel: sockmakesartandstuff
This mod was a bit experimental, I tried to step away from dummy13 frame+armor approach specifically for limbs, to keep them proportionally thin – bc Ena already has pretty big head comparing to my other guys, and I want to keep my gang loosely in same scale (13 series models fall roughly in 1:12 scale meaning quite a lot of props you can find). My solution kiiinda worked, with drawbacks such as very inconvenient printing for several parts, some hard to assemble parts, some sanding and "seams"
Also this time there was a bit more painting involved bc I didn't have exact color matches for them. And faces weren't easy to paint. But I think it worked pretty well overall!
I am incredibly proud to announce that applications for The Upturned Zine are now open! The form will close after April 30th, so please send in your application before then. APPLY HERE: https://forms.gle/bzsLQEiH5pjY2g3d6
I said I would take some time off, but given the gravity of recent events, I feel it is my responsibility to inform the community. Zeal recently uploaded a video to YouTube titled "i have killed myself," which was deleted approximately 5 minutes later.
As you can imagine, the video is a farewell message and a supposed response to the serious public accusations made by REN. However, over the course of an hour, Zeal fails to provide any evidence that clears his name or defends him in any substantial way. He limits himself to pointing out three minor inconsistencies that are easily explained given the context of the abuse. In his own words, because of how quickly his team and the community cut ties with him, there was "no reason to keep going."
Most disturbing is that he once again claims his relationships with REN were consensual and mutual, going as far as to apologize for "being bad at sex." This statement, besides being disgusting, completely downplays the nature of the assault allegations. He even refers to those episodes with nostalgia, as if they had been positive experiences, only to then label REN a liar and claim he doesn't understand why they did this.
Later, he apologizes to his work team (programmers, animators, artists, and external collaborators), lamenting that he ruined their reputations and "wasted" their talent and the time they dedicated to Pressure. He also speaks in what appears to be Danish for about 7 minutes to address his family. The video concludes with Zeal crying and constantly repeating his intentions to take his own life, expressing fear regarding the outcome of this entire situation.
It is vital not to be deceived. What we are witnessing is an emotional manipulation tactic aimed at both the general public and REN. They specifically stated that they did not want Zeal to hurt himself, and the fact that he is using self-harm as a response proves that, once again, he has no real consideration for the victim’s feelings or well-being.
While the community was processing this, the user who re-uploaded the video reported that Zeal was allegedly in the hospital. Hours later, a new statement emerged, this time attributed to "Zeal’s mom," threatening to take legal action against REN for supposedly damaging the developer's reputation, career, and mental health.
It is important to understand that this is another form of intimidation; legally, a defamation lawsuit would crumble in the face of the overwhelming amount of evidence presented, and a "damages for emotional distress" argument would hardly succeed when the truth is the primary defense. The real goal of these threats is usually to financially drain the victim, clean the accused's public image, and force a narrative shift from "aggressor" to "victim of harassment."
However, the most recent update suggests that all of this might be a sham to buy time. Zeal's account was detected as active on Roblox, presumably playing Arsenal, while he was supposedly hospitalized. Furthermore, a deeper investigation has raised suspicions about the authenticity of his mother's account, which appears to have been created for this purpose and shows signs of being an alt managed by him.
Finally, i want you to know, REN, that you have our full support and solidarity. It is devastating that you are being subjected to these fear-based power plays after showing such immense courage, but you are not standing alone. Your truth matters, and we will continue to uphold it against every attempt to distort the narrative.
To the community: stop playing Pressure and withdraw all financial support. Continuing to engage with the game now means actively enabling an abuser. Do not feel guilty for your past support—you didn’t have the facts then; however, now that the truth is out, the responsibility is to act.
This goes beyond Zeal. People like Wil, Kat, and Zerum, who were aware of the situation and chose silence to protect their profits, are accomplices. Choosing money over human lives is inexcusable, and they must be held accountable as well. No piece of entertainment is worth the cost of a person's safety and dignity.
Please take care of yourselves and try to take a break from this situation as well; I know how heavy and difficult it is to process. I will keep you updated if anything else comes to light. In a few days or weeks, I will decide the future of this fan-project, but for now, it will serve its role in spreading awareness.
during this time, its important to continue showing our support to Ren, given what they went through and given what ive heard about responses to the doc
(starting off with this cause its important), if youre unsure of how to do this, i believe the best ways currently are:
- stop playing pressure, dont buy the gamepasses or ugc, reach out to makeship for a refund (if youve bought the figurine)- essentially do not give the game and devs any financial support
- go to Ren's socials and express your support/ give positive words
- make your stance and support clear
- listen to Ren's music (all of the money from streams and youtube views should go to them and them only!)
(these are the ways im aware of currently, but if theres more, which i assume there is, please add those in the comments!! just cause i think itll be easier to find that way?)
though alongside this, as some people have pointed out, its also important to take care of ourselves.
(i go through some context and then what actions ive taken that i think have helped me through these times below vv. i just felt that it was important to have this ^^ have more attention, cause theres a lot of writing from now on)
pressure was special to a lot of us. for me, is was the first piece of media i got so hyperfixated onto, ive never gotten this attached to any other media i like. but this is also the first time ive experienced having a hyperfixation be tainted like this. and, for a lot of us, it currently feels like we're missing a part of ourselves, or we're struggling to 'turn off' the love we have for the game
so, as someone whos experiencing this for the first time and surprisingly feels a lot better compared to yesterday (although its probably cause ive started moving to the stage of anger), heres some things ive done that i believe has contributed to me calming down because i want to try and offer as much support as i can to those going through the same thing
this may not work for everyone, but im hoping something here will at least help one person. if i can do that, and possibly encourage others to leave their own tips, then ill be happy
(i will ramble a little bit about my own experience and what ive done/ felt specifically. this is not for 'sympathy points', you do not have to comment on these and i dont expect you to.
but i believe that if you understand where my advice is coming from, youll be better able to understand why i think it may work, and youll be able to decide whether itll work for you or not, based on the context it worked for me)
play other games you currently enjoy and have enjoyed in the past.
this is one ive seen a few people mention now, and i do agree that its helpful! BUT, i need to also point out that this may not help immediately.
yesterday, i tried to play Journey. its been a while since ive played it, and it has a lot of sentimental value to me. i got through a lot of the game and then i physically had to stop and leave, because i felt so hollow and playing the game only worsened that.
theres a chance that this could happen. but dont give up if it does! id recommend doing some other things on this list and then going back to the same/ a different game. this is what i did! i took a break from Journey, did something else, then played Untitled Goose Game, and i found it a lot easier! and it helped me calm down and relax a bit
2. watch some videos youve laughed at before
this is what i did when playing games didnt help. before this, with every reminder of what happened and what Ren went through, i kept crying and needing a few minutes to try and recollect myself. it was rough, and emotionally i was super down. so, i just put up some old silly videos and watched them (specifically, i found some of slimecicles old videos with friends, cause watching a group of friends act like idiots in games is delightful to me). and although initially it didnt do much, i did eventually start to laugh, and that really helped bring my mood up
you can also do something alongside this, to try and stimulate your brain more. for me, i started lightly doodling in the evening, and that helped my mind stop wandering a bit-
3. eat at least three meals a day!!!
this ones important, and one ive regrettably neglected, so maybe i dont have a say in this, BUT this is something to focus on!!! and im not saying to make three full meals a day, but at least eat something for the meals youd have-
this can be anything, as long as you eat!! because something is better than nothing!!! it also helps to make foods you genuinely like!! i struggled to eat yesterday and i assumed i would today too, especially since i skipped when id usually have lunch (which, for context, is usually a 'game over' for me. if i dont eat food on time, i then cannot eat food until the next meal time comes around-). but then i remembered i had most of the stuff to make a burrito ive been looking forwards to, and it got me to get up and actually make food!!
it can also help to get one of those meal replacement drinks if you can! ive seen some people be judgy about them or find them weird, but (at least the ones available to me) they do have everything you need to substitute a meal. i dont think its a good idea to have them for every meal of the week, but those can help if youre really struggling to make food, or eat!
4. talk to people!
this doesnt have to be about how youre feeling/ pressure, though if you think itd benefit to get your thoughts out, go for it.
for me, i just had some friends reach out about casual stuff. and although it was tricky for me to respond initially, especially with how low energy i was, it did help to focus on something else more positive.
i 100% recognise that responding to messages will be difficult, especially because it may feel like a chore. thats how its been for me, though i also understand im probably feeling that at a less intense level. but i would recommend trying. you dont have to put in the effort to respond how you usually do either, make it as easy for you at possible.
for me, i just told a friend i wouldnt be able to respond to every individual thing she sends like i usually do, but that shes free to still send stuff that ill at least put a emoji reaction to. and she understood, and that was it. theres no pressure for me to put all my energy into the interaction, but im still responding and doing something other than sitting with my thoughts, which isnt good for me- (and i get to see funny lil videos thatll hopefully cheer me up-)
5. if youre an artist like me, draw something.
it can be absolutely anything. dont draw it with the expectation of making something good. dont draw it with the expectation of posting it. just draw something for yourself.
i almost spent the entire day yesterday not drawing. which felt weird, because ive been almost drawing non stop for the past couple of weeks. or, at the very least ive been looking forwards to drawing something. so, i think me suddenly not having the energy to do so contributed to everything feeling worse.
so, i doodled. not anything special, nothing ill show. just lil doodles of a redesign. and although i didnt get far, although i didnt have much energy for it, it did help me feel a little better, it made my day feel a little more 'normal'. i did this alongside watching videos, so that may be good to do!
(you also dont have to draw something specific! i didnt do this, but sometimes it can be nice to literally just scribble on a piece of paper and get your emotions out through that. do what feels right to you)
6. (this ones a random one, but) have a small wet towel for your neck/ face
this is something i dont have proof that it works, but something i just sort of do and trust when im feeling especially anxious and overwhelmed.
the idea is that a cold towel (SPECIFICALLY COLD) against my face/ neck will let my brain focus on that sensation, and therefore calm down. like throwing cold water on your face to wake up. (it also has the added benefit of letting you dry your tears while stopping your eyes from feeling so heavy and puffy afterwards : D )
again, this isnt one i can confirm actually works. but its what i did throughout the day and when i went to sleep. during the day, i just had it on my neck, and then used it to wipe my eyes and face (to mimic splashing my face with cold water), and then for the night i just laid that towel over my face, specifically my eyes, and tried to relax. and id say its helped? if youre able to try it, it may be worth it regardless, in case you get a placebo effect-
7. think about your music choices!!!
this is coming from the belief that music can absolutely have an impact on your emotions. i strongly believe this, and im conscious of this whenever im feeling a certain emotion strongly.
id suggest to stay away from overly sad songs. im not saying to go for overly happy and upbeat songs, though. you can if youd like and youre feeling up to it! but for me, that feels weirdly tone deaf and i think id actually feel worse if i did that-
so, id suggest looking for calm songs that have a positive message, or at the very least arent sad. id recommend the 5AM album by Amber Run, and the Atlas: Ennenagram album by Sleeping At Last! these are both albums that have calm songs, but arent necessarily sad, and most of them have a positive message! and i think these songs are important in the current moment, because it feels less like theyre trying to force me to be happy, and it feels more reassuring and soft, without amplifying my sadness
8. start working on something!!
this is vague, though only cause it could apply to literally anything.
for example, i was already stressing about a lot before the document came out. and after reading the document, i became uncomfortable with the idea of posting pressure related stuff. but there are certain aspects i want to be okay with (eg cedar), so id need to think about what to do, which is another thing on my 'to do list' that im stressing about.
so, i actually tried tackling some of them. i tried attempting to write a story for cedar to exist in, and i doodled vague ideas for a sebastian redesign for this story. i havent done more, and it may take a bit for me to get back to it, but i started something. and although those tasks arent done by any means, it did make me feel a bit better, cause it was one less thing bouncing around in my head.
so, if youre stressing about something directly tied to the current situation (like redesigns/ a rewrite), or even if its just something else youve put off for a long time in general, try starting one of those tasks without the expectation of finishing it. it can help, and at the very least it may make things feel less overwhelming
some extra general tips that id like to offer, just based on what i try to do to cheer up/ feel better:
give yourself a treat!! for me, if im struggling to do something, or i feel especially anxious, i like to find something that ive been saving up, put on a funny video, and eat it. i did this a few hours ago with an ice cream sandwich after actually making my first meal (as a lil reward for that and doing uni work), but you can also just do this if you feel your mood going down!!! so id recommend trying it if you can, you deserve something nice : D
wear something warm!!! i tend to get quite shaky when anxious, so i like to put a hoodie on or something warm in an attempt to trick my brain by saying 'hey!! im wearing something warm! therefore im not cold, i can stop shaking!' and although it may take some time to work, it does eventually help and make me feel better
let yourself cry, let yourself ramble to yourself. i do the latter moreso, cause it can help to understand how youre feeling and process that. crying can help as well, cause it lets you release your emotions, but i do understand that that isnt something everyone will easily be able to do. its not something i can do easily, even though ive cried a lot-
journaling also helps!!! thinking and rambling about your emotions is one thing, but actually writing them down can help you process them easier!! and then theres the added benefit of being able to spot patterns over time that you can then tackle!!
remember, youre not in the wrong for grieving a comfort game. i can confidently say that a lot of us are grieving not because we feel like we have to leave the game behind, but because we dont feel good about the game anymore. we know what happened to Ren, and we're choosing to go through this because we cannot in our good conscience continue to support the game. and thats okay
so, do what you can, take care of yourselves, and continue showing your support to Ren.
(if you have anything else you want to add on, either for tips or how to support Ren, feel free to put them in the comments!!!
i highly encourage you to leave your own tips, cause i recognise that a lot of what works for me may not work for others for multiple reasons, and id like it if there were more options for people to try-)
i hope that you all are supporting ren. all day i’ve done nothing but read about what happened. it hurts my heart that someone so undeserving got abused like this. i’ve been through sexual harassment and assault myself and what zeal did was beyond disgusting. he is foul and so is his crew of bootlickers. this is my fuck you to zeal, zerum, and whoever else spat in ren’s face when she was already down.
hi I don't normally post these on Tumblr, but this lovely person only gave me their Tumblr account to tag! Thank you so much for chatting with me, @boygerbish!
Woah thats me! Thank you so much for interviewing, ever since I started cosplaying 5 ish years ago I fantasized about the possibility of getting interviewed, it was a very meaningful experience to me!
baratheonpilled
dailybridgerton
jacobvanloon
