I am transmasculine. I don’t really “identify” as a man, but for safety purposes that’s how I present myself at work and to strangers. My partner and I were lesbians before I came out. She didn’t stop having feelings for me or being attracted to me. We still go to the same events and clubs we went to before I came out. We’ve been together for 10 years and I don’t have plans for a relationship outside of the one I have with her, but I imagine if we broke up I would continue to date within the same circle, because that’s who I know. There are other people with transmasculine and transfem partners among our friends. I really struggle to see why I should be defined out of the lesbian community just because some of you aren’t into people on T. I don’t know who it hypothetically is supposed to help if I’m made to feel more uncomfortable and unwelcome. I’m not asking anyone to be attracted to me or to men, any more than trans women in the gay guy scene are asking those men to be straight. I’m just like..around. Gay ftm identity isn’t threatened by the inclusion of trans women in gay male culture, so why should transfem lesbian identity be inherently threatened if we are welcoming to lesbian transmascs? Community is not a limited resource.
"I am transmasculine. I don’t really “identify” as a man, but"
...but you're gonna come into my inbox assuming I was talking about you anyway when I said "men"?
"My partner and I were lesbians before I came out. She didn’t stop having feelings for me or being attracted to me. We still go to the same events and clubs we went to before I came out."
Came out as what? Not-a-man? You can be a lesbian and not-a-man, you know. It's really quite easy, in fact.
"I really struggle to see why I should be defined out of the lesbian community just because some of you aren’t into people on T."
Who said anything about people on T? We were talking about men, not endocrine systems. Your bioessentialism is showing.
I'm not sure how you could read anything I have ever written and come to the conclusion from it that I think having testosterone bars one from being a lesbian.
"Gay ftm identity isn’t threatened by the inclusion of trans women in gay male culture"
What inclusion of trans women in gay male culture? Are you talking about the entertainment? Why would trans women want to be included in male culture anyway? We are not male.
Also, "ftm"? The 1970s called and they'd like their assigned-sex-first language back.
"why should transfem lesbian identity be inherently threatened if we are welcoming to lesbian transmascs?"
The conversation was about men, not lesbian butches who took some T to enjoy some masculinizing effects.
The issue is when trans men are included in lesbianism under the guise of them having a ✨special connection to womanhood ✨ (i.e., the transphobic belief that trans men are actually female), and the corollary of that is that trans women are male, do not have such a connection, are imposters in the lesbian scene, and so forth.
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