Otterpops

vent / crashout blog | IWC 18+ only

[bpd-mystic-fox]

🫧about me. . .

"I'm trying my hardest. . . .

⟡⠀basics . .

★⠀ ┈ ⠀welcome, thank you for finding your way here to my little corner of tumblr. this isn't my main account, that being @syth-de-rolo, i use he/they pronouns mainly, but accept some neopronouns just ask if you are curious. i am multi-sourced introject and host of the @the-undercity-collective. ★⠀ ┈ ⠀I don't fully know what is going to happen to this blog over time but we will learn that fully together won't we?

⟡⠀byi . .

★⠀ ┈ ⠀please understand that this blog is a bpd/venting blog. this blog will have posts containing very possessive behaviors, vents, and more. if this makes you uncomfortable, maybe consider not interacting of following.

⟡⠀dni . .

★⠀ ┈ ⠀basic dni, endo, radqueer, transid, narc abuse believer, "reality shifter", pro-contact or anti recovery para. minors also dni, we are bodily 26 and it makes us uncomfortable.

⟡⠀extra notes . .

★⠀ ┈ ⠀this is and more than likely will only be an account used when I am severely upset or spiraling, I will still tag major things if I feel the need to but might not. Also please watch tags before replying/responding, certain people may no matter what and they know who they are. ★⠀ ┈ tags: #venting for reply #venting for relief #irl experiences #memory/source experiences

. . . . . not to act how I feel."

[bpd-mystic-fox]

shout out to the garbage ex friends that made me feel and think that having empathy for my actions was manipulative and it made me a horrible person. Now because of you I cannot feel bad for things I do without having an anxiety attack and bottle up my feelings even more until I want to get sick :3 I hope your life is going bad and I'm glad your favorite show ended with a wet fart

[bpd-mystic-fox]

Of course of course OF FUCKING COURSE

Of course stuf fucking breaks when I have no money to fix it. Guess im just not allwoed to play video games anymore. Cause fuck my life.

Fuck everythingI actually enjoy fuck having happiness im just only allowed to want to constantly die.

[bpd-mystic-fox]

Parent completely ignoring us all day

Fun fun

No it's okay we didn't have plans to go out nahh it's fine

No I just don't exist it's okay

[bpd-mystic-fox]

im just going to close tumblr so I stop annoying people..

sorry..

ill be on discord..

[bpd-mystic-fox]

Mmm not even 5 seconds in the door from their job and the parent is asking me about jobs and unemployment and looking for a job..

yes please continue to remind me im a failure

continue to worsen my depression my reminding me I still dont have a job

thank you. thank you so so much

its just what I need

[bpd-mystic-fox]

Mmm I kinda want to just.. disppear into the background... where I belong..

I dont deserve anyone.. anything good anything happy. I just deserve the darkness of the wallpaper and the background..

I deserve to be alone

I deserve to be jobless, moneyless

I deserve to be homeless honestly..

Mmmm..

I dont know why I bother with these blogs. They might as well just be empty ones

[bpd-mystic-fox]

I'm sorry.. just for everything

For being depressed all the time

For being broken..

For being a problem..

For always being a problem and and complaining...

I'm sorry...

[bpd-mystic-fox]

Mmm I kinda want to just.. disppear into the background... where I belong..

I dont deserve anyone.. anything good anything happy. I just deserve the darkness of the wallpaper and the background..

I deserve to be alone

I deserve to be jobless, moneyless

I deserve to be homeless honestly..

Mmmm..

I dont know why I bother with these blogs. They might as well just be empty ones

[bpd-mystic-fox]

How am I.. after so long.

Still really bad at small talk. Or finding things to talk about?

When I really just want to talk to people. Ugh

I always feel horrid. I just want to talk to people yet our brain just flatlines thinking of topics

[bpd-mystic-fox]

I don't want to give up my plans for my birthday... I dont' want to..

But I don't think I am going to have any choice...

Mmm

[bpd-mystic-fox]

This week is going to seriously suck. I can already feel it...

[bpd-mystic-fox]

Parent is getting sick so more than likely all these birthday plans Wednesday I was looking forward to all month are going to get canceled. Cause of course they are. Fuck everything. I'm not allowed to be happy I guess I'm not mad at her, not her fault she caught whatever is going around. Just.. fuck man.. This one day. ONE DAY is the day that really makes me feel wanted. Like I'm not just a ghost to everyone and garbage Mmmm not like anyone remembers my birthday anyway...

[bpd-mystic-fox]

mmm blehhh

should be on here more just.. mmm no motivation to try with no interactions

[bpd-mystic-fox]

I shouldn't really be complaining its my own fault really

[bpd-mystic-fox]

mmm blehhh

should be on here more just.. mmm no motivation to try with no interactions

[bpd-mystic-fox]

This week sucks... please just take it away already...

[bpd-mystic-fox]

Mmm dont know what to do today Should probably clean house but.. Mmm isn't our mess is just parent but.. Mmm dont wanna get called lazy and unhelpful again..

[bpd-mystic-fox]

welp work offer was confirmed to be a scam of course it was how could I be so fucking stupid to think otherwise and to think i thought this year was going to go well welp just back to my hole then time to apply to 1500000 more jobs just to get ghosted this is what I get for assuming I'm worth anything but the money a bullet would be

[bpd-mystic-fox]

i deserve to be ghosted i deserve to be scammed i deserve to be thrown in the back of a closet like the overused garbage i am i deserve it all i deserve the pain i just deserve it...