BPD and Aspie's Problems

This is my sideblog to post shit when my mental illnesses are showing up. Mostly about struggle with BPD and Asperger's Syndrome, but phobias and panic disorder may show up here as well. 

[harley-bpd]

being self-aware about bpd is so embarrassing, like you literally know how irrational you’re being and yet your emotions don’t get the memo. you’re stuck lashing out at people and asking if they’re mad and all the classic bpd symptoms, and you’re just cringing inside the whole time.

[bs-bpd]

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[lifeisshortandyouarebeautiful-d]

Do any of y'all get so lonely because all you want to do is find love and happiness but you feel like a burden to everyone you meet and then anyone who shows you the slightest bit of interest you obsess over until it pushes them away? Yeah same.

[vexingdelusions]

Having Borderline Personality Disorder means going from feeling euphoric and great for a while then a small hint of rejection or abandonment comes then you spiral back into chronic emptiness. It also means having an identity crisis and not recognising the reflection you see in the mirror. It’s constantly dyeing your hair different colours to match your new personality. It’s changing jobs, goals, and aspirations because of your unstable identity. It’s fearing abandonment deep down to your core that you leave people before they leave you because you want to avoid that feeling of abandonment at all costs. It’s having zero self control over your thoughts and your extreme mood that constantly swings over the smallest things. It’s being impulsive: it’s having unprotected sex, it’s being promiscuous, it’s binge shopping, it’s binge eating, it’s running around the streets jumping on a stranger’s car. It’s being emotionally dependent on other people. It’s latching onto others and being overly attached to them. It’s obsessing over the smallest things. It’s having inappropriate anger. It’s being an unpredictable roller coaster. Being borderline means a lot of things. It also means being passionate, when you love, you love so much that it burns you up. It’s experiencing every emotion 10x stronger. It’s having gone through so much emotional trauma that you become resilient. To all my borderline warriors out there, you’re all so strong and so brave and I’m so fucking proud of you for being here today. You’ll be okay, stay strong and have faith in yourself.

[bpdbot]

gotta love that bpd rage when you feel like you’re about to explode out of your skin and then within 5 minutes you’re completely numb again it’s really just a great time

[tempusedax-rerum]

my intrusive thoughts

who am i?

i hate you

i don’t deserve to be alive

i want to die

🔪🔪 🔪

i want to go home (i am home??)

fat ugly stupid

i should kill myself

something is wrong

[abuuse]

me??? obsessed with the memory of my abuse??? whaaaat???

[bleasepd]

hey guys just…massive shoutout to people with bpd. We really hurt so goddamn much but get through it somehow and our heads really convince us the world is breaking but we find ways to put it back together. thank you guys.

[pariaaaaah]

mood swings and splitting

sorry for the eyestrain, but i feel like it gets the point across of how hard on my head this illness is, just like how hard this is on the eyes

[fightingborderline]

That bpd feeling when you know you are going to fuck up but you can’t control your feelings so you go on with what you were doing

[lifeisshortandyouarebeautiful-d]

You met me when I was good. Don’t leave me now that I’m not.

[thatthursdaygirl]

*opens up about mental illness*

friend: you seem pretty normal to me, maybe it’s just all in your head

*ends up ghosting on me once my symptoms show up*

[lovenotlogic]

slight inconvenience: (happens)

my brain: there’s only one thing that we can do!

me: think about it rationally??

my brain: overreact and slip into a depressive phase!

me: well you really can’t argue with that can you!

[theprincessandthebpd]

bpd things should talk about more

sooooo i haven’t seen a lot of posts about these symptoms (i use this loosely, i am not a doctor) but these are some things I experience, let’s chat

• hearing voices

• feeling as you though you have another “personality”

• BLACKING OUT when dissociating

• how bad the anger gets…how it burns; wanting to destroy and rip everything to shreds

• the guilt for the things you say/do when you think you’re about to be abandoned

• doing everything to avoid disappointing someone you care about bc they will leave you

[siickangel]

don’t pretend like you did

[siickangel]

and I hate it