Pixie Af

16 • Emerging Bpd. Sad all the fucking time. I'm also super boring.

[unspokengrief]

idk about you but im trapped in a brain that hates me and im exhausted

[ginkotree]

*goes to make a personal post* actually you know what never mind better internalize this shit

[bpdpixie]

Medsafe app: You should have taken your pills 5 hours ago you wreck. Look they're right next to you you barely have to bend to reach them

Me: -getting nausea and head whooshes- call the police i dont give a fuck

[goruma]

my brain: ur dumb/annoying/ugly

me: 

[bpdpixie]

Texts I'll never send pt.1

I know I should just leave it at that but not talking to you makes me feel so so so so much worse and I wish you’d just come on the conversation so I could see the lil camera thing pulse in the top right bc then I’ll know you’re thinking about me but I imagine you’re trying your hardest not to think about me and I know I said we couldn’t do anything about it and we should just leave it but I didn’t mean that I didn’t want to talk all night bc I don’t really know how I’m meant to cope with that bc I talk to you all the time and idc if that’s unhealthy nothing about me is healthy and I wish you’d just say that you love me so I can get some sleep but I know you don’t and I know I won’t sleep and I can’t stand all of this not knowing what’s going to happen or what’s going on in your head and I’m sorry for causing you all of this grief and I’m only typing this to keep my hands busy and to stop thinking about it all but I can’t and I won’t and oh shut there u go typing again and you sent a message that I can’t reply to bc you said goodnight already but you didn’t say that you love me bc you don’t and you never will again and I’ve ruined the best thing to happen to me in a while but then do I say that about all of my relationships because I always feel so so in love but with you I feel like you get me and even though you’ve caused so so much more pain than anyone else I love you just the same if not more and holy shit this is killing me but at least you sent that message so I know you’re thinking about me and I don’t want to stop talking ever I could talk to you forever about the most random shit and I know we won’t last past the summer when you go but I don’t want to give this up before then and I’m still waiting now to see if you’ll say anything else or see me typing not even come back on the conversation because to me that’ll show that you do care but I don’t think you do anymore I think you’re in too deep and I’m too much to handle and you just want out and now that you don’t love me anymore you could have that but you won’t and that confuses me so much and I think I’m running out of things to say to keep my hands busy but I love you so much and I don’t want to stop for an instance and holy fuck this hurts so much I just want to go to sleep but I can’t eat I can’t sleep not knowing what’s happening with us so I’ll just waste away until you say you love me again and then I’ll be okay because all I want is you and your love and I love you I love you I love you

[coldafternoon-deactivated202102]

congrats im the worst person alive none of you have to worry about being It anymore

[pdghoul]

Don’t you just love anxiety based nausea? :)

[bpdspyro]

god, i love bpd and the way it just [clenches fist] [splits violently for no actual reason]

[flowerbpd]

imagine having an illness that kills 1 in 10 people…..and imagine people not taking it seriously…..huh….kinda sounds like bpd

[stinkyhat-deactivated20231213]

BBQ

blease be quiet

[sickfake]

me: hoe don’t do it me: *lets all of my happiness depend completely on someone i know i’ll eventually lose* me: oh my god

[bpdpixie]

Me: I just want to have one good day, no crisis, no negative emotions. Just a nice, chill day.

Me: *deliberately triggers myself*

Me: why does this happen to me i just want to be happy

[bpdpixie]

Brain: If you're not someone's favourite they don't like you at all

Me: That is literally not how it works

Brain: Okay but what if it is

[audhdummy]

i wish someone liked me for who i am but i don’t even know who i am

[tlenekwodoru-deactivated2018121]

♡ idle teen ♡

[audhdummy]

don’t fucking self promote on my posts and don’t reblog them on your artsy neurotypical sucky blog in the first place

[borderline-crowe]

Tbpdfw you can’t tell romantic attraction from platonic attraction and obsess over anyone you’re even remotely attracted to.

[angelictrauma]

therapist: reminds that they have other patients besides me me internally: 🔫🔪⚰ 🚨🗣 me externally: right !!

[npdbpd]

tbpdfw you’re literally jealous of every person your fp talks to but you can’t tell them about it because it’s not right and jealousy is a sign of an unhealthy relationship and you aren’t even dating !!!!!!