Pretty Borderline Girl

Australian, a mum & fkd in the head

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Me me me me me me me

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Just go for a walk

Get outside

A new one I've recently encountered (it's your gut health that's causing this)

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Has your head ever convinced its self you can't breathe? Because same xoxo

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Currently being tested for adhd and couldn't relate more to this

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Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool

- Jake Peralta

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We cool

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The road is rocky my friends

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Me all week

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My partner is currently doing his first fifo stint (fly in, fly out) it's like a popular way of working in Australia and my BPD is ACTING UP so I've been busy crying, splitting, preparing myself to be broken up with etc so hey I'm back

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*Update on my post earlier on*

We had sex and probably will for the next week so now I'm fixed.

THIS is splitting. THIS is me.

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I need to get some shit out;

I am in a massive slump in my relationship and it's fkn killing me. We've moved house and dealing with shit from work and in the process my partner has forgotten about me, it's been about a month and I am aching, my heart is sore, I feel empty and confused. I know we glorify our partners so when in a moment like this I wonder am I seeing him for him without me putting him on a pedestal or am I just splitting? Are all the things I'm finding wrong with him things that he's actually doing or am I making it up ? I feel so cold and distant towards this person, I have expressed how I feel MANY times because I'm working on effective communication but I'm being and I keep anticipating that the power is in his hands. I am constantly working on myself, fact checking every opinion I have, making sure it's correct so I'm not just saying these things for the sake of it, I'm desperately reaching out for him to help and he's doing nothing. He suffers from PTSD, we bonded over trauma (obviously) and possibly more so I understand he has problems with memory, falling through with plans, focus etc BUT if your relationship is on the line and you really want it to work wouldn't you make it a priority ? Wouldn't you?

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I used point #1 as my reason my entire teenagehood without knowing it was a common response. I then saw this a few weeks ago and the fact it's how others felt the same way made me see I wasn't alone.

2ish years free from self harm XOXO

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I share a lot of bad things about bpd and things my head does so here's some happy fun times stuff about us xo