Person.

She's all Alone. Looking for a Friend. A real true friend to be there for her.

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I don't... I understand why I feel this way..

All of a sudden.. this sad feeling came over me to the point where I can't even finish my dinner... my daughter is eating her late night snack with her grandmother and I'm sitting up here slightly depressed while listening to music. While my boyfriend/ future husband is watching a football game.... this is one of the "lows" of my mild biploar they was talking about... Oh yeah. I found out that I have depression AND mild bipolar. And the thing is... Jonathan said that I can come to him anytime that I need to..... but I just can't seem to do so for some reason.... The truth is... I feel like it was easier to talk to him when we had first started talking... I just feel Lonely and down... why oh why.... I feel like.... I dunno.... I just feel so sad... And I hate to leave this post off on a bad or unfinished note but.. I also feel like I don't even know how to blog anymore..... *sighs and shakes my head while looking down*

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Feeling so sad and pregnant

I want to explode. Ever since I found out I have gestational diabetes my whole world has changed all over again it feels like.... but this time it felt like for the worst. Like how could this happen to me?? What did I do wrong?! I eat more healthy then the whole house. But it's just you're body.... and..... I realized it's not my fault... but that doesn't change the fact that I still feel the unbearable pain each day I breathe. This not only effects my baby but me as well in the long run.... And that truly scares me.... like... truly scares me. I feel so lost sometimes. Each day I have to stick my fingers 5 times a day and eat the same foods AND eat it on a timed schedule and I feel SO FUCKED RISTRICTED I can't even have a coke anymore. Or pizza.... or all the other foods that aren't good for us.... but it doesn't changed the fact that I want them... At least not yet. Pleaaseeee Universe help me get through this...

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[sunflower-mama]

LOOK AT THIS AWESOME GIFT I GOT TODAY….not….

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Back

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Oh haunting.... how it grows and grows.... how you take it personally that I turn in the other direction. Don’t be crude my love. I just need space.

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I don’t know what to write.

I.. don’t know what to write... in which the title is totally obvious... but the   truth is I’m still learning and trying as hard as I can to let go.. of past experiences and recent experiences... but the truth is.. how do we get better at letting go? that’s what I literally just asked myself... I try and try but all it seems is just to blow up in my face. I’m in love.... with this person who is so amazing to me. I’m even using the persons laptop right now to type this post. but I can’t seem.. or I’m still trying to let go of someone of the past. it feels and seems everyday I am battling this fight. to just.... Let Go. he was horrible to me at some point. but  yet I continue to hold onto him. maybe I’m not ready, Maybe it’s the fact that I am Somehow am not ready.....

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My Head

my head hurts... unbearable pain fills my veins

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Lost..

She's lost... debating between her mind and what's in her heart... also what's best for her heart... while she's also taking into consideration about what everyone else says... or shall I say what her Mother says... when really it's not about her Mother... it's about the daughters life not the Mother's. but she cares what her Mother thinks of her.... what shall she dew tho? theres also something else... The guy.... who she believes is her Soulmate. who is the Soulmate. Because they always find there way back to eachother. But the guy... has the problem... which is tew speak up... and he won't oh he won't.. but she thinks it's because if he does.. ya know speak up.. then.. things will be different in his point of view.. He clings to not looking weak. He also clings to being Independent. but what is more Important love? your Ego or....... Me?

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Sorry..

Everyone and all of my followers for not posting anything lately... I've just been really busy with stuff.. but I see that I have 2 new followers which is great and I'm really happy about that Cx but yeah it's 2:22 am and yeah xD Nighters yall.<3

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Don't understand..

Why things have to be a certain way... I mean I dew but it's not fair. I've never used a toaster for waffles before and from now on I won't eat waffles here anymore. I'm not going to do what he says just because it'll be more convenient. So fine Mother.... you can eat the rest of the waffles yourself. cause I'm not touching them EVER again in this "house" Not to mention if you really pay attention to how much electricity you guys use you have no right to tell me I can't use the fucking oven to cook some fucking waffles it's just stupid as fuck and childish to me So uh yeah... pathetic.

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Oh please..

Oh please Universe... I reeeaaalllyy want to see this special person today. Please let "It" leave today please... I would be ever so grateful.

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Happy fucking Earth day.

How ironic there's 1 day out of the year that we ACTUALLY celebrate "Earth day" Anyways. I'm going down hill in my life. Spend my nights lonely, reading, or crying or even listen to music. That's my nights again after we took "another break" AND I might even have a new stalker now. so that's about 2... *holds up her fingers* what a fucking day.

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What color are your eyes? :)

Brown.

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I seriously

Need to end my suffering... but I don't know how. I guess time and learning to accept the descion that was made. And to meditate....

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Heart Broken.

My heart is broken... so I have to find a way to piece it back together... this is the worst that has happened involving my heart being broken for the first time. And quite frankly I'm terrfied on how this is going to turn out. I love him so much. More then I have loved anyone. Ever. And I'm not sure what's going to happen next.. how is the future gonna turn out? will we somehow be together again the following month? or next month? the month after that?... I don't know! Shit this is scary... but I KNOW this is best for me and him for the time being... I just hope that we'll soon connect again like a puzzle that hasn't been finished yet.