The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

Brandon! Level 27.

[thememedaddy]

[disgruntled-foreign-patriarch]

Hence the invention of the Porch

[pillarofawesome]

[90smovies]

[anxietyproblem]

[thatonekimgirl]

I’m gonna take a shower first. || Oh, I should… me too.

[coxinyoface]

nintendo: can't have alcohol in our child gambling games!!! solution???

vacation juice

[sovietsofficial]

Me after consuming nineteen (19) glasses of vacation juice:

[bilsonwradshaw-deactivated20211]

[freegucci-deactivated20150516]

Me: No one is hiring me

Adults: you’re just not trying hard enough

Me: oh yea, sorry about that. Let me apply “harder” this time. I’ll be sure to write my contact info extra “hard” this time. I’ll make sure to touch up my resume and make it hella “hard” this time around too.

[twentiesordie]

preach

[star-anise]

Adults:  You just need to hit the pavement, knock on some doors, call the hiring manager!

Every job application ever:  PLEASE NO UNSOLICITED VISITS OR PHONE CALLS.

[lemonsharks]

Fact: Our reception pool forwards the names of people who call unsolicited on to HR, who puts the names on a DO NOT HIRE, CANNOT FOLLOW DIRECTIONS list.

[othercat2]

This is what is the most terrifying about re-beginning the job search.

[knight-of-trash]

Fact: My brother was a store manager at AT&T for several years, and handled the hiring process. People that would call and call about the job wouldn’t get hired because, “They seemed to be the kind of people that would constantly need attention on the job, or wouldn’t make a good fit in customer service, because they don’t have the patience to wait for us to call them back.”

[lesbiangender-deactivated201908]

Meanwhile I’ve always been taught to do exactly those things because it “shows that you care and take initiative”

[thatdisasterauthor]

Here’s how I got my new job:

Made a profile on Indeed.

Crammed that fucker with every damn skill and job I have ever had. That time I ran roller-coasters for a month? On there. “Property Managing” my mother’s rental for six months because she was too lazy to drive over? On there. ALSO. If you are skilled in, say, Photoshop, don’t JUST put Photoshop as a skill. Also put Adobe Suite, Adobe Photoshop, etc. Put every possible term for your skill under the skills. Google skill lists and start slapping them in there if you have even a tiny bit of skill in them.

Downloaded the Indeed app on my phone.

Set up a saved search to show me all full-time jobs paying $15 or more per hour in my area, and set it to only show jobs with instant apply. I did not narrow it down by field or anything else. Just full-time, my area, $15/hr.

Wrote up a three sentenceish generic cover letter that was basically “I am good at customer service, client management, and handling the variety of tasks this job will involve. I will be available on X date and would love to speak to you about this position at your company.” But slightly more professionally put.

Just fucking clicked apply on everything. Anything that sounded like something I’d be willing and probably able to do. Like, I wasn’t applying to mechanic jobs or anything. But front-desk at a mechanic shop? Sure. Towing dispatcher? Sure. Print shop coordinator for some fancy real estate agency? Sure.

The beauty of Indeed’s mobile/quick apply is that once you’ve set up your profile on there clicking apply is literally all you have to do for about 75% of the quick apply jobs. Some will have a couple additional questions like how long you’ve done certain things, or when you’re available to start. Some have random fun questions like your favorite superhero (usually startups). You click that button and off your resume goes.

I spent about an hour every day doing this, submitted several hundred applications in the process, and heard back from…maybe 20. Got an interview at 4 or 5. Got hired at an insurance company that pays RIDICULOUSLY WELL. Took about a month.

Do I want to sell in insurance? Not particularly. But this job will support me, my art, my ability to buy a house, and PROVIDE RESIDUAL INCOME ONCE I RETIRE. Which. If I play my cards right I could do in as little as ten years.

Your mileage may vary with this technique, but given the way job hunting is set up now carpet bombing an application site like Indeed is always worth a shot. I will note that when I came across a job I thought sounded extra interesting and more in line with the fields I wanted to be in I’d save the application instead of applying, then take the time that night to put together a better full application.

Good luck. Job hunting is terrible.

[chongoblog]

This is all solid advice. One more piece of advice is be on the lookout for any career groups. If you manage to join any they can be a huge help whether it be making connections or just helping to keep your head on straight.

[rainbowkarolina]

Captain Marvel (2019) dir. Anna Boden & Ryan Fleck

[bilesandthesourwolf]

omg why did they leave this out of the movie?!?!

[rinahale]

Because men would have burst their ball sacks on the spot seeing this!

[animusrox]

Die Hard (1988) dir. John McTiernan

[thecutestlittlebunbunfairy]

Merry Christmas y'all

[wheezingghoulbois]

Shane and Ryan’s reoccurring sentiments towards the rich.

[cinemapix]

Parks and Recreation | S06E08

[tumblingtumbleleaves]

[ifyouseewhatimean-blog-deactiva]

Yes Pedro.

[southernsideofme-deactivated201]

[anthoniejcrowley]

We’re both dip shits.

[imchevychase-andyourenot-blog]

[miscgoth-deactivated20230115]

Color Asks

red: describe your favorite shirt

orange: if you could, would you change your eye color? why? to what color, if so?

yellow: name of an artist you think is underappreciated

green: do you have a favourite flower?

blue: preferred type of weather?

purple: a poem you think describes your closest friend

magenta: do you keep your fingernails long or short?

turquoise: favorite sea animal?

fuchsia: favorite land animal?

cyan: are you religious? spiritual?

sea green: can you fold a fitted sheet?

violet: are you a part of the lgbt+ community?

amber: what's saved as your phone's lockscreen?

aqua: do you thrift?

pink: what's your natural hair color?

beige: have any pets? what're their names?

black: would you ever try going vegetarian or vegan?

coral: an animal you wish hadn't gone extinct

grey: how many languages do you speak? do you want to learn any more?

maroon: do you care for clothing brands?

rose: favourite scent on a person? 

charcoal: have you ever been camping?

claret: do you play an instrument? do you want to learn to play any?

copper: gold or silver jewelry?

cream: any piercings or tattoos? do you want any?

salmon: how many pairs of sunglasses do you own?

ebony: would you ever want to play a game on television? (jeopardy, family fued, etc)

indigo: have you ever lived on a farm?

emerald: if you had the option, would you choose to move and live in another country? which one?

lavender: relationship status?

erin: what was/is your best school subject?

mauve: any unpopular opinions?

fulvous: another name you think would suit you

coconut: a subject you enjoy learning about

frost: a -core you enjoy

porcelain: an tv show you used to love

fawn: any interesting family stories?

gold: do you wear your socks mismatched?

honey: your thoughts on magic- does it exist?

rust: form of art you enjoy doing?

ginger: any sideblogs?

cherry: YouTubers you enjoy watching?

wine: do you have a 'type'

mahogany: your sun, moon, and rising signs

blood: twin beds, queen, or king?

hot pink: did you/do you had/have strong feelings against the color pink?

plum: a food you've never tried

lilac: dogs, cats, or fish?

amethyst: do you collect anything?

mulberry: earbuds or headphones?

azure: jean jackets?

teal: have a job?

denim: kill the spider or take it outside?

sapphire: do you think you can sing well?

mint: favourite flavour of gum?

pecan: shuffle your playlist, what's the first song that comes up?

penny: icecream or cake

ash: can you do your own makeup?

jade: ever written fanfiction?

grape: how many blogs do you follow?

umber: do you brush your teeth before you eat?

chestnut: type of phone you have

prussian blue: what's your first choice at the vending machine

aquamarine: beach or pool

brass: least favorite food condiment

mustard: how much sugar in your tea/coffee?

silver: ever broken a bone?

rose quartz: rings or necklaces

onyx: do you still play Minecraft?

burgundy: ever ridden a motorcycle?

scarlet: favorite holiday

apricot: opinion on 3 in 1 body wash/hair wash 

platinum: do you follow politics?

magnolia: your Instagram handle?