Miming the Cornflower Field Choir
Poetry: Inspired by Sarah J. Maas' ACOTAR Character Tamlin
I never asked for the power imposed on me, wasn’t taught how to lead, tradition imbedded in me.
I never was made to feel worthy of love and the only mate who had offered me a place was greedy and cruel - something I sundered from.
I was lost and broken when you found me and was broken still when you left me.
You were restoration to my blight - you saved the world, so you became mine.
I’m sorry I can’t be what you wanted to see in me.
I wish I was brave enough to live for you, as you died for me.
I wish I could take all my trauma and watch it blossom into something new but instead of burying it in the ground I buried it inside of you/me until we could no longer take another fill it poured over our passion - virulent.
Possession and overprotection manifested from your limp body cradled in mine.
I wanted things to go back to wistful afternoons, mirthful fiddles, paintings, wildflowers tangled in your hair.
But we were just two broken people trying to make our pieces fit back together.
I never meant to make you feel trapped, ignored, unheard I only wanted to shield you from the horrific aftermath of the inevitable war.
You sacrificed yourself for love at the very least you deserved some peace.
But you wanted to let the pain scar you, burn through your body and char you- my home in ruins.
You didn’t want protection
You needed reciprocation.
And now I pay the price for what I lost-
loving you was the only thing I had left-
And what it cost-
I gave myself up to that fire, threw myself in-
into you and burned-
A harrowing odyssey
To exile.
