written words, unspoken thoughts

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In marriage, the grass grows greener.....on the side of the fence you water most

Dr. James P. Marshall, The Marriage Garden

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The Antidote

If you are guilty of one or more of the Four Horsemen, here are a couple of beginning steps that you can take to improve your partner communication:

1. Listen before you speak. Always be conscious of the fact that both you and your partner have feelings. Each of you wants to feel heard, understood, and respected

2. Take responsibility. Own your part in the issue, and offer ways on how you can work towards a resolution

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The Four Horsemen

When your horse gets too high, hop off and take a look at the company you are leaving behind.

Criticism: Are you critical of your spouse? When you criticize your partner it is easy for them to perceive that something is wrong with them. This can feel like an attack to your partner.

Contempt: Do you often make statements, call names, or roll your eyes at your partner? These behaviors can ultimately lead to a lack of respect and/or tolerance in the relationship

Defensiveness: This often comes in the form of victimization. Whether you choose to be the victim or place blame on the other person as a defense mechanism, you are destructing your relationship.

Stonewalling: Stop shutting down! Stonewalling is when you completely withdraw from interaction and shut down to your partner. In some cases you may even physically leave the situation. In doing so you are showing your partner that in that moment you have no desire to offer effort towards the relationship. 

WHAT DO WE DO? 

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WELCOME

Well hello, hello! 

If you have found yourself here, 1. you have made a fantastic choice today 2. you may (or may not) want some tools and tips to help your marriage thrive!