Sam Evans - Season Six
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@braveofheart
Sam Evans - Season Six
For The First Time [Flashback] || Fabrevans
theravenclawfabray:
Quinn had always been able to tell when someone was taken by her and more often than not, she paid it no mind but with Sam, it wad oddly charming. Something that made Quinn smile despite herself. She could only nod slowly as she watched him attempt to reach for the food. Seeing it out of his reach caused her to frown somewhat, and she stood up the, going to the side of the bed to pick it up herself. She placed it gingerly on his chest with a light chuckle, as she sat back where she had been. “If you want to eat, you should. I have no problem bringing it to you.” Maybe it was natural for her to worry but it was as if the instinct in her was amplified in this moment.
Part of her imagined that Sam would say something comforting, to ease her worry. He had always appeared to be that kind of guy every time she had heard of him before. Still, Quinn was almost transfixed into staying. She honestly imagined that she wouldn’t be able to focus on much else if she left Sam there on his own, regardless of whether his friends showed up at some point or not. “I just don’t want to wear out my welcome, that’s all. I do know that Madame Pomfrey is determined to treat you her way and while she hasn’t said it, she might think I’ve been here too much.” Her voice became a fraction quieter then, as she looked into Sam’s eyes. “If you would like me to stay though, I gladly will. I wouldn’t want you to be alone, after all.”
As Sam spoke and started to sit up, Quinn’s eyes widened slightly, immediately concerned that hie might hurt himself by sitting up. The blonde shook her head quickly, pressing a hand to Sam’s chest to encouraging him to lay back down. “Don’t be silly. I’m fine. You’re the one who needs to heal and I really couldn’t. I brought it for you.” Quinn paused then, a small smile curling up the edges of her lips. She had been called all different forms of beautiful in her life but for some reason when Sam said it, the words sounded far more sincere than she had ever heard them. “You did but I would say it’s unfortunate. That’s very nice of you to say and not humiliating at all.” She said in all honesty, ducking her head down somewhat as if bashful.
A wide grin split across his face as she brought the tray of food closer to him. "Thank you," barely passed from his lips as he reached for the muffin he'd wanted before. Taking a rather generous bite from it, Sam let his gaze find Quinn and shook his head vigorously when she brought up wearing out her welcome. Swallowing his bite, he sat up a bit more and looked at her with a warm but firm stare. "You wouldn't be wearing out your welcome, I just barely woke up!" He insisted, "I would like it very much if you stayed, honestly." Shifting awkwardly on the bed, his eyes dropped to the tray of good before him. "Nobody else is here so... Well, I would be kinda lonely..." In the back of his head, he couldn't help but dwell on the fact his friends hadn't shown. Not even blaine was around. It wasn't as though he didn't like his current company either, but it was still troubling. Nevertheless, he shook off the thought and looked up at the girl. At her agreement to stay, his grin grew large again. "Awesome!" And with that he took another large bite out of his muffin.
He laid back at her insistence but frowned. "Nonsense! There's plenty for the two of us. I won't keep you busy and not let you enjoy a meal too. C'mon, take at least one muffin and I won't bother you over it again." He carefully nudged the plate more in her direction and motioned to a muffin. "Go for it, I really won't take no for an answer, Quinn." Her name rolled easily off his tongue and it felt so right to Sam. Like he was supposed to say it, as dumb and corny as that sounded. He didn't move to eat anything else, not until Quinn at least took one thing. After all, if he was going to brag to Blaine and the others later about his 'sorta date' with Quinn Fabray, well he wouldn't want to seem less a gentleman for eating in front of her. That was not Sam's way, and his mother would never let him hear the end of it if he didn't show those manners she taught him.
Biting his lip, Sam glanced down, playing with a loose thread on the blanket wrapped over him. His cheeks were red as she spoke, excising his outburst gracefully. Everything she did was so graceful, it made Sam all the more intrigued with her. He heard a lot about her background and knew a bit about the veela effect on men. Some of his friends even joked about his feelings for the girl, stating they were just the power of her heritage messing with his head. But Sam knew better. When he looked up, she was glancing away bashfully. "It's not nice," he started, biting his tongue when he realized how dumb that sounded. He quickly rebounded. "It's the truth. And every beautiful girl should know that kinda thing so... No thanks required." He looked at her a split moment, trying to memorize every detail in her face before his gaze dropped and he blushed. "I'm sorry I'm probably the most boring person you could be hanging with right now. I promise I'm usually a better host!" He looked at her and grinned, "How did the game end anyway? Gryffindor take the win despite their captain's accident?"
JOURNAL DATED: JUNE 12, 2014
School's coming close to an end and each day that goes by makes me feel more afraid for the future. It seems like everyone's got their lives already planned out. Blaine's gonna go to WADA, most likely, become a star like Rachel and Kurt and be amazing. Tina's going... I don't know where Tina's going, but somewhere. And Ryder, Jake, Kitty and Marley are like, still gonna be at school in the fall so it's not like I can bring up the excuse four-squared's lives aren't exactly put together either.
I thought I had this all figured out. I would end strong at Hogwarts, get accepted to the Auror training program, move into a not-so-nice-but-decently-affordable flat with the girl I love and start working on our wedding - our future. I didn't plan for this. I didn't plan for any of this. Now I'm too distracted and who knows how my NEWTs will end up, and I'll probably blow this whole Auror thing, and I won't get that flat, I'll be back in the loft above my parents' home, and no girl.
Merlin that kills. No girl. No Quinn. I won't be getting Quinn back and I just
Got one last assignment for Frog Choir, gotta say 'goodbye'. Can't decide what I'll sing yet. Maybe I'll pester Blaine or Artie for a final duet. They'd probably have ideas. Yeah they'll have ideas. I'm not good at goodbyes, they'd know how best to do it. Better get to sleep now. Busy day ahead of me. Gotta... Study and start preparing for graduation.
Always thought she'd be there so proud of me at graduation. Guess you really can't always get what you want. I'll try to believe the Stones when they say 'if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need'. Maybe.
Maybe
-Samuel
Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven
For The First Time [Flashback] || Fabrevans
[Quinn smiled almost fondly at the boy in front of her. She had seen him before, he was hard not to notice, and had even noticed that his gaze seemed to linger on her in the halls when he thought she wasn’t paying attention. Quinn never chalked it up to much but being here, in this moment, she felt a strange connection to him. One that kept her rooted to her spot while for anyone else, she would have left in favor of not missing any more classes. When he spoke about his injuries, Quinn couldn’t help but still frown, moving her free hand away from his to lightly touch the bandages around his middle in inspection.
Quinn was far from a shy girl but as she innocently checked, her finger brushed bare skin and she could feel a warmth rise in her cheeks, causing her to pull back. It was so unlike her and she quickly shook her hand and proceeded to change the subject. Smile bright and voice firm yet gentle.] Until you’re fine, I don’t think my guilt will be any less. Being here for you is really the least I can do for causing this mess in the first place. So no matter a couple of bruises or broken bones, I’m going to make sure you’re well myself. [At his next question, she easily fell into the matter of fact Quinn that tended to come out in crisis.]
Oh, not too long. You did take that bludger better than most expected. Let’s just say that Quidditch match has been long over. I’ve simply been trying my best not to bother you while I’ve been here. [Quinn said with a soft chuckle, shuffling slightly on the bed as she looked down on their hands.] But enough of that though, I’m sure the boys in Gryffindor know more about the outcome of the game than I do. Do you need anything? I took the liberty to go down to the kitchens and pick up things for you if you wanted to eat. [She paused then to motion over at the stack of supplies she brought with her and to focus back on his eyes. They were oddly captivating and Quinn found herself almost getting lost in the kind nature behind them. The look of…some would dare say love, that he gave back to her. With a slight bite of her lip, she spoke again.] I must be overbearing on you right now, aren’t I? I can go if you’d like some time to yourself.
[ Without even knowing it, Sam's breathing had grown a bit heavy. It wasn't until her fingers brushed over his midsection, silk-soft fingertips swiping over a slice of bare skin on his rippled abdomen, that Sam caught his breath and realized how labored it had become. Blinking, his eyes caught on her hand retreating from the spot on his chest where it grazed his skin. He tried not to dwell on it, looking up at her innocently as she continued speaking. He shook his head but smiled gently at her. ] Okay, but I’m telling you I don’t blame you for whatever happened up there. [ Eyes on her, he couldn’t help but grin even more, just thinking about the fact that she – Quinn Fabray – was right there worrying about him of all people. Sam was sure he was in love with her, but he hadn’t felt more powerfully than he did for her than at this very moment. ]
You could never bother me. [ He blushed a bit at the straightforwardness of that statement. If she hadn’t realized his feelings for her yet, surely she was starting to get an idea with how he was reacting to her there. He would be grateful for just about anyone’s company, but hers was far more special. That he couldn’t deny. Following her gaze to the food and such she had brought for him, Sam’s grin grew wider as he tried to move himself to grab a chocolate chip muffin which sat on the platter. He grunted and winced a bit as he attempted to reach for it. ] Thank you! I didn’t even realize how hungry I was until now. [ He laughed as he reached, giving up on the muffin with a pout and grabbing a small cookie off the edge of the plate to nibble on instead. ‘Nibbling’ being Sam’s way to keep himself from overeating at the expense of his impressive physique – which he silently hoped she had noticed while being at his side. He was a little vain that way, but he was very hopeful nonetheless.
At her next words, Sam frowned at the tone of her voice. ] Overbearing? Nonsense! I- [ he paused, if only because he didn’t want to sound too interested in her company. Glancing down at the half-eaten cookie in his hand, he smiled shyly, shifting his gaze to look at her through his lashes. ] I mean… No, you don’t have to go. I would actually.. I would really, really appreciate it if you stayed. I mean, I appreciate the fact that you’ve stayed already, I just… [ he swallowed before chuckling nervously. He raised his head and looked at her with a sad little puppy-dog glance at her. ] Please don’t go. It means a lot to me that you’re here. Makes me feel a little less alone… [ His friends weren’t there, at least it didn’t appear as though any of them were lingering around the hospital wing to see him. Maybe it was because Quinn was the one there, because they all knew how he felt about her. Whatever it was, they weren’t there and he’d just barely woken up. He wouldn’t want to lose his only company that quickly. He looked back at the plate of food and frowned at a realization. ] Wait – have you gone to eat at all yourself? [ He looked at her, now more worried about her wellbeing than about his own. Shifting on the bed, the blanket falling off his chest and to his lap as he attempted to reach for the plate, he motioned between it and the girl. ] Please – if you’re hungry, please take some. There’s enough for the both of us anyway. You’ve gotta look after yourself too, not just the idiot Gryffindor who totally embarrassed himself in front of the prettiest girl at school on the pitch. [ He laughed before his smile dropped, a hand slapping over his reddening face as he shook his head. ] Did I just say that out loud or am I imagining the humiliating moment that just occurred one-point-two seconds ago?
For The First Time [Flashback] || Fabrevans
theravenclawfabray:
[Quinn had barely been focused on anything other than her thoughts that when Sam started to shift, it took her a few seconds to notice. When she did though, the girl sat up straighter and peered quickly behind her shoulder to see where Madame Pomfrey was. She wasn’t sure how Sam would feel when he woke up and she wasn’t against calling her if she needed to. Turning back to his rustling form, she saw his eyes slowly open and she smiled slightly, at least at calm that he was coming to after so long asleep.
When he said Blaine’s name though, she was somewhat confused and her brows furrowed but she soon pushed it off on him being a bit delirious. As tempting as it as to bombard him with questions, Quinn waited for him to come to on his own, carefully running her fingers over the back of his hand as if to soothe him.] No, actually. It’s Quinn. I’m sorry if you were expecting someone else. I just… [She glanced down for a moment with a deep frown.]
I’m so so sorry. I had no idea this would happen. Much less that you would get hurt in the process. Are you alright? What am I saying? Of course you’re not alright. Look at your head. [She commented on as she raised her free hand to brush gently across his bandaged forehead. Her fingers lingered there for a moment before she pulled back, resting both of her hands over his.] And all because of me and those barbarians we call schoolmates. [She sighed quietly to herself as she smiled down at him, shaking her head slowly.] Look at me talking so much. Quidditch, of course you want to know about that. Well…Headmistress is a little annoyed, I would say and she did throw around the word “cancellation” but I wouldn’t worry about that now. Your health is most important. [Quinn paused then and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.] How are you feeling though? Does it hurt terribly?
[He blinked when he first heard that voice, his body stiffening when he realized quickly who was actually with him. On any normal day Sam would be able to tell who was approaching him solely by scent. For whatever reason, he was more wolf than man and had this uncanny ability to separate distinct scents. He lent it to days in his childhood spent exploring and learning the scents of the world around him. Usually it was his way to communicate and decipher what was surrounding him. But with his head disoriented and all the strong smells of the hospital wing, he couldn't use that to his advantage this time. Turning his head towards her, he could only stare slightly wide eyed and surprised at who was before him.
Quinn Fabray. The Quinn Fabray. Quinn freakin' Fabray. She was the one there, not Blaine. Not Rachel. Not Kurt, not Marley, not just any Joe Schmoe - Quinn freakin' Fabray. He was not freaking out internally. ...okay, he was, but what else could he do? It was no secret - well maybe to the girl before him, but not to Sam's friends - but Sam Evans was hopelessly, recklessly, and helplessly in love with Quinn Fabray. And here she was, at his bedside doting over him, of all people. And her hand was on his hand. He could only stare at her as she spoke, trying to figure out if he was still dreaming or if this was in fact reality. It was one of those moments he wished MJ was around to bite his ears and wake him up. But she wasn't, no one was here. Just Quinn freakin' Fabray. Blinking at her, he leant into her touch when she stroked the bandages on his forehead, not even wincing at the touch. He was... Comfortable. No, so much more than just comfortable around her. He felt safe, happy, calm, and most of all.. At home. Which was peculiar, for being in the presence of someone he barely knew...
He realized then that she was asking him a question and he blinked a few times, trying to figure out how to speak. It wasn't just any day you were sitting with an angel after all! (Shit, he should have said that in person). Swallowing, he let a wide and at-ease grin slip easily onto his lips as he looked up at her. ] Oh, no. No, I'm fine. I mean - no, I'm not fine, but it doesn't hurt. Not that 'terribly'. [ he smiled sweetly at her, glancing down only when she squeezed his hand. ] Really - it's just a bump and a coupla bruises. I've seen worse. [ he awkwardly coughed at the implication but softened his features. ] Have you... Have you been here long? How long have I been... Sleeping?
We’re like fire and gasoline. I’m no good for you, you’re no good for me. We only bring each other tears and sorrow.
Baby, when we’re good, you know we’re great
But there’s too much bad for us to think that there’s anything worth trying to save
For The First Time [Flashback] || Fabrevans
theravenclawfabray:
[Needless to say, Quinn Fabray had never felt more awful in her life. She was always used to putting things into order, not causing them to fall apart so today was a new one in her book. As she hurried up the stairs, having taken the wrong set twice already, Quinn wore an ever present frown that was foreign to all of her classmates that watched her rush past. It was strange because Quinn was usually smiling, broad and shining, but today she was more concerned than anything and all because of one boy. How was she supposed to know that simply smiling in the direction of a handsome Gryffindor would cause a full on riot? Much less that it would lead to the injury on her behalf. Of course, she had always known that the power of a veela was strong but perhaps she had slightly underestimated the amount of pull she had.
Regardless, as Quinn had watched Sam fall from his broom, she was immediately attacked by panic and worry at his safety. It wasn’t something easily explained because she shouldn’t feel so much worry for someone she barely knew but Quinn couldn’t question what her heart was telling her to do. Because of that, the blonde had spent that last hours fiddling around the hospital wing, her eyes always flickering to the boy resting peacefully in his bed. Whether he needed her help or not, Quinn was going to be right at his bedside to make up for her mistake. It was the least she could do, really. After a few hours though, Quinn had felt she had more to do and had gone to the kitchens to pick up food to bring up as an offering. Her mother had always told her it was the polite thing to do. As she ended up back on the hospital wing floor, she came across Madame Pomfrey who eyed the amount of sustenance with a confused gaze, while Quinn proceeded to leave it all on the table by his bed.]
It’s for when he wakes up. I want to make up for what happened, if that’s okay. [Madame Pomfrey simply smiled and nodded, telling Quinn she was welcoming to stay and nurse the wounded boy. Quinn offered a polite smile in return and went over to Sam’s bed, sitting down on a small sliver of mattress next to his legs. For a moment, she could only watch him. Her eyes fell over the gentle fluttering of eyelids as he dreamed, his strong jaw, handsome face, the scars just across that face. To her, he was more of an anomaly than anything. She had heard of him and his behavior, seen the way he lived with such a carefree quality, and Quinn was intrigued, maybe more than a little. As she thought to herself, one of her hands fell over his and a new sort of smile came across her features, one so perfectly serene and yet dreamy, one that no one had ever seen on her before.]
[ Resting almost as still as the dead, Sam lay on one of the hospital beds lining the long hall. He was quite oblivious to the world around him, still under a deep haze from the medical herbs and skelegrow in his system. The only movements coming from his sleeping form was the gentle flutter of his eyes beneath his lids as he dreamed and the steady rise and fall of his chest as he slept. His eyelashes twitched against his cheeks as the scene replayed itself over and over, the outcome of the Quidditch game far different than he even realized. In his mind he and the lions triumphed over the badgers and that glittering grin was now right before him instead of several yards away, and slowing puckering as he leant in close to steal the victory kiss from the blonde Ravenclaw. Every boy probably had the same dream, but Sam thought it his reality. He won the game and now Quinn Fabray, the gorgeous French transfer, was kissing him into a stupor - fingers tangling in his soft bleach-blonde mop and rose bud lips grinning against his plump mouth. He could actually smell her in his dream, so vividly, that his fingers twitched a little over the cotton sheets.
In reality, Sam lay still and bruised and battered on a hospital wing bed; gauze wrapped tightly over his forehead to conceal the bruise and bump received from the Beater's club that whacked him off his broom, and even more of the herb-dipped strips wrapped over his bare torso where more injuries were sustained from his violent fall. Sam hasn't actually won the match or the kisses from his dreams; he won a dazzling grin and a whack over the head before plummeting to the ground. Tons of bones broken, internal bleeding, and a really bad bump on the head-slash-migraine later and it was somewhat a miracle the boy was in one piece. But magic was a miraculous sort of thing so there was little surprise it had taken so little to cure up the broken bones and seriously bruised skin. For now he just needed rest. And Madame Pomfrey wasn't the only one looking to make sure this happened. As the girl moved about the room, Sam's subconscious could only follow, the curious and wild animal in him making note of her movements while the teenage boy part of him continued dreaming.
Just as Quinn's tongue pried open Sam's lips in his dream, he felt something strange and rather "off". The young man's attention slowly drifted away from the tantalizing movements of the veela's lips against his own and towards a whole other feeling. All at once the windy pitch with screaming fans vanished and the weight of Quinn's slender body against his muscular form was gone, and the sensation of what he hoped his first 'real' kiss disappeared as Sam slowly came to. The first thing he felt was cloth and a firm mattress beneath him. The next, a gentle weight over his hand. And last - searing hot, throbbing pain. It was several minutes before his body caught up with his conscious mind, but even then he was still slow. An almost inaudible groan slipped through him, and his body shifted by barely a millimeter on the bed as he came to. He felt more pain, trapped beneath gauze which felt chilled with the medical herbs slowly healing his battered skin. His head lolled to the right slowly, one eyelid fluttering open a tiny bit to make sense of the blurry world around him. ] Ohhh... [ He groaned so softly, it sounded like a child mewling for their mother, and he blinked that one eye as he situated his head back against his pillow. He couldn't make out the person before him but he felt the weight against his hand and was fast to make assumptions, thinking of who might come to see him. ] Bl-Blaine? Is that you? [ he sighed, a pitiful sort of sound as his eye fell closed momentarily. ] Ohh, man, everything hurts... What... What even happened out there? I thought I won... Did I? Did I win? [ he suddenly grew shy as a weak little gasp escaped his plump lips. ] Oh Merlin, did I embarrass myself in front of you-know-who? Wh-what happened? Why does everything hurt... [ his voice was soft and sad, his body wincing as he tried to move only to lay back into the mattress again, awaiting an answer. ]
Once Upon A Full Moon || Fabrevans
theravenclawfabray:
I’m sorry. Maybe I’ve overreacted but if it was important, you should have found a time to tell me or at least mentioned that you needed to say something. I never expected you to blurt out anything. [As she spoke, Quinn felt her throat close up of its own volition and she felt the welling up of tears in the corners of her eyes. It was something she started to force herself to hide before speaking again.] I’m just tired of not knowing. I’m tired of being a stranger to my own life and the people in it. Do you have any idea how scared I am? There are tens of people in this world that know more about my life than I do and that scares me. I don’t like not having that control over what’s mine… [Quinn quickly glanced up and away from Sam, wiping hastily under her eyes. She hadn’t mentioned it to anyone but crying had made her feel more defenseless than she ever remembered being. It made her feel weaker than she already was and it only added to the fear of the unknown she already kept close.]
[Maybe Sam had been trying to hold back his feeling, to stop himself from making her feel guilty but Quinn caught every flicker of his eyes. She saw the way his body crumpled in on itself in the most subtle of ways. The way he wanted to break down completely wasn’t lost on her and it just made Quinn feel like she was ruining everyone’s life by being too daft to remember. She didn’t even want to speak and answer his muttered question. One he probably didn’t actually want an answer to.] I’m telling you the truth. I…I don’t know what’s going to happen, Sam. I don’t know if I’m going to figure out my life the same way. If I’ll be effected by the same events. Realism would be understanding that things might now work out. [Inhaling a quick breath, she willed herself not to let this get to her as well. Part of her wanted to just wrap him in a hug and tell him it would be alright, but even that, she couldn’t explain why she wanted to do it.] Do you honestly think I’m doing this to hurt you? I made a promise that I don’t remember. When I was someone I don’t know. I can’t predict the future. Just like neither of us predicted this would happen to me.
[He wanted so much from her and Quinn had no idea if she had that much left in her. She wanted everything to feel right and nothing did. Even the rush of emotion that came when Sam was even remotely around her, didn’t quell the overwhelming sense of dread that there was something bigger than both of them.] Do I feel something when I’m with you? Yes, I won’t deny that but I can’t just say that I love you and that can’t be the basis for everything. Believe me, I know it would save us both all of this hardship if I could remember but the fact is, I don’t know you like I did. I don’t even know who I am. I need to figure that out. All I right now is help doing just that. [She paused then, her fingers trembling along with her voice. Quinn knew she was putting a giant brick wall between them but to her, there seemed to be no other way.] I’m sorry. I really am.
[ Nothing broke Sam more than not being able to understand the sort of pain and confusion Quinn went through. It was the hardest part about her past, and what happened with Quinn before. Even when she tried to get Sam to understand. Even when she went through explaining it, walking him through it. None of this mattered, it still hurt Sam when he couldn't truly understand the sort of sorrow Quinn was going through. No matter how much he tried to hide it, he could see she was breaking, on the verge of tears. Sam knew her too well. And it tore him apart that he couldn't understand why it was so hard for her. He felt humbled, in the painful sort of way, as Quinn spoke out about the difficulty of being a stranger in her own life. He ducked his head and decided not to meet her eyes. He didn't want to look at his reflection in them, appearing as a stranger in her eyes instead of a lover. Swallowing, he kept his glance trained on his shoes instead of looking at her. ] No. I don't understand. [ It was all he said, and it wasn't laced with lies. It wasn't him pretending his problem wasn't even remotely like hers. It wasn't a silent badger at his own infliction. It was the honest truth. He didn't understand, and that was more painful than understanding. ]
I don't want to be 'realistic' if it means accepting a possible future without you. [ he spoke so hoarsely he wasnt even sure if she could really hear him but he kept talking, stepping closer towards her with these eyes burning with passion. That was so Sam, to be so passionate about something. It's what let him fall so often, become so disappointed. But it was something he couldn't help, and he kept going even though deep down he knew, in some way, he was setting himself up for failure. ] No we didn't plan for this, but we're gonna work our way around this. We're gonna figure it out. And I need you to believe that. Q, if you don't, it's never gonna happen but I know we can. We can fix this together. I need you to believe that and I will do whatever it takes to reverse this, Quinn. Because I'm not giving up on us. I can't.
[ He smiled then, one of those large and bright, handsome grins the girls always gushed about. It actually touched his eyes, solely at the mention of her admitting she felt something towards him, but it quickly fell the second she said she couldn't say she loved him and it just kept falling until it eventually disappeared and left his lips drawn down slightly at the corners. His eyes immediately left her and he stepped back again, staring back at the floor for a moment to collect his thoughts. It hadn't really occurred to Sam that she couldn't love him the same. He supposed that despite her lack of memory, Quinn would feel naturally attracted to him. He thought no magic could ruin what was between them. Lending it to the memory of his own 24 hours with no memories of Quinn. He didn't realize before how much it took to get Quinn to love him. It wasn't spontaneous like his feelings for her. They developed in a way that Sam couldn't replicate in a matter of days. His heart fell deeper at that thought, swallowing back the sob that wanted to escape him. 'We should've been getting ready to get married. Now I'm back to scratch...' ] Yeah. I understand. Sorry. [ It was all he said. Swallowing again, he looked back towards the highway, thinking about the library and the boy that sat there probably waiting on her. The boy she would probably turn to from now on. He blinked back the warm sting in his eyes and ducked his head to the side to hide the glisten from her view. ] I should get going. Gotta... Study for my NEWTs and such. You know how it is. [ he laughed awkwardly before glancing back at her, pulling on a half smile that never reached his eyes. ] Don't worry about it. Just.. You should be taking care of yourself. I'll be around to answer questions if you want to learn some things about your past. It's okay, Quinn. I... I understand. And, hey... [ he smiled again, though his eyes were frowning deeply back at her ] No harm, no foul. [ He gave her a curt little nod before turning on his heel and walking down the hall, his head bowed down and his teeth worrying his bottom lip and he kept himself in. He wouldn't let anyone see him break or cry outside of the walls where he found comfort. ]
Once Upon A Full Moon || Fabrevans
[Quinn watched Sam with cold, almost dark eyes because part of her felt betrayed. She was running scared, full force down a dark tunnel with no idea what was on the other side. There was little of anything that she actually knew and understood about her life and it worried her deep down in her bones. Maybe it was that that kept her from understanding Sam, from letting herself connect to her like she should have been doing. Quinn was not heartless enough not to understand how hard this was for him though. She couldn’t imagine having to carry such a heavy secret, especially one that he felt he had to hide from her until her memories were restored. It didn’t stop her from wanting her own answers, from needing to know everything and at the same time, not feeling guilty for wanting that kind of gratification.
It was a tug of war between what she knew and what she was going to find out. About herself, about Sam, about her relationship with him. In fact, it would be a lie if Quinn said she felt absolutely nothing when Sam so much as touched her but it only really added to the confusion burning in the back of her mind. When he asked her for a response, Quinn actually had to take a step back, her own golden eyes become glazed over with the weight of her emotions.]
I don’t know what you want me to say. Frankly, I don’t even know what you want from me. You should have trusted me like you trusted me back then. I know I’m not the same, that things have changed but I thought this might have been important enough to mention. [She breathed out for a moment and ran her fingers along the front of her dress, not even noticing that they shook faintly.] Sam - I understand that it’s hard for you. I understand that you have your own worries but..
[Acting on whatever bravery she still had, Quinn managed to make eye contact with Sam and held it. It pained her to do it, with the knowledge of how much of this was was her own fault.] You know, I can’t be the girl you remember because I don’t know her. Maybe I’ll never know her so you can’t expect me to be her and react the same way, you just can’t. I don’t know how I reacted to this the first time but I don’t hate you. Not because of who you are or what happens to you or what I saw. I’m just scared that there are so many more things I don’t know and I’m always going to find out like this. By accident. I don’t want to live like that, Sam. I want to know, I’m not some kind of special case because of what happened to me. [For a brief second, her hand twitched towards him as if wanting to take hold of his hand, whether for his support or hers, but she pulled back before giving herself the chance.]
I want to be able to trust you…even if it’s only ever as a friend. We both know that’s a possibility and while I may not feel like I used to, I don’t want to hurt you. We just have to be realistic.
This is a very personal detail of my life, Quinn. [ Sam interjected as the girl began insisting that he should have told her this. He shook his head, looking at the wall a moment before swiftly adding, ] That is the hardest thing to tell someone, and with everything going on with you, I couldn't find a good time to tell you - I couldn't just blurt it out at any given moment. We needed to talk, one on one. I needed the opportunity to let you know properly, not just throw it in with all the other details of your life you've forgotten. 'Ah, yes, you didn't get Head Girl Seventh Year, but you won Queen of the Equinox Ball, oh and I'm a werewolf, and you aced your final exams, if you were wondering' - It's not supposed to happen like that! It's not just any other detail of life, this is something important. I needed to be ready to tell you about it because I've never really been given the chance to properly tell someone what I am. It - It doesn't work like that. It's not that easy to tell someone what's wrong with you.
[ He was blinded by a slight range and felt rather offended. How could Quinn just expect him to be so casual about it? Didn't it seem reasonable to want a more appropriate moment, to really deeply talk about what she hadn't known about herself, him, the relationship they had? Her parents fought to keep them apart, Sam knew this. They wouldn't even let him go see her on her birthday. How was he supposed to find the proper moment to say "There's something I really need to tell you, can we talk?" Once again, Sam's secret came out in the most inconvenient of ways - by accident. A mistake. Someone happening upon it. It never came straight from his lips. He never had the chance to say it himself. He wasn't even sure if he really could say it himself. "I really love you, and I want you to understand everything you've forgotten. That's why I need to tell you this. When I was a kid, I got in an accident, and now... I'm a werewolf." Was that even an appropriate way to present it?
He was so lost in his own thoughts that he barely missed it when Quinn gathered the courage to speak. Eyes trained on her, he softened a bit when she said she understood it was hard for him. That was a good start.. but swiftly it was all headed in the wrong direction. His heart dropped the moment the words escaped her lips, and he tried not to focus on the feeling that the organ was collapsing into the pit of his stomach and shattering all the more from her words. His mind went back to when she found out before, to the owls between them. To her words. 'I told you that it doesn't change anything for me. I still love you.' He felt his hands quake at his sides as the words being said in his mind and before him contradicted. "I don't hate you." 'I still love you.' They weren't so different but then at the same time they were completely different. And as Quinn expressed her desire to trust him, the difference became even more obvious.
"...even if it's only ever as a friend."
Sam actually drew in a sharp breath from that, looking down at Quinn with eyes that were both unbelieving and full of deep sorrow. What could she mean? Why would she even suggest that? Staring down at his feet, his face contorted in pain and confusion, Sam let her final words sink into him. "I may not feel like I used to." 'It doesn't change anything for me.' "I don't want to hurt you. We just have to be realistic." 'I still love you.' The voices were the same and yet so different. One was cold, scared, confused, rational. The other was soft, quiet, affectionate, full of love. But they both hurt. Stung, sliced, and ripped at his heart, or whatever was left of it. Swallowing thickly, his throat burning from unreleased sobs, eyes even more pained from the tears held in, Sam looked anywhere but at Quinn as he tried to collect himself a moment. 'It doesn't change anything for me. I still love you.' ] Just... Just a friend? I...
What are you saying? [ he croaked, trying not to actually accept what she was saying. He shook his head, as if that was enough to get her to take back the words. But deep down he knew that wasn't enough. ] Realistic? I want to believe that you and I are realistic, that we could still work no matter what happened. We made a promise, Q. We made a promise to make it through these trials together, and I refuse to believe an alternative. You can't - [ he paused, slowly licking his lips and gathering up courage to ask a question he knew deep down he really shouldn't. ]
[ 'I still love you.' ]
You can't sit here and tell me you don't have even the smallest feelings for me. And that deep down, despite this, you definitely know that I'm still the only person you can truly trust. I'm the only one that's going to tell you the truth, every last bit of it, so long as you ask me to.
Everclear - Wonderful
Favourite Celebrity Meme - Favourite Hair Moments (2/5)
Chord Overstreet at the 2014 FOXIE Award show & After Party (August, 21)
How do you look at the girl you love and tell yourself it’s time to walk away?
The Vow
Once Upon A Full Moon || Fabrevans
[Quinn idly let her fingers run around the edges of her book, her bottom lip between her teeth as she waited for Sam to say something. She wasn’t about to be the first one to start what would most likely be a difficult, if not impossible, conversation. If she could have Quinn would avoid the entire situation altogether but there was no question that this was Sam was the type of person you could escape from. Maybe even the thought of avoiding him was cowardly, especially when he was such a fixture in her life or rather, in a life she knew nothing about. As soon as she heard Sam address Tristan, she inhaled sharply and felt a light shiver run through her. It signaled how much she was dreading this, not because of Sam himself but because of the nature of the conversation and how her relationship with Tristan might look from the outside. Her lips made that thin line they always did when Quinn was unsure and she could only nod. It was as if any sense of eloquence had left her body entirely. On the other hand, as if reading the expressions on their faces like pages in a book, Tristan started to close up his study materials, preparing to leave the library for a safer space. Quinn’s gaze shifted as soon as she saw him move.]
No. [Quinn brought her hand out to rest over Tristan’s and offered him a small smile of reassurance.] You need the quiet to study so…you stay, we’ll go. [Tristan seemed to take this as a sufficient answer and nodded but not before looking quickly between Quinn and Sam as if double checking that the situation was alright. Once satisfied, the boy stayed put and Quinn let her hand slip away from his, albeit lingering for a moment, and reached for her bags. As she stood, she gave Sam a glance and continued out of the library, expecting him to follow after him. Even Quinn could sense that she walked without that same regal nature, perhaps even a bit defeated in knowing what she was walking into. The murmurs from the other students weren’t lost on her and she picked up her pace until she was well away from the library entrance. Turning down a seemingly empty corridor, she took in a breath before spinning on her heel and actually letting her eyes meet Sam’s. It was with a voice that seemed to be veiled in a hint of ice that she spoke to him.] What do we have to talk about? Because it all seems crystal clear, if you ask me. You should have told me the truth and you didn’t.
[ He tried not to stay so fixated on their hands touching but he couldn't help himself. It hurt. It hurt so much. That simple caress was far more than he could stand and he wanted to vomit at the sight of it. He waited for Quin to get up before following her out, shooting dark glares at anyone murmuring about them as they walked on. He didn't need to hear them joke about them, not when they had no idea what was going on between them. If circumstances were different, she would instead be holding his hand and that helped Sam stay calm, knowing that despite this they were still one. She just didn't remember that. Following her out towards an empty corridor, he looked around and waited as she spoke, his jaw clenching at her harsh words. ]
I never lied to you. I never said I wasn't what I am and I told you we had many things to talk about, this was one of them. It's just - [ he groaned and pressed his fists to his forehead before dropping them to his sides and slowly raising his eyes to her. ] - I didn't want to talk about it, Quinn. I hoped to avoid that and wait for your coworkers to figure out the countercurse. Then - it wouldn't be a problem then. But that plan backfired on me, obviously. You have to understand, I -
[ He paused. How could he make her understand? In her state, she hardly cared. She couldn't care much less for him. How could he explain to her this and hope and pray that she would understand? ] I hope you'll understand, but this... This condition is.. It's not easy to talk about, and it was so hard to admit. If you could only remember, I - [ he paused again, swallowing thickly at the memories of the ways of which he'd revealed himself to others. Blaine at St. Mungo's when they were seven. Santana discovering and telling Brittany. Quinn finding out after he showed her the mirror. The article. His eyes clenched shut and he tried his absolute best to keep his tears in. While he held them in, his eyes appeared glassy when he finally opened them. ] Do you know what it's like to keep such a heavy burden? One that affects your entire life and everyone you touch's lives as well? It's not something you tell someone straight off the bat. "Hi, my name is Sam and - oh yeah, I'm a werewolf, just thought I'd throw it out there." I was attacked when I was four years old - I grew up under the belief it was best to let people see me first and then find out. In this situation, and with your parents being so disapproving of me as is... I didn't want them to spin this and use this aspect of my life to keep us apart. I wanted to carefully introduce you to the life you've forgotten, including the man you forgot you love. I -
[ Without even a thought, Sam's hands grabbed hers and he squeezed them softly before abruptly letting them go, missing the touches they would once share as though they were from a hundred lifetimes ago. ] - If we had to talk about it, I wanted it to happen in a way it should, with me explaining it and you not having to see it.. I didn't want you to fear that before I could explain it to you and now I feel like that was just a fail.
[ He stood silent for a while before looking at her with a scared and unsure expression, carefully reading hers. ]
Please say something.