Brazenly Asian in Charleston

a chronicle of a california girl's adventures in the south

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

Unfinished Business

For some unbeknownst reason, I was going through my email drafts tonight, and stumbled upon some skeletons in the Gmail closet.

I discovered an unfinished poem, a heartfelt letter to an ex that I never sent, and a draft of an assignment email to my favorite art professor that I absolutely adored.  This professor pushed me to be open, honest, and expressive in my art, and gave me an ecstatic peck on the cheek when I finally did.  He was an eccentric little old man.

Reading over this unfinished poem, I don’t even remember who it was about.  But I do remember the feelings of sadness and nostalgia.  Oh well.  To you, mystery man.

There was a time you were the moon in my sky, I would rise, I would fall At your every beck and call, Much like the ocean tide. Now the oceans lie between us, Swimming in secrets and drowning in memories, An existence that never was. A distance that cannot be traveled or counted.

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

Charleston Strong (and Charleston Proud) in the Aftermath of the Charleston Shooting

There’s no way I can go without writing about the recent tragedy in Charleston.

I’ve been calling Charleston “home” for the past year and a half.  The fact that something so terrible happened literally so close to home is unnerving.  Emanuel AME Church is located in the heart of downtown Charleston, and about 2 miles from where I work.  Several of my coworkers personally knew some of the victims.  It all seems so surreal that this actually happened.  

When I started seeing posts on Facebook and Twitter on Wednesday night, they included very little detail, so at first I thought it had been a one-off shooting.  Like someone had pulled a gun out on one person on the street.  Not to say that situation wouldn’t have been sad and tragic in itself, but just that I didn’t quite understand the magnitude of what actually happened.  Then I heard that the shooting took place in a church.  I then thought it was even more tragic that it happened in a place of sanctuary and worship, but still thought it was an attack on just one person.

Then the details came pouring in.  Nine people.  Nine lives.  A massacre of peaceful churchgoers at a Bible study.

I can’t even begin to understand what was going on in this shooter’s mind.  Reports say he had been sitting with the group for a whole hour before he started shooting.  He claimed he had been debating whether or not to actually carry out his plan of attack, because “everyone was so nice to me.”

Sure, there may have been a few raised eyebrows when a young white man walked into the African church, but they didn’t make him feel unwanted or like he didn’t belong.  They welcomed him with open arms to join them that night.  While they showed him love, he responded with hate.

That is not how Charleston is.

I’ve shared about the scarcity of diversity (specifically Asians) in this city, and have made light of the experiences I’ve had here with people who aren’t as accustomed to interacting with other ethnicities.  But in spite of my jokes, I’ve never had anyone treat me with outright racism or hatred.  On the contrary, this city has welcomed me with the same open arms as those churchgoers.  I struggled when I first moved here.  It was so different from home, and I didn’t have any friends here.  But the people here were kind, open, and made great efforts to make sure I felt comfortable and at home here.  As much as I love and yearn for California, I’ve grown to love this beautiful city and its beautiful people.

Even the way this city responded to such a hateful event was beautiful.  There were no riots, no angry mobs screaming curses, no wars between the white and black populations.  While several people on the outside have tried to twist this event to further their political agendas, not one post or message that I’ve seen from a Charlestonian has been about anything like gun control laws, race relations, or even mental illness.  It has solely been about mourning the lost, uniting through support and love, and just a little anger toward the gunman who tried to divide this city.  Many people could very easily have responded to this act of hatred with more hate.  It seems to have become the norm in this country to react to violence with even more violence.  Instead, the Holy City reacted with love upon love, grace upon grace, and came together as one in solidarity, no matter your skin color.

When the families of the slain victims were given a chance to address the killer via video connection, do you know what they said to him?

“I just wanted everybody to know, to you, I forgive you.  You took something very precious away from me. I will never talk to her ever again. I will never be able to hold her again. But I forgive you.  You hurt me. You hurt a lot of people. May God forgive you. And I forgive you.”    --  daughter of Ethel Lance

“We welcomed you Wednesday night in our Bible study with open arms.  Every fiber in my body hurts, and I will never be the same. . . . Tywanza was my hero. But as we said in Bible study, we enjoyed you, but may God have mercy on you.”      -- mother of Tywanza Sanders

Then afterwards, several people gathered outside the courthouse to sing gospel hymns together.

This man tried to stir up hate.  According to some news outlets, he did this because he wanted to start a race war.  But he failed miserably.  His actions were spewing with so much hatred, yet this city responded with so much love.  It only made us stronger, brought us closer.  We as a community united to mourn the victims and show that hate will not win.  At various memorials, prayer vigils, and other events to show support, people of all colors stood together as one, to show that we are #charlestonstrong.  That such an act of hatred will not divide us.  That we are more than just the color of our skin, and that Charleston’s love is stronger than this man’s hate.  

Just take a look at these images from this Bridge to Peace event.  Masses of people walked from either side of the Ravenel Bridge to meet in the middle to form a “Unity Chain” by linking hands.  There they observed 9 minutes of silence, to honor the nine who were killed.  The turnout was so great, that not everyone could fit on the nearly 3-mile-long bridge.  There were all sorts of cheering, singing, and even honking in support from cars driving by.

USA #oneheart #onelove #CharlestonUnityChain pic.twitter.com/xEK702d3AO

— Carly Good (@Carly_Good)

June 22, 2015

"Love never fails." "Be devoted to one another on brotherly love." #bridgetopeace #CharlestonUnityChain pic.twitter.com/7QkFqvGJHR

— Deanna Pan (@DDpan)

June 22, 2015

The amount of people that showed up to link hands across the Ravenel is insane. #charleston #standwithcharleston pic.twitter.com/QrLnIok0iE

— Chad Engle (@chadengle)

June 22, 2015

#Charleston's hands and hearts are linked tonight in #UnityChainCharleston. #CharlestonStrong #IamAME #BridgetoPeace pic.twitter.com/2glt2FOMoJ

— The Post and Courier (@postandcourier)

June 22, 2015

See more pictures of this beautiful event here and here.

I have not called Charleston home for very long, but I am so, so very proud to be a part of this city.  We are #charlestonstrong.

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

Dog-Friendly Savannah Visit

A while back, DK suggested that we go on a (much needed) short vacation; a weekend road trip “where Roscoe can come too!”  This is a sure sign that he is slowly but surely warming up to my pup. ;) 

Friday We hit the road early Friday afternoon, armed with a road trip Spotify playlist and boba from our favorite Tapio.  It was about a two hour drive from Charleston to Savannah, and we agreed not to talk about work, upcoming events on busy schedules, or anything else that might cause any stress.

We got our cute little dog-friendly AirBnb, unpacked, and rested a bit before heading into downtown Savannah.  Our first stop was to City Market, four blocks of restaurants, shops, art galleries, and bars surrounding a pedestrian-only courtyard with live music and entertainment.

After some yelping, we decided to get a small bit to eat at Tequila’s Town.  We got the really delicious steak torta, and the fresh-made guacamole.  If you dine in the restaurant, you can actually watch them make the guacamole right by your table side.  We got our food to-go, and sat in one of their many city squares to enjoy the fountains and trees and people-watching. 

Savannah was built on a bluff overlooking the river, so the infamous River Street is “below” the rest of the main city.  You have to walk down some extremely steep, sketchy-looking steps to get to River Street.  But it’s a beautiful view right on the water, lots of bars and restaurants, and there was a street fair/farmers market of some sort going on when we were there. 

We stopped by Jen’s and Friends, famous for their 300+ flavors of martinis, and got our Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and Rice Krispies Treat martinis to-go.  Yeah, that’s right.  TO GO.

One interesting thing about Savannah is their open container law (at least in the historic district).  It’s completely normal to see crowds of people walking around holding plastic cups full of alcoholic concoctions.  

We had late dinner reservations at the historic Olde Pink House.  It would have been nice to sit inside to really feel the historic essence of the building, but since we had the pup, we sat outside by the renovated section with the bar.  Still, food was pretty good and we enjoyed it.

Saturday After a quick brunch, we did a bike tour through historic Savannah.  I didn’t think our guide was the best, and DK didn’t like that he made us get off and park our bikes so much, but we expected it to be a little stop-and-go, being a tour and all, and it was still a lot of fun to cruise through the streets and feel the wind in your hair.  Although, I’m not much of a biker, and I think I needed a kids bike or something...I felt too short for mine.

We biked through Johnson Square, Forsyth Park, Ellis Square, Olde Pink House, Mercer Williams House (where an infamous murder took place!), Owens Thomas House (most rooms and furniture intact from 1800s), and just around cute residential areas.

Even Roscoe enjoyed his visit to Savannah, as I couldn't resist strolling through a doggie bakery and picking up some treats:

After a delicious steak dinner, we found a bar that was playing the Pacquiao-Mayweather fight, because DK absolutely had to see it! The program started at 9, but by 11:30, the actual fight still hadn't started and I was at the point of complete exhaustion. I was dropping the heaviest yawns known to mankind and falling asleep all over the place like I suffer from narcolepsy.

After 2.5 hours at this bar, I couldn't take anymore. I'm ashamed to say that I'm probably the only person who missed "The Fight of Century", because she couldn't handle staying up and instead spend the entirety of the fight asleep in the backseat of a car in the parking lot. In my defense, the think the peach sangria I had earlier in the day had something to do with it.

Sunday

We packed up and had pho as our last meal. I'm very much a planner. I try to research things to do and places to eat and schedule everything before we go on a trip. DK is more about playing it by ear and perusing Yelp once we get to the destination. The pho was his last minute find, and it was a good one. Thumbs up, good job! He also bonded with my fur-child on the drive back to Charleston. Aww, look at that snuggley love!

Overall, Savannah is fairly similar to Charleston in that it is full of similar history. Our tour guide gave the best comparison though: Charleston is more refined and classy, like the Prince William of the royal family. Savannah is the more rowdy and fun-loving, will-get-naked-in-a-Vegas-hotel-room partier younger brother, Prince Harry. Farewell, Prince Harry. It was a blast.

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

Ah, Spring...Time for Sun, Flirty Outfits, and Ah...Ah...Ah-Choo!

I seriously think Charleston is trying to get rid of me.

First they sent a plague of bloodthirsty bugs to drive me mad with itchy rage.

Now...they’re messing with my head.  Literally.

Almost all last month, my head felt like there was a balloon continually expanding inside, growing bigger and adding pressure as it pushed against either eardrum.  I wanted it to just POP already to get relief from the surmounting pressure, but it just kept expanding and pushing against the insides of my head.

For several weeks (including my birthday week!!!), I had been coughing up thick, bright green mucous, and blowing it out my nose by the bucket load.  It’s amazing how much mucous my tiny little body can produce.  Where does it all stay?  It’s incredibly attractive, I know.  Gentlemen, please, form an orderly queue.

I’ve been to the doctor maybe 4 times in the last 5 months due to these sinus issues.  Post-nasal drip, ear infection, eustachian tube dysfunction….you name it, I’ve had it.  I’m pretty sure the nurses think I’m faking illness to flirt with the young attractive doctor (only partially true.  Kidding!)

I’ve never had any allergies or sinus problems when I was in California.  I still don’t really know what causes my sinuses to go haywire.  A coworker buddy of mine who’s been battling sinus-related issues since forever has a theory that Charleston is particularly bad for sinuses--something about the barometric pressure (the weight of the air pressing against the surface of the earth) in Charleston being higher than normal because it’s below sea-level.  Doing the Google tells me that there are several articles linking joint pain and migraines to high barometric pressure.

Or, it could be allergies due to ALL THE POLLEN here.  Spring in Charleston is just a yellow haze.  If you walk outside to our office parking lot, you’ll step into a sea of cars dusted with layers of pollen blankets.

(Yea, like that)

I think even my dog has pollen allergies. He sneezes all the time. It’s kind of cute. But then again, I think everything he does is cute. Here is a random photo of my dog doing something cute:

Now back to the point. I honestly don’t think my symptoms are due to pollen allergies. Judging by the fact that I also started getting migraines here, I’m leaning more toward the barometric pressure theory. Here’s to hoping that my body adjusts to the air in Chucktown so I can better enjoy warm summer weather!

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

Being Home for the Holidays Means...

Eating.  A lot of eating.  Being back in California means access to food I can't get in Charleston.  Seriously all I've been doing so far is gorging myself.  I've been keeping a running list of what I've eaten so far:

1) Legit pho (with tendon!!) 2) Indian lunch buffet 3) Korean BBQ (with KIMCHI!!!) 4) in N Out 5) Lots of home cooked Korean food 6) Lengua & cabeza tacos!!!  (that's tongue & head meat) 7) Hot pot & shabu shabu 8) Soondubu (spicy soft tofu soup) and galbi (Korean short ribs) 9) Good Chinese food 10) Ddukbokki (spicy rice cake)

My dad's birthday is on the 20th.  It's a Korean tradition to eat miyuk gook, seaweed soup, on your birthday, so my grandmother made it for my dad the morning of his birthday.

Definitely didn't get to photo-document everything (tear), but looking at these pictures right now is making me drool.  Oh, I also had boba milk tea pretty much every day.

Trying to work from home while being HOME home is tough.  Also I didn't have a car, and didn't get to exercise much.  So eating lots and moving very little made me feel like this:

But that was really okay, because seriously, it was quite a mission for me to make it out of the house (sorry friends).  It's not that I don't love you and don't want to see you.  It's really more because...

But there were some days I made it out to see the sunlight.  Or moonlight.  Apparently I got engaged to a balloon:

And I also had a pretty wild NYE with the best girlfriends:

I have to admit, leaving California was harder this time around since I was here for a much longer amount of time.  But at the same time, it felt a little less like home this time for several reasons.  My parents moved to different house after I moved to Charleston, so I didn't come "home" to the same house I was used to.  Not having a car made trying to go anywhere, whether it was to go to the store or meet friends, extremely difficult.  Being out of my routine.  And as much as I love my family, I really missed being able to have "me" time alone (or snuggling with Roscoe).  And I missed Roscoe!!

Our reunion was very sweet.  :)

The beginning of January marks our first full year spent in Charleston.  There will be a more thought-out post on that once I stop being lazy and actually blog more consistently.  =P  I also may get into my goals for the new year, so you all can keep me accountable (aka keep me in check).  Til next time!

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

The First Thanksgiving

No, I'm not talking about the actual first Thanksgiving with the Pilgrims and Native Americans.  I'm talking about my first Thanksgiving away from home, seemingly a million miles away in Charleston, South Carolina. 

My family typically does the traditional Thanksgiving feast every year.  It's quite a production, and after so many years of doing it, we've got a whole system of assignments down.  My aunt is always in charge of the turkey, stuffing, and the shrimp/salsa cocktail that sounds completely out of place but is surprisingly delicious and acts like a palate cleanser.  My mom is in charge of the ham and candied yams.  The kids do the other various side dishes (the ones who can cook anyway.  AKA not me).

Thanksgiving is a rare occasion where my whole family gets together, including all 8 of us cousins (and their 2 kids!).  This year I'm missing out, and I wasn't sure where I'd be spending my Thanksgiving.  I had a thought, like, what if I end up spending my Thanksgiving eating ramen and drinking wine by myself (and Roscoe), while watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix?

Thankfully, since DY's parents were visiting from California and had brought delicious Korean food with them, they invited the remaining west coast transplants over for dinner.

And boy, was it good.

Forget turkey.  Samgyupsal and chadolbaeki and TONS of garlic....YES PLEASE.  You can't find this ANYWHERE in Charleston, and I sorely miss it.  I had severe cravings for ddukboki earlier this week, and you know what's the first thing that gets passed into my hands after I walk in the door?  Well, right after little K comes barreling into my stomach and Nomi tugs at my hands telling me wants to show me something, a steaming hot plate of delicious freshly made ddukboki gets pushed into my eager hands. 

Oh yes.  The magic in the making.  Super thankful for this family that always invites us over for dinner, particularly on this day so we aren't left as Thanksgiving orphans.

I'm also thankful for their crazy yet adorable kids, who love fire a little too much and go bouncing off the walls after one too many s'mores.

"Throw me in the fire!  Throw me in the fire!"

Here's to a night well spent over great food, even greater company, talking, singing, and roasting giant marshmallows over a warm fire.  I will definitely be smelling like garlic for days (sorry friends who will be near me).  Thankful for my family away from home <3

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

6 Things You Shouldn't Say to an Asian

There are lots of things you shouldn't say to people in general.  "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."  What I've noticed though is that most people aren't trying to be intentionally mean and racist, but say things out of ignorance and stereotype. 

I don't get too much of it when I'm going around by myself, but 2 of my girl friends from California were visiting recently, and I guess when Asian girls travel in packs of 3 in Charleston, people think they must be foreign exchange students or something.

Note: not all of these are things I've heard in Charleston, but things I've gotten over the course of my life.

"Where are you from?" The girls and I were closing out our tabs at Stars Rooftop Bar, when this girl next to me blurts out, "Where are you from?"

....What?  That's the first thing she says.  No "hi" or "hello" or "hey I like your necklace...so where are you from?"  Just "where are you from?"

"...California." "Oh...because I lived in Korea for 2 years and..."

Just because I do happen to be Korean does not make this okay.  Not all people of Korean ethnicity were born in or lived in Korea.  Not all people of Chinese ethnicity were born in or lived in China.  Not all....you get the picture.  Why do you assume that I'm not "from here"?  It's possible that I've lived in Charleston, or at least South Carolina, for my whole life.  You don't know that and can't assume that I'm "from somewhere else."

I'm not going to go up to some random guy who looks Italian and say "HEY WHERE ARE YOU FROM?  OH, because I studied abroad in Italy for a while and..."  That sounds ridiculous, right?

It gets worse.  At some point in our conversation I told this girl that yes, I am Korean, but I was born in New York, and lived in California almost all my life.  She then asks,

"So what part of Korea are you from?"

Seriously?  I'm not "from" any part of Korea.  It's like me asking that same imaginary Italian-American dude "what part of Italy" he's from after he tells me he was born and raised in the states.  My parents lived in different parts of Korea, yes, but not having been born in or lived anywhere in Korea, I don't consider myself "from" there.

Long story rant short, don't assume all non-white people are not "from here."  We're not all "exotic."

"Have you found a good Szechuan place yet?" I barely even know what Szechuan is.  To the best of my knowledge, Szechuan is a style of Chinese food from a specific region in China.  Correct me if I'm wrong.  But you can't just lump all "Asian food" as being the same thing (although a lot of restaurants in Charleston seem to serve any and every kind of Asian cuisine under one roof).  Chinese food is different from Thai food, which is different from Japanese food, which is different from Korean or Cambodian or Vietnamese food.  There may be some similarities, especially between countries in closer proximity to each other, but they are different countries, different peoples, different foods.  Just like Italian food is different from French food, which is different from Greek food and so on.  It's not just "European food."  Please don't assume that I'm an expert in Thai cuisine just because I'm Asian.

"Are you and (other Asian) related/married?”

  "NI HAOOOOOO!!!!!!" S, J, and I were walking past this club, ignoring jeers from the guys lined up outside, when one loudly obnoxious voice cuts through all other noise: "NI HAO!!!!"

Cue the record scratch.  We all stopped and turned around.  Someone pointed out the perpetrator, and he was given dirty looks and the finger. 

Not all Asians speak the same language.  We don't speak "Asian," and we don't somehow magically understand all other Asian languages.  So don't scream the one word you know in some Asian language at a group of Asian girls walking by.  It's terribly offensive and probably will piss them off.

On that note, don't ever ever ever getting back together use this line:

"I just want to tell you...that I have an Asian fetish." Sadly, some guy has actually said this to my face.  This is how the conversation went:

Guy: Are you Chinese?!?! Me: No. Guy: What are you? Me: I'm Korean. Guy: I know how to say "I love you" in Chinese and Filipino! Me: Okay... Guy: How do you say "I love you" in Korean? Me: ..... Guy: I just want you to know...I have an Asian fetish. Me: ....I have to pee.

What makes that above situation ten times worse is that the guy who said all this was Indian…he’s considered Asian himself.  He should have known better!

My friend Chin wrote a great article on "Why Yellow Fever Is Different Than 'Having a Type.'"  It's one thing to like Asian girls or think they're pretty.  It's another thing to have this obsessive desire to only date Asian girls, not based on anything about their personality or any trait that makes a girl uniquely her, but solely based on the fact that she's Asian.  And that's it.  Even worse if the reason you "like" Asian girls is because you hold these stereotypes about how we’re more docile or subservient or respectful or XYZ than other girls.   It’s not flattering for you to say you have yellow fever or an Asian fetish.

"Wow, your English is really good!"  Or "You don't have an accent at all!"

“Wow, neither do you!”  This will be my future response to any statement like that.

And with that, I leave you with...

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

7 Things I Still Have Trouble Getting Used To in Charleston

Whenever someone asks me how I like Charleston, or how it compares to home, my first answer is always "It's...different."  It's not that I love it or hate it, it's just enormously different from the life I've become used to.  Everything I considered my norms, are no longer normal.  Things exist here that don't back home, and things that exist back home don't exist here.  The people, the weather, the way of life here is different.

I'm slowly getting used to most things the longer I live here, but there are at least 7 things I have a hard time dealing with:

1) The Bugs

You've already heard me whine and gripe about this endlessly on Facebook, Twitter, in person, over the phone, through text....and the list goes on.  But I assure you, no matter how endlessly I seem to complain about the bugs, it's nowhere near the endless number of bug bites that festively pepper my body at all times.  As I type this blog post, I count 23 spots on my left leg, 10 spots on my right leg, and 8 spots on my right arm, in varying degrees of freshness, from "just bitten and on fire" to "dulled to a dark spot that no longer itches."

Not only do they seem to desire my blood more than Edward yearns for Bella's blood (ha!), I also have extremely severe allergic reactions to them.  I'm often left with egg-like lumps and swollen body parts and burning that gets so intense I can't sleep.

I once got bitten in the space between my shirt and the top of my jeans, like a bug bite tramp stamp.  There was no way I could scratch that cluster without looking like I was scratching my butt.

2) No Toilet Seat Covers None of the public restrooms here have toilet seat covers.  It's just not a thing here.  I'm tired of having to line the seat with toilet paper every time.  I've also gotten better at squatting.  Feel the burn, thighs!

3) USC = University of South Carolina.  Not University of Southern California To-may-to, to-mah-to?  Not quite.  When I first moved here, I was so confused.  I didn't understand why half the population of Charleston were such diehard Trojan fans.  At some point I realized they were actually diehard Gamecock fans.  Well, that makes a lot more sense, doesn't it?  To be fair, almost all conversations about USC revolved around football, and we all know I'm not the least bit fluent in sports-speak.

Although apparently, the Supreme Court has ruled that Southern California is the "real" SC, so... (Just kidding, don't hurt me) 4) Getting stuck behind a horse-drawn carriage as you're driving around downtown

What?  Yes.  This may be a uniquely #charlestonworldproblems

You're driving fast, trying to get to your destination, when OH MY GOSH there is a HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGE TOUR directly in front of you and there is NO WAY around that thing.  You have no choice but to trail behind it at 0.4 miles per hour, and OH GAWD I hope it doesn't poop!

5) Fireball Shots.  Or any shots for that matter

Cinnamon whiskey.  At first, I thought Fireball was easier to get down compared to other shots since the cinnamon masks the alcohol taste.  But now, even thinking about the taste of Fireball makes me want to puke.  I have to stop writing about this now.

6) It's not cold when it rains.  It's hot and humid To me, rainy weather = bundling up in peacoats and scarves, warm long pants and boots because it's cold.  Not so in Charleston.  Rain means preparing yourself to be wet, sticky, and uncomfortable, weighed down not only by the rainwater, but also by the heavy humidity in the air.  I never know how to dress when it rains.  Obviously, since it's so humid, I want to wear shorts or a thin dress.  But...then I'd get soaking wet, so I feel like I should be wearing clothes that cover more of my skin.  And then I want to wear boots so my feet don't get drenched...but my feet would suffocate in the heat.  Also, is it weird to wear rainboots with the aforementioned shorts or dress?  Sigh.  WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!  THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.

Also, the streets flood when it rains too much.  I'm not talking a couple inches of water that ruin your shoes.  I'm talking water that comes up so high it completely covers your tires.  If you don't drive a giant truck, then congratulations, your teeny sedan is now a floating boat (I drive a teeny sedan). 

If you Google "Charleston flooded streets," you will see images of people kayaking down the streets.  I kid you not.  Here's proof:

7) Gentlemen

It seems like every guy here has raised to be gentlemen, addressing ladies as "ma'am," opening doors, and being exceptionally good at 'please' and 'thank you's.  Once, I was walking down the street with a coworker, and as I was talking, he shifted me over from the curb to the inside of the sidewalk.  I mean, I've had to teach my exes and guy friends "gentleman etiquette" like this; making sure that ladies walk on the inside of the sidewalk (so they're not as close to the cars in traffic, just in case), and waiting until the girl gets inside her door when you drop her off instead of just driving off.

This one time I was at the art supply store and I was holding a giant drawing board and heavy sheets of drawing paper while waiting in line.  The man in front of me noticed that I've been struggling with my load, and as he gets to the front of the line, he turns to me and motions, "go ahead."

"Are you sure?" "Yes, absolutely." "Wow, thank you."

Actions like this throw me off.  Growing up in Southern California has given me a very "stranger danger" mentality.  But everyone here is friendly and open to chatting it up with strangers, in a non-creepy, non-hitting-on way. 

So when a guy randomly strikes up a conversation with me while waiting in line at the grocery store, it seriously takes every ounce of resistance in me not to give him the "don't talk to me, creep" reaction that consists of a fake half smile, then turning away with an ever-so-slight roll of the eyes. Instead, I've got to refrain from giving that instinctual reaction and very pleasantly return conversation with a genuine smile.  I'm hoping this isn't because I'm a naturally unfriendly person, but just that the "stranger danger" mentality has been so ingrained in me.  I mean....you think I'm nice, right?  You like me, don't you?  You want to be my friend....right?  D:   #stage5clinger #maybethisiswhyimsingle

I'm sure I could list other things, or will think of others later, but I hope you guys continue to enjoy reading about my Charleston adventures!

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

5 Misconceptions About the South (Specifically Charleston)

It's been just over six month since I made the big move from California to Charleston, South Carolina.  When I first told my friends I was moving, I was hit with a wide range of reactions, and about half a million questions.  Though I wasn't a Charleston expert then (and I still am far from it), I had visited enough times to get a general feel of the place.  There were some well-meaning yet far-fetched questions thrown at me in the beginning, and I feel like a lot of people still have some misconceptions about where I live, so now, six months in, here I am to clear up some of those questions in your head.

1. South Carolina?  Where is that, the Midwest?

No, my friends, South Carolina is located on the southern half of the East Coast, just above Florida and Georgia.  And Charleston is located right by the water.  I live less than a ten minute drive from the beach, and it is AWESOME.

2. Is that in the middle of nowhere?  Do they even have normal stores and stuff?

Yes, they have "normal stores" and stuff.  It's not in the middle of nowhere.  I think people were thinking that I was moving somewhere that I'd have to ride my filly to the nearest blacksmith, and let my horse drink from the trough outside the local saloon while I flirt with an old cowboy for a free drink.  You know, somewhere that looks a little more like this:

Charleston is on the smaller side, but it is, you know....civilized.  We may be missing a Nordstroms and a Sephora ("OMG REALLY?!  HOW do you live without a SEPHORA!?!?!!"), but it's very much an urban city with corporate stores like Forever 21 and American Apparel.  We *even* have high-end stores like Louis Vuitton and Kate Spade.  I know, so fancy.  And yes Janet, we DO have a Trader Joe's.  And a Whole Foods.  And a Target.

3. Don't turn into a hillbilly!!!!

Like mentioned before, Charleston is very urban and civilized!  I don't live in some backwoods where people marry their own cousins.  The city starting to be known as the "Silicon Harbor," for the growing number of tech/software start-ups that are populating the area.  Charleston is not made up of cowboys and farmers.  I'd say the population is split between old money rich folk who own yachts and can trace their heritage and money back to plantation days (think Allie [Rachel McAdams' character]'s family in "The Notebook"), and hipster yuppies (huppies?  yipsters?) who have moved here from somewhere else to work in tech.

Charleston has some of the best rated restaurants in the country.  It's a good place to come and just eat.  It's also been rated best travel/getaway destination by several magazines, blogs, and other outlets.  Charleston has even been rated to have the best looking PEOPLE.  Do I need to give you any more reason to come visit me?  Just ignore all my Facebook statuses about giant cockroaches, and you'll be fine.

4. Are they all racist over there?

Although I have heard that there still is a current of underlying racism, especially as you move away of the urban center of Charleston, I personally have not come across any blatant racism in my time here.  Everyone I’ve met has been open and accepting and extremely friendly.

Most of the people I rub elbows with are around the same age: mid-20s to upper-30s, most of them transplants from other places (Atlanta, Columbia, Kentucky, Chicago, etc) who moved to Charleston for work, for the culture, for the vibrant lifestyle, for the beauty, etc.  They’re open-minded (and more-so liberal) individuals, not ultra-conservative neo-Nazis. 

Sure, there have been some people who have said some well-meaning but stereotypical comments, but like I said.  Well-intentioned.  No malice.

5. Do all those white guys have yellow fever?  You get hit on a LOT, don’t you?

No.  Or if they do, they’ve been hiding it really well.  Also, I don’t understand how it makes sense for people to ask me if white men here are both racist (see previous question) but also infatuated with Asian women.  I guess it could work…somehow. 

Guys here leave me alone for the most part.  I guess it also helps that I’m usually in a group, often skewed male.  Or maybe it’s because guys aren’t sure if I can even speak English.  HA, KIDDING!

I Hope That Clears Things Up…

Charleston is quite charming.  I still very much get homesick, and miss California like craaaaazy, but it’s starting to grow on me.  It almost feels like a smaller, more quaint version of San Francisco.  Minus the crazy homeless people and tech buses. 

You guys got any other questions I can answer about the South?  :)

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

#SandEtakeNYC - From CHS to NYC

This was the hashtag I was instagramming with (can that be turned into a verb?) all weekend.  S & E take NYC!!  A couple months ago I told my good friend S that I needed to get out of Charleston.  That I was in dire need of a vacation.  I didn't really expect a trip to actually come out of this, but somehow we wound up in New York.  AND IT WAS A BLAST!

One of the first things we did was explore and get lost in Central Park's green rolling hills.  I even found a throne.  All hail Queen Esther!  :D

We were worried at first that we weren't going to be able to read the subway maps and get lost in some dark shady alley of New York.  We did take the wrong train once.  We were trying to get back to the AirBnB we were staying and call it a night, but we ended up heading toward Times Square...so we thought, what the heck!  Let's walk around Times Square!  We ended up delirium-shopping at an H&M that closes at 1am.  1am!  Here in Charleston, they're about to pass a law that forces bars to close at midnight instead of 2am!

It was great to meet up with old friends.  Everyone was so hospitable and willing to take us to great places.  Thanks!

Thanks Jack!  Who took us to this cool but kinda creepy speakeasy bar:

And these cuties:

We also went to the Met.  I stopped taking photos of paintings, because really, who enjoys going through a Facebook photo album with 254 pictures of paintings?  No one, that's who.  That being said, it was an amazing experience to see works from Monet, Matisse, Cezanne, Van Gogh, Picasso and the like up close.

The view from the rooftop garden was beautiful, even though the weather was a bit dreary.  But that's okay, we took selfies instead.  ;D

We also hit up Brooklyn.  I really liked Brooklyn: it seems to be cleaner and quieter than downtown, but the buildings and neighborhoods were super cute.  I could almost imagine myself living there.  Almost.  Let's be honest, a quiet suburban girl like me wouldn't survive in New York.  The city would eat me alive, hack me back up, chew me out some more, and vomit me up.  But it's a nice place to visit. :)

Sophia and I really enjoyed people-watching.  New York definitely has such a unique and diverse mix of people.  Like nothing we would ever see in sterile Irvine or Charleston.  People from varying walks of life, different cultures, various histories, struggles, life stories, etc.  Love love loved it.

And MOST IMPORTANTLY: We ate a TON.  a TONNNNN!!

A WHOLE lobster (and salmon sashimi) from The Lobster Place in the Chelsea Market.  YUM. 

Russ & Daughters.  They've been in business since 1914!  AMAZING salmon!  So good we went twice!

I get REALLY excited over brunch.  The south must be rubbing off on me.

It was also nice to get a taste of some familiar drinks that I can't get in Charleston.  Like New Orleans Iced Coffee from Blue Bottle!!

And the boba.  OH MY GOSH THE BOBA!  THE SWEETNESS OF THAT VELVETY MILK TEA AND THOSE LUSCIOUS JUICY BOBA PEARLS!  I missed this so much.

I told everyone I was going to drink boba every day that I was in New York.  I had it thrice.  I think did good.

I loved traveling with S, mostly because we were on the same pace in terms of energy level.  We had both already done most of the typical touristy things, so we did more low-key and local things this time around.  Neither of us set a strict itinerary (ie. 9am, breakfast at ____, 11am head to Central Park, 12:30 lunch at ____, etc).  Most of the time we didn't know what we were going to do the next day.  The night before, as we're resting our poor, overwalked feet on the couch while watching Nacho Libre on Netflix for the second night in a row, one of us would turn to the other and be like "hey, so where should we go tomorrow?"  It was lovely.

So, here's to my NYC partner in crime.  I absolutely loved seeing you.  Thank you for coming all the way from California!  And here's to hoping that there will be MANY more travels together in our (VERY) near future!

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

A Day at the Farmer's Market

Today I went to a nearby farmer's market after work.  It was amazing!  I wish I had taken better pictures, but I was struggling to even walk through the market while wrangling my miniature wildebeast.  I really only intended to walk through and maybe buy a King of Pops...pop.  BUT THEN everything looked and smelled so good!  I ended up buying way more than I planned!

First purchase:

COOKIES.  I'm not really sure why I bought cookies.  Maybe because one of them was called the "PMS Cookie" (chocolate chips, peanut butter, and salted pretzels).

Pretty Dogs Get Free Things....

There's that whole idea about pretty girls always getting free things--drinks, dinners, cars (wait, what?), etc.  Apparently, that theory works the same with cute dogs.  This guy selling farm fresh meat & eggs stopped me and asked me about Roscoe (the aforementioned wildebeast I was wrangling), went on and on about the benefits of feeding him raw dog food, then told me he was going to give me free sample of it.  By "free sample" I was imagining something the size of a handful.  Or maybe two handfuls.  But then he pulls out this monstrosity:

I could seriously club someone over the head with this thing.  Lucky Roscoe I guess.  If this doesn't give him mad diarrhea.

Peaches and...Popcorn

I had no intention of buying any fresh fruits or veggies, but I saw these peaches as I walked by....and they looked sooo sweet and juicy and yummy.  I caved.

I told myself I would at LEAST resist the freshly popped kettle corn...but yes I caved too.

So then I finally bought a banana cream pie pop and sat on the bench in defeat, wondering how all this stuff came into my possession.

It was delicious. 

The Aftermath

Then I had to come home and face the consequences. 

The consequences of having a peach and a cookie after dinner.

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

This Weekend in Pictures

beach beach beach!!

The beaches are beautiful here.  I've already been to the beach more times in my 4 months in Charleston than probably a year in LA.  Consequently, I'm finding that I don't own enough swimsuits to be frequenting the beach this often.  Which means only one thing....

jeni's ice cream + black tap coffee affogatos!!

Coffee, affogatos, ice cream, and southern sweet tea are all delicious, but I've been seriously craving boba milk tea.  So I'm thankful that Amazon sells this:

and lastly, currently obsessing over...

sam smith <3

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

the {good} the {bad} & the {ugly}

It's been a while since my last post.  I'd blame work and traveling and being altogether much too busy with a vibrant social life, but honestly I've just been lazy, and let's face it--I have no social life.  (Cue pity party music)

Kidding.  Sort of.  But let me try to quickly summarize the most recent goings-ons of my new southern life.

the {good} I'm sure you've all been inundated by endless pictures on Facebook and Instagram, but yes....I adopted a puppy!  He's a 10 month male adopted from a rescue, so we're not sure of his breed, but probably a Dachsund mix (he's long-bodied). 

His ears are crooked and too big for his head, and he looks like BatDog when they flop up, but he's sweet.  The first few weeks of potty training and accidents were pretty hectic, but I'm glad to have him around.  It makes life less lonely.

This is Roscoe.  Yes, kind of like Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles.  The guys were telling me I should name him something representative of living in Charleston/the south, like Charlie or Chuck (Charleston/Chucktown).  But one, there's already a couple dogs named Charlie in the office, and two, I find it weird to give a dog a name of people I actually know.  My reasoning is that although chicken & waffles is a "southern" thing, Roscoe's is an LA thing, which is home, and I've had many good memories with good friends eating good food at Roscoe's.  Still lame?  Maybe.  But come on guys, it's me.

the {bad} Okay, so here's where I get real emo.  Skip ahead if you don't want to deal with this.  JUST KIDDING YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SIT THROUGH MY TEARS.  Kidding again.

Being the socially awkward, introverted, often anti-social being that I am, it's still a challenge for me to meet people and make friends.  Also, I am terrible at small talk, or making conversation in general.  I kind of went through a lonely, anti-social phase (lots of Netflix and ice cream on the couch with Roscoe), then recently forced myself to get out there and be more social.  (Sidenote: being more "social" has exponentially increased my alcohol tolerance level.  Still does nothing for the Asian glow though, unfortunately). 

Having moved here with a group of people I know is both a blessing and a curse at the same time.  A blessing because I can always fall back on them, and be comfortable enough to hang out with them anytime.  A curse because I get so comfortable with them that I'm not forced to push myself out of that comfort zone. 

But I've been trying to push myself, and make myself do things even when I'm feeling anti-social.  So far it's been good, and I've been having fun.  So yay.  Not so bad.  :)

the {ugly} I will spare your eyes from any disgusting pictures.  As beautiful and warm as Charleston can be, there are too many bugs that bite you.  Mosquitoes, no-see-ems (kinda like gnats), bulby mosquito-like bugs that I've never seen before, etc.  And I've discovered (the hard way), that when I get bitten, it's not just a "it's itchy and annoying" kind of feeling.  I get these extreme allergic reactions to the bites that make the skin swell and puff up.  I had Michelin Man hands, an ankle that looked sprained, and egg-sized lump on my leg, etc.  And they're painful. 

We went to the beach one Saturday, and no exaggeration, I left with 5-7 bites on each limb.  They didn't just itch.  My entire body was throbbing and felt like it was on fire.  I was just sitting in the passenger seat, holding out my limbs, having trouble breathing and trying to stifle moans of pain. 

When I show people my swollen body parts, they either give me a horrified look like I'm diseased, or a sad pitying look and tell me, "And it's not even summer yet."  Guys, I might just stay indoors the whole summer.  Or walk around in a bubble suit.

the {end} Overall though, I'm still feeling the ups and downs of this major transition.  No one said it would be easy, but so far I've mostly been having fun.

Oh, and because everyone always asks me some variation of this question: No, I have not met any cute boys that spark my interest.  :)

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

Happy Anti-Valentines/Black Heart Day

I know Valentine's Day was 5 days ago, but I've been traveling and unable to blog.  My travel escapades and flight curses are for another time.

We were due to fly out the afternoon of Valentine's Day.  We had no choice, although I did apologize to the married/dating folk in our group.  Csur was planning to have a singles gathering for dinner on Valentine's Day and planning to make Jja-jang-myun.  He did a test run the night before for me, DK and DY (we were there mainly because the Ravenel bridge was closed again and it would have taken 2 hours to get home the other way).

But what is Jja-jang-myun and why did he want to make it for Valentine's Day?

Jja-jang-myun is a noodle dish with black bean sauce, meat, and veggies.  Somehow it became a tradition in Korea for single people to eat jja-jang-myun on Valentine's Day...because it's as black as their bitter, single, lonely hearts.

Although I'd say our hearts are far from bitter and lonely, it's a fun way to "celebrate" by getting together with a bunch of your single friends and eating good food.

I'd say the chef did a great job:

Yes, it did taste as great as it looks!

And now, as I type this over airplane wifi, sitting on this 4 hour flight after having been severely reprimanded by an airline attendant for being "late" (we got there more than an hour earlier but had to wait godforsaken long lines), and almost missing our flight but being able to convince a TSA agent to let us cut the security line, but still being delayed 30 minutes due to plane maintenance issues....I bid you adieu!

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

The Desperate Making of Kimchi

If you know me at all, you know I don’t cook. 

It’s not even that I’m a terrible cook.  I just.  don’t cook.  So you wouldn’t even know that I’m a terrible cook.

Being in the South with very limited Asian food options has left me…extremely desperate.  It’s also left me with a string of unanswered questions:

"THIRTEEN DOLLARS FOR A PAD THAI?!?!"

"This isn’t pho….where’s all that MSG taste?"

"Why does every Thai restaurant serve sushi?"

I went from San Francisco/Los Angeles:

To Charleston:

(Thanks Brocktologist for the comic.  And the lolz)

Okay, Asian food here isn’t that bad.  Certainly much better than “Diarrhea Dragon” would be.  But it’s definitely missing some things.  What I wouldn’t do for a bowl of soondubu right now.  That fluffy, soft steamy tofu.  The almost-scalding spicy soupy goodness, red and delicious and full of red pepper flakes that will definitely end up all over your teeth.

Or Korean BBQ.  Grilled right in front of your face with the smoke infusing through all your clothes.  And hair.  Get the galbi or chadolbaegi and wrap it up with rice paper and lettuce and ssamjang…and GARLIC.  LOTS and LOTS of GARLIC!  So much that garlic seeps through your pores the next day!

Pho broth you can smell from a mile outside the restaurant.  So greasy you can see oil bubbles floating in your bowl.  The red of the rare steak.  The clear and chewy tendon meat.  YUMMM.  OMG I NEED PHO AO SEN RIGHT NOW!!!!!

Ahem.  I may have gotten a little sidetracked (and extremely hungry).  The point of this blog post was that I was desperate for spice and the taste of home that I….actually MADE kimchi myself.

WHAAAAaaaAATtT?!?!?!??!?!

Yeah, I’m just as surprised as you, kid.

I used this "Easy Kimchi" recipe from Maangchi.  Her recipe calls for TEN POUNDS of cabbage, and I was like:

I used just one cabbage.  Which was approximately 2~3 lbs (Ask me how I figured out the weight!  That’s a different story for possibly a different blog post…)  So when she used 1 cup of something, I had to do a lot of fractions and math in my head.

"10 lbs = 1 cup…so ~3 lbs =…somewhere between 1/4 and 1/3 cup?"

Step One: The “dangguh”-ing process.

Step 2: Ferment, my lovelies, ferment!

Step 3: EAT!

The result?  Not terrible.  Not too bad if I do say so myself.

Who knows, Charleston may make a decent Korean housewife out of me.

HAHAHAHAHA yeah right, this is ME we’re talking about here!

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

Disco, Drinks and Drag Queens

On Friday, I decided last minute to go to a disco-themed art-launch party at the Gibbes museum.  Disco attire was "encouraged, but not required."  I wish I had crazier clothing to wear, but I only packed "sensible" clothes from California, and my overall style is pretty tame anyway.

Disco balls.  Crazy lights.  People in sequins, jumpsuits, wigs, and sunglasses.  Endless booze and dancing.  And also this:

People kept saying there was a "secret show" planned in the other room, and this was it!  At first I didn't realize they were drag queens.  I thought they were just really butch looking women. 

"You knew that they were drag queens, right?" Me:

"Yeah, they're just REALLY GOOD!"

I wish I had taken more pictures, but I was taking in the night and the experiences and just trying to enjoy the night.

.....Who am I kidding, I was camped out by the food all night stuffing my face.  Scrumptious food from Fuel and Cru Catering.  I was too busy eating to take any pictures!!!

(photo courtesy of Nina!)  And also that's crazy me pretending to hold a drink.

<3<3<3

Here's to more good times in Charleston.  Perhaps I won't be such an antisocial loner after all.  ;)

[brazenlyasianincharleston]

What NOT To Do When It Snows Ice And Sleet

This post is a little late, as today is Super Bowl Sunday, and all the events of madness in this post happened about a week beforehand, but still, here it is for your entertainment:

6 Things I've Done In Charleston That I've Never Done Before

1. Had my car completely freeze over 2. Unfreeze said car in order to drive 3. Had a major freakout when things (ice) started to crack very loudly while driving. 4. Witnessed an entire city freak out and close bridges over extremely icy roads 5. Drive over said icy roads 6. Freak out the whole time I'm driving on those icy roads.

See that?  That's my car.  That's not just a light dusting of snow covering my windshield.  That was like 2-3 inches of solid frozen ice (redundant, I know.  I'm trying to make a point here).  There were even icicles dripping from the edges of car, and off the side mirrors.

And did you know that you are not supposed to pour hot water over your frozen windshield? Apparently doing this may cause your windshield to crack.  Too bad this California noob had no idea of this and had already poured hot water on her windshield before she was privy to this sacred knowledge.  Luckily my windshield was fine.

Opening the door was a challenge, because the door handle and doors were FROZEN SHUT.  A bunch of ice cracked and broke off when I forced my door open.  Then any kind of turn, or any time my tires hit a ledge--CRACK.  CRUNCH.  Something near the rear of my car was breaking.

Then since the main bridge was closed, I had to go the long way around to an open bridge to make it downtown to a friend's place.  First time driving through sleet and ice?  Terrifying.  Probably all in my head, and it wasn't so bad if I look back at it, but utterly terrifying in the moment.

But still, you say.  SNOW?!?!  Snow in Charleston!  So pretty, right?

WRONG.

It normally does not snow in Charleston (or so I'm told, at least).  Snow in Charleston does not mean snow angels and friendly snowball fights.  And there was definitely none of this:

Snow in Charleston apparently means MASS TERROR.

The entire city shuts down, and bridges shut down due to icy roads.  When bridges shut down, it leaves people stranded at work, stranded at home, stranded and unable to get to/out of downtown, kids stranded in schools on one side of the bridge with their parents stranded at work on the other, etc.  MASS PANDEMONIUM.

I was at the mercy of the bridge gods, who would determine if and when I'd be able to get to work in the morning, or if I would be able to make it back home at night.

And if that weren't bad enough, the day that the weather finally warmed up and all the ice was supposed to melt and go away, the Ravelanche hit.  What is the Ravelanche, you ask?

This is the Ravenel bridge.  I live on one side, work on the other.  See those cables?

When it started warming up, large chunks of ice started falling from those cable and falling onto cars.  Destroying them. 

This is what giant chunks of falling ice does to your windshield.  One person was reportedly injured when shattered windshield glass got in their eyes.  THEIR EYES.  I was driving across this bridge an hour before these reports came in (and subsequently re-shutting the bridge)!  I can't imagine what I would have done if this happened to me.  I probably would have peed in my pants before crashing into the side of the bridge.  Then peed some more.

Pretty interesting times.  This polar vortex was no joke.  And now I've learned what NOT to do when your car windshield freezes over, although hopefully that won't happen again.  Let's see what else Charleston teaches this California girl!

UPDATE: Maybe next time I can just hammer my way into my car?