@kushtibokt : There is an overwhelming feeling of want nagging him, strong enough to prompt this sudden approach, though he knows this time not to indulge in his impulsive need to touch—it is bad enough that what he wants is already plenty bold, so even without his unwanted contact, he couldn't guarantee yet to have the scholar agree to indulge him.
So he can only stare, even though his hand is itching to grasp his fingers and drag the other towards him, with him, away from all. He directs his focus to his eyes, instead. Warm, beautiful, just like the whole man.
"Doc." He begins, and then pauses for a moment as he digs between excuses for a justification. Nothing feels suitable, that he could tell the other would accept without getting suspicious or upset.
His gaze ultimately turns away in defeat, as if dodging the embarrassment of pushing himself to admit, at last. "—I want your attention today. It doesn't matter whether you just hang out with me, or lecture me, or teach me something, anything. I just want your focus on me entirely."
With another pause, he blinks, and peeks over his face before adding. "If you're not busy today, of course. I'm done with my workload." It had left him strangely empty and wanting.
almost every encounter with the stoneheart had left the scholar feeling empty and wanting. exchanges of little value were vexing enough, but aventurine had a tendency of offering glimpses, mere sparks of what ratio wished to submerse himself in entirely.
their shared kisses and touches never seemed enough, their conversations intriguing, if often frustrating, but never touching on the topics he truly wished to discuss. being with him seemed a downright impossibility, albeit not for a lack of desire; the gambler was guarded fiercely by what the doctor rightly assumed to be past suffering. knowing parts and deducing others left him aware that he had endured much, and he understood that it likely did not ease the strain showing any vulnerability might bring.
still he seemed brazen, seemed to boldly request, to want, when ratio felt, more and more, as though he was tolerating behaviour that only truly had the power to leave him dissatisfied, irritated and regretful.
he didn't even seem to address him by name, what hope was there that their encounters would ever truly bear any more fulfilling qualities than fleeting pleasure ?
ratio held his gaze, a soft prickle beneath his skin lingering, defying his unwillingness to eternally entertain the executive's whims, and those brilliant eyes of his only seemed to assist in that endeavour. that averted gaze of his saw him lift a brow, a temptation to uncover the reason for what seemed to be sheepishness flaring briefly. it was promptly snuffed out with his request.
eyes narrowed lightly, his expression promptly became considerably more displeased. it seemed obvious that his request was not fuelled by hubris but rather by simple want; seldom did aventurine seem so hesitant to state his desires. still, to that day he had not been given any reason to believe that there was lingering meaning behind his affections, that they would ever be anything but non-committal.
it did not help that hearing him say he wanted his attention solely on himself did tug ever so gently on his heartstrings.
❛ why, exactly, should i heed that request of yours ? ❜ he questioned, head canting lightly. while spending time with him did sound pleasant, a mere demand like that was, admittedly, quite out of line. ❛ unfortunately for you, i am not at your beck and call to be toyed with. ❜