cut strings around my throat

what's a puppet without a puppeteer? Vent Blog for pxpedau Viewable OoC Only Unless given link IC

[poltergeist-girl-deleted-deacti]

i’ll still try to say it because maybe it will be validating to some:

the concept of trauma is very much gate-kept by many people. Theres not such thing as “not traumatic enough”. Trauma reaction ranges from feeling slightly uncomfortable to things like memory loss, flashbacks, etc. Everyone has different reactions to trauma and all sorts of things can be traumatizing to individuals. You’re not a faker or over-sensitive for finding different things traumatizing or having a different reaction.

[brckenmaricnette]

me, someone who overdosed on medication in an attempt to commit suicide back in college: definitely not panicking about carrie and feeling like shit for being unable to help her

[brckenmaricnette]

charybdiis replied to your post “excited and very very very nervous hahah….”

? <:(

Atlas stuff. I’ve been putting a lot into finalising the new ECHO devices and everything and I’m just. really hoping it goes over well?

If it doesn’t it won’t matter because I still have other designs and research and stuff for the company but.

I dunno.

I just want to do well, to be good at something again.

[brckenmaricnette]

excited and very very very nervous

hahah....

[brckenmaricnette]

charybdiis replied to your post “charybdiis said: people need to realize that most jacks are terrible,...”

i understand.... i'm here for you, okay? anything you need...

i’m sorry i’m sorry...

thank you i love you......

you’re more than i deserve....

[brckenmaricnette]

charybdiis said: people need to realize that most jacks are terrible, no matter what. i’m gonna sit with you, okay? no need to apologize… i can hold you too if you want…

hhh I know there are good ones. JD at least is good. But I cccant lisssten to defending Jack's. Not after what my jack did. Not after what reds did. I can't I can't I can't please? I...i need something to ground myself.....I love you im sorry...

[brckenmaricnette]

charybdiis said: she like. clings to any jack that pays her any attention

o h g od thhhatssss so g ross hhhhh nnope nope nope

[brckenmaricnette]

charybdiis replied to your post “someone i don’t even fucking know: NOT ALL JACKS ARE BAD me, gagging...”

who the fuck.

simon?? i think is her name??

i’ve never even spoken to her this is it.

[brckenmaricnette]

charybdiis replied to your post “i’m just gonna. not go online at all today. @charybdiis if you need me...”

i'm sorry... do you want me to keep you company?

i’m sorry... i’m sorry i know you’re friends with a couple i’m sorry i upset people i’m sorry i did this

i’m sorry i’m so fucked up

hhhhhh

if you want to...i would like that... i’m kinda. half here right now... but if you don’t want to i understand...

[brckenmaricnette]

i’m just gonna. not go online at all today. @charybdiis if you need me i’m gonna be doing some stuff for atlas.

i’m sorry.

[brckenmaricnette]

someone i don’t even fucking know: NOT ALL JACKS ARE BAD

me, gagging and wretching: disgusting. throw it away right now. get it away from me.

[sugar-born]

[brckenmaricnette]

heh

sorta just realised i’m gonna go from one kind of broken to another once this curse lifts

haven’t had a migraine or phantom pain since tuesday because my head’s in one piece and i’m not missing fucking body parts

i can’t wait to have my proper body back but

the only nice things about this have been not having to deal with my cybernetics and the bad memories attached

and having my tits back i guess. they’re kinda nice.

i just don’t want all of the phantom pain and headaches i missed out on in the meantime to come back at once in retribution.

[healingsuggestions]

Don’t you dare ever think that if you disappeared, nobody would miss you. Because I promise, somebody would miss you for the rest of their life.

[movedto-catullvs-blog]

you know those people who are just luminous, like they’re so beautiful and everything they do is endearing and all you can do is stare and hope that some of their light hits you someday. maybe it’s not even romantic but they’re just such people, they’re humans, and they’re so beautiful that you cannot make yourself look away

[brckenmaricnette]

charybdiis replied to your post “at least people are being honest i look like a fucking corpse i am...”

wrong. you're beautiful no matter what, because you're you... don't listen to those assholes who're hiding behind some online mask.

they’re right though... i look so bad like this.... 

mmmmm gh.

i’m sorry carrie.... thank you.....

[brckenmaricnette]

at least people are being honest

i look like a fucking corpse

i am disgusting

fucking gross