genuine question: why do you ship Tommy and Dream..?
Oooh that's a good question actually. Now that I've met a lot more Bowspam shippers, I'm realizing not all of us are out here for the same reasons, haha. Despite loving the same guys, I've seen a looot of different takes that I don't necessarily agree with (not in a bad way! it's just not my go-to or not what I extrapolate from canon).
So, here's what I like about the dynamic! This is nearly word-for-word copy/pasted from my general exchange letter (when I sign up for gift exchanges and request that my gifter write/draw Bowspam for me, this is what I say to show what kinds of things I like about them) and it is as follows:
Enemies to lovers. Enemies and lovers. They’re obsessed with each other - kind of pathetically, vulnerably so - and nobody likes it. Not even themselves.
A very very key piece of the Bowspam dynamic, to me, is that they egg each other on. Tommy doesn’t lie there and take it; he’s angry, he’s loud, he’s provocative in the most general sense - in fact, he’s often the person starting shit rather than the other way around. He gets himself into trouble constantly and reaps incredibly disproportionate consequences. Tommy causes problems for himself and sticks his nose in unsafe places and gets himself in all these situations - and really it's not his fault the universe decided to give him natural 1's on all his checks, but he is, in fact, the one that tried to make the roll in the first place. With Bowspam, I love a Tommy that is constantly flipping back and forth like a metronome, questioning whether or not the situations he’s gotten himself into are his fault, whether or not he wants to be here, whether or not he deserves it.
On Dream’s end, I love a focus that drives home how utterly, deeply human he is. He’s just a guy, and that’s probably the most terrifying part of all, knowing he’s just a person with his own wants and desires that chooses to take the power he has and twist it in his favor - even and especially if he has intentions that he thinks are good or correct. I love explorations of Dream’s server unity motive, especially exploring how he loses sight of it in doubling down on his flawed methods, and how Tommy tends to be on the hook for it, both purposefully and not. I think explorations of why Dream does what he does that circle back to extremely human desires are the most fun.
Additionally, not to say that I don’t love Bowspam where Tommy and Dream are both awful and toxic for each other forever (because I definitely do,) but I am also open to more sympathetic/healing takes, where things are still bad, but like - less bad. They’re trying. If you want to go for that, I’m also all for it!
And usually I kind of stop here, but to elaborate a little bit more, I enjoy their relationship because of how messy it is - not in spite of it. I love Dream's control issues, I love exploring his fears and his desires, I love his infatuation and fascination with Tommy as the sole object of his complete control (so Dream views him as,) I love how Dream needs him in various emotional senses, and I love exploring what directions that might take.
I love Tommy as a victim of this kind of abuse - to be put down, hurt, treated cruelly, seemingly without reason. I also love him as someone who keeps returning to that abuse, because there are parts of it that are nice, parts of it that he feels like he needs in return, because Dream isn't a monster (Dream was his friend, at one point - maybe not in the way he insisted he was during Exile, but before, when they were dicking around and laughing and making jokes and working together and having fun.) Because maybe if he tries harder or does something differently it'll turn out better this time, right? (Not unless a miracle happens.)
But, speaking of miracles, I am pretty loud about the fact that I'm a nukes-ending enjoyer, and find it one of the more interesting parts of lategame canon that we were left with. While definitely not a perfect piece of lore (could anything else have been more horrendously paced? honestly,) I think it says a lot about Tommy's character - the ways in which he eventually compartmentalized Dream into this horribly unique evil that was plaguing him all the time, and the ways in which that meant he could never reconcile with the prospect of letting go.
There's a post by @/simplepotatofarmer that resonated with the way I viewed c!Dream early on in the fandom's lifespan - I remember seeing this in 2021 before Jailbreak had happened, when people were really in the weeds of c!Dream discourse, especially because of the torture happening in Pandora's Vault and how the dynamic had basically turned on Dream (and I could go on for ages about how I LOVE Sam, Quackity, and Dream as a trio, too, but this post is not about them). And I think it's also worth a read in consideration with how I enjoy Dream and Tommy in a potential future where they might be trying to heal old wounds.
I think that covers almost everything. And yes, I ship them in the normal dumb way too, because I like it when they stand next to each other and I cover my face with my hands and kick my feet when the tension between them starts brewing. I think that's a pretty normal way to ship them too. I gain joy from seeing them in Situations, and if they happen to also kiss (or do other intimately charged things) I become a giddy wreck over it. That's all.
(And to address the potential bad faith just once: No, I don't view canon-compliant Bowspam as a healthy relationship. Just because I also sometimes write or draw them in situations where things are fluffy or healthy doesn't mean I'm trivializing abuse - same if I make them toxic and unhealthy forever. No, I don't think real-life abuse is good, and no, I don't think enjoying these things in fiction makes me evil or wrong. Simple as that.)