🌛🌹🐱

Here, Queer, Drinking Beer

[breemonkee]

Life is a the long game of tether ball.

I’m the tether ball.

[breemonkee]

As a Sagittarius, I am feeling like a horse in a stable.

Im ready to kick and run.

[breemonkee]

Anyone you are feeling atm?

I’m waiting for someone to put some effort into me, so they can get all this love.

[breemonkee]

Having someone co-dependent on you is the most exhausting and aggravating thing if it’s not a child or a pet.

I shouldn’t have to raise a partner, I shouldn’t have to be the only one who feeds, cleans, and caters to the other.

I’m so worn out all I can do is nap after my physical full time job- but no- my second full time job of being a mother to everyone is never ending.

[breemonkee]

I wish I could say what I really want to say

[breemonkee]

It’s hard to be alive

It’s hard to leave my dogs. I know no one will care for them like I do, have, and will..

When they are gone I want to be gone.

I can’t keep thinking of others suffering, remember this.

[derangedrhythms]

Wendy Cope, Anecdotal Evidence; from 'In Memory of a Psychoanalyst'

[breemonkee]

Imagine having to ask your partner to help with minimal tasks such as trash and dishes just so I can sit down sooner and enjoy a movie with them

& then getting negative energy, grunts and sighs, over tasks I have to do EVERY DAY anyway.

Don’t try and say you’re trying to be supportive by giving me resentful energy for tasks that should be shared with people who live together.

You’re tired of being asked (not expected) to help once? Imagine how tired I am.

I have to sacrifice my own sanity to ensure other’s are constantly prioritized.

[breemonkee]

I really am not the main character in my own life story.

[breemonkee]

It really only gets harder and harder

The more my life is held over my head and I am forced to feel grateful for it

The more I just ..

[breemonkee]

If I wasn’t here,

She would look for me

Cry for me

They would miss me. This is why I stay

[breemonkee]

I’m fighting every urge

I’m losing every battle

The closer to 30 , then more I understand my original plan

30, hurting, surviving

[breemonkee]

“Because I never have to worry about you”

Yeah, because I learned early I can’t depend on you. Even as a child, I am in debt to you because you CHOSE to keep me?

I shouldn’t have to refrain from boundaries because you were obligated to feed, clothe, and shelter me until 18. Even then, you made me pay my way and earn my keep.

While others lounge around lazily taking advantage of you, only for you to express and exude your frustrations back onto me.

You can’t just use me forever. You can’t just use my life as a way to weaponize your desires and needs.

You can’t just be a shitty person & make me look as if I am the shitty person for trying to break your family’s toxic chains.

[breemonkee]

I’m tired of giving my all

Having to correct myself, having to change myself, yet having to thinking for more than myself

I try to change and try to improve

I can’t be every resolution when I am somehow the reason for every problem

I’m trying and trying

I’m tired

[unreadable]

[breemonkee]

Love how much others enjoy being cared for by me, tended to by me, and definitely don’t actually see me.

If I don’t say anything or do anything then I’m either a nag or an enabler

No one meets me half way, no one notices my effort, no one loves me like I love them- yet when I set the boundaries or stop caring.. I’m still just a villain

[grunge-girl-666]