Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@brennahirhyfelwr
merryshieldmaid:
“Why, do you know of someone slow and boring?” Merry countered, the corner of her mouth curling into a faint smile. As they started up the path towards the castle, she said, “It was nice, to have a practice partner again. I’d be grateful for your company in future.”
Brenna laughed. “Thank you.” Taking her crutches, she took a deep breath before leaning on them. Doing this always felt like a defeat, yet this time it wasn’t so hard and degrading, at least.
morganttudd:
“Hello Brenna. Please.” Putting down the stalk in his hands, Morgant pulled out a chair for her. The herbs he had given her should have dulled the pain but it would take time to heal. The options for pain relief hadn’t been exhausted but he also needed to know if the injury was healing badly and one question remained.
“I know it’s hard but have you been staying off of it?” Hard was an understatement. They didn’t live in peaceful times and asking a knight to remain inactive was next to an impossible ask.
Brenna could lie to him but he would probably be able to tell anyway. “Not exactly,” she sighed. “It’s really hard, you know I can’t just sit around for too long.” Of course, when she was told she might lose the leg because of the infection, that scared her a bit and she did spend a couple of days in bed but even then she couldn’t stay away longer. “So is there anything you could give me to basically forget this problem of mine exists?” Preferably a new leg, she thought to herself.
Your resilience and determination fill me with awe, and are matched only by your courage and the beauty of your smile. Yours, a Secret Admirer.
Dear Brenna, I know it has been tough, but I am still here cheering for you. Sincerely, Your secret admirer.
“Oh. I... Thank you. Whoever you are.”
Morgant grabbed another green stalk from the large pile in front of him and began stripping the leaves. Much of the morning had been spent in the garden collecting ingredients to be used in his work and now all that was left to do was store them. It wasn’t a straightforward a process. Some required drying. Others needed to be infused into water to be of any use. Still others, such as the plant he held in his hand, required more immediate use and could not be stored. It was silent work but it was one of the more relaxing of his duties.
Morgant heard someone enter the sun-filled room. Not looking up, he said, “Can I help you?”
Brenna was practically used to the pain at this point so when she woke up that morning, she was ready not to mention that the herbs have stopped working again. But by the time she finally found the time to visit the physician, the throbbing pain in her leg made it impossible for her to focus, so even she had to admit she might need to consult with Morgant.
“Yes, actually,” she replied when she reached the physician’s chambers and he noticed her. “Hello, Morgant. I was hoping you could give me something stronger for the pain?” She could only hope he would be able to come up with something.
merryshieldmaid:
“It will indeed - the knight who overcame all the odds and proved her worth to those who would doubt her. A story indeed,” Merry said, lifting one shoulder in a shrug as she carried the weapons back over to set them on the racks for others to use. “You’re welcome. I enjoyed it.”
Brenna smiled. Somehow Merry’s version sounded better than hers. “If you ever feel like you want to practice with someone slow and boring, let me know,” she joked, adjusting her tunic before reaching for her crutches. “I’ll be happy to observe your skills again.”
merryshieldmaid:
Merry looked at her quietly for a moment. Clearly it was more than just a scratch, and she could understand at least in part why some might doubt whether a full recovery was possible. But equally she could understand why Brenna would resent that, even as it seemed she might have her own doubts. But it did not seem helpful, or Merry’s place, to point that out, so she just said, “Then you will just have to prove them wrong all over again, won’t you?”
“The knight who spent her whole life proving people wrong. That is going to fit nicely with all the heroic tales the bards like to write about us,” she laughed. If working even harder was what it would take for the others to take her seriously again, so be it. But gods was it hard. “Thank you for practicing with me today.”
merryshieldmaid:
Merry did understand, very well, though she had to think for a few moments before she could put her feelings into words. “Yes, I do … I enjoy testing myself against other people and learning from them, but with men it feels … it feels less like testing my skill and more like proving my worthiness.”
“You’re describing my whole life,” Brenna laughed. “Though it’s got better after I got recognition from the King but now it feels like it’s happening all over again. One little scratch and suddenly everyone doubts your skill.” Even yourself, she thought with a bitter chuckle.
merryshieldmaid:
Merry gave a non-committal murmur. She agreed to an extent - if a person couldn’t learn to control themselves, then they would never make it on the battlefield or as a hunter. But people were also human; they got afraid, they made mistakes, and a man who fell apart one day might be perfectly in control the next. “Well, that’s what it’s for. Practice enough and it becomes second nature. You don’t need to think so much, get in your own head,” she said with a shrug. Glancing down at Brenna, she added, “Let me know if you ever need a partner.”
Brenna nodded. “Thank you. I appreciate it.” She thought for a moment before adding: “I like practicing with you because I don’t feel compared and judged like when I train with the other knights. It’s still a challenge, a competition, but a good one. Do you know what I mean?” It was probably stupid, she thought.
merryshieldmaid:
“That’s true …” Merry said slowly, considering the point as she put her bow down. The stakes were certainly far different in actual combat or the wild than they were on a training yard. “But I’ve also seen that motivation turn into desperation, get in men’s heads and make them too tense to shoot well.”
“Those men are idiots,” Brenna said. “Real life situations need to drag you forward not hold you back. What’s the point in excelling on the training field if you can’t use your skill in the wilderness?” She glanced at the target and then down to the bow. “Of course if you can’t get out there, you might as well just rely on the excellence on the training field,” she sighed. “I’m going to have to practice a lot.”
unstableisabella:
At the knight’s words Isabella grew silent. Perhaps it had been naive of her to assume that after all this time Brenna’s injury was merely a temporary inconvenience. “Of course, sorry, I just- I have a hard time imagining the stables without you. For more than a while, I mean,” she chuckled awkwardly. “Obviously, I mean it’s not like you’re dying.” She shifted uncomfortably, trying not to think about it too much and trying even harder not to talk about it. “Right, yes, me; I’ve been fine. Well, I’ve been better, but it’s fine. Everything is fine.”
“As you can see, you can’t get rid of me, even if I can’t ride,” Brenna chuckled, patting the horse’s neck lovingly. When the other spoke, she looked at her curiously. “I’m sorry. I know it’s none of my business, but you don’t sound like everything is fine.” The girl was usually gushing about horses and smiling (at least at Brenna) but now it seemed like something was bothering her. Brenna hated to see her like that.
unstableisabella:
When the knight agreed Isabella practically beamed. It was the first good thing she’d heard since her father’s passing. “Of course, it would be my pleasure. I think Shadow and I could both use it.” Her eyes trailed after Brenna as she made her way into Shadow’s stall, and for a moment she considered leaving things like that and just getting back to work. Then again, Isabella wasn’t known for her self control. She followed the knight and leaned against the stall. “I wouldn’t say he’s suffering, not with such a nice stall and full stomach. Besides, if he was suffering I wouldn’t attribute it to your stupidity. Not that you’re stupid! I just meant that it’s normal for knights to get injured, right? You’re not the first person that has to refrain from riding for a bit.”
“I didn’t mean to imply he was suffering under your care,” Brenna added quickly. “Just... I think running free might do him some good. And I wouldn’t say ‘for a bit’, actually. It’s going to... take a while.” She refused to say it out loud - that she might never be able to ride a horse properly. “How have you been, Isabella? It’s been a while..” she tried to change the subject.
merryshieldmaid:
“You find a moving target easier than a stationery one?” Merry asked, lifting one eyebrow in mild surprise. Notching a last arrow, she tilted the bow this time midway between where she had had it for the first two shots and relaxed the string a fraction from how she had drawn it previously.
The arrow whistled through the air, hitting closest to the centre. Better. It always took time to get used to the heft and draw on any bow, and this one was made more for long-range combat across battle fields than simply for the targets at the end of the yard. Still, it was good to stay in practice.
“I think it’s the fact that with target practice, you’ve got nothing to lose, you know?” Brenna shrugged. “The motivation is greater when hunting down an animal. Or an enemy, for that matter.” If one of her father’s murderers was running from her, she was damn well sure she would get them with her eyes closed.
unstableisabella:
“Don’t mention it,” she said casually, though she sincerely hoped the knight wouldn’t bring it up again. Isabella knew she could have handled that better. “If you’re worried about him I’d be happy to take him out for a ride one of these days.” It was bold thing to say. Despite spending most of her life caring for the horses it was another thing entirely to assume she could ride a knight’s horse. “Of course, come in. I’d be the last person to tell a woman not to spend time with her horse. Do you need anything? I’ve haven’t been able to spend a lot of time in the stables the past few weeks, but I’ve made sure Shadow says groomed and well fed.”
“That would actually be perfect,” Brenna smiled. She always trusted Isabella to take a good care of her horse and if there was someone she’d want to take him for a ride, it would be her. “I think he’d appreciate it. And the last thing I want is for him to suffer for my stupidity.” Brenna walked to Shadow’s stall and patted the horse on the side before dropping onto the pile of hay with a groan. She considered asking the stable girl to keep her company but stopped herself before doing so.
merryshieldmaid:
Merry shrugged. She was not, and knew she likely never would be, a master archer or sharpshot - she had spent too much time practising with her blades rather than her bow. But she had taken the time to make sure she could shoot at least reasonably well, and there was little point in pretending otherwise. “I was on my own a lot before I found someone to teach me, so I relied on my bow for hunting.”
Notching another arrow, she rotated the bow so it was lying flat before shooting. The arrow thunked into the target, a little closer to the centre but still off - perhaps she had drawn back a bit too much this time.
Brenna thought back to what she learned about archery, both from her father and later in her life. There were many things she remembered but already knew she’d have to reconsider or adjust given her current situation. Perhaps a different approach would help.
Closing her eyes to concentrate, Brenna took a deep breath before opening her eyes again and letting another arrow go towards the target. It hit right next to the target. “I find hunting different to target practice,” she stated, smiling to herself at her achievement. “Easier, in a way.” She set the bow down, satisfied for now.
unstableisabella:
Isabella cursed under her breath when she realized who she was talking to. Her irritation had been foolish. Not only was it reckless to be rude to a knight of Camelot when her employment could be at risk, the last person she wanted to snap at was Brenna. The knight had always been a friend to her and while Isabella hadn’t seen Brenna since she’d disappeared on some quest, she still thought of her with fondness. “Miss Brenna, my apologies,” she said with a sigh, running a hand over the back of her neck. “Of course, Shadow will be pleased to see you. He’s been a bit restless lately though. If you want I’d be happy to saddle him for you?” Of course, it was at that precise moment that she noticed the crutches. “Oh, bollocks, sorry, I didn’t know- I mean, I didn’t see.”
“That’s alright, thanks.” Brenna smiled bitterly. “That might actually be why he’s so restless. I’ve not been able to ride him for a while.” Apart from that one failed attempt to get on the horse, Brenna avoided the stables. It was too painful to watch the others saddle up and come and go while she couldn’t and possibly never could ride again. Today, though, she felt like she needed to come here. “I’d like to spend some time with him at least if you don’t mint?”
Isabella had always known this day would come. She’d dreaded her father’s death for as long as she could remember, and she now that he was gone she cursed herself for it. No one could deny that she had loved her father dearly, hiss death had stirred a different kind of sorrow within her. She did not know what was worse: the fact that he was gone from her life forever, or the fact that her position at the stables might be compromised now that he was no longer the royal stablemaster. What did that say about the kind of person she was? She’d had weeks to prepare for this, spending her days locked inside caring for her father in his sickness.
As she made her way to the stables she felt a weight in her chest, with the memory of her father’s eyes going cold still haunting her. She’d never been particularly good with people, and her father had always known that. The truth was she didn’t really know who she was outside of the stables. As she approached the entrance she froze in surprise. “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting to anyone. Can I help you with something?” she said a bit impatiently. She didn’t know how much longer she had to work with the horses, but if her time was limited she intended to make the most out of every remaining second.
Even though she couldn’t actually ride at the moment, Brenna made sure to pay a visit to her horse every now and then to make sure he wouldn’t forget her. It wasn’t easy for her but she felt she owed it to him since he didn’t get to trot around as often as he’d deserve. She didn’t think she’d meet anyone there so the stablemaster’s daughter’s presence caught her by surprise. Her tone even more so. “I came to see my horse,” she responded to Isabella’s question, feeling almost silly for saying something like that out loud. “I don’t want to be in your way.” Leaning on her crutches, she hoped to be hidden in her horse’s stall without anyone seeing her, actually.
