“ selfless. ” repeats the word , knows that bren’s right. never did anything for himself before. never cared about what he felt. that’s why it was so easy to hate people. didn’t have to try. it didn’t bother him to hate people. it was the easiest thing to feel. it was the easiest emotion to access. everything else was just locked away. tight. didn’t want to have to tell ares that he was right after all , but standing here looking at bren he knew that his friend had been right. but knows that it’s going to take time. knows that he’s going to do this over & over until he finally lets himself enjoy this. just hopes that bren never gives up on him. would have given up on himself by now. can feel something building in his chest. sadness , something. something he’s never really felt in a feeling like this before. it was rough , breathing getting heavier as the feeling sinks in. grips hard at bren’s hand , nodding his head. “ safe. ” repeats the word because bas feels that too. like it’s okay for him to feel. like it’s okay for him to be a real person. pulls bren closer , body nearly collapsing against his chest. “ i’m sorry. i didn’t –– i’m sorry. i just freaked out. i never let people in like this. no ones ever made me feel like this. you literally make it hard to breath. ” tries to keep his voice from cracking. “ just don’t give up on me. please. ” knows he’s told him before , but not in person. “ you make me feel safe , too. and normal and ––– less broken. and i just don’t feel like i deserve those things. i’ve never been a good person. why would i deserve you ? ”
“ yeah , baby. ” he says softly , and he would tell bas over and over how selfless he was. what kid just decides that they’re going to help raise their siblings ?? give up their own childhood to make sure that their younger siblings have one , that they all stay together. bas was mean , rude at times , and it just made bren like him more. was it a kink ?? maybe. but he knew that there was always so much more to bas and bren was finally seeing that , seeing what he had known was under his mask. bren wants to do everything for sebastian , for his family. wants to give them everything they deserve. “ safe. ” he repeats , would say it over and over until bas believes him. “ so safe. ” he says softly. “ i can be myself with you. i can be goofy and weird and i can talk to you for hours about something small and stupid. you make it so easy to feel so safe. ” bren confesses. “ i know , bas. it’s okay , babe. ” he can’t help the pet names , will call him them until he’s told not to. bren lets bas pull him closer , a small smile on his face. he puts his hands on bas’ chest. “ i can get you an inhaler , baby. ” he jokes , his smile getting bigger. he moves his hands from sebastian’s chest to his face , cupping his cheeks in his hands. “ sebastian mendosa. ” his voice is soft. “ i would never give up on you. ever. ” his eyes are soft , full of love and bright. “ when have you not been a good person sebastian ?? when you were 15 raising your baby brother ?? when you were taking care of your siblings so you’d all be together ?? i want to know what makes you such a bad person because i don’t see it. i just see a man who loves his siblings , who’s been selfless his whole life. someone who has always put himself last. someone who deserves to have good , amazing , beautiful things "
jbbartram-illu
2087
baratheonpilled
dededos