Oh the Shade of it All

Jean-Michel Lyon & Miss Etta Kitt here to serve the tea. Have a tip or a confession? Send it in, if you dare.

[breton-gossip]

So many fabulous faces here in Vannes. Some familiar, some fresh. You’ve all been so quiet lately though. Give me the goods! Who’s been out and about? Who’s been causing trouble? Give us something to work with!

[breton-gossip]

Where did all of the spiciness from Halloween go? I think we need to have a little more fun, don’t you? Tell me what you know. Is it true? Is it ridiculous? I don’t care! I want to hear it. Hell, you can even send some names and we’ll say who should get together and do the devil’s dance, if you know what I mean. Just give us something to work with, honey!

[breton-gossip]

Any thoughts on some of your favourite costumes thus far?

Ooh, you just can’t wait, can you? Let’s see...

Did you catch a peek of the duchesses @duchess-katarin-lemeur and @duchess-anna-ofanjou? In the words of the wise Justin Timberlake, they’re bringing sexy back. They didn’t hold out on us, did they? Duchess Katarin attended with the stunning @wendy-kwon who was positively drool worthy, and Duchess Anna came alone. Though I might have noticed her sneaking into a room with a tall drink of a man...

@samuelxfloch could tear into me anytime he wants. Those muscles! That hair! Yes, please. Speaking of hair, let’s talk about @win-hamon. He pulls that spooky look off well. Can he take a bite of me while Sam tears into me? Can someone arrange that?

In the fantasy realm, we have the always pleasing to the eye @drewgriffin and @lin--zhang. I’d go to another world with them, if you know what I mean.

[breton-gossip]

Jean-Michel and I have been dying over the costumes some of Vannes’ finest have chosen for this fabulous holiday. Keep the pictures coming and we might just have to talk about some of our favorites. 

Until then, you muffins need to get your freak on. I’ve been waiting all week for the smut fest- Don’t let me down.

[breton-gossip]

What did you think about the masquerade? Did you have any favorite outfits?

Oh, it was glorious wasn’t it? The masks, the finery, the food, the alcohol...the sheer BRILLIANCE of it all.  

I will have to come back with some more thoughts. But as far as favorite outfits? Mine of course!

[breton-gossip]

JML! What is happening in Vannes?! What do you know about the drama in the Anjou House?

HONEY. Just like the rest of Vannes, that drama took me utterly by surprise. I, mean, our dear Duchess a traitor? Say it isn’t so! And now that poor little slip of a girl has to step into her shoes?  She’s barely chosen her designation!  The Duchess of Nantes studied under her father for years!  And what does this mean for the race to the throne? Has Anjou lost their chance to seat a monarch?

Ah! It’s just all so much to comprehend.  I knew things had been much too quiet around here. It appears that the other shoe has fell, darlings. And it wasn’t some darling Louboutin. No sir. It was a nasty, stinky Birkenstock straight out of 1969.

[breton-gossip]

What's been happening in our city lately, JML? We're craving some good tea.

So am I, darling. The tea is usually hot and plentiful around these parts but lately...I don’t know. People are either being far more discreet or well, they are behaving. Since I doubt they are behaving, I’d say people are keeping their dirt well hid.

Regardless, I have snooped a bit and found a few things that may or may not be happening. I leave it to you fine citizens to decide.

First of all our Easter celebrations were fine as always. The kissing booth was, of course, a hot spot of activity.  From my view, there were a couple of people that participated in more than a peck on the lips. Did anyone else see @emeline-of-anjou sneak away from her duties at the booth with everyone’s favorite youtuber @jian-riou?  And did you notice that @nathan-le-pennec looked more than a little flustered after that hot liplock with @felix-letallec. 

Speaking of the Le Pennec clan, it was lovely to see @asa-le-pennec in something that wasn’t flannel. Who knew the man was a furry? 

Now...aside from Easter there are some other lively tidbits floating around about our three candidates for the throne. I’ll let you decide the veracity of these bits: 

It is rumored that his grace,  @cyrusxdukeofmaine has a secret collection.  But no one seems to know what it is. My bet is dildos. If anyone susses it out, be sure to whisper it in my ear.

The fierce Katarin LeMeur @duchess-katarin-lemeur has been rumored to have a serious addiction to designer granola. Obscene amounts of money seem to be going towards feeding this odd obsession. Really, darling? It couldn’t be a designer drug?

The always graceful Amalie Dubois @theduchessofanjou has been spotted tooling around at night on a tricked out motorcycle? To be honest, I hope this one is true. Who doesn’t want to see her grace in leather?

and our arbiter? oh my, his grace has been spotted with one of the younger members from the House of Nantes. My sources says that he even took the young man back to his estate after the holiday. @stargazingalexei @dukeofvaneti

[breton-gossip]

and the Winners are:

Who did they pick to announce the winners of the Easter Egg decorating contest? Why me, of course! Who better to give give such fabulous news to such deserving citizens.  Without further adieu, here are our winners.

Most Original goes to: @artyeliane Best Easter themed to: @ivy-muir Most Entertaining: @daisyxbehan and for our children's contest the daughter of @sweetxgabi

Ladies! You all did such a fine job. For our adults, the finest bottle of champagne and for our dear Dulcie, the largest chocolate Easter egg we could find.

Congratulations!  

[breton-gossip]

My dear Jean-Michel, it seems nobody in Vannes is able to give me the juicy gossip I missed in the past year. Help me, Obi Wan Queenobi. You're my only hope.

Darling Wendy! So lovely to have you back where you belong, honey. You must come around for actual tea. I must hear the happenings from Seoul. Those IDOLS! That SKINCARE!  Ah, but I digress.  Things are, as always happening in Vannes. Let’s see what what I can serve up, hmm?  The recent storm seems to have stirred up all kinds of lovely news.

Our lovely arbiter @dukeofvaneti seems to have taken on house guest since the storm. Word has it a lovely boy from the House of Nantes has taken up temporary residence. @stargazingalexei.  

@jian-riou was seen arriving at the hospital and then leaving with @emeline-of-anjou.  Are these two back on? Wouldn’t that be lovely?

@astrid-omnes  The lovely hedonist that she is seems to have finally been...ahem...pinned down by the equally as lovely and also fierce @charismaticxfreddie. With their history of hit and quit it, is this one doomed already? Time will tell.

Everyone’s favorite coffee shop and bookstore is currently shuttered with storm damage. Here is to Brainwash reopening soon. It is definitely one of my favorite places to work. @annickxberthou  Annick should maybe call up that hottie she’s been seen with @leonardo-capulet. Maybe he’s got the right tools for the job.

In other storm damage, it appears that @lianaromano-ofmaine and @charmingxcallum had some damage to their residence, resulting in them separating to live in the Maine Chateau and Nantes Chateau respectively. Can’t help but wonder what the separation might do to the happy couple.

@kate-gallou is making quite the stir, lots of lovely submissives seem to be falling at her feet rapidly. I hope they don’t bruise themselves unnecessarily. 

@cesario-romano seems to be on his way to being magazine editor par excellence. Lux will surely be a smashing success. But is all well in paradise? His tiny dancer @opheliacapulet seems a bit...stressed. He may want to take care of business at home, too, yes?

@gervais-dubois seems to have spent a lot of time since coming home at the Castlebrac. Is @roxie-belle the reason why? And if so, how is @theduchessofanjou feeling about it?

And lastly...

I’ve noted the absence of @asa-le-pennec. Word has it he is out of the country looking into new options for flannel. If so, I will have him arrested as soon as he returns for crimes against fashion.

[breton-gossip]

[breton-gossip]

You've been quiet, JML! What's happening in our fair city?

Oh honey, just when I thought the well had dried up and our fair citizens of Vannes have gone as stale as leftover beer at a frat party...everyone and their brother (quite literally in some cases) decided to have a big old honesty party on their social media yesterday. The tea was hot, darlings. And oh so delicious.

The family drama. Confessions. It was glorious.

It does remain to be seen whether or not all this newly shared knowledge will cause any ripple effects but oh is it good to know that my city shall never let me down.

[breton-gossip]

The tea is being spilled all over today. Any tea of your own to spill? What's been going on in Vannes?

Honey this week has got me tired. Fuck pilates. Keeping up with the Vannes social drama is workout enough. 

Vday Shenanigans:

So most of the drama started at our Valentine’s Soiree. Which reminds me: @asmatamaji and the staff of Castlebrac, thank you for such a decadent affair. One of our best yet.

Now let’s see…our little darling skater seemed to have a bit of a group hug situation with his friends. Makes me wonder if there is a bit of a triangle situation there. @jian-riou @jaewon-calves @stargazingalexei  Menage-a what now?

I also spotted a little redhead lioness sniffing around her former paramour. I also saw a certain blonde Duchess that was none too impressed about it. Little Leonie may want to lawyer up before the Duchess digs in her heels.  @leonie-moreau @duchess-katarin-lemeur  @juno-bouchard

Is love brewing at the theater? Our little ballerina and musical tour de force seem to be getting cozier. @waverleyofanjou @nicxlyon  I’m sure we’ll see more of that duo in the days to come.

Suspiciously absent from the celebrations:  The sad american cowboy.  Dommes! Step. Up. Your. Game. @rhett-thomas

Other News:

In other news, everyone’s favorite arbiter seems to be getting out and and about. He’s been spotted with both @stargazingalexei and @emery-sutherland. And I for one am glad to see him enjoying life again.  @dukeofvaneti

Now, this one might not be so well known but, well, I am an expert eavesdropper. It appears that the house of Nantes may have a bit of inner turmoil if bar conversations are anything to go by. It seems that @duchess-katarin-lemeur is none too happy with at least one member of her house. If not more. Makes one wonder if house woes won’t spell trouble for her grace’s chances at the throne. But, the year is young.  @camille-laubert

That’s it for now. Delicious isn’t it?

[breton-gossip]

Who's your best dressed at the v-day celebration?

Well my fellow citizen once again brought their A-game. We had red, pink, black to match the wearers cold, dead soul. Regardless of color, here are my picks for best dressed.

Best Dressed Couple:

The Duchess of Anjou and her Claim. So in love after these many years and still looking fabulous.  Turning heads on and off the dance floor.

Best Coordination:

There was a trio of lovely friends that may not have meant to but coordinated perfectly. Looking at you Ami Sato, Jian Riou and Jaewon Calves. Those suits! That vest. The young people of Breton do know their fashion after all.

Deepest V:

That awardi is a tie. The Duchess of Nantes and Miss Emery Sutherland went for broke with those V’s, honey. And not a wardrobe malfunction in sight. Fierce, ladies. Just fierce.

Best Worn Suit:Yes, yes. So many suits. All colors. But the tailoring of Nic Lyon’s suit? So crisp it it was nearly a weapon.

Prettiest in Pink:Breton’s own Ballerina. Looking like a she stepped from a fairytale. Graceful and beautiful? my oh my, this girl has it all.

Now, I know you didn’t ask, Anon, but I cannot in good conscious speak of all the beautiful people without speaking of one absolute failure.

Flannel Abomination:

Asa La Pennec, honey. Flannel is for home improvement stores not Castlebrac. Next time, just say no to buffalo plaid.

@asa-le-pennec @waverleyofanjou @nicxlyon @gxmer-ami @jaewon-calves @jian-riou @emery-sutherland @theduchessofanjou @duchess-katarin-lemeur

[breton-gossip]

Happy Valentine’s Day

Enjoy your evening all you lovers out there. I see you all looking fierce, fabulous and maybe a little filthy too.

Check in with yours truly after the event and we will dish over half priced chocolate and wilted roses. Until then, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do citizens of Breton.

[breton-gossip]

[breton-gossip]

Any word on who’s asked who to the Valentine’s celebration?

Look, nonny, this is a question I’ve been asking myself. It appears that Vannes isn’t keen on grand gestures. Where is the pomp? Where is the circumstance? People step it up! This is a day for l’amour. 

Now, that doesn’t mean I cannot speculate.

I did spy two lovely ladies out dress shopping while I was finding my own attire. While it is doubtful that @solennxmadec and @genxdebarbarac are attending together, they will certainly look divine for their dates.

After all that shopping, I stopped to have coffee and saw @cristian-capulet and @jian-riou also partaking and in what seemed to be deep discussion. Where they making plans to attend? I cannot say but I certainly wouldn’t be mad at it.

Now, it remains to be seen who will be attending solo. I suspect @asa-le-pennec will continue his bachelor streak. But beyond that? Who is to say?

The real question...why has no one asked yours truly? 

[breton-gossip]

Who do you think could use a good scene?

Hmm, if I were a better person, I wouldn’t begin to entertain this question.

But I’m not.

Now, I am certainly not privy to everything that goes on behind closed doors, but I can certainly speculate based on public behavior. And if I were a betting man, I’d lay odds that Breton’s very own American cowboy could use a good hog tying of his own.

Dommes of Breton, save a horse, ride a cowboy, will you? He is far too pretty to be sour all the damn time.

Obviously everyone could use a good scene, though. It pains my heart to think that there might be a lack of such anywhere in Vannes. Step it up, people. You only live once.

@rhett-thomas