Brett Smith

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[brettjsmith]

And a helmet on the side just in case someone wants to join him!

[brettjsmith]

CHILD #1 IS NOT COLLEGE MATERIAL

We love our Gertrude but we couldn't help but laugh at her expense when she met our topiary dog last night for the first time.

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And to think there are people who don't go to the polls because they think their vote doesn't count. If you always do what you always did...

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TOO FAST

James isn't 10 anymore. To me, it was always an overused cliché. Then I saw it happen; they really do grow up so fast. My little brother James is 17 now and our conversations have changed from Harry Potter and dreams of becoming a professional baseball player to girls, cars, colleges and becoming a rockstar.

He's quite the guitar player and he started skateboarding again after taking a few years off. I'm going to see if I can get him an invite to the X Games next summer... 

[brettjsmith]

Best Friends

I'm an idiot. It's still unclear what part of my brain told my body that it was ready for a workout that included 100 pull ups. Now I have three new best friends: Tiger Balm, Bio Freeze and Ice Pack. I hate them. I love them. 

Back from Patagonia, I've been away from the gym for six weeks and from the way I feel today, three full days after the workout, it might be another six weeks. 

When I was 14 I broke both of my elbows. My humerus bones smacked into the ends of my radius and ulna bones. Dirt bike crash. I couldn't bend my arms at the elbow in either direction. 

I'm glad that happened because I'm in the same predicament now. I can't fully extend or flex my arms. From that experience 18 years ago I know that I can brush my teeth by moving my face around the toothbrush, I slither around the floor to get dressed (having a wife helps here) and never mind the activities you don't want to know about. 

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Over the past eight Christmases we've given our company owner a bobble head doll of himself, a kegerator, a hand puppet of himself and wife and many other gifts you'd have to see to understand. This year we decided to keep it simple.

So we bought him a truck. Because he sold his own and misses it. 

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Visit Original Link

In Nov. 2009, Mike Perkins and I had the awesome opportunity to meet Ronald D. Crachiola, aka "Crackman", the number one Detroit Lions fan in the world.

"My seats are great," he says. "My nuts split the 50 yard line!" 

We were producing an episode of "American Tailgater" for MavTV; Lions vs. Browns. The game was being dubbed by fans as the Shit Bowl because, at the time, the two teams had won a total of two games that entire season, or something like that. 

I knew the tailgating in Motown was going to be tougher than other NFL venues we'd visited for the show (Lambeau, Arrowhead, Heinz Field) so I wanted to find the one person who had endured the pain of being a Lions fan going back to 1957, the last time the team had won a national championship. The Crackman was our guy. He's truly a treasure in the state of Michigan, loves his Lions (and John Wayne) and is one of the nicest men you'll ever meet. 

I received an audio holiday greeting card from Crack today and I want to share it. Audio is the only true way to appreciate Crackman.

[brettjsmith]

Not Worthy

In honor of Michigan finally beating Ohio State after seven straight defeats, here is an anecdote from a few months ago:

The ruby ring was so close to my nose it was almost out of focus. It was engraved with the letters OHIO and encircled with "National Champions." My seat mate on Delta flight 4164 had clearly set me straight. No, I have never won a national championship, not even in the sports where I actually competed. Not many people do. But that's just a guess. 

I'd made a playful rib about his Ohio State computer bag when I retrieved it for him from the overhead. I'm a Michigan alum. That's what we do. Either Paul [real name] had finally had enough or he does this to every Michigan fan who heckles his allegiance OSU. He was also wearing a baseball cap with "WOODY" emblazoned across the forehead.

"Have you ever won a national championship?" he asked me with authority. Of course, I had no response. "I'm so sick of you Michigan people thinking your better than us."

Usually when an airplane lands the cabin is filled with the white noise of passengers informing people who aren't on the plane that they have landed; "now we're taxiing"; "now we've pulled up to the gate"; "they haven't opened the door"; "I don't know what's taking so long"; that sort of stuff. Not on this flight. It was all Paul and everyone was staring.

"In my sophomore year [1968] we beat you 50-14. Eleven of my teammates went to the NFL and ? were All-Americans. What do you have to say to that?"

"Oh," I said. "You mean have I ever won a national championship. No. No I haven't. You win."

At the same time I wanted to know why it was taking so long to get that door open.  

I wish I had a more dramatic ending to tell you. One where we're dragged off the plane by US Marshals, where Paul is screaming "Do you people know who I am" and I'm just wetting my pants because I probably wouldn't be good in that situation.

No. I made nice with Paul. Even sent him copies of UM/OSU-themed shows that I produced in 2009. 

Paul caught his connecting flight to Buffalo, NY. I'm currently working on that national championship. 

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This can't be for real. Somebody has actually figured out something lazier than a Snuggie. Are we really encouraging adults to wear giant onesies? And also be lazy all the time? This is jaw dropping I-can't-believe-what-I'm-seeing TV.

[brettjsmith]

Department: All You Have To Do Is Ask

I wanted to watch tonight's NFL game so I called Comcast and told them to turn on the NFL Network. Then I told them I wanted to pay less money for their service. Not only did they instantly green light a bunch of new channels (Yay Nat Geo!) but I'm also paying them $30 less a month than I was before. 

So, if you don't like how much you're paying...

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Four foot five inch Karl Slover really is off to see the Wizard. In June, T and I had a brief brush with one of American film's true treasures: a Wizard of Oz Munchkin. Slover died yesterday in Georgia of cardiopulmonary arrest. RIP, Karl.

Here is a link to a CBS article for more. 

[brettjsmith]

"You don't have to tell me I'm right. I already knew that."

Wife's response when I credited her for being right about something we had disagreed on earlier. Looks like I'll never be doing that again!

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Last night I had the neat opportunity to be left alone, long after hours, in the AMA Motorcycle Hall of Fame Museum. Despite being surrounded by dozens of rare, exotic and iconic motorcycles I was more interested in the contents secured behind a door tucked down a hallway in the back of museum.

The gateway to the archives of the American Motorcyclist Association is locked at all times but since we were shooting video for the upcoming Hall of Fame induction ceremony we had full access to the archives which contain photos, slides and copies of almost every magazine and book ever published on the subject of motorcycles and motorcycling. Total geek moment for me and a major harbinger of ideas.

[brettjsmith]

Ophir-1

There was a road here...

Apparently it's already winter in the mountains. The Durango, CO Visitor's Bureau told me that the Ophir Pass (think "loafer") was closed but when we rolled out of the town of Silverton, CO and saw that the gates for little ole County Rd. 8 were wide open (heck, maybe there were no gates) I said, "Why not?"

Should have turned around at the sign that read "Recommended: High Clearance, Four Wheel Drive" A Dodge Caravan is higher than a sports car, right? What!? Soccer moms don't have four wheel drive?

Should have turned around when the road started to get damp.

Should have turned around when we started to see patches of snow on the road. 

Should have turned around when the corners started to get tighter than the van's turning radius ability.

To my co-workers who each got married a few months ago: "You guys have life insurance, right?"

Really should have turned around when we needed to build momentum to get up some of the grades that, from the bottom, seemed to extend into infinity. 

How we didn't get a flat tire on one of the thousands of giant baby heads or puncture a hole in the gas tank escapes me. 

At 11,800 feet the road, er single-lane-dirt-mountain-pass, turned completely white, buried under three feet of snow. We made it to about the green arrow.  It was actually a good thing that we didn't have a 4X4. It may have given us a false sense of confidence. That path actually disappeared. We turned around, only 3 miles from the town of Ophir, CO, a tiny hamlet near Telluride that has no discerning features other than one hell of a view of the San Juans.

We had to go back to the Million Dollar Hwy. (spectacular) around the top of the San Juan Forest and down CO-145, a two hour drive. 

The point here? Just like turning onto the Ophir Pass in the first place: I have no idea.

See. There it is. The road.