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Text >> Everyone (Literally)
-as the following is sent out to Jordan's entire phone book; or well everyone in Millstone-
Jordan: Impromptu Welcome Back Party for me and Tommy. Tonight. 7:30. Millstone Bowl. Be there.
Stuart: Better have good beer.
Text >> Dad
Jordan: Maybe I should just pull a Tommy and basically move out.
Dad: That'd be a stupid decision. We've got every right to be pissed off you brought someone you've known for two weeks back to this house. To the bloody country! Ditched your brother for him too.
Dad: I'm disappointed. I expected better from you.
Text >> Dad
Jordan: You mean MY BOYFRIEND. Yeah. He's paying.
Dad: Your two week old boyfriend? Sure. As long as he's not in my house.
Text >> Dad
Jordan: I'm here. I am literally texting you from my bedroom. I'm about to leave to meet people for breakfast, but I'm here.
Jordan: Let me know if Tommy bothers to show. I'll swing back by.
Dad: Both of you or none of you. If you can't be mature enough to talk to eachother then you can't be trusted with the cards.
Dad: Have fun. Hope people are paying for your breakfast!
Text >> Dad
Jordan: Then text him! I'm not responsible for his ass.
Dad: You're both responsible for what happened in Europe. He knows the terms for the card too. Both of you here, or no cards.
Text >> Dad
Jordan: You want Tommy home, text him. Or Joe.
Dad: I want you both home and to find out what the fuck happened in Europe. Both of you here, or no cards.
Text >> Dad
Jordan: I am home.
Dad: You're halfway there then.
Text >> Dad
Jordan: So what's it going to take for you to unfreeze my account?
Dad: You home and your brother too.
Text >> All Offspring
Savannah: He is not. He's Tommy's best friend.
Dad: He's a spoiled little shit and you're not going.
Text >> All Offspring
Savannah: Yeah yeah yeah
Savannah: Not today. I might stop by Joe's later, tho. I can tell you if Tommy's there.
Dad: Why're you going to Joe's? He's an arsehole.
Text >> All Offspring
Nora: I know.
Nora: Sending someone up with your tea now.
Dad: That's my girl.
Dad: If you hear from them, let me know.
Text >> All Offspring
Savannah: 125.
Dad: Not a chance. I'll just get someone else on the desk.
Dad: You heard from the terror twins?
weaponizedbrunch:
Robert: Looks like I’m dead, dad. Should I tell mum the sad news?
Dad: Nah, there’s that many of you she won’t even notice.
Text >> All Offspring
Savannah: 120.
Dad: 65.
Text >> All Offspring
Nora: Don't know. You fired me, remember?
Nora: Also as of 30 seconds ago, the twins can't access their accounts.
Dad: I'm old, my memory isn't what it used to be.
Dad: There's a reason you're my favourite.
Text >> All Offspring
Savannah: How much?
Dad: 50.
Text >> All Offspring
Nora: So then, what, you're going to plan the centennial, two sweet sixteens, a retirement dinner, and, by my last count, six weddings?
Dad: Where's my brew?