Brew Balled @brewballed-blog - Tumblr Blog

BREWBALLED --> Don't Lose Faith

Whenever Zach writes an article, the Brewers seem to do bad, like get swept by the Kansas City Royals who had a Major League worst 8-20 record when playing in their home ballpark, Kaufmann Stadium, before their last series with the Crew. Whenever I write an article, the Brewers seem to do well. Naturally, I was forced to write another article.

Even though it’s after midnight, I’m at my grandpa’s house, and he’s getting us up early each day to help him move stuff from downstairs to upstairs, which involves heavy lifting that may tire out most normal people, I am writing this article to help get the Brewers back on their feet. I am making a difference. What are you doing? Giving up on them? This is what I have to say to you: "残念." For those of you who don’t speak Norichika, that means shame. You have brought shame to America. Shame to Milwaukee. Shame to your mother. If you are a true fan, you stay until the end, for better or for worse.

This tweet stirred up some controversy in Brewer nation:

This first responder will remain anonymous and a pansy for using a Twitter for iPad app, instead of getting a much more portable and useful gadget, an iPhone:

To this I have to say that the Royals swept the Rangers IN Texas earlier in the year. Josh Hamilton/Rangers went on to win 8 of his/their next 12 games. The Royals also took series wins from the Angels, Twins, Yankees, Red Sox, White Sox, Orioles, Indians, and Athletics, so it’s not like they haven’t played baseball before. The Brewers are also notoriously bad in interleague games as they sport a 99-115 interleague record in 214 games (Royals are 120-153).

It’s not that the Brewers got swept by the Royals that has our diapers filled with poop, it’s the way they got swept. Having chances to win every game late, only to have a blown save or a costly error get in their way. Three straight walk-off losses. One to a walk, and one to a throwing error on an erotic play. We can handle one. But three!?! All in a row?!? Makes us wanna cry, doesn't it? But does it make us want to give up on the season for good?

This sweep has people giving up on the Brewers. Worse than that, it has people bragging about when they gave up on the Brewers:

Not cool @PackFanatic1. Not cool. At least you bought an iPhone, though. Just gotta find the positives and build something with it. Season’s not over. It’s not October 3rd yet is it? IS IT?

(Tangent)

Okay, so last time I endorsed Norichika Aoki and the next game he shot off 2 bombs and a walkoff so this time I gotta pick Ryan Braun. He's bettered his stats up to this point in the season while sporting a sore achilles. He seems to be heating up so watch for him to hit many home runs in the near future and take over the NL home runs leader, Beltran. Ryan Braun, MVP.

(Tangent Over)

All I’m saying is that if you’re a true fan of a team, you don’t give up on them. You stay by them and hope for the best. Sometimes, that’s all you can do. So, don't lose faith.

- Josiah Spindler

#Brewers #Norichika Aoki #Corey Hart #Braunie #Ramo #DONTLOSEFAITH

The Right Divison

The injuries have slowed down and the play has started to improve. Although their most recent homestand, the one that was supposed to catapult them back into fame and stardom, was not as fruitful as anticipated (winning 5 and losing 4 against the Pirates, Cubs, and Padres), the club finds itself just 4 games under .500, a mark they have not bettered since May 12th when they were 15-18. 102 games remain on the season, and the Brewers appear to be in the right division if they are to make a run. If the crew was in any other division, they would be more games back than the mere 4.5-game hill they face in the NL Central. The closest division to this is the AL Central, where the Tigers, who share a 28-32 record with the Brewers, face a 5-game deficit. Consider the NL East. The Brewers could be 4-games ABOVE .500 and be farther out of the division lead than they currently are in the central. (Can the Nationals keep it up? T’would be exciting.) In the NL West the situation is even direr. An even 30-30 record from the D-Backs garners them an 8-game deficit in the division. In fact, to be where the crew is in the central (4.5 games back), they would have to share the record of the Giants, a more than respectable 34-27 mark. The major league leading Dodgers, hosting an exemplary 39-23 record, lead the NL West and, oddly enough, were the victims of the Brewers’ first season sweep (a 4-game series that showed a glimmer of hope from the injury ravaged Bernies). So what am I saying? 60 games through the season, the NL Central is the weakest, record-wise, division in all of baseball. Remember, though, that the two teams in the NLCS last year came from this division. Also remember that those two teams had two little players named Pujols and Fielder rounding out their rosters. But this is 2012, the year of the acid washed jeggings. So, there’s that.

- Zachariah Spindler

6/12/12 at 2:45 PM

#news

BREWBALLED --> details

BREWBALLED

According to the average American boy, wanting to be a baseball player is one of most sought after career choices a young man drools over. What do you need to become a baseball player? Well, in order to be on the active roster of the Milwaukee Brewers right now, you must weigh more than 170, but less than 245 pounds, with an ideal weight of 204.8 pounds. You must also be taller than 5 feet 9 inches but shorter than 6 feet 8 inches with an ideal height of 73.6 inches tall (6 feet 1.6 inches), unless you are Japanese. In that case, you have to be 69 inches tall and weigh 180 pounds with 20/20 vision. Also, your ideal birthday would be in September or October of 1981**. Keep in mind the average American man is 5 feet 9 inches tall and weighs 180 pounds: like an American Norichika Aoki!

Number Player Height Weight DOB

1 Corey Hart 6 foot 6 235 March 24th, 1982

2 Nyjer Morgan 5 foot 10 185 July 2nd, 1980

5 Taylor Green 5 foot 11 195 November 2nd, 1986

7 Norichika Aoki 5 foot 9 180 January 5th, 1982

8 Ryan Braun 6 foot 1 200 November 17th, 1983

9 George Kottaras 6 foot 0 200 May 10th, 1983

12 Martin Maldonado 6 foot 1 225 August 16th, 1986

13 Zack Greinke 6 foot 2 200 October 21st, 1983

14 Brooks Conrad 5 foot 10 190 January 16th, 1980

16 Aramis Ramirez 6 foot 1 205 June 25th, 1978

18 Shaun Marcum 6 foot 0 195 December 14th, 1981

21 Cody Ransom 6 foot 3 205 February 17th, 1976

23 Rickie Weeks 5 foot 10 220 September 13th, 1982

26 Manny Parra 6 foot 3 205 October 30th, 1982

27 Carlos Gomez 6 foot 4 210 December 4th, 1985

29 Edwin Maysonet 6 foot 1 180 October 17th, 1981

40 Jose Veras 6 foot 6 240 October 20th, 1980

43 Randy Wolf 6 foot 0 205 August 22nd, 1976

46 Juan Perez 6 foot 0 170 September 3rd, 1978

48 Tim Dillard 6 foot 4 220 July 19th, 1983

49 Yovani Gallardo 6 foot 2 210 February 27th, 1986

50 Kameron Loe 6 foot 8 245 September 10th, 1981

57 Francisco Rodriguez 6 foot 0 195 January 7th, 1982

59 John Axford 6 foot 5 210 April 1st, 1983

64 Michael Fiers 6 foot 3 195 June 15th, 1985

You have just taken a look at the active roster for the Milwaukee Brewers as it stands. It’s all about the details. Feel free to compare yourself to the players. (Goes by height, then weight, then birthday.)

HEIGHT: (shortest to tallest)

Number Player Height Weight DOB

7 Norichika Aoki 5 foot 9 180 January 5th, 1982

2 Nyjer Morgan 5 foot 10 185 July 2nd, 1980

14 Brooks Conrad 5 foot 10 190 January 16th, 1980

23 Rickie Weeks 5 foot 10 220 September 13th, 1982

5 Taylor Green 5 foot 11 195 November 2nd, 1986

9 George Kottaras 6 foot 0 200 May 10th, 1983

18 Shaun Marcum 6 foot 0 195 December 14th, 1981

43 Randy Wolf 6 foot 0 205 August 22nd, 1976

46 Juan Perez 6 foot 0 170 September 3rd, 1978

57 Francisco Rodriguez 6 foot 0 195 January 7th, 1982

8 Ryan Braun 6 foot 1 200 November 17th, 1983

12 Martin Maldonado 6 foot 1 225 August 16th, 1986

16 Aramis Ramirez 6 foot 1 205 June 25th, 1978

29 Edwin Maysonet 6 foot 1 180 October 17th, 1981

13 Zack Greinke 6 foot 2 200 October 21st, 1983

49 Yovani Gallardo 6 foot 2 210 February 27th, 1986

21 Cody Ransom 6 foot 3 205 February 17th, 1976

26 Manny Parra 6 foot 3 205 October 30th, 1982

64 Michael Fiers 6 foot 3 195 June 15th, 1985

27 Carlos Gomez 6 foot 4 210 December 4th, 1985

48 Tim Dillard 6 foot 4 220 July 19th, 1983

59 John Axford 6 foot 5 210 April 1st, 1983

1 Corey Hart 6 foot 6 235 March 24th, 1982

40 Jose Veras 6 foot 6 240 October 20th, 1980

50 Kameron Loe 6 foot 8 245 September 10th, 1981

WEIGHT: (lowest to highest)

Number Player Height Weight DOB

46 Juan Perez 6 foot 0 170 September 3rd, 1978

7 Norichika Aoki 5 foot 9 180 January 5th, 1982

29 Edwin Maysonet 6 foot 1 180 October 17th, 1981

2 Nyjer Morgan 5 foot 10 185 July 2nd, 1980

14 Brooks Conrad 5 foot 10 190 January 16th, 1980

5 Taylor Green 5 foot 11 195 November 2nd, 1986

18 Shaun Marcum 6 foot 0 195 December 14th, 1981

57 Francisco Rodriguez 6 foot 0 195 January 7th, 1982

64 Michael Fiers 6 foot 3 195 June 15th, 1985

8 Ryan Braun 6 foot 1 200 November 17th, 1983

9 George Kottaras 6 foot 0 200 May 10th, 1983

13 Zack Greinke 6 foot 2 200 October 21st, 1983

16 Aramis Ramirez 6 foot 1 205 June 25th, 1978

21 Cody Ransom 6 foot 3 205 February 17th, 1976

26 Manny Parra 6 foot 3 205 October 30th, 1982

43 Randy Wolf 6 foot 0 205 August 22nd, 1976

27 Carlos Gomez 6 foot 4 210 December 4th, 1985

49 Yovani Gallardo 6 foot 2 210 February 27th, 1986

59 John Axford 6 foot 5 210 April 1st, 1983

23 Rickie Weeks 5 foot 10 220 September 13th, 1982

48 Tim Dillard 6 foot 4 220 July 19th, 1983

12 Martin Maldonado 6 foot 1 225 August 16th, 1986

1 Corey Hart 6 foot 6 235 March 24th, 1982

40 Jose Veras 6 foot 6 240 October 20th, 1980

50 Kameron Loe 6 foot 8 245 September 10th, 1981

BIRTHDAY: (youngest to oldest)

Number Player Height Weight DOB

5 Taylor Green 5 foot 11 195 November 2nd, 1986

12 Martin Maldonado 6 foot 1 225 August 16th, 1986

49 Yovani Gallardo 6 foot 2 210 February 27th, 1986

27 Carlos Gomez 6 foot 4 210 December 4th, 1985

64 Michael Fiers 6 foot 3 195 June 15th, 1985

8 Ryan Braun 6 foot 1 200 November 17th, 1983

13 Zack Greinke 6 foot 2 200 October 21st, 1983

48 Tim Dillard 6 foot 4 220 July 19th, 1983

9 George Kottaras 6 foot 0 200 May 10th, 1983

59 John Axford 6 foot 5 210 April 1st, 1983

26 Manny Parra 6 foot 3 205 October 30th, 1982

23 Rickie Weeks 5 foot 10 220 September 13th, 1982

1 Corey Hart 6 foot 6 235 March 24th, 1982

57 Francisco Rodriguez 6 foot 0 195 January 7th, 1982

7 Norichika Aoki 5 foot 9 180 January 5th, 1982

18 Shaun Marcum 6 foot 0 195 December 14th, 1981

29 Edwin Maysonet 6 foot 1 180 October 17th, 1981

50 Kameron Loe 6 foot 8 245 September 10th, 1981

40 Jose Veras 6 foot 6 240 October 20th, 1980

2 Nyjer Morgan 5 foot 10 185 July 2nd, 1980

14 Brooks Conrad 5 foot 10 190 January 16th, 1980

46 Juan Perez 6 foot 0 170 September 3rd, 1978

16 Aramis Ramirez 6 foot 1 205 June 25th, 1978

43 Randy Wolf 6 foot 0 205 August 22nd, 1976

21 Cody Ransom 6 foot 3 205 February 17th, 1976

An interesting thing to note is that pitchers on the Brewers are generally taller and weigh more than offensive position players. As for why, it could be purely coincidence or it could be because Kameron Loe is a giant and his height alone makes everyone else look tiny:

*Please note that this chart of Milwaukee Brewers is current and attains no detailed information on the following starters currently serving time on the DL: Marco Estrada, Mat Gamel, Alex Gonzalez, Travis Ishikawa, Cesar Izturis, Jonathan Lucroy, Chris Narveson. Adding these players would change the average height, weight and age for the active roster of the Milwaukee Brewers.

**These details really have no effect on becoming a baseball player, they are just interesting to look over and compare yourself to what could have been.

- Josiah Spindler

#Brewers #BrewBalled #details #statistics

Closed for Maintenance

BREWBALLED

This is another BrewBalled article. I’m just sitting in my basement looking at the things around me - a Chorizo, Nintendo 64, Xbox 360, Flugel horn, cheese balls, Beats by Dre, Fear Factor season 1, Namco arcade game, ping pong, pool, fußball, a drumset, two tv’s expelling ‘Around the Horn’ and baseball with its bright Liquid Crystals and lots of other things not mentioned. Hmm. Just by reading that, you may be thinking one of two things: (1.) wow, this guy has a sick basement, I want to hang out with him, or (2.) if you put all those things on a baseball field, they don’t really go together. Isn’t that going to affect team chemistry?

Answer: absolutely. You’ll have those guys who steal a tv and play Nintendo 64 or Xbox 360 all night. You’ll have those guys who eat cheese balls and watch Fear Factor all night. You’ll have those guys who play ping pong, fußball or pool across the basement from the tv’s all night. You’ll have those guys who play drums and trumpet while a guy listens on Beats, and you’ll have that guy who plays Namco all by himself with a Chorizo in the corner. How do you get these guys to all get along? Put ‘em in a locker room and trust they work it out.

After losing Mat Gamel, Alex Gonzalez, and Chris Narveson for the season, (two of which were new starters on the team) the Crew needed to call up some new guys. And even then, Travis Ishikawa and Cesar Izturis hit the DL so we needed to call up some more new guys. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that these guys don’t know how to deal with call ups and trades and all that jazz, but when you have a group of guys celebrate a divisional series win, and a National League series loss together, they grow as a team together as well. When that team chemistry gets disturbed in any way, it gets easier for the team to grow apart.

Michael Fiers, Juan Perez, Martin Maldonado, Brooks Conrad, Taylor Green, Edwin Maysonet, Travis Ishikawa, Cesar Izturis and Cody Ransom. Have you heard of any of them before this year? Well, every single one of them were not part of the Brewers at the beginning of the year. The point: injuries take their toll on a ball club not only performance-wise, but chemistry-wise as well.

After sweeping the Dodgers, the Brewers were feeling real good about themselves coming home for a 3 game set with the Pirates, Cubs and Padres, and then going on the road to Kansas City and Minneapolis only having to go 10-5 to get back to .500. If they can get over that hump with as many injuries as they have, then they are right back in the race to reclaim their National League Central division crown.

Maldonado has done all we expect from him in Jonathon Lucroy’s absence, while Brooks Conrad, Rickie Weeks, Nyjer Morgan and Aramis Ramirez are starting to heat up. Ryan Braun is Ryan Braun so you know you’ll get your homeruns out of him, Corey Hart is in a little bit of a slump right now but he’s still been getting his hits, Carlos Gomez looks to be ready at the plate again, but his nagging hamstring injury has Aoki or Nyjer starting in his place for defensive purposes. Ever since I ordered my Aoki jersey, he’s been getting unlucky with his bat, hitting it hard directly at the defender, but I have confidence his Japanese slap shot will find the holes once again very soon.

According to bleacher report, our starting pitchers combine for a .159 average in the batters box, which is good for 3rd best in the NL. Their 29 total bases is good for best in baseball as well as their .415 OPS and 10 runs scored, which is tied for most. The reason for this stat: I would take any of our pitchers in place of Cesar Izturis when he gets off the DL. I hope Ron Roenicke understands that Izturis always comes to the plate with the bases loaded and one out, only to ground into a double play. Please. Cody Ransom > Cesar Izturis.

Maybe in one of these next series, the guys playing Xbox 360 or Nintendo 64 will invite the Namco arcade gamer to play with them, which makes the guys watching Joe Rogan host Fear Factor want to play Mario Party with the guys, which turns into a huge ping pong tournament between all the players with some nice trumpet on drums music in the background. Lets not forget about the cheese balls getting tossed around the clubhouse either. All it takes for team chemistry is a rookie’s first career homerun, or some nice walkoff hits for the guys, or a four-game sweep of the best team in baseball in order to get them to actually connect with one other. I’m not saying this was the problem to begin with, but boy oh boy does it look like the Brewers are back and ready to start winning some games.

- Josiah Spindler

#Brewers #BrewBalled

BREWBALLED --> Rickie Darnell Weeks

BREWBALLED

Rickie Weeks. Something’s just…, off. There’s no other way to put it. Yes, he has more walks than hits, (25 to 24) but he’s good for 11th on the team for OBP (minimum 50 plate appearances), slugging, and OPS, tied for 7th in rbi’s, tied for 6th in triples, 5th for stolen bases, runs scored, hits, and 2 baggers, tied for 4th in homeruns, 1st in walks and finally probably one of the more important statistics, 4th in games started trailing only Corey Hart by 2 (43), and Ryan Braun and Ramo (Aramis Ramirez)(42) by 1 for the team lead. What I failed to mention was that Rickie Weeks has a team leading 58 strikeouts. Rickie had a total of 107 k’s all of last year. I think it’s safe to say that the Brewers can’t afford to have a player who has a 37% chance to strikeout whenever he steps up to the plate.

This guy was the NL’s starting second baseman in the All Star Game last year so what happened? Is he hurt? Does he have lady problems? Is he thinking about cutting his braids? I don’t know. You don’t know. Does he know? One thing is for certain, however: the Milwaukee Brewers need him to start hitting in order to win. So far this year, when Rickie Weeks has gotten a hit and has reached base twice in the game, the Brewers are 9-2*. Just imagine all those one run games or those overtime losses where we would have had a hefty chance of winning if Rickie Weeks could hit his way on base.

One guy we are lucky to have: Norichika Aoki. With Nyjer sputtering at the plate as well, we needed another outfielder when Gomez went down. Nyjer hasn’t recorded an RBI since the historic walkoff single in game 5 of the NLDS against the d’bags. I say d’bags only because they felt compelled to make up their own “beastmode” move when Prince’s sons geniously watched Monsters Inc. with their father and came up with the brilliant motion for a beast instead of completely and blatantly stealing the idea from the Brewers and using it against us in the same series. WE CAN SEE YOU.

One more thing that comes to mind is how awful Cardinals fans are. They were decent before the WS win, but since then they won’t shut up about how ‘their’ team is the greatest ever. They should remember that they got the last wildcard spot into the playoffs because the Braves’ Craig Kimbrel got the rookie nerves and lost the last of 8 games to make the postseason. No one said, however, that the Cardinals didn’t make the most of it and careened their way to only having 1 strike left on their season TWICE before ending up with a title. All I want is for them to show respect for the other ball clubs. Everything they are doing this year, they were practically crying about last year. Pick one or the other. Arrogance does not get you far.

Now that one of my many inevitable tangents is over, how about that Jonathan Lucroy!? Can you believe that nobody in my fantasy league owned him until I picked him up recently? And to think I thought those guys had good baseball minds. Another tangent over.

Rickie Weeks went from batting leadoff on opening day to second for a while. And then boom! Fifth for a while and then BOOM BOOM! Sixth. Even with 3 rookies in the lineup almost on a nightly basis, Rickie Darnell Weeks bats in the 6 hole. Crazy how baseball works, huh. BUT, I am confident that when I say when Rickie Weeks finds his bat in Daytona Beach, or in 2011 where he left it, the Brewers will be well on their way to reclaiming the NL Central Pennant, and hopefully this time, a just plain ‘ol NL Pennant as well. However, there is one more condition: get Cesar Izturis out of the majors. At least for now. He always seems to come up to the plate with the bases loaded and 1 out only to hit into an inning ending double play. With the new addition of Cody Ransom, however, the Brewers hope to look past their SS troubles since JJ Hardy and Alcides Escobar, or should I say Yunieski Betancourt and Cesar Izturis. Yikes.

* Denotes an unconfirmed statistic. Most likely not even close to being accurate, but if people actually read through some of this article and happen to read that line, they are more likely to like Rickie Weeks a little bit more which is all I’m after here.** And let’s be honest, most people won’t read the whole thing, if any of it, so they won’t know it was made up.

** All I want is for people to like Rickie Weeks, and root for his success instead of booing him at Miller Park.***

*** He’ll be here for a while if you like it or not so better to help him gain confidence that the fan base has his back rather than boo him for something he knows he needs to improve upon.

Go Brewers. I’m out!

- Josiah Spindler

#Brewers #BrewBalled #Nyjer Morgan #NLDS #Norichika Aoki

BREWBALLED --> Sixteen Ladies

BREWBALLED

I don’t know what I’ve been doing lately, but I haven’t been writing about the Brewers, that’s for sure. Maybe it’s because they haven’t been performing up to our standards. Maybe it’s because Milwaukee baseball left with Prince Fielder. Maybe it’s because all of the injuries so far have given fans reason to totally dismiss this season completely. But what I do know is that there hasn’t been much to write about. Yeah, Rickie Weeks is sputtering at the plate. Yeah, we have 3 rookies starting in the infield with the fourth being a new face to Milwaukee. Yeah, we have 4 starters on the DL, but none of that is newsworthy; however, this is: we have Ryan Braun. We have JONATHAN FREAKING LUCROY. Zack Greinke! (Yes this spelling is correct. A ‘k’ for ‘strikeout’ and the ‘ei’ is veracious. Believe me.) It’s just about the time where you have to stop saying it’s early and say that the players will figure it out. Start saying that our breaks will come. Unfortunately for us, they seem to all come in the same games. Sunday May 20th: our offense put 16 on the board out of nowhere. Three days ago, they put up 6 in the first inning. The offense is there, we just choose to seldom show it. (Or use it at all against Jeff Suppan.)

So, on a totally unrelated note, this is the first article of the summer for me. I’ve been too busy getting drunk and nailing ladies to write which is why I’m writing one tonight. None of the sixteen girls I called wanted to talk to me and one even came over just to slap me on the face for my performance the other night. I realize that was an awful joke that wasn’t even funny, but it doesn’t matter because no one reads these articles anyways. Just to tie the sixteen girls into writing about the Brewers, specifically the performance aspect, I will simply say that their performance is not what we are used to. Once you’re used to something great, you don’t just expect it to tail off and never come back, right? We know the wonderful performance/skill/talent is there, but where did it go? Those ladies know I have the performance in me, but I haven’t shown it to them yet. Only in squirts. Pun definitely not (let’s be honest, yeah it’s intended) intended. Those squirts are the only things that keep them coming back. Maybe he figured it out and the entire performance is back! Sadly, at this point in the season, (much like last year/last night) people (girls) are giving up and leaving or moving on. This will be a main theme until something sparks the Brewers to actually perform to what we expect them to be able to. And then maybe, just MAYBE those fans will come back and get reenergized about Milwaukee baseball. (And maybe, just MAYBE one of those girls will agree to come over and judge my performance high enough to tell another girl, who will tell another girl, who will tell yet ANOTHER girl and so on that I’m back, baby!) My totally unblatant point: once we start performing again, everyone that dismissed the Brewers already, will come back and sorrowfully, mournfully, regretfully, honestly and genuinely apologize to us true fans. If they’re lucky, we won’t tell them to suck our dicks save it for next year. Instead we’ll tell them to jump in Chorizo’s hat and sneak into Miller Park to see the Cerveceros play.

The reality is that we haven’t been playing our best ball AND WE’RE STILL ONLY SEVEN GAMES BACK. Look at the Giants. They’re three games above 500 and still 6.5 games behind Matt Kemp. But that won’t last. The Dodgers don’t have it in ‘em. We may be close to the cellar in the NL Central right now, but come All Star break, the Brewers will be right where they want to be. Well, that’s just a bunch of what John Axford calls “cliché,” which is why I’ll go so far as to say even if they’re not, the Brewers had an unconfirmed Major League best 50-23 post all star game record last year. By that time one of our rookies or even Norichika Aoki will grow into an MVP candidate for the Brewers, right?

Well, this article was a lot about nothing. I even lied a lot. But none of you will know or even care because no one reads these articles! BUT FOR REALZ, if you did read this, share it to your followers so we can actually break double digits! Also, number 7/16 just called, soooooo I’m out!

- Josiah Spindler

#Brewers #BrewBalled #Ladies #Jonathan Lucroy #Ryan Braun #Zack Greinke #Norichika Aoki

Ok. So this is what's happening.

I am well aware that no one is reading this, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to pretend that over a thousand people will read this before they go to sleep tonight. Here at Brew Balled, we're trying to figure out just exactly what this blog is going to be. I, Zach, am going to be spending most of my summer in Iowa City while my brother, Josiah, spends his time in WI. This is going to make doing a regular podcast difficult, and I don't feel like doing anything creative like recording a weekly show over Skype or anything. So, just what is this little space of the tumblr world dedicated to Brewers baseball going to have to offer? I think, I THINK, that this is what the rundown will look like: occasional podcasts, a decent amount of writing and stories, some kooky video posts and rants, and maybe some other media. It should also be known that, since I, Zach, will be in Iowa (where the Brewers, Cubs, White Sox, Twins, Cardinals, AND Royals are blacked out on MLB.TV --> A highly probable rant subject at some point), I will not be able to catch many games on the tube (unless I become quite adept at relocating my internet proxy or whatever). And I think that radio broadcasts can be more frustrating than watching the games because you forget that these people get frustrated with themselves too. I don't see all of the guys mouthing expletives to themselves after their third strikeout of the game. It is easy to forget the humanness and get wrapped up in the sport. Anywho, I just thought I better prep all of our readers (because we know there are so many of you (like over a thousand!)) for the Brew Balled plan this summer. To conclude, we don't know what we are doing in any aspect of the realm, even writing.

Oh, guess what! We are going to the game today. PINK BAT (right?) AND GALLARDO BOBBLEHEAD DAY!!!!!!! Sweep dem pooh bers.

- Zachariah Spindler

5/13/12 at 1:20 AM

This is basically the very first Brew Balled podcast. We manage to spend upwards of a half an hour talking about literally nothing. A must listen!

#podcast

Had a brief conversation with Miller Park Drunk today, no big. Moving up in the pipeline!

#multimedia

Opinions of my Opinions - Rant 1: Dino Jr.

Opinions of my Opinions:

The rants of Zachariah Spindler

Rant 1: Dino Jr.

Shut your clean mouth, Dino Laurenzi Jr. No one wants to hear it.

Ok, we all want to hear it. But that doesn’t mean you should talk. Did that one high school girl talk about how Janet kissed Tom after the football game on Friday and now they are “studying” at Tom’s place after school today? Well, yeah, she did. Do you want to be just like a high school gossip girl, Dino? Do you?!

You must. Because here we have your explanation of the events that transpired regarding the urine sample of Mr. Ryan Braun on October 1, 2011. And I do not doubt for a minute that your story is true and factual and checks out. But you messed up bad, Jr.! Bad.

As a graduate of the University of Wisconsin, there is a good chance that you are a Brewers fan yourself, unless one of the requirements for being a collector is that you have no interest in baseball itself. Maybe your time at Loyola converted you to the dark side – being a Cubs fan would explain a lot. But I am just going to continue my rant under the impression that you, Mr. Laurenzi, are a Brewers fan or are on no real side when it comes to MLB teams.

What you should have done was make up an excuse. Bite the bullet, Mr. T-Rex! Give us something that we can believe to be the cause of these erroneous results. Tell the world that you left your space heater on in your basement office, that you took a different route home than you normally do and it was unreasonably bumpy, thus shaking the urine sample into a different arrangement of genetical make-up (Albert Pujols, perhaps?), that you had a urine sample party at your place that weekend and your friend thought Braun’s pee was his, or that your cat’s litter box is also in a Tupperware container in your basement and you accidently mistook it for the urine sample. Anything! You should have made up anything at all. You should have said anything but what actually happened.

If you wouldn’t care so much about your name, and feel the need to set the record straight, we could all just blame you for the misunderstanding and things could go back to normal. But no. You felt the need to explain yourself in hopes of keeping your job and saving face. With all due respect, Mr. Laurenzi, no one cares about your name. We will all forget it tomorrow. But Braun’s name is already household for the select few living on Saturn, let alone the millions of baseball fans in the United States of America, where baseball is was is the national pastime. Your sole goal (as the Brewers fan that I am assuming you are (call me Dr. Seuss for that rhyme)) should have been to clear Braunie’s name of everything. Even his embarrassingly shameful clothing line. You should have said those fabricated things. You messed up bad and you know it.

Dino, you’ve done a lot. You’ve collected some pee from some pretty important dudes. That’s all good and well, but you’ll always be remembered for accidently mixing some super yellow whiskey into your coke on October 2, 2011 and dropping off some of Jack Daniel’s Ryan Braun’s urine to FedEx on Monday, October 3. That’s what you did, right? Right?

Right.

-Zachariah Spindler

2/29/12 at 7:00 PM

#news

GET REAL series 1. HIGHLY UNUSUAL CIRCUMSTANCES

We've all had enough of this Braun stuff, right? Wrong. No matter your opinion, you have to admit, Braun was part of history. Not just his miraculous MVP season, but also the dirty part of his offseason. He was constantly facing adversity in a time that should have been the best of his life. Instead of enjoying what he accomplished, he was forced to be the focus of the media; the media that was constantly reaching for reasons that may have accounted for the highest ever recorded level of synthetic testosterone. They were unsuccessful. Even now, after Braun has been exonerated of all charges, the media continues to bash Braun’s name. It was really a lose-lose situation for Braun and the Brewers organization. In one direction, you had the possibility of a 50 game suspension, along with the idea that Braun had injected steroids; therefore, joining the likes of A-rod and Barry Bonds being called a cheater. On the other hand, Braun would be exonerated of all charges; however, the media would continue to search for reasons against Braun, and would continue to believe he was a cheater, no matter the final call. What we as people/baseball fans need to consider, is the fact that this information should have never been released in the first place. Then, nobody would think anything of this, which is how it should be. Let’s put this in perspective:

From the side of Ryan Braun:

He went his entire career without failing a drug test (20+). He’s also one of the most intelligent and all-around great guys in the game of baseball. He knows what’s right and what’s not. He went on record for saying "... The best thing he can do is come out, admit to everything and be completely honest… the situation will die a lot faster if he tells the whole truth," in ’03 talking about Alex Rodriquez’s positive test. You don’t think he’d back away from that, would you? Absolutely not. This is coming from a guy who admits his mistakes and accepts them, from a guy who breaks his neighbor’s window with a baseball as a kid, and took full blame for it, from a guy who tells the whole truth. Given, testing positive has higher complications, however, it’s the same idea. If Braun did, knowingly, ingest something illegal, he’d be the first to tell you. No matter your view, you have to feel for the guy. He has been admirable throughout this whole ordeal. When people were bashing his name with ideas such as herpes, or an STD, he remained silent until he was allowed to explain himself. But, apparently, nothing Braun could have said except ‘I took steroids’ could have swayed anyone’s opinions. Ridiculous.

Take his MVP award away. Why? All of his regular statistics were legit. That’s without question. Nothing could have changed that.

From the side of Dino Laurenzi Jr.:

He went to UW-Madison. There’s the first red flag. There are conflicting reports in where the sample was kept. Second flag. FedEx, huh? It’s all about DHL. Third flag. The only thing cool with FedEx is the arrow. They’re probably happy right about now, they’re getting a lot of free media attention. Usually, that’s not a good thing. The media manipulates everything nowadays. Anyway, Dino claims he kept the sample in his basement, MLB claims it was kept in a cooler. Another flag. Dino also claims there were no FedEx locations within 50 miles of Miller Park that would ship that day. Though I respect his decision to keep the samples with him instead of dropping them off at a 24 hour FedEx that Friday, he brought them home for over 44 hours unsupervised. That may be the final reason why Braun got off. The people that believe Braun cheated would stop right there and call it a ‘technicality.’ However, Braun first stated, “There are highly unusual circumstances.” If you think that’s the only reason Braun was cleared, you’re insane. I guess we’ll just have to wait until Shyam Gas’ statement is leaked, because, like everything else with this situation, leakage is key to everyone’s opinions, to see why he sided with Braun.

Like I said before, Braun was a part of history. He’s the first player ever in the Majors to successfully reverse a positive test result. That in itself has to mean something. Some may say he had the best legal team, and he got off on a technicality. Well, consider this. Who was Barry Bonds’ legal advisor? You guessed it, the same guy as Ryan Braun’s. If Boyd Johnson III were really the only reason Braun got off, Bonds would have been found innocent as well. And a technicality, huh? That may be the part that Boyd vigorously attacked, but it was not the sole reason Braun was found innocent. Get real. You must also factor in the fact that Bonds' trial was never leaked until after the fact. “The truth was on our side.” “Highly Unusual Circumstances.”

Let’s also remember that Braun was an “open book” throughout this entire process. If it were all Boyd Johnson III, Braun would have only spoken when advised to; however, he offered information about himself his girlfriend doesn’t even know. The sample may have not even been Ryan’s. Braun offered to take a DNA test to prove himself, but nooo. MLB denied his offer. Why? Were they scared to find out their process is flawed? “I am a victim of a process,” Braun said. A process that has been searching and searching for reasons to punish him.

But seriously, people. You don’t know what happened. Nobody but Braun does. At least give him a chance. Let’s get real. Just because he’s an amazing athlete means he’s guilty for any reason you make up and want to believe? Maintain your arrogance and feel better about yourself, I guess. I wouldn’t know how that feels. America is a land of innocence until proven guilty. Not the other way around. Braun has and always will be considered innocent. Remember that.

All right, so since we all agree Braun is completely innocent, and Dino Laurenzi Jr. is just an attention-whore, lets move on and get to the good stuff. In other Brewers news, … well. We’ll get to that once the media moves on and respects the decision. Get Real.

- Josiah Spindler

2/29/12 at 12:30 AM

#news

It's official, we're official. Brew Crew Ball officially recognizes Brew Balled!

#multimedia

Why Is It Taking So Long?

Everyone is asking. Why is it taking so long?

Well everyone, the answer is quite clear. At least to any individual with the slightest bit of noledge. Oh, that's not how you spell an equivalent of power? Whatever.

MLB is taking FOREVER to announce the outcome of Ryan Braun's hearing, and the reason is obvious. How do you tell 5 billion fans that your drug testing program works flawlessly and that someone slipped some whiskey (i.e. manhood, i.e. testosterone (or negative of the other, feminine hormone)) into one of the game's greats' urine sample? How do you say Ryan Braun tested positive for a super high amount of SYNTHETIC testosterone and that there is no room for error in the testing process and that he will play on opening day, all in the same sentence? Easy, MLB. I just did it two sentences ago.

Clearly something happened. If this was the HIGHEST level of the big-T that has ever been recorded in a drug test, and things were normal in the second test that RB asked for and took two weeks later, clearly Babe Ruth must have hit a time and space altering home run that switched the urine samples of #8 and eleven radioactive mammoth from 2 B.C.

Look. If Ryan said what he said, told TMZ that it was 'bs,' and comfortably wore the hairstyle that he did during his response video of being awarded the NL MVP, he didn't, knowingly, do anything wrong. And that could prove to be the kicker, knowingly. But the man is not dumb. He just isn't.

Major League Baseball is in the midst of fabricating what is sure to be a truly mystifying story, and I can't wait to hear it.

In the meantime, let's give Braunie another NL MVP award and pre-crown him the MVP of the All Star Game in Kansas City. Just sayin'.

-Zachariah Spindler

2/13/12 at 11:00 PM

#news

Brew Balled: Episode 100 (Intro)

This is the very first Brew Balled podcast. We talk about what Brew Balled hopes to accomplish, as well as whatever else you can talk about during an offseason. Sorry that Josiah's microphone was set at such a lower level than Zach's. But that's why you do an intro podcast. Thanks for listening!

#podcast

Alex Rodriguez's 600th home run from the perspective of a Milwaukee Brewers fan. Listen for the kid yelling, "A-Roid!" Can you feel the tension between him and the Yankees fans? Haha. Don't really like the man. But it was a cool moment.

#multimedia

We can be reached through a variety of mediums. If you have any questions about the crew that you'd like us to answer, suggestions to make the show better, or just want to let us know how much you like/dislike the show, consult the following:

Email: [email protected]

Twitter: @BrewBalled

Facebook: Brew Balled (Like our page while you're there!)

Our Mission

We love the Brewers. Our mission is to give the casual fan some insight on the team in a highly, highly entertaining manner. Spring training is just weeks away, and we couldn't be any more giddy.

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Brew Balled