Wannabe Writer

[just-shower-thoughts]

Using your neighbor’s WIFI isn’t stealing because the signal is invading your home, which is private property.

[thoughtsoftheshower]

Dogs are always ready to party. You can act like something really good just happened and your dog instantly start celebrating too even if he have no idea why.

[bri-rm73-blog]

Emotional Manipulation

I just felt the need to put this out there. I cannot stand people that manipulate others emotionally. Maybe it's not something that truly has to be said, considering that most people would agree with this statement, but I've seen it lately, experienced it, and I'm really to the point where I am done with it. Some people do this in a passive aggressive manner, telling people what they know they would hate to hear. They move in and attack your insecurities. It's not even outright, it's simple little comments that you can't shake for hours after you hear them. It's tiny little remarks that mean more when you over think them that night while staring up at your ceiling. It's knowing that last week this person was your best friend and now they spend every second tearing down your self esteem. Once you finally get the courage to try and cut them out of your life, they show you why you need them, what it was that made you fall for them in the first place. They show you the emotional support that they know you crave. They assure you that they were just kidding and that you don't have to be so sensitive, that if they really felt that way that they would have cut you out of their lives so long ago. Deep down you know it's not true. The lies are so blatant that even the most oblivious of people could see through them. The worst part? You listen. You know what they're doing, but you listen. You go along with it because despite the fact that deep down you know this is wrong, there's always that small part of you that is afraid that maybe everything they've said is right. Maybe they were correct in stating that you are annoying. Perhaps it is true that you've gained weight and it's unattractive. The people around may very well be talking about you behind your back at all times. Maybe this person is your only chance at not being alone and maybe you are in fact, overreacting. Even worse, you reach your breaking point and you leave them. You go through with cutting them out. They can't talk you out of it anymore. You're happy for a while until you get a phone call: they're sorry. They have no idea what it is that they're sorry for, but they apologize. They tell you that they need you more than anything and that without you there is no point. That's when the guilt sets in, when they tell you their plans. You can hear the faint sobs as they describe their plan to end it all. So you rush over there and learn that there never was any plan. And the cycle starts over, not because you think it's your fault and that maybe there was some truth to what they said when they told you they wanted to die, but because you know there's a chance that they might go through with it next time and you cannot live with that on your conscience.

[bob-belcher]

[bri-rm73-blog]

Relationship Goals

The one manager I like, she often talks about her husband. They sort of remind me of Bob and Linda Belcher on Bob’s Burgers. They are actually role models for the relationship I want to have with my significant other someday.

The other day she was talking about how lucky she was to have her husband. It started with the remark that she doesn’t like the way he does the laundry. Apparently he can’t fold and he mixes up their daughters’ clothes with each other and it causes some slight chaos between them. But she did mention that she is glad he does it when she can’t and she adores the fact that he does it because he loves her.

His job is a lot more flexible than hers and instead of complaining about her not being able to share the chores fifty-fifty, he does what she can’t on her busy days and she does what he can’t on his busy days. I know that sounds like what it should be and what marriage is truly about, but you don’t always see that. I hear some others talk about how annoying their spouse can be or how they’re running themselves ragged because their significant other refuses to do certain things.

Meanwhile, these two are over here planning trips together (they each made a list of places they want to see and they go back and forth between the lists), and taking each other to events, and putting up with each other’s hobbies and such. He even makes sure to come in and see her at work and she takes lunch to him on her days off so that they can eat together.

I know it’s a little odd to be going on about someone else’s relationship, but they’re cute! And honestly, they give me some slight hope. This isn’t some couple from a tv series or a book, they’re actual people I know. This is real. This is something I can have for myself someday, and I’m excited for that.

[thoughtsoftheshower]

It’s not procrastinating if you planned to procrastinate ahead of time.

[everythingfox]

Everything on hold ‘til fox says so

[dylan-obrien]

[bri-rm73-blog]

Loyalty in the Work Place

I overheard someone make a statement today, that millennials are not loyal to companies, but to people. As one myself, I have to agree. To me it simply makes sense that this would be the case and I cannot see how it could be the other way around, at least, I couldn’t until I thought about it.

The baby boomers worked for companies that gave them great benefits such as great health care and wages that they could actually live off of and support an entire family with. Companies used to take care of people. People were not having to work two or three jobs just to barely afford to live. People were not having to just hope that they weren’t sick because they could not afford a trip to the doctor.

Now, people are struggling not only to pay for insurance, but for small things like buying food and gas for their car. Companies do not care about anyone. Employers and employees are more rivals than anything in the workforce anymore.

We are loyal to people because that’s all we have. I work for a manager and an assistant manager, and you know what? My assistant manager is great. I love her. I would come in early and stay late for her. I truly would. I do whatever I can to help her out because she treats us like actual people. She goes out of her way to help us out. My actual manager on the other hand, the one that’s truly in charge of the place, I do not care too much for her. She takes advantage and does whatever she wants. I don’t really care to go out of my way to make her look good. If she’s not going to help me, why should I help her? Why should I exhaust myself for someone who barely knows who I am or what I’m doing? Why should I make sure that things get done for her when I know for a fact that she will not stick around and help us when we need it?

I do not make very much money, especially not for what I do. And I certainly do not get great insurance or anything like that. There is no real reason for me to go out of my way for the company. All I have is that one assistant manager that actually cares. So of course I will pick being loyal to her over the company itself.

[erebussociety]

[everythingfox]

Long boy

📷: Judylynl Malloch

[bri-rm73-blog]

I want to start out by explaining that I do have anxiety - bad. I get random panic attacks for no reason. I have these thoughts that no one likes me sometimes even though there’s clear evidence that suggests otherwise. People like me, they really do. My parents love me, so does my sister. My friends ask me to hang out with them.

My main problem right now is that I feel as though I’m being taken advantage of. My boss, she expects certain things of me, as any boss does. I’m one of the only people that actually shows up and works. I mean, I could be wrong, I could suck at my job. I could possibly have some sort of martyr complex thing going on. Either way, she’ll write in for me to come in early when I’m already working nine hours without asking. She will scold me for tiny things when others get away with hell. She doesn’t appreciate the fact that I go out of my way to make sure that my tasks get done and that customers get helped and that my coworkers aren’t short staffed and screwed over. She asks me to stay late when she knows I can’t, but also knows that I can’t say no. That’s my fault, I know, but still.

I am going through some stuff right now, my emotions are a little out of control. That could very well be the cause of this distress. The worst part is that I feel like I can’t even stand up for myself. If I say something I’m just another pansy millennial sick and tired of not getting everything handed to them. If I don’t say anything then I hate myself for allowing someone to walk all over me. I simply cannot win.

I’m stuck in this rut and there is nothing that I can do about it. I want to leave, to get another job, but I can’t. I love a good portion of my co-workers. I don’t want to stop working with them, they are the reason I show up everyday. They are the ones that make some of the worst days bearable. Besides that, I feel like I am letting them down if I just leave. I really don’t want to do that to them. I just don’t know what I need I guess. Or perhaps I do, I’m just too scared to do it.