āI used to carve lines into my skin and watch the blood spill out. I used to cry myself to sleep and wake up more tired then when I went to bed. I used to rock back and forth on the bathroom floor waiting for someone to notice how long I was in there/ I used to take cold showers to remind myself that I was still alive. I used to pray to God that He would let me die so I didnāt have to hurt anymore. Depression is not beautiful.ā
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