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Berjuang berusaha

Okey, kemarin tepatnya 10 september 2020. Hasil perjuangan jalur mandiri PTN terakhir yg aku ikuti menandakan lolos setelah 9x penolakan PTN jalur snm-sbm-prestasi-mandiri. Alhamdulillah wa syukurilah. Akhirnya yaaa keterima. Padahal sore nya sempet zoom meeting untuk cari beasiswa di PTS deket rumah. Interesting, jurusan yang diidamkan dan bisa dapetin beasiswa 100% sampe lulus.

Okey nanti bisa diatur dan daftar buat tahun depan. Pikirku saat itu.

Malamnya, ngecek pengumuman mandiri di PTN. Gak expect sama sekali karena udah pupus harapan. Udah mati rasa. Bener-bener gak harap. Udah planning buat gap year dan kejar beasiswa di PTS tadi. Tapi, tetep aja deg- deg an. Pas ngecek ga muncul-muncul ternyata salah nomor dan jam 11 malam baru ngecek. Alhamdulillah, keterima di pilihan pertama. Senang? Iya. Akhirnya perjuangan dan usaha selama ini berbuah hasil. Langsung kasih tau keluarga.

Ibu langsung bilang "Bayar berapa jadinya?"

Heumm...Awalnya senang jadi ya hambar karena langsung kepikiran gimana mau bayar nominal 2 digit dan tenggak waktu pembayaran cuma 2 hari.

Hari ini, langsung kasih tau berapa-berapa yang harus dibayar dan selama beberapa semester kedepan kena berapa.

Dan malam ini saudara telpon ke ibu, kalo pembayaranku mungkin bisa lebih murah daripada yang seharusnya. Lah, mana bisa jelas-jelas disitu tertera nggak bisa turun. Kesel karena sok tahu tapi inget ini sodara sendiri.

Gatau ya, rasa bersyukur juga ada karena keterima,

Rasa bersalah juga ada karena gak lolos snm-sbm yang kalo bayar gak usah pake uang pangkal alias lebih murah,

Rasa kesal juga ada karena capek banget euy sodara selalu bandingin sama anaknya yang bisa dapet harga lebih murah,

Rasa sedih ada,

Tapi gppa semoga diri ini bisa mengerti kadang hidup gak boleh terlalu bahagia karena setelah kebahagiaan terbit kesedihan.

Hidup harus bersyukur karena gimanapun juga selalu ada kesempatan.

Makasih, Ya Allah. Kamu beri aku kesempatan untuk menjadi mahasiswa PTN

11 september 2020

Gk tahu harus senang atau sedih.

Harus bersyukur diberi kesempatan

Tapi kayak ya sedih aja

Semoga lancar sampai nanti

udashidiq-deactivated20250113

Sebisanya Saja

Prinsip dasar dalam menjalankan perintah Allah ada pada batasan: semampunya, kalau ngga bisa ya gapapa

Allah tidak membebani seseorang melainkan sebatas kemampuannya (QS. 2:286)

Maka bertakwalah kamu kepada Allah sesuai dengan kemampuanmu (QS. 64:16)

Pertanyaan untuk diri kita sebenarnya, sudah berapa besar kita berikan kemampuan dan usaha kita, kira-kira kita sudah melakukan yang terbaik?

Kalau berat, ya sebisanya saja :)

Allah kelak akan memberikan kelapangan setelah kesempitan (QS. 65:7)

Hadiah

Ya Allah, pengen ngasih ibu sama bapak hadiah, anaknya si bungsu diterima di PTN tahun ini 2020. Lancarkanlah.

AAMIIN YA ROBBAL ALAMIN.

Waktunya bangkit

INI WAKTU NYA BERJUANG BUAT MERAIH.

Semoga Allah membukakan jalan untuk perjuanganku,

Semoga hati ini dijauhkan dari iri dengki dan amarah,

Semoga otak ini selalu mendukung dan terasah,

Semoga doa orang tuaku selalu mengiringi langkahku,

Semoga badanku mau bergerak,

Semoga perjuangan ku selalu ikhlas dalam melibatkan-Nya

Aamiin ya robbal alamin

[setelah menulis yg dibawah, skrg sadar kalo apa-apa harus melibatkan Allah, orang tua, dan diri sendiri yang kokoh]

Sabtu, 11 april 2020

Sudah 2 hari semenjak snm.

Waktu sudah tahu kalau dinyatakan tidak lolos menjadi maba jalur snm, rasanya biasa saja. Gk kecewa bahkan gk sedih sama sekali. Karena dari awal sudah menahan diri untuk tidak berharap terlalu tinggi.

Tapi, pagi ini jam 1 lebih hati dan otak rasanya semrawut.

Takut gagal saat sbm

Atau

Ikut daftar beasiswa di PTS yang jauh dari kota kelahiran

Atau

Gap year dulu aja, nanti ambil scholarship di LN

Atau

Takut mengecewakan orang tua karena sudah berharap anak bontotnya ini sekolah di PTN

Atau

Besok sbm pilihnya gk muluk muluk, tapi impian menjadi maba Univ Brawijaya

Tapi otak bilang, "masa gini udah nyerah? Kalo mau ya diperjuangkan,"

Dan disini aku masih bingung harus bagaimana menuruti kata hati atau otak.

Atau tetap mengejar impian menjadi mahasiswi di Univ Brawijaya.

Terlalu banyak pikiran yg berkecamuk sampai bingung huuhuu.

Harus yakin bisa, usaha dan percaya bisa raih. Aamiin ya robbal alamin.

BISMILLAHIROHMANIROHIM, YANG TERBAIK PASTI ADA JALANNYA.

#bingung

Tak tahu

Sore leleh

Malam ambyar

Let me go.

It's hard for me,

It's hurt too,

But, i will try.

Terbit

Senyum mu terbit kembali,

Terima kasih sudah memberikan nya hari ini

mymodernmet

Illustrator Perfectly Captures How an Introvert Likes to Spend the Weekend

journalsanctuary

Hey! I am really late with this, but I though that some of you might like to see how I make my monthly spreads. I did this sort of “infographics” (??? am I even allowed to call this thing infographics??) and even though it looks like this, I had so much fun making it :D. I really don’t know whether this is helpful or not, I tried. In case you’d like to see more tutorials (and hopefully better ones) in the future, let me know please? And thanks if you read it till the end, it’s so long :D

(I totally ran out of space for pictures at the end lol)

noodledesk

i love this !!!

kalesbug

Trying to find something to motivate myself and I found this little line from Van Gogh

vomitingwords

Imagine there’s billion of people sitting around thinking that life shouldn’t happen this way. Holding their own worlds inside their minds. Creating an imagination of how good life must be. And then there’s another billion walking throughout the day—working hard just to survive and sleep their exhaustion at night. People who did a cycle they love—and secretly hate at the same time. But I know you’re thinking that there’s still another billion of people looking for love. Who never surrender on finding and hoping for a romantic relationship that would lasts. People who keep on pushing themselves up just to reach a dream they always wanted from the very start. There’s also billion of people who are still wondering what they want in life. People who are still trying to figure out which way should they cross. And which place they are going to call home. Billion of people are loving each other. Sharing moments and making memories they want to remember later on. People who already found someone who they can share their secrets forever. You see, I am not sure what another billion of people is doing now. Maybe they are asleep and dreaming their hearts out. Maybe they are awake—wondering why happiness doesn’t come at their doors. Maybe they are out there, confused of what they should really do. And so the last billion—the people who will tell you a lot of things about their experiences. People who can tell you what truly it feels to live, and to die even if you’re still breathing. People who never get tired of telling their stories even if other people think nobody are listening. People who will tell you the wrong things you shouldn’t do, and remind you of the right things you should do. Yet in the end they will end up telling you that you make your own story, so do whatever it is that feels right for you. I don’t know exactly how many people are here. But I am sure that each— billion—has different stories—to tell , and has the same lessons for them—to share.

ma.c.a // I counted all the feelings, And it was not accurate (via vomitingwords)

❤️💙💙

yellowtonin

ms-mazarin

Words to replace said, except this actually helps

I got pretty fed up with looking for words to replace said because they weren’t sorted in a way I could easily use/find them for the right time. So I did some myself.

IN RESPONSE TO Acknowledged Answered Protested

INPUT/JOIN CONVERSATION/ASK Added Implored Inquired Insisted Proposed Queried Questioned Recommended Testified

GUILTY/RELUCTANCE/SORRY Admitted Apologized Conceded Confessed Professed

FOR SOMEONE ELSE Advised Criticized Suggested

JUST CHECKING Affirmed Agreed Alleged Confirmed

LOUD Announced Chanted Crowed

LEWD/CUTE/SECRET SPY FEEL Appealed Disclosed Moaned

ANGRY FUCK OFF MATE WANNA FIGHT Argued Barked Challenged Cursed Fumed Growled Hissed Roared Swore

SMARTASS Articulated Asserted Assured Avowed Claimed Commanded Cross-examined Demanded Digressed Directed Foretold Instructed Interrupted Predicted Proclaimed Quoted Theorized

ASSHOLE Bellowed Boasted Bragged

NERVOUS TRAINWRECK Babbled Bawled Mumbled Sputtered Stammered Stuttered

SUAVE MOTHERFUCKER Bargained Divulged Disclosed Exhorted

FIRST OFF Began

LASTLY Concluded Concurred

WEAK PUSY Begged Blurted Complained Cried Faltered Fretted

HAPPY/LOL Cajoled Exclaimed Gushed Jested Joked Laughed

WEIRDLY HAPPY/EXCITED Extolled Jabbered Raved

BRUH, CHILL Cautioned Warned

ACTUALLY, YOU’RE WRONG Chided Contended Corrected Countered Debated Elaborated Objected Ranted Retorted

CHILL SAVAGE Commented Continued Observed Surmised

LISTEN BUDDY Enunciated Explained Elaborated Hinted Implied Lectured Reiterated Recited Reminded Stressed