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i really don’t come on here hardly at all anymore but if we have been ~internet friends~ on here and you want to follow my insta or something, send me a msg on here (or reply to this post) and i’ll send you my username. whenever i check my messages on here. i get on for a couple minutes maybe once a week so i’ll see it.....eventually

#i do not dabble in the realm known as twitter

i see its value as a way to explain chronic fatigue/illness/depression/etc and how you have to carefully spend your energy on select tasks. i manage this every day of my life and i have to be careful not to overdo it. but i fucking hate "spoon theory" !! like the concept behind it is solid, of having a limited amount of x to use on tasks but why is it fucking spoons. how many fucking spoons does a person use in their day. i have NEVER encountered an actual spoon shortage in my life unless we have really neglected the dishes. if you find yourself running out of genuine spoons that often you can buy more. they are abundant and dirt cheap at the thrift store if money is a problem. WHY IS IT FUCKING SPOONS I HATE IT

#ppl like talk to me about it so much cuz i have chronic illness am prob autistic and have some mental illness!#but im not fucking using quote spoons on anything i am using ENERGY and ppl can think of a better analogy #just like who fucking created this and why did the terminology of spoons have to get so popular #why. is. it. spoons.#it just feels so cutesy to me like many other explanations of autism and chronic illness made palatable to nts and well people

cool-guy-1000

Monkey musical

valtsv

i've never heard the words to any of my favorite songs who the fuck even does that. i just vibe with the sounds coming out of the people and instruments and then look them up on azlyrics so i can figure out what the hell is actually going on like god intended.

valtsv

meloblivion

Otumeel with melons

nicolezaridze

smooch

read the entire series here

to the point where I'm having an existential crisis every day or 2 when i start thinking too much about working full time and how it is eating away my entire life :) how the fuck do people handle their entire lives being dominated by work without being in a constant crisis? let me know :)

I spent 13 dollars on a smoothie PLUS delivery tip so 17 dollars but like........is good..........

#from some bougie ass place where every smoothie is over 10 dollars #but i needed somethin easy to digest w protein powder and did not have the energy to make my own! so!#this is great tho it's like creamsicle flavor.....#it's like that kinda place where i #a person who has been going to health food stores and on the tangents of that movement for YEARS #dont even recognize like 25% of the addins for smoothies

lord people HAVE to stop naming animals they're getting rona after the virus. stop!!

#it's just so dumb and like a tribute to something that doesnt need a tribute #they're like it's to remember when i got her :) like youll fucking remember anyways #u dont need to curse them with a terrible name

I get two separate recurring dreams (not exactly the same each time but the same basic things happen), every few months or so.

In one, i find out that somehow, i didn't ACTUALLY finish high school and i have to go back for 1 semester to get my missing credits done. I get to school, and i have fully forgotten my schedule. I try to find it online, and give up and go to the office (to ask) or the photography classroom to see my old teacher. I am always the same level of woefully unprepared (not like me), but my reaction to this varies.

In the other, i walk into the living room of the house i lived in from 10-22 (moved out of it about a year and a half ago). For context - we had a saltwater fish tank there, and a couple times fish jumped out the tiny hole in the lid and i found them dead and dried up on the floor. Anyways i walk into the living room and see fish swimming around in the air because they've jumped out of the tank. I know they're drying up so i run around trying to catch them and put them back in the tank. I can never get them all.

Anyone wanna tell me wtf this means !!

#interesting my brain has chosen these 2 things......#high school kinda makes sense cuz i hated it so fuckin much but I've been graduated 6 years now!!#fish one i have no clue. i try to take good care of my animals and do my best for them but like ??

i have to wake up at 6 am for work now and just. why do people fucking live like this. why is this how our society works. WHY

#i cry almost every single morning lmao like i NEVER wake up feeling ok anymore #no matter how early i go to bed i just melt down every single fucking mornibg #6 am is TOO EARLY THIS IS INHUMAN

ok. i’m really thinking about getting a reptile of some sort. after doin some research i’m thinking probably a leopard gecko......they’re adaptable, don’t require a huge enclosure (i’m not sure if they would need 20 or 30 gallon first just for a solo one - most sources say 10-20 and some say 30 so i’m thinking......20???? gotta research more). i WANTED a tortoise but even the smallest ones (around 6 inches) require SO MUCH space and i cannot adequately provide for them. then was lookin at a blue tongue skink or bearded dragon but they also require a lot of space - more than i can fit right now.

i have room for a 20-30 gal terrarium, and if i save up for a couple paychecks i can fully afford a decked out enclosure and the lizard itself. SO.............lizard may be coming..........in a bit............

facebook strangers referring to me as "fren" offends me more than it probably should

#like oh my god type the whole word but also i am not your friend i am an internet stranger!#snd i am ESPECIALLY not your fren ohhhhhhhh my god #that word makes me cringe

i had a dream last night that i FINALLY got a pet tortoise. woke up this morning......no tortoise

disappointing.

i woke up at 6 fucking am today WHY DO PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS

#this is torture !!!!!! i went to bed early last night and im still tired even tho i got like 9 hrs of sleep #because waking up at 6am is WRONG IM NOT A FUCKING FARMER WHO HAS TO DO ALL MY DAYS WORK #AFORE THE SUN GOES DOWN AND THE WOLVES COME OUT #IM A FUCKING OFFICE WORKER WE HAVE LIGHTS

i'm back at work and as of tomorrow (shoulda been as of when i restarted yesterday cuz i had to leave early both days) i have to work AN HOUR EARLIER from 7:30-4. warehouse has limited hours cuz there isn't much business due to the virus and i have to leave when they do so the security alarm can be set. I have to wake up at 6 fucking am now. i screamed in my car on the way home

#i hate waking up early it is so unnatural for me to wake up THAT early i feel like shit no matter how early i go to bed #i feel best wakin up around 8:30-9 but o my god

petersolarz

Photography by Peter Solarz

magic brew

petersolarz

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