Brocedes Lore

[academicblorbo]

Ilya meeting Shane's parents must be insane for them like. Mr Ilya "The Terminator" Rozanov, terror on ice and menace in bed, politely stands there. Your very shy son admonishes him for using the word "lovers" and Russia's Greatest Rage Machine just takes it.

You ask when this started and Mister Dickhead makes sure Shane is accurate about when they started this. How dare you stave off half a year of us, Shane?

You ask if they talked to Scott Hunter and Ra Ra Rasputin says that he, famous asshole extraordinaire went to talk to Patron Saint of Hockey Gays to offer him congratulations.

You ask if he has no loyalty to Boston and Mr Fucking Fuck San Francisco is like. Nyet

Your son is having a panic attack and Miike Snow Genghis Khan calls them "boyfriends" and it's your own extremely shy and sensitive and loving son that is like MY WHAT

[hitmehardnsweet]

this is the funniest image anyone has ever put in my head

[meret118]

I was surprised to see several people taking Ilya's comment about Shane's weak backhand at face value. I think he was being sarcastic, and the opposite is actually true. Especially if his abilities are modeled on Sidney Crosby. That's the way I heard it.

[apitnobaka]

hollanov, it seems i've grown quite fond of you

[brocedesstuff]

Why does nico keep on torturing himself and me!!!!!!!

[brocedesstuff]

omg thank u for the brocedes vid 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ it was INSPIRING

[brocedesstuff]

Why don't they just shoot me 37 times in the head!!!!!!! Would be less painfull then whatever the fuck this is!!!!!!

[fryingthepans]

first tumblr drabble, this video grabbed my brain violently and shook it around and here is the result:

(under the cut)

Nico won the championship. 

Nico won the motherfucking Formula 1 World Championship. 

Nico won the motherfucking Formula 1 World Championship after two whole years of being second-best. 

He should be over the moon. He should have already ascended past the atmosphere. He should be rising above the masses like a benevolent fucking god. 

And yet. 

Here he remains—knees hitting solid Earth, hands firmly planted on either shoulder. He watches the retreating back, jogging slowly at first, then rapid—arms swinging wildly and T-shirt flapping mockingly in the wind. He tries again to stand, to embrace his deification with none of the humility of a champion, and with all the humiliation of someone about to run after the man he just beat.  The hands remain holding him down. 

He suppresses the hurt that wants to paint his face like an egg yolk and smiles for the camera flashes. He dutifully opens his mouth for the champagne that the team sprays at him. It is acrid down his throat, nauseatingly sweet liquid sloshing down his esophagus. He wishes it were straight vodka instead. He is transported back to 19 years old—a bar with glasses filled to the brim with dreams, distinctly lacking the bitter hangover of defeat. At the shitty hole-in-the-wall bar, he’d had a companion. After winning the World Driver’s Championship, where he could have his pick of just about anyone, there is a conspicuously empty space next to him. 

It doesn’t matter. 

Nico repeats it like a mantra. It doesn’t matter. Because he’s won the championship. And his shot glass is drained empty and dreams roll down his throat and the burning flow of broken promises cannot dampen the buzz that’s already hitting.

[brocedesstuff]

Why don't they just shoot me 37 times in the head!!!!!!! Would be less painfull then whatever the fuck this is!!!!!!

[brocedesstuff]

Imagine lewis and nico getting into elevator at their apartment at same time. Nico is with his daughters and lewis is with a gf or on his way to next gp. Both leading a entire different lives joined only a thread broken friendship and a entire childhood worth of memories.

[brocedesstuff]

Do you guys think that sometimes lewis and nico eat frosties just to remember the other one and how much fun they had together and how they can never get that back????

[nikisdaughter]

Sometimes I think a lot about all that desperation Ayrton truly started to feel when he realized Alain wasn’t going to be his teammate anymore. In this case, it really sank in once the retirement was announced.

Froissard recalls that Ayrton Senna was completely lost in 1993, when Prost announced he would leave the tracks at the Portuguese GP. “The day after Prost’s official retirement announcement, we had a meeting at his house in Portugal. Ayrton Senna wasn’t helpless, but he was a little lost. He was losing his bearings and didn’t really know who he would be dueling against.”

What I mean is: what if he was desperate/happy/comfortable with the idea of teaming up with Alain again, even after everything, because he wanted to “try again”? I mean, try to be a friend. It’s pretty obvious he was still in shock with the whole situation in Adelaide, like: “My God, he really is going to retire… it’s not like ’92, he’s really leaving this time.” That triggered something in him that he wouldn’t have done years before — reaching out, trying to talk to Alain somehow. Many people say those calls, or that approach, were just for advice — of course, Alain had been in that car the year before, and of course Ayrton would ask for help. But that’s such a surface-level interpretation, when it’s clear just by the way Alain talks about it that it was MUCH more than that — things Ayrton confided only to him.

After Adelaide, Alain said Ayrton was the first to call him, two days later, already starting with the talk about him coming back, since he knew about the McLaren tests. And from there, everything began. Then we had Bercy, where Ayrton had the chance to be next to Alain again. The caption of that photo with Adriane and the prosennas said the following:

“(...) The Brazilian star then smiled at his arch-rival Alain Prost. They chatted and said something that made them laugh. The laughter wasn’t for the cameras at the Palais Omnisports in Paris-Bercy. They had definitely put their quarrels and mutual differences behind them. For the first time, they both had natural chemistry, without any personal interest.”

Alain Prost, Adriane Galisteu and Ayrton Senna. 1993

And of course, we can’t forget Damon’s testimony and all the photos and videos that prove what he said.

So, the calls kept coming, in a more “Ayrton wanting to be Beco” kind of way with him (probably Beco would have come out if he had lived), leaving "Senna" behind. Ayrton’s “I’m sorry” came in a different way — through explanations about the previous years, through personal secrets, laughing and being happy with Alain about the idea of being the driver of his future team, and several “I miss you, come back.” And all of it explained by Alain himself with a smile on his face whenever he recalls it. He himself says those are the memories of Ayrton he wants to keep until the end. And another nice thing is that no one needs to point a finger at Ayrton saying he “didn’t apologize properly,” because in the way he did apologize, Alain understood it perfectly. Just look at the interview he gave Rosberg.

We have those six months where Ayrton made a point of calling more than once a week, to talk to Alain about serious matters but also to laugh about other things (like the “future Prost GP”), and those laughs didn’t even start on the phone — they began at Bercy. Just as the text and the photo show.

The Frenchman recounts that, before Ayrton’s death in Imola, the former rival called him. "He shared very personal secrets. Things that I will never reveal. He spoke to me as if he were talking to his best friend. I felt both proud and unsettled at the same time." Prost said that Ayrton tried in every way to get him back into Formula 1. "He confided in me that he had always seen me as his target and that, in my absence, he no longer felt motivated. Our rivalry was very positive, in a way. We were the best enemies in the world. I told him that I would hire him as a driver the day I had my own team."

And then came that final weekend. Ayrton was so overwhelmed by all the situations crashing over him like a wave — from personal problems to issues with the car and the 1994 season — that the greatest comfort he sought that day was Alain.

He just wanted to be close, to try to fill that void that had been between them for years. Alain himself said he felt that — that a very vulnerable Ayrton only wanted his company. Which is funny, because he could have gone to eat with Berger and talk about those things, or with anyone else there, but from the start of the day he only wanted Alain. As soon as he knew Alain was with TF1/Renault team, he didn’t wait a single second to see him. He was happy when Alain came to see him in the garage. And one of his very last words to someone were precisely to Alain — the phrase that, according to Alain, touched him the most: “A special hello to my dear friend Alain, we miss you.” Words Alain has already said Ayrton had told him in other forms: “Please come back.” “They don’t motivate me like you do.” and: “Yes, but I need you.”

And in the end, his death. He died carrying Alain in his heart as a friend, as someone he could entrust with his deepest secrets. Without a doubt, if that accident hadn’t happened, they would have fulfilled their promise to meet in Monaco to talk more. And there, there would have been more smiles — even more so after Alain had heard that message that moved him so deeply.

It’s funny that now we have Alain, who showed real concern over the “Brocedes” relationship, because he definitely doesn’t want them to go through what he and Ayrton did. The care he took when telling Nico that he hoped they could sort things out and be together again, and that after you get older you understand a lot more, says so much about how he thinks about all this. After telling Nico about the "happy ending" he had with Ayrton during those six months, he said he hoped Nico could experience the same with Lewis. And he was serious about it — he died inside after fate gave him only six months of affection between them.

"The death of Ayrton Senna also represents the death of a part of my life." (...) "I needed Ayrton just as much as he needed me."

All of this shows what the prosenna relationship was — what it meant, from beginning to end, to Ayrton and to Alain.

[brocedesstuff]

Fuck me!!!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[girlkisser13]

dating conrad fisher would include

• conrad is the kind of boyfriend who cherishes the quiet moments. he loves sitting with you on the beach in silence, just enjoying the sound of the waves and the comfort of your presence.

• while conrad struggles with his own emotions, he’s incredibly supportive when it comes to yours. he might not always know what to say, but he’s there to listen, hold you, and make sure you know you’re not alone.

• conrad quite evidently has trouble verbally expressing his emotions, so he does everything he can to show you just how much he loves you.

• he remembers the little things about you, like making sure to get your favorite type of muffins when he goes on his morning muffin runs.

• conrad isn’t overly flashy, but he’s thoughtful. you often find little notes in your books or your favorite snacks in your bag, left by him without a word. he knows what you love and makes sure to show it in small, meaningful ways.

• he's always touching you in some way, whether it’s resting a hand on your thigh while you sit together or holding your hand the moment you leave the house. he insists it’s so you don’t get lost in the crowd, but really, he just enjoys having you close to him.

• conrad is an avid reader, so he loves sharing books with you. he'll lend you his favorite novels, and it becomes a way for the two of you to connect on a deeper level.

• the two of you constantly exchange your favorite books and he enjoys getting to read the little notes that you make in the margins. it’s like a little window into your inner thoughts. he loves it.

• you definitely have an elaborate dance to a specific song that the both of you have learned and would do whenever you heard the song.

• susannah would purposely put the song on and beg the two of you to do the dance because she can’t get enough of the way he smiles as he spins you around.

• HIM LEARNING TO PLAY YOUR FAVORITE SONG ON THE GUITAR>>>

• he likes to listen to your favorite artist when he misses you because it reminds him of you, and that brings him comfort.

• conrad likes to create personalized playlists just for you. each song is carefully chosen to reflect your relationship. it's his way of expressing his feelings when words fall short.

• being by the ocean is conrad’s comfort zone, so many of your dates happen at the beach. whether it’s early morning walks, sunset picnics, or late-night swims, the beach is your special place together.

• he also loves going on late-night drives with you. with no destination in mind, you both just drive around, listening to music, talking, or enjoying the peaceful silence of the night.

• conrad isn’t overly expressive with his affection in public, but in private, he’s incredibly gentle and loving. soft kisses on your forehead, his arm casually draped over your shoulders, and holding your hand as you fall asleep are some of his favorite ways to show he cares.

• sometimes, the two of you don’t need to say anything to understand each other. you can read his mood by the way he looks at you, the way his voice sounds, and even his body language.

• there’s an unspoken connection between you two— a look, a touch, or simply being in each other’s presence is enough to communicate everything you need to know.

• conrad likes starting the day with a coffee run, and it becomes a small tradition for the two of you. whether it’s picking up coffee and pastries from a local shop or brewing it at home, it’s a simple way to start the day together.

• he’s a sucker for those quiet moments in the morning when no one’s up yet and it’s just the two of you. <33

[formula1au]

The Summer I Turned Pretty

Summary: Max starts watching tsitp because of you and he clearly likes it

Pairing: Max Verstappen x fem!reader

Content: fluff

It was finally summer break, and you and Max decided to spend the first week at home just chilling. Max was currently sim racing while you were getting ready to watch the show you had waited so long for — The Summer I Turned Pretty. Every girl was obsessed with it, and honestly, you were no exception.

After gathering all your favorite snacks, you flopped onto the couch and snuggled into a pile of blankets and pillows. You watched the first episode, then moved on to the second. Somewhere in between, Sassy jumped up on the couch and made herself comfortable — right in Max’s usual spot.

When you two watch something together, Max always sits there. Your first date was in this apartment, watching some awful romcom. You sat all the way on the left, Max in the middle, snuggled close to you. And ever since then, it’s always been like that. Old habits die hard.

By the time the third episode started — the last one available until Wednesday — you were crunching on chips when you heard Sassy hiss. Max had gently nudged her away.

“That’s my place, girl,” he said with a grin, and Sassy had already disappeared, probably off to find her brother.

“Hi, baby. Whatcha watching?” Max asked as he slid next to you and peeked at your laptop.

“It’s the show I told you about. The Summer I Turned Pretty. You know, the one I binge-read all the books for in a day,” you replied, still munching.

You watched in silence for a while — until Max started bombarding you with questions.

“Wait, why is her friend—uh, I forgot her name—mad at her for accepting the proposal? Jeremiah seems like a cool dude.”

You stared at him. “Okay, slow down. He is not a cool dude. He literally cheated on Belly twice and then proposed to her.”

Max’s eyes widened. “Okay… maybe he’s not that cool,” he mumbled.

A few minutes passed.

“That Conrad dude is so boring. Where’s his personality?” Max asked.

You turned to him, mock-offended. “Where’s your personality, Maxmad? You two are literally the same. If you watched the whole show, you’d get it.”

He paused. “Okay… uhm, and I saw somewhere that there are teams? Team Conrad and… that other dude?”

You sighed. “Team Conrad and Team Jeremiah. Max, you can’t even remember their names.”

“I just need to work on that,” he said, shrugging as the third episode played on.

Then, as the credits rolled, he looked at you. “Sooo… do you wanna start over? From season one?”

You raised an eyebrow at his red ears. “Someone’s starting to like it, huh?” you teased.

“Okay, but we need more snacks,” you added, “and you need to watch very carefully and pick the right team.”

“And what if I pick the wrong one?” he asked. “Wait—how is there a wrong team?”

“You’ll see,” you smirked.

Max opened his mouth to argue, but you beat him to it. “I’m Team Conrad, by the way. The dude with no personality.”

He laughed. “Then I’m gonna try my best to be Team Conrad too.”

“You’re kinda like him. No offense, but sometimes you look just as lost,” you said as he stood up to grab more snacks. He returned and plopped back down beside you.

“We’ll see about that,” he muttered, settling in again.

Let’s just say Max devoured the show — not that he ever admitted it. But you could see it in his eyes.

[besohappily123]

okay. so depressing thoughts ahead.

i know we love to joke that nico adores talking about lewis however he honestly doesn't. of course, once you get him to start talking about lewis he will not shut us. he does work nowadays as a professional yapper, i mean commentator. nico needs everyone to know everything, which i do appreciate. well, everything but the state of their current relationship (or lack thereof) - at that point he starts feeding us PR nonsense.

when we do get some brocedes lore handed to us it's usually cause nico was forced into a unpleasant conversation (spa 2025 being a prime example) or something happened and nico feels left out of the narrative (lewis not saying his name or lewis naming valtteri as his fav teammate).

usually if nico mentiones himself and lewis as a unit, it is to say that this is bad!! you do not want that situation in your team!! namely esteban and pierre in recent years. when asked if esteban and pierre can continue like that in 2022 if they hate each other, nico just said well, lewis and i did.

this weekend he actually went on to say that toto does not want a repeat of hamilton and rosberg with max and george. saying that max and george hate each other. like. i am sorry. but nico clearly thinks about lewis and himself mostly in relation to how bad it got. and it's heartbreaking to hear every single time. cause they are no longer pretending things got cold. nico clearly correlates 2016 with them hating one another. and that's a strong word.

and i think that would make sense after all. cuts to all the pictures of nico looking as if he were punched after being shown any content of lewis and himself.

lewis is luckier. he won't get asked as much about nico (for a few reasons - one of them being people not wanting to be killed by a stare from lewis). but lewis isn't over it either. he isn't over it at all. a person who is over this simply smiles at a colleague in passing, they don't do everything to not meet their eyes. they do not forget them whenever an opportunity arises, it's usually quite simple to just mention a matter in passing.

so yeah. um. honestly. all isn't that great in the brocedes world. they still both need help. like quite severe help.