Yes! I can see it happening like that, especially his fears of not being able to give that to Shane. I think you're right. But I also think Ilya misses sex for himself too, and even if the pills helped his energy level, not being able to get hard would make him depressed in and of itself for that reason, along with fears of how it would harm his relationship with Shane. I also think it would mess with his sense of self. "I'm glad I'm so easily replaceable Shane, but I am not okay being half a man!'
Depression can affect libido, so missing that plus the insecurity regarding Shane, might have been part of what drives him to therapy in the first place. (Plus he never wants Shane to go through what he did when his mother died.)
Going off path with this: He starts therapy and medication, and his energy level starts getting better, but his dick is still dead. That's when he learns about the side effects, and feels not only angry, but also like what's the point. He's damned if he does, and damned if he doesn't.
Maybe his therapist or Shane, because he's been researching trying to find an answer for Ilya, mention getting him into a psilocybin trial, and he's, "Yes, do that!" There are beaurocratic hoops to go through, or perhaps a waiting list, and he's feeling desperate.
Ilya's wealthy celebrity. He can get magic mushrooms. MLH drug testing is for performance enhancing drugs. They don't care about illegal substances. Hell, team doctors give out pain meds like candy. If they could do it with illegal substances too, he thinks they would. (I'm guessing and making this up on my very limited knowledge about the nhl.)
People who do this for medicinal purposes do it in conjunction with a therapist. They've discussed what they want to achieve during the treatment, and the therapist is there to guide them in case it goes badly. (Again, I'm just guessing with some of this.)
Ilya has none of this of course. He waits till Shane is gone for a day or so on a sponsorship thing, and has a bad trip. He doesn't answer his phone when Shane calls. Shane gets a bad feeling, and frantically leaves to come back, and finds him hallucinating about his parents.
Or even worse - maybe it lowers his inhibitions, and combined with a horrific trip he tries to end it. Shane finds him unconscious on the floor with pills and vodka. Ilya is appalled when he wakes up in the hospital. He never wanted to do that to Shane.
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