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and this isn't even getting into harm that's genuinely necessary! i read a book recently that was intended to educate people in healthcare about medical trauma, written by a medical professional who found that there weren't existing resources to help her cope with the aftermath of the extremely traumatic c section that saved her life. the whole tone of the book was "i know you've never thought about this before, but walk with me through this case study" and it's aimed at other medical professionals! it's aimed at the people who are doing this harm, and so many of them think that people aren't allowed to find it harmful just because it's necessary!

strictlyquadrilateral

so many trauma resources assume that your trauma is from a specific person or people who treated you in a way that society deems unacceptable. if your trauma doesn't fit that profile then you're left sitting there like. idk i dont think most of this stuff applies to me. where are the resources for people like me.

strictlyquadrilateral

if you were ever scared or in pain and were told that you had to grin and bear it because it's necessary for you to do the thing that scares and hurts you, you are allowed to say that that was traumatic. you are allowed to say that you were scared and in pain and that even if this was the least bad option, even if it was lifesaving, it still was not okay. something being necessary does not inherently make it okay.

strictlyquadrilateral

#i know this is not NEARLY the same thing#but i had to get braces against my will as a teen#i HATED them#i hated that i had them i didnt understand why i had to have them i loved my teeth how they were before#they hurt like a motherfucker and tore the shit out of my mouth#and the orthodontists never told me what they were doing to me or why#it sucked. it was awful.#unfortunately medically necessary i was never gonna get my canines because they were trapped in the roof of my mouth.#but this post feels kinda validating#because if i had any agency over myself i wouldnt have agreed to have braces#and wouldnt have agreed until someone explained the reasoning and process in a way i could understand (via @xx-riffraff-xx)

medical professionals love to not explain things to minors. i think it's because minors are functionally the legal property of their parents/guardians, and therefore treated as an extension of their parents/guardians rather than an entire separate person. therefore, if you explain the situation to the parents/guardians, and the parents/guardians understand and agree that it's necessary, it's simply not required to explain anything to the minor beyond "this is necessary".

your experience is the same thing. even if you weren't traumatized by it, you were still put at a higher risk of being traumatized because you were not given the support you needed to process and understand what you were going through. i believe the point of view that says "this is necessary, so it can't be harmful" is directly related to the point of view that says "this person is lesser than me, so i don't have to explain to them what i'm doing that affects them". they are both paternalistic thought processes that don't take into account the experience of the person being spoken over and acted upon.

#Trigger warning #Medical trauma

starofhisheart

Happy Pride 🌈

#Iwav

gaynehollander

Building on this. Shane fucks his ankle up a month or so before playoffs. He's not out for the season or anything but it's bad enough that he's placed on IR for at least a week and relegated to watching the Centaurs play without him.

After back-to-back losses the last two games, Shane is losing his mind. They're still doing well in the conference standings and their playoffs spot isn't at risk yet but the games were close and if Shane had been there it could have given the Cens the edge they needed.

He's frustrated and snappy and he fucking hates the fact that he's being made to walk around the house on crutches to spare his ankle. Eventually, Ilya calls him over to the couch from where he can hear him cursing the blender as he hobbles around, making his smoothie. Shane appears with his signature grumpy kitten look that immediately melts away as he takes in the siggt of Ilya with his cock pulled free from his shorts, resting heavy and hard in his hand.

"Get your clothes off. I have to watch tape of the last game and you're going to make it nice for me." So Ilya fingers him open and settles him on his cock, Shane's back to Ilya's chest, and they watch the entire game. Shane starts off by pointing out weaknesses that he notes on screen, Ilya humming and writing them down in his notes app, but as the game progresses Shane just gets lost in the delicious stretch of Ilya inside him. He lets his head loll back onto his shoulder, feeling full and at peace and settled. Occasionally Ilya lifts him up to add more lube, keeping him slick and open, but not really moving in him at all. He’ll occasionally let his hand trail down to Shane’s cock, just to give him a couple of strokes. Shushing Shane whenever a whine escapes his lips and stilling his hips when he unconsciously starts grinding down on Ilya, telling him to be still because he needs to focus on the game. When Shane finds it difficult to quiet himself ailya gived him a couple of fingers to suck on but keeps his attention mostly on the screen.

Of course they fuck nasty when the game is over but, for now, that'll have to wait.

#Heated Rivalry #The long game #The long game spoilers

derinthescarletpescatarian

#Ai

datgreenmonstah

Still in the works, but nearly done with this, then hopefully will have the tutorial up soon.

datgreenmonstah

Here’s how to make one for yourself

💬 0 🔁 31 ❤️ 56 · Here is the tutorial, I don’t get paid doing this and I’m not an expert at this so please don’t think I can answer everyt

pelicanhypeman

i cannot wait to do this, thank you!!

#Crafty #Pterodactyls

fictionalgod

I think Ilya loves rollercoasters etc, and one of the first places he wants to go in the US is disneyworld. He could happily spend two weeks in Orlando going there, and to the other amusement parks in the city. There are tons of pictures with him beaming with the characters in the parks, and he always insists on getting the picture the machine makes while they're on the rollercoaster. (Not sure about the timing, but he would refuse to go to the hp one after learning about jkr's hatred of trans people.)

My first thought was that Shane wouldn't like rides, but hockey it a fast moving, exciting game so maybe he would as long as he thought they were safe. He won't go on rides at state fairs for that reason, but figures the ones in Orlando are safe for healthy people. I think he would need a break from the crowds though. I can see them going back to the hotel in the middle of the day after lunch, (napping, lying by the pool, having sex or whatever), then going back out later.

ETA: My headcanon is Ilya's favorite pixar movie is Inside Out, (a movie about a hockey player who moves to a new city, and that feeling sad sometimes is okay too.), and his favorite disney movie is the original Lilo and Stitch. He hates the remake! "Nani would never leave Lilo! This is a crime against ohana!"

ETA2: This is the one ride Shane refuses to go on no matter where it is. "We are too big to be swung around fast only supported by small chains, Ilya!"

#Heated Rivalry

giveemhales

“Shane is Ilya’s nagging wife” this, “no, Shane is Ilya’s enabler” that. Actually you’re all wrong. He is both.

He loves when Ilya is a menace. “Asshole” is his favorite pet name for him and “fuck off” is basically dirty talk. Ilya wants to party with Centaurs after a game? “Go have fun babe.” Ilya is relentless chirping another player? “Well he didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.” Ilya wants to blow Shane while he’s on a phone call? We canonically know how that goes.

But he does not fuck around with his man’s health and safety. Ilya can into any mischief he wants until there’s a chance it could actually endanger him and that’s when Strict Shane has arrived. No, ilya cannot smoke cigarettes, Shane is not losing his man to lung cancer. Yes, Shane will lather Ilya up in sunscreen every summer and make him wear a daily SPF 50 moisturizer, Shane is not losing his man to skin cancer. He’s limiting his McDonald’s intake bc his man is not going to get heart disease. He’s making him get safer cars bc if Ilya dies from driving recklessly, Shane will bring him back to life just to kill him again. He wasted almost a decade not getting to be with Ilya the way he wanted and he’ll be damned if he lets anything (including Ilya) shorten their time together.

So now there’s this perception that Shane has Ilya on a tight leash. That he won’t let Ilya ever have fun and that Shane has domesticated him and Ilya is stuck under Shane’s thumb. Meanwhile Shane is actively egging Ilya on when he’s being a little shit. Shane is even bitchier and freakier than Ilya and it is so funny to Ilya that the world is so wrong about him.

It is not so funny to Ilya when someone tries to tell Shane to be less strict with Ilya. That is unacceptable. Ilya loves when his husband is citing statistics about lung cancer to him and making him his gross (healthy) smoothies and making sure he does the appropriate stretches before a workout and making him drink a glass of water in between drinks so he doesn’t get too hungover. Ilya has not had anyone who cared enough to “nag” him every day about his health (the closest was his mother but even then he often ended being the one who had to focus on her health). Shane being strict makes him feel so loved. He’s genuinely upset if Shane tries to “loosen his leash” bc Shane’s lectures are how he knows Shane cares. It’s proof that Shane wants forever with Ilya just as much as Ilya does.

Shane is both an enabler and a nagging husband. His only priority is a happy and healthy Ilya. And Ilya is exactly where he wants to be.

#Heated Rivalry

thejewellerybox

Flying Heron ring, 5th century BCE

Sapphirin intaglio by Dexamenos of Chios.

In the collection of The State Hermitage Museum, St Petersburg.

memories-of-ancients

Gold thumb ring set with emeralds and rubies, Mughal India, circa 1610 - 1620

from The Victoria and Albert Museum

drowninginredink

Apparently today is Loving Day, named after Richard and Milford Loving, the interracial couple whose lawsuit against the state of Virginia resulted in interracial marriage becoming legal in the United States. And so this day was made as a holiday for interracial relationships. I think that's very cool and deserves a tumblr post. Happy Loving Day to everyone in interracial relationships!