TW: panic attack, sensory overload (I can’t think of any other but if I miss any PLEASE TELL ME ASAP)
Are you nothing less from the moment you step into the chunkban, or are you nothing at all?
Wifies tries to move something. Anything. He can’t feel his own body. Is it because he’s numb? Is he standing, sitting, lying down, curled up in a ball, on his knees, or floating through space? It’s either exhaustion that makes it impossible to move, or the dense mass of the universe weighing him down.
He tries to look around with his eyes. All he sees is darkness. It could be the darkness of the void or the darkness behind his eyelids. Is he even conscious? He doesn’t know.
It’s silent. Dead silent. He tries to open his mouth. To scream. To cry. To beg for help. But nothing comes out. It’s quiet. So quiet. So horrifyingly quiet.
How long has it been? He thinks. It’s hard to think in this liminal space. How much longer until I lose my mind?
A sudden realization dawns on him, one that only makes him feel more trapped:
He knew it was going to be like this.
“It-it's fine. It’s fine to not know it, I just need you to tell me, is it worth—is it really worth it?”
He knew what chunkbans do to people. Rid people of their senses, their ability to know that they are a living, breathing organism—driving some people insane if they ever manage to get out.
“I mean I think you know what I’m gonna say.”
He knew how devastated Parrot would be. How much he would blame himself. How much he would regret it.
Wifies stops trying. Stops trying to move, breathe, think, or be the living creature he once was, because that part of him is gone. His senses and abilities as a human compressed into nothing.
He knows he’s not getting out of here. He won’t ever see the sun, feel cold river water rush past his fingers, the sounds of rustling grass dancing in the wind, the laugh and joyful shouts of his friends. He gave all of that up. For Parrot.
He’s stuck in this silence. Forever.
It sounded like… a shout?
It’s muffled, hard to understand.
His surroundings are suddenly overcome by noise—shouts, explosions, falling debris, footsteps, flowing lava. Each unit of sound reverberates around him, sending shockwaves through his entire body.
“Get him out! Get him out!”
“We gotta go! They’re coming back!”
A hot tingling feeling spread across his body. Hands slam into his shoulders, shaking him violently.
“Wifies! Wifies, bro! Can you hear me?”
Wifies feels himself suck in a breath, the hot, stuffy air burning his lungs, forcing him to cough a few times. The hard floor beneath him painfully digs into his shoulders. Movement feels impossible. He tries to pry his eyes open, but the blinding light forces him to squeeze his eyes shut.
“Parrot?” Wifies forces out, his voice hoarse.
“Yeah, yeah, it’s me.” Parrot laughs, relieved. “We’re gonna get you outta here, man.”
Parrot came back. He came back for him.
“Can you move at all?” Parrot questions. He’s no longer shaking Wifies, but gripping his shoulders tightly.
Wifies feels arms slip under his shoulders and knees, lifting him up. He can hear rapid, panicked breathing as he’s pulled into Parrot’s chest.
“Okay,” Parrot begins to walk. “Let’s get out of here.”
Suddenly, he stops. His breath hitches, heart beating faster against Wifies’ ear, body tense.
Seconds feel like hours as Parrot just stands unmoving. Through the noise, Wifies swears he can hear a quiet, manic laugh.
“Parrot?” Wifies rasps out. “Are you okay?”
There’s a pause before he receives an answer. “Yeah.” Parrot begins to move again. “Yeah I’m good.”
That’s a lie. Wifies knows. But he’s too out of it to question anything. He just lets out a small hum in response.
“Guys, I got him!” Parrot runs, hugging Wifies tighter to his chest. “We gotta go! We gotta go now!”
The air echoes with the sounds of chugging food, potions breaking, shoes slamming against the ground, sword slashes, shouts and curses. More sets of footsteps become audible as Parrot runs. Occasional panicked warnings thrown between the group.
Wifies isn’t used to this.
It’s all so much. So much of everything after nothing. The noise. The light. The smell of burning. Parrot squeezing Wifies to his chest. He wants to curl in on himself, cover his ears, and S C R E A M.
“I can’t,” he releases a quiet sob. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.”
Can’t what? Can’t function? Can’t handle it? Can’t bear the thought of living with EVERYTHING around him ALWAYS?
It's as if his brain is lagging. Screaming at his body to move, but no strength to do it. His breaths begin to come out in short, fast gasps. Chest painfully throbbing with his overwhelmed heart. Through the constant ringing in his ears, he can almost hear blood rushing through his veins.
Oh god, why does he have to be human? Why can’t he just be one of those animals that have a lack of hearing or feeling or anything.
He just wants it all to end.
Too much, too much, too much. So loud, so loud, SO LOUD—
“Can you still hear me?” Parrot heaves out, still running.
Wifies snaps back to reality. Everything seems to be more distant, quieter. The shouts and noises of the prison fade behind him. The numbness in his body fades completely, now throbbing with a painful tingling sensation. He feels the clothes on his skin, face pressed against Parrot’s shoulder. The fabric rubs against his skin like sandpaper, sending pain coursing through him. Shivers wrack his entire body. His breathing seems to only quicken, heart in his throat, head pounding.
It hurt. Hurts to move, to breathe. To exist.
A broken sob breaks out of him. “Parrot...”
“Wifies, it’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay.” Parrot sounds scared. “Try to hold on.”
The winged human starts running faster, footsteps reverberating in Wifies’ ears. He grunts, and jumps off the ground. Wifies jerks from the sudden harsh motion, pain coursing through his body.
The temperature drops, cold air rushing around them. The sounds of explosions and shouts are replaced by the beat of wings and distant fireworks set off, presumably by Parrot’s teammates. The blinding light fades, leaving behind a softer darkness.
They made it out. They’re out of the prison. He’s out of the chunkban.
But why isn’t he happy? Why doesn’t he feel… relieved?
Wifies expected himself to calm down. To feel safe. Instead, his breaths continue to come out in rattling gasps, his heart only banging louder in his ears. A steady ring pierces his ears. The world feels like it's spinning violently, despite his eyes still being squeezed shut. A wave of nausea washes over him as Parrot glides through the air. Even with the change to calming surroundings, it isn't enough. Not enough to calm a nervous system depleted of senses for so long.
“Parrot, Parrot.” Wifies tries to cover his ears, but his head lulls uselessly against Parrot’s shoulder, hands dropping down heavily. “I can’t, I can’t—”
“Wifies, what's wrong?” Parrot’s voice booms loudly. Too loud. “What’s going—?”
“Everything,” Wifies manages out between short, fast breaths. “Everything. I can’t—”
“Try to breathe, man,” Parrot says. “I’m gonna find a safe place to land.”
Wifies feels Parrot begin to descend, that familiar feeling of gliding running through his body. He tenses his muscles, trying to curl into himself.
Why? Why do I have to FEEL? Why can’t I just—?
Parrot’s boots slam onto solid ground. Wifies feels himself lowered onto the ground, his limbs falling heavily. A hand moves to the back of his head, holding it up. Another hand grabs his own, prying two fingers open, and holds them to the side of a neck.
“Wifies, focus on my pulse, yeah?” Parrot’s voice cuts through the overwhelming atmosphere. “Just focus on that. Breathe.”
Wifies struggles to find the rhythm, everything else drowning out the feeling of the avian’s pulse beneath his fingers.
Squeezing his eyes shut even tighter, he pours all of his strength into finding his ability to focus.
Breathe. He tells himself. Breathe, Wifies, breathe.
Parrot’s pulse vibrates through Wifies’ fingers, steadily engulfing the noise around him. As the seconds tick by, his breathing slows, the ringing in his ears quiets, and his panic subsides. Eventually, his chest rises and falls with deep, slow breaths. A bone-deep exhaustion begins to flow through his body.
Slowly, Wifies opens his eyes.
It was night. That much is clear through his spinning vision. The moon and stars pulse dimly with a gentle light. Thin strips of clouds streak across the dark sky in blurry lines. The gentle breeze pushes his hair into his face, carrying the faint sounds of the world. Looking down on him is Parrot. His clothes and skin covered in dirt and blood, hair barely held up in his high ponytail, and his wings buffeted. Although fuzzy, Wifies can see that his face is streaked with dirt, eyes sunken deep with exhaustion and wide with worry.
Relief washes over the avian’s face. “Hey, man.”
Wifies just smiles. A tired smile. “Hi.”
Silence stretches between them. Slowly, Parrot lowers Wifies’ hand down. He doesn’t let go.
“You okay?” The winged human asks.
“Yeah… yeah, I think so.” Wifies closes his eyes, trying to fight the dizziness. “Sorry. It was… it was… a lot.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Parrot reassures, squeezing Wifies’ hand lightly.
The two friends don’t say anything, enjoying the moment not overcome by noise and chaos.
“Did you… carry me out of there?”
Parrot doesn't answer for a moment. “I mean… yeah?”
“No, like,” Wifies opens his eyes. “Did you carry me, like… bridal…?”
The avian’s eyes widen. “Oh! Uhh… yeah,” he chuckles. “Sorry. I… I didn’t know how else to get you out.”
“It’s all good,” Wifies replies.
He's too drained of energy to care.
Another beat of silence. Parrot lets go of Wifies’ hand, awkwardly moving it to rest by his side. He begins to open and close his mouth, words visibly stuck in his throat.
“Sorry,” Parrot mumbles. “Umm…”
Wifies just waits patiently, looking at him through half-lidded eyes.
“What…what was it like?” Parrot’s voice is laced with hesitance.
“In the chunkban?” Wifies clarifies. Parrot nods, and there’s a long pause.
“It was…” he hesitates. “...nothing. Literally. I was surrounded by nothing, and I could do nothing. I… I couldn’t tell if I was awake or asleep. Standing up or lying down.”
Wifies releases a shaky exhale.
“I couldn’t even tell if I existed.”
A silence weighs down on them.
“Wifies, bro, I’m sorry,” Parrot finally forces out. “I shouldn’t have chosen the secret over you. It wasn’t worth anything. It wasn't worth you getting chunkbanned.”
Wifies looks at Parrot. He’s looking down, shame written in his expression.
He doesn’t need to forgive Parrot. Not because he doesn’t want to, but because he would do anything for him. Parrot was the only reason he was here. The only reason he did anything he did so far on this server. Wifies would do anything to guarantee Parrot’s success. Even if it meant walking right into a trap. As long as Parrot stayed alive, Wifies would do it.
“It’s ok, Parrot.” Wifies smiles. “I’m not upset.”
A heavy exhale escapes Parrot’s chest. He smiles.
A gentle breeze blows in the background, rustling the leaves of the trees surrounding them.
Parrot, his hand still cradling Wifies’ head, begins to rub his thumb back and forth. The soothing motion lulls Wifies into a comfortable, drowsy state. A state of… peace. Peace after reality slammed back into him.
With his eyelids weighing like rocks, he begins to blink slowly, his overworked nervous system finally submitting to the exhaustion. Through his hazy gaze, he sees Parrot smile, looking down on him.
The winged human slowly lowered Wifies head to rest on the ground. “Tired?”
Wifies nods weakly. “Yeah.”
“Hold on.” Parrot places a hand on the sleeping human's shoulder. “We can’t rest here. It’s too close to the prison.”
“Well… I can’t… really move…” Wifies mumbles.
“Yeah, I’m gonna have to carry you again.” Parrot moves his pony tail to lay over his shoulder as his wings fade away behind him. He glances at Wifies. “On my back this time.”
Wifies huffs out a laugh, closing his eyes.
Parrot gently guides him to sit up. He leans heavily onto Parrot's shoulder as another wave of dizziness and nausea overcomes him. He feels Parrot shift himself so that Wifies is now leaning against his back. Arms weave themselves underneath his legs. With a grunt, Parrot hoists Wifies onto his back. His head drops to Parrot’s shoulder, arms dangling uselessly in front of Parrot’s chest, already half asleep.
“The base is pretty far away, and the others are probably about halfway there already.” Parrot nudges his shoulder up to prevent Wifies’ head from lulling off. “I think your nervous system is shot up, so just rest. We’ll be there in a few hours.”
Wifies doesn’t reply, just tucks his head deeper into Parrot’s neck as he begins to walk. The crunch of leaves and grass underneath Parrot’s boots, his steady breathing, the sounds of the forest playing in the background. He allows himself to drift off, surrounded by the gentle noises of the land, engulfed in a comfortable darkness.
A darkness that tells him he’s finally safe.
so this is part 1 of 2 or 3 as stated above (did I state it above? Idk lol). Im not sure if I want to write the part 2 I had planned, and might just skip straight to part 3. I’m not sure. Sorry it took so long. But I hope you liked it!!!!!!
Give me some ideas related to this pls, that’s the only reason it’s taking so long 😭😭😭
