The Loop
They were losing their mind, they had to be. It was the only explanation. They hadn't dealt with resets in years. This wasn't real. It couldn't be real.
They slowly opened their eyes with those thoughts in mind. As they did they found themselves in the same place they had the last 138 times. They were in their bedroom. The bedroom they shared with her. Currently she was asleep next to her breathing soundly, her torso hidden by an oversized shirt.
C smiled and slowly ran their hand through Joker's hair as she slept. They did their best to push the images that tried to jump to the front of their mind. So many images each different but so similar. All of them depicting their love dead in one gruesome way or another. One hundred thirty-eight times they had watched her die.
They didn't register their hand shaking, or that tears were slowly running down their cheeks. They barely registered the fact their tears fell on Joker's shirt and exposed collar bone. They were just trying to focus on the fact she was alive, and ignore the traitorous part of her mind that whispered 'for now.'
"It's not real.... it can't be real....." They said softly not even intending to speak outloud.
@voidlingbooks
Joker slept peacefully. It was very rare for her to dream most nights, a part of Voidling biology that she hated. Unconciousness followed by conciousness, with nothing in between. Some nights, it made her jealous of her partner.
Tonight, however, would not be one of those nights.
Joker stirred gently, feeling a hand run through her hair. Just enough to wake her, but not enough to really make her too aware. It wasn't until the tears fell on her that she opened her human eye.
"C? Trouble sleeping?" She asked, her voice only above a whisper. Her magic eye ignited, the white speck popping into the eye socket.
"Was it a bad dream?"
C was brought out of their thoughts by Joker's voice. The question about trouble sleeping bringing them back to the present. "Mmm.. it's not a big deal though..."
They tried to brush it off as they noticed the glow of Joker's magic eye as she fully woke up. They hated seeing the concerned look on her face. Wait why'd she ask if it was a bad dream.
They reached up and noticed and the tears and blinked. When had they started crying? Why were they crying right now? Joker was still here it was okay.
"I don't... I don't want to talk about it..." They turned away trying to control their breathing.
Was the room getting smaller? Was it always so hot in here? Why were there ears ringing?
Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop, make it stop.
They placed their hands over their ears trying to block out the ringing as they curled in on themself. Their breathing growing heavier. Their chest feeling tight.
Oh.... they're having a panic attack.
