move down to me, slip into you.

ashley marie | 33 | proficient in crying we were all cooler in 2012

[missinyouiskillingme]

Can you hate someone for what they have done, but still love them for whom they had been?

Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes

[brokenpoemsandmiles]

it’s warm and feels inviting.

but so does blood as it hits your skin.

[brokenpoemsandmiles]

chaperoned prom tonight. felt cute.

[playburo]

Ian Strange

[thewildetyme]

Kill Your Darlings (2013 film)

[perfectquote]

“I think hell is something you carry around with you. Not somewhere you go.”

— Neil Gaiman, The Sandman

[brokenpoemsandmiles]

i used to think you left the light on for me, that you knew i was searching for gatsby’s lighthouse. the green light blinking in the distance only grew further as i drove for miles.

when it finally appeared, it was just a stoplight. the green light on because the crossing road had closed. no one traveled that road.

you didn’t leave the light on. i traveled all night. i didn’t realize i was gatsby, not just looking for the light.

[brokenpoemsandmiles]

the darkness is actually more inviting than the light. we shield ourselves from brightness, but love to lounge in the dark.

but why must i suffer in the comfort of the dark?

[brokenpoemsandmiles]

you know how you can feel certain dates?

i’m wondering if you ever got over hating candles. it’s not juvenile; it’s fun. i’m laughing at you smirking and swatting your way through it.

the day feels unfinished, not having reached out to say anything. making contact now feels foolish. and selfish if i’m being completely honest. you don’t deserve to suffer my loneliness anymore.

i’ll always feel you today. and probably tomorrow and for moments in eternity. happy birthday.

[thoughtkick]

“Be careful who you make memories with. Those things can last a lifetime.”

— Ugo Eze

[brokenpoemsandmiles]

help me hold on to you.

drowning in memories as i listen to your song in my parked car.

[brokenpoemsandmiles]

i sat alone awhile, just feeling the sun on my skin. i was hoping that i’d start to feel something, like it would recharge me through my skin. vitamin d, nature, all that shit. if you didn’t already guess, it didn’t work.

i haven’t struggled like this in awhile. the sense of loss and longing. tis the season or whatever they say. but this feels deeper, more set into who i am rather than what i feel. no wonder the sun can’t fix that.

they used to create pockets of joy: my muses. sunshine to my cloudy days. pulling from the memory bank of “they showed me affection” of which i had mistaken for love many times. stolen kisses, smiles meant only for me to find, the little squeeze of a hand. holding my breath until the next moment found it’s way to melt an ice pocket from my heart.

the sun doesn’t create the same warming effect. the promises made by the experts lied. sorry to tell you. so you’ll have to rely on the memories. the moments where human connection existed, no matter how brief.

but beware: the memories are haunting. you’ll feel false hope, false longing, false love, creating false gods. idolizing the affections as happiness, not just fleeting. it doesn’t carry you past the lavender haze as it leaves your mind. the clock doesn’t rewind. you don’t make it back to wonderland this time.

but what do i know? i’m sitting on a bench, daydreaming of past lovers, wishing for the sun to burn through my heart so i might feel something. carry me home, sweet memories. maybe i’ll dream of you tonight.

[brokenpoemsandmiles]

her hair was a soft brown. not like mine where it turns red in the summer, but that type that looks like a melted chocolate cone: cool in color and in feel, the silk of it slipping through your fingers.

she scared me because she was honest. she knew when i wasn’t. that i couldn’t say the things out loud that she knew in her heart. i caused the pain i could sense in her spirit; i can still feel it.

we talked through screens, through digital words, and through cameras with resolutions making it a wonder i could see the colors. late nights, mid-afternoon breaks. never in the mornings as life came first, fantasy next.

her voice travels between the space of knowing better and wanting more. knowing that too much chocolate ice cream will upset my stomach, but one more bite isn’t an issue when i’ve already consumed half the cone.

i often wonder where she wanders now. if she was able to make her green reading room or if she still wears her skirts long and her hair at her shoulders.

i’ll never know if her skin was as soft as i imagined. if her kisses would make my stomach flutter. if she knows… if she knows.

[brokenpoemsandmiles]

i waited for you in my dreams last night, waiting for the subtle wind or whisper in the dusk.

i didn’t need saving or to be rescued. just wanted to feel a familiar presence near my body. you have a soothing energy and kind heart.

you haven’t called in years, not sure why you would’ve showed up. there’s a heaviness to that; you’re hard to move past.

there are ‘what if’ thoughts and i’m left wondering if you have them too. placing soft lips to the bottle neck and wishing for a deeper sleep.

your scent lingers in the vulnerable moments my mind forgets to forget you.

so i waited for you in my dreams last night knowing you wouldn’t show, but hoping anyway.

[keeyahtay]

All we know is what we left behind / / with @yoginell @fujifilmx_us #keeyahtay #gfx100s #makeportraits #myfujifilmlegacy #portraits #mediumformat (at New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn490auuD77/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[brokenpoemsandmiles]

back when i was truly in my tumblr era

[brokenpoemsandmiles]

i’m doing this silly pre-workout dance thing on tiktok and it’s honestly the best five minutes of my day most days. it’s pure joy because i don’t allow myself to overthink it. once the song is picked, i clip my sections and just enjoy the music.

i think i’m posting them to remind myself that i can be happy when everything feels so shitty. plus, it gives me an actual natural high to feel pumped and ready for my workout. gonna see how long it works for!