
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
occasionally subtle
Sade Olutola

JVL
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

★
Misplaced Lens Cap
ojovivo

Andulka

izzy's playlists!
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

#extradirty
Cosimo Galluzzi
wallacepolsom
trying on a metaphor
will byers stan first human second
Today's Document

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taylor price
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@brooklynjuggler-blog
Stay thirsty my friends.
Grandmothers against bullshit
#CoryBookerFacts
Imagine Ron Artest
My Whitney Houston juggling tribute, featuring Tina Cioné.
The liberal media is too afraid to report on this story.
Senate approves Pat Benatar Military Appropriations Act
UANwire (Washington DC) In a rare show of bipartisanship, the Senate overwhelmingly approved the Pat Benatar Military Appropriations Act (PBMAA) 91-6. Declaring that “love is a battlefield”, the bill would allow for traitors of the heart to be held indefinitely as enemy combatants. A similar measure died in the House last year. Senator John Kerry (D-MA), a cosponsor of the bill, said “the bill sends a clear message to our enemies: We are strong! No one can tell us we’re wrong. Searching our hearts for so long”. The bill’s GOP cosponsor John McCain (R-AZ) agreed, stating “heartache to heartache we stand, no promises no demands”. The bill, however, has civil libertarians alarmed. Former Senator Russ Feingold (D-WI) warned that the bill could be used to detain American citizens accused of infractions such as adultery, forgetting an anniversary or even leaving the toilet seat up without due process. “By ceding so many of our liberties in the name of greater security, we send the message to our enemies: hit us with your best shot, fire away”, said Mr. Feingold, who added “we belong to the light, we belong to the thunder. We belong to the sound of the words we've both fallen under”. The bill now moves on to the House, were it is expected to pass.
mazungu:
“I was in New York the first time I saw a person riding a unicycle. I see it pon television, I’ve never been to the circus, just pon television. And the first time I see one for real I see a youth about 15 riding one. And man it was very scientific. Just the way how it looks to we, just the way you spell unicycle. I said now I have to get myself one. This looks very good, and it was very challenging.” - Peter Tosh.
Unicorn with a unibrow on a unicycle.
Kyle Petersen will be on The Colbert Report on Comedy Central tonight talking about unicycles and the law. Show airs at 11:30 eastern, 10:30 central. Segment will be reposted on BrooklynJuggler.com.
Legalize Four Loko!
By Kyle Petersen
I am shocked and appalled that the FDA has taken the draconian and prohibitionist step of completely banning alcoholic energy drinks, including Four Loko. Four Loko is one of the best "adult" beverages on the market for the following reasons:
The can makes it look like a regular energy drink, so you can drink it out in the open without a brown bag.
11% alcohol, which is almost as strong as your average glass of wine. Unlike your average glass of wine, it comes in a 24 ounce can.
Great flavors like fruit punch and grape!
If you drink two of these on prom night, you'll probably end up getting laid, one way or another.
It seems ludicrous that the FDA should ban Four Loko when it's perfectly legal to go to your local drinking establishment and order a Vodka Red Bull, a Jaegerbomb or an old fashioned Irish Coffee. I did a little bit of research last night, and it turns out that those drinks also contain tons of alcohol and caffeine, and make you stay up all night drinking and gallivanting with strange women of questionable moral standards.
But we all know the power of the invisible hand of the market. Where there is a demand, the market will find a way. The FDA's ban will only lead to bootlegged boozed-up energy drinks. Four Loko speakeasies will sprout up across the nation. Four Loko smugglers will run high speed powerboats to supply the youths of America with their beloved energy nectar. Four Loko cartels will be formed, kingpins will be crowned, and fortunes will be made and lost at the drop of a hat.
Eventually some states will legalize Four Loko for medicinal purposes only, but that's years away. For the time being, America's young people will have to take their liquid speedball the old fashioned way: by mixing Cool Aid, Red Bull and rubbing alcohol.
Unicyclist charged with misdemeanor
By Kyle Petersen
I was issued a disorderly conduct ticket, a misdemeanor charge, for riding my unicycle on the sidewalk last Tuesday at 7:55pm. Upon being pulled over (yes, it felt weird being pulled over while riding a unicycle), the officer took my identification and began issuing a summons. I informed him that I had previously been summoned for unicycle on the sidewalk, and it had been tossed out because the statute as written does not apply to unicycles, only bicycles and tricycles. He then cited me for disorderly conduct, saying it was for "obstructing pedestrian traffic". However, there were no pedestrians in the vicinity. When I told this to the officer, he said "I could have written you up for a lot of things", and that "this is what the precinct is having us do".
While what I did can only reasonably be construed as a moving violation, I was issued a criminal summons. The reason I was issued disorderly conduct is because there is no statute that pertains to riding unicycle on the sidewalk, so I was cited instead with a criminal violation. Basically, they issued a disorderly charge because I was not breaking any laws, but they wanted to issue me a ticket anyway.
I am writing this because I think my plight shows the extreme length the NYPD is going in their war against cyclists. This type of behavior from New York Police Department is unacceptable, and should be brought to light. Disorderly conduct is a misdemeanor and is punishable by fines, jail time, and community service. It has the potential to impact my future employment, and could remain a permanent blight on my criminal record. It is absurd that I am facing a criminal court, as I was in violation of no laws.
Poetry en español: El hábito
By Kyle Petersen
Spanish poem I wrote as an undergrad in NYU. I wrote this poem after watching a friend struggle with cocaine addiction. Translation below:
The Habit
IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION
INSTANTANEOUS RELIEF
HAPPINESS [DELIVERED THROUGH A LITTLE STRAW]
8 GOP Presidential Candidates (and why they won't win)
By Kyle Petersen
It's November 3rd, which means the race to 2012 is on! Here's my take on eight leading Republican presidential candidates, and why I think they can't win in 2012. Candidates listed alphabetically.
Chris Christie: His stewardship of the state of New Jersey has been... well... difficult. He was elected on a promise to lower taxes. He's achieving that by cutting services, specifically to education. He even dropped the ball on a large package of federal education money by not filling out his paperwork. His sabotage of a much needed tunnel expansion between New York and New Jersey cost the region hundreds of jobs and deprived the metro area of a much-needed infrastructure enhancement, which would facilitate commerce and allow goods and services to flow freely between New York and New Jersey's choked arteries.
He has no national experience, and his only national exposure to speak of has come from his public blunders. He could conceivably win a primary, but running on a promise to cut services will not resonate in a general election.
Newt Gingrich: The former Republican Speaker led the nation down a treacherous path when he pursued the impeachment of the president in the late 90s. It was a petty and futile partisan gesture. Don't expect a primary victory from this historical figure who once derided welfare recipients as "welfare queens"; Republican primary voters will not be looking to rehash the conflicts of the past: they will be focused on a new set of issues.
Rudy Guiliani: The so-called Mayor of 9-11, Guiliani's disastrous 2008 bid should be evidence enough. Liberal positions on social issues make him unpalatable for Tea Party primary voters. National Security, his supposed strong suit, does not figure to be a major issue in the 2012 race, barring a major terrorist attack. He's also getting filthy rich in the private sector, making a costly presidential run even more unlikely.
Sarah Palin: This Tea Party king (and queen) maker speaks loudly and carries a big Twitter account. Her tendency to speak freely has endeared her to America's heartland but it also leads her off message. She is repugnant to a large percentage of the electorate, and will be eviscerated by late night talk shows if she makes a run.
Sarah Palin is now a brand and an industry. Would not be surprising for her to bank on her newfound stardom and sit this race out. She does not have the support of many in the party establishment, and has low favorability ratings.
Ron Paul: Given the momentum of the Tea Party movement, it's not hard to imagine a Paul victory in the primaries. His extreme libertarian views make him an unlikely victor in a general election, as the radical center will reject him outright.
Tim Pawlenty: This Minnesota governor is too mild-mannered to win an extended primary battle in the current environment. In a primary that is likely bruising and angry, it is unlikely that Pawlenty will be able to pander to the lowest common denominator, though his centrist views make him an attractive general election candidate to face Obama. But will nominating a centrist candidate demotivate the fired-up Tea Party?
Mitt Romney: The former Republican governor from Massachusetts will not win. Even if he wins over Christian conservatives, who have been suspicious of his mormonism, he cannot do it. He is too off beat, too out of touch to win. Most importantly, his past liberal positions on abortion and health care means he will not survive a Republican primary given the current environment.
Marco Rubio: The Senator-Elect from Florida has a bright future ahead of him. His meteoric rise from humble beginnings is certainly inspiring. Can this Tea Party favorite win a Republican primary? Experience should be a factor.
Obama was largely criticized by Republicans for being under qualified because he had just four years of experience in the US Senate. Marco Rubio will have had two years of experience in 2012. If he runs, videos of his GOP backers will surface denouncing Obama as "not-ready" and "inexperienced". How will they defend their support of Rubio?
This is hilarious but kind of mean. It's not the dog's fault that it's stupid. I blame the public school system.
Dog Can*t Get Out (via BeerMagnet)