Cactus Catacomb

@brooklynnchristine

Trying to figure out who the fuck I am, trying to have a good time, trying to see the world, trying to make a difference (09/01/1995)

12.6K posts

I still think of you everytime I eat drunken noodles

Thai food is always gonna bring me back to the Thai window

And your stupid hand tattoo

And the fight you told me about

The smell of the LA street

And bloody knuckles

remanence-of-love

I felt so much when I took these, when this happened. And it’s almost like a dream, cause I don’t feel anything at all anymore.

nymphomaniacfanclub

Sissy Spacek, Carrie, Brian De Palma, 1976

It all feels unfamiliar

Like I’ve never touched this ground before

Almost like I’m walking on mars

The red clay of Arizona and the orange firey surface of mars aren’t all that different

I keep taking steps forward

One cowboy boot in front of the other

But I feel like a pirate walking the plank

This move could lead to my demise

But if I hold steady and I keep moving forward this leap could lead me to my future

I’m not afraid of death anymore

And as I wrote that my body untensed

You killed me

And I remember that cold night in September I was entangled with you in the camping chair under the stars in Wisconsin

I was on top kissing you, dominating you, and telling myself that this time I wouldn’t let you win

But I still let you eat me alive

There’s something about you that made dying feel sort of fun

It’s almost like a tattoo, it hurts but you swear it’ll be worth it in the end

To be honest, I don’t know if it was

But I can tell you one thing

For me, it was love.

I wrote you a love letter

Words meant for a king

The lies you weaved

So I’d accept a ring

I kissed your wounded knees

Held you close and begged for a love just as safe

You cried to me

Naked on the cold earth

The day you asked me to be yours

I took you in my arms

As broken as you were

And vowed to pick up the pieces

When your broken pieces chipped away at every whole part of me

Until I was nothing but shattered debris

You didn’t have the same energy

And in those lonely moments

I knew you never loved me

One day I’ll write down all the ways you wronged me

Starting with how you begged like a dog

For every girl that wasn’t me

And how I stayed so loyal

Brigitte Bardot interviewed in promotion for her film 'La Vérité' (1960).

virgin-springs-deactivated20180

1972 October Penthouse

You ripped the heart from my chest

And the words from my throat

Nothing you gave or took

Was ever gentle

You can’t love something without breaking it

And no one ever taught you how to hold a flower

Or how to apologize

Joy Sullivan, from Instructions for Traveling West: Poems; “Instructions for Traveling West”

The thing about me is, I will steal your heart, put it in my pocket, and leave just when you notice.

The thing is, I know there is more time. Around the corner. I haven’t seen the best yet. Everything I want is still just out of reach, and it’s not because it isn’t meant for me, but because time hasn’t collided yet.

Photography by Helmut Newton

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